糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S07E11
Part 2
Jan. 2, 2021, 2:38 p.m.
但弗洛伦斯不知道的是
But what Florence doesn't know
她的父母 和姐姐帕耳忒诺珀
is that Mum, Dad and sister Parthenope
会秘密监视和监听
will be secretly watching and listening
她在旅程中的所有行动
to everything she does on the trip!
我只希望她不要再搞助人为乐那一套
Well, I just hope she stops all this helping people nonsense
变得自私一些
and starts behaving selfishly,
这样我们终于能有一回以她为荣了
so that for once, we can actually be proud of her.
什么
What?
但是相比于派对和享乐
But rather than partying and enjoying herself,
弗洛伦斯更有兴趣和当地修女
Florence seems more interested in hanging out
交流互动
with the local nuns.
我就知道 她直接去了意大利女修道院
I knew it! She's gone straight to an Italian convent.
她还看着她们护理病人
And she's watching them nurse the sick.
她真的这样做了
她就这么不知廉耻吗
I mean, has she no shame?
不要管他们了 我不太舒服
Never mind them. I feel sick!
身为父母
As a parent,
这是你最不想看见自己女儿做的事情
this is the last thing you want to see your daughter doing.
弗洛伦斯对她父母的监视毫无察觉
Unaware that her parents are watching,
她一直到了德国
Florence has gone all the way to Germany
在一处宗教团体度过了四个月
to spend four months in a religious community.
她现在不只是在旁边看了
She's not just watching now.
她已经动手参与
She's joining in!
由于资助来自"爸妈银行"
And with bank of Mum and Dad paying,
是时候回家面对现实了
it's time to head home and face the music.
有没有搞错
Honestly!
不在巴塞罗那玩到晚上九点
No staying up till gone nine o'clock in Barcelona,
不在科孚岛狂饮茶
no heavy tea drinking in Corfu,
只有二十四小时不停歇的护理
just 24-hour binge nursing.
怪不得你找不到丈夫
No wonder you didn't find yourself a husband!
我不想要丈夫 我找到了工作
I don't want a husband. I've got a job.
淑女病中护理机构的
Superintendent to the Establishment
主管
for Gentlewomen During Illness.
而且 是无偿的
And... It's unpai-aid!
我们的女儿做了护士
Our daughter! A nurse!
我们做错了什么
Where did we go wrong?
克里米亚战争于1853年爆发
The Crimean War broke out in 1853
俄♥罗♥斯♥帝国 1853年
克里米亚
奥斯曼帝国
塞瓦斯托波尔
英国 法国 土耳其和撒丁岛
and Britain, France, Turkey and Sardinia
都联合起来攻打俄♥罗♥斯♥
all rallied together to fight Russia.
没人料到这是一场如此血腥和艰难的战役
No-one expected it to be such a bloody and difficult war
士兵的作战条件异常艰苦
and conditions were particularly awful for the soldiers
他们穿山越岭进行战斗
who'd travelled all that way to fight.
至少绝大部分都是如此
Well, for MOST of them, anyway.
卡迪根伯爵的克里米亚战争
卡迪根伯爵的克里米亚战争
极限生存
我是卡迪根伯爵
I'm Lord Cardigan
这是《克里米亚战争
and this is Crimean War,
极限生存》
X-treme Survival.
作为一名士兵 我要学会如何
As a soldier, I've had to learn to survive
在一些极端情况下生存
some pretty extreme conditions.
且听我为你道来
I'm going to show you how.
极限生存 秘诀一
X-treme Survival - Tip One!
食物
军饷短缺
Rations are low.
饿到不行时士兵们甚至想吃掉关键部位
Your men are so hungry they are considering eating their privates
和尸体 你需要食物
AND their corporals. You need food.
四下看看 你发现了什么
Look around you - what do you see?
老皮靴
Old leather boots
可以煮熟用来嚼着吃
can be boiled and chewed
他们真的这么做了
来补充必需的营养
for much-needed nutrition.
但我喜欢的是
But what I like to do, is...
带上一车的食物 超香
bring wagon loads of food with me - yum!
还有我的私人厨子
And my own personal chef
可以做我想吃的任何东西
to cook me whatever I like for dinner.
这就是极限生存
That's...X-treme Survival.
极限生存 秘诀二
X-treme Survival Tip Two!
