糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S07E09
Part 1
Jan. 2, 2021, 2:37 p.m.
*恐怖都铎 华丽乔治*
*Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians*
*卑劣斯图亚特 邪恶维多利亚*
*Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians*
*悲惨战役 凶残争斗*
*Woeful wars, ferocious fights*
*昏暗古堡 英勇骑士*
*Dingy castles, daring knights*
*恐怖难以言表*
*Horrors that defy description*
*凶狠凯尔特 可怕古埃及*
*Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians*
*凶残维京 冷血罪行 远古的惩罚*
*Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes, punishment from ancient times*
*罗马人 堕落恶心又冷血*
*Romans, rotten, rank, and ruthless*
*穴居人 野蛮残酷不长牙*
*Caveman, savage, fierce and toothless*
*绝妙古希腊 聪明大圣人*
*Groovy Greeks, brainy sages*
*卑鄙又卑微 就是中世纪*
*Mean and measly Middle Ages*
*血腥故事无限多*
*Gory stories we do that*
*且听鼠君对你说*
*And your host a talking rat*
*历史不再是个谜*
*The past is no longer a mystery*
*欢迎收看*
*Welcome to*
糟糕的历史
糟糕的历史本期带来...
Horrible Histories presents...
令人作呕的俄♥国♥革命
2017年是俄♥国♥革命一百周年
2017 is the 100th anniversary of the Russian Revolution,
这一跌宕起伏的事件从此改变了世界
a roller-coaster ride of an event that changed the world forever,
主演包括不得人心的皇帝
featuring unpopular emperors,
沙皇尼古拉二世
拉斯普♥京♥
疯僧
mad monks
和疯狂的革命者
and wild revolutionaries,
革命者
这些都发生在一个大国中
and it all happened in a huge country
这个国家被一个皇室家族
that had been ruled by the same Royal Family,
罗曼诺夫家族统治了三百年
the Romanovs, for 300 years.
罗曼诺夫家族
沙皇尼古拉二世
《极限生存》
俄♥国♥幅员辽阔 气候极端
Russia, a land of extreme size and extreme weather,
俄♥罗♥斯♥帝国
但我们这些顽强的俄♥国♥人
but we hardy Russians
已在这生存了上千年
have survived here for thousands of years.
怎么做到的
How?
我是沙皇尼古拉二世 我来为你揭秘
I'm Nicholas II, Tsar of Russia, and I'm going to tell you how.
沙皇就是皇帝
欢迎收看...
Welcome to...
《极限生存 俄♥罗♥斯♥帝国》
X-Treme Survival, Imperial Russia.
《极限生存》小贴士第一条 食物
X-Treme Survival, tip one - food.
农作物无法生存
Crops have failed. What's more,
而且地主还征缴了你一半的财产
the landowner's taking half of everything you have.
你需要食物
You need to eat.
看看周围 你看到了什么
Look around you. What do you see?
死老鼠和腐♥败♥的蔬菜可能不好吃
Dead rat and rotten vegetables may not be tasty,
但它们能救你的命
but they can save your life.
但我喜欢的是
But what I like to do is
下令从别的国家购入外国美食
order in a tonne of exotic food from abroad
并常年将这些美食运至俄♥国♥
and have it shipped into Russia all year round.
格雷格 干得不错
Great spread, Greg.
这就是《极限生存》
That's X-Treme Survival.
《极限生存》小贴士第二条 保暖
X-Treme Survival, tip two - warmth.
俄♥国♥的冬天要到了 意味着白雪茫茫
Winter is coming and in Russia, that means a white,
天寒地冻 很多人会被冻死
frozen hell from which many people will never wake up.
冷到一些人一夜之间就能被冻僵
It's so cold that some people are frozen solid overnight.
他会没事的 你需要保暖
He'll be fine. You need to stay warm.
看看你的四周 你看到了什么
Look around you. What do you see?
奶牛能产出美味的牛奶
Yes, cows produce yummy milk.
但是你是否知道在屋内养一头奶牛
However, did you know that by letting one in your house
还能帮你保暖
it can also keep you warm?
没错 你会被牛粪包围 但能活下来
Sure, you'll be surrounded by cowpats, but you'll be alive.
但我喜欢选一座温暖的宫殿
But what I like to do is to hunker down
窝在那里过冬
for the winter in one of my many warm palaces.
日子非常惬意 那就是
Good times. And that's...
《极限生存》
X-Treme Survival.
《极限生存》小贴士第三条 健康
X-Treme Survival, tip three - health.
在如此荒凉的地方治病是很难的
Fighting illness in such desolation is tough.
你要怎么在物资如此匮乏的地方找药呢
How can you find medicine when things are so hard?
牛筋草和松油是天然的俄♥国♥草药
Goose grass and pine oil are natural Russian remedies
能抵御寒冷和感染
that can help fight cold and infection.
但我想雇一个叫拉斯普♥京♥的疯僧人
But what I like to do is hire a mad monk called Rasputin
他能通过催眠凝视治病
who can apparently heal people with his hypnotic stare.
他们真的相信这个
那就是...
And that's...
《极限生存》
X-Treme Survival.
如果我想好好做个统治者
I should probably do more to help the peasants
我可能得做更多事来帮助农民
if I want to survive as ruler.
但我想做的是...
But what I like to do is...
假装一切如常
Pretend nothing's wrong
让拉斯普♥京♥和我讨厌的德国妻子掌权
and leave Rasputin and my massively unpopular German wife in charge
而我去打仗
whilst I head off to war instead.
早上好 乡巴佬
Guten Tag, peasant scum.
感受我的凝视之力吧
Feel the power of my stare.
拉斯普♥京♥ 你太棒了
Oh, Rasputin, you're so amazing.
我觉得她已经好多了
I think she's feeling better now.
我是俄♥国♥沙皇尼古拉二世 这就是...
I'm Tsar Nicholas II of Russia and this has been...
《极限生存 俄♥罗♥斯♥帝国》
X-Treme Survival: Imperial Russia.
我可以为所欲为
I can basically do anything I want.
能怎么样呢
I mean, what's going to happen?
难道会有一群愤怒的农民闹起义
A bunch of angry peasants are going to rise up and take over
推♥翻♥三百年的君主制 把我们都杀了吗
a 300-year-old monarchy and kill us all?
做梦呢吧
Dream onski!
你好 同志
Greetings, comrade.
我是鼠索夫·鼠索维奇 鼠君的俄♥国♥兄弟
I am Ratisov Ratisoyovich, Russian cousin to Rattus.
他本来应该在这儿的 但他在俄♥国♥捉鬼
He would have been here himself, but he was RUSSIAN about!
在俄♥国♥捉鬼
RUSSIAN about!
是我啦 戴着这个又大又搞笑的帽子
It's me in a big funny hat!
难怪俄♥国♥人♥民♥
Cor, no wonder the people in Russia
不喜欢尼古拉斯二世这样的领导人
weren't happy with a leader like Nicholas II.
有一群革命志士
And there was a gang of revolutionary thinkers and fighters
准备推♥翻♥统治
ready to take over,