保暖
真是冷啊 军队只发了夏天的军装
It's cold! The Army have only given you summer uniforms to wear.
你要做出选择
You have a choice.
不保暖就会没命
Keep warm or die!
像群窃窃私语的卖♥♥鱼妇一样缩在一起
Huddling together like a bunch of gossiping fishwives
能够让人们共享急需的体温
can provide some much-needed shared body heat
你就能扛过去
that will get you through.
但我喜欢的是
But what I like to do is...
让我的佣人给我端上一杯热茶
have my servant bring me a nice hot cup of tea,
加一双袜子
an extra pair of socks
以及一件暖暖的大衣
and a big old warm coat.
-喝吧 -那我就不客气了
- Drink! - Don't mind if I do.
这不是大吉岭茶
This isn't Darjeeling,
是阿萨姆茶 卡拉瑟斯
it's Assam, Carruthers!
极限生存 秘诀三
X-treme Survival Tip Three!
住所
四十年前滑铁卢战役留下来的旧帐篷
These old tents from the Battle of Waterloo 40 years ago
补一补接着用 能保你不被淋湿
can be patched up and used to keep you dry.
但我喜欢的是带上我自己的游艇
But what I like to do is bring my yacht instead.
在那儿呢 停在海湾里
There she is. Anchored in the bay!
在打仗的时候 也是个
It's also a nice place for your friends to stay
朋友聚会的好去处
when you're at war.
他们在玩扭扭乐呢
Oh, they're playing Twister.
等等我 伙计们
Wait for me, guys!
战争真♥他♥妈♥蛋疼
War truly is hell.
我是卡迪根伯爵
I'm Lord Cardigan
欢迎收看《克里米亚战役之极限生存》
and this has been Crimean War X-treme Survival.
令人敬畏的弗洛伦斯·南丁格尔
在战争期间 我们维多利亚时代的人
During the war, we Victorians actually travelled
真的跑到克里米亚半岛去参观战场
to the Crimea to watch the battles as tourists.
多有趣啊
Such fun!
听起来他们开始了
Sounds like they've started.
我可不想错过什么
I don't want to miss anything.
等等我
Wait for me!
想要一次毕生难忘的度假吗
Looking for the holiday of a lifetime?
快来克里米亚吧
那就来克里米亚享受五星级室外风光
Then come to the sumptuous five-star surroundings of the Crimea.
坐好了 放轻松
Sit back, relax
您的黑海大冒险即将开始
and let your Black Sea adventure begin
请尽情享受英国最好的战争观光游
as you enjoy British war tourism at its finest.
救命 我快淹死了
Help, I'm drowning!
撑住
Hang on!
快救救我
Please, help me!
救命
Help!
-别拍照片了 -即将靠岸
- Don't take pictures! - Land ahoy!
享受美妙的旅程
Enjoy splendid day trips,
包括可以俯瞰战场的绝佳山顶位置
including hillside views of the battlefield
英国游客确实这么干过
以及疯狂的暴♥力♥带来的惊奇感受
and marvel at the mindless violence.
-快来克里米亚吧 -马里恩
- Come to the Crimea. - Oh, Marion!
连续两年被评为欧洲最适宜观赏战争
Voted Europe's Best War For Watching for the second year running.
最佳战争
那是他的
It's his!
即将加入提灯女神
And soon with added Lady of the Lamp.
介意走远点么 我还要干活呢
Do you mind? I have work to do.
如果弗罗伦斯·南丁格尔觉得不错
If it's good enough for Florence Nightingale,
弗罗伦斯·南丁格尔认证
那对我来说就够了
it's good enough for me.
不要错过这独一无二的机会
Don't miss this unique offer.
这是一场你绝不想错过的战争
This is a war you won't want to miss.
快来克里米亚吧
Come to the Crimea.
食宿全包 可退全款 只需三个金镑
Full return with room and dining, only three sovereigns.
对于游客死亡 被分尸 患痢疾
No liability accepted for death, dismemberment, dysentery,
伤寒 霍乱概不负责 不含旅行险
typhoid, cholera, not ATOL protected
这是战区
it's a war zone!
令人敬畏的弗洛伦斯·南丁格尔
但勇敢的南丁格尔不是去克里米亚享福的
But our brave Flo hadn't gone to the Crimea to have a good time.
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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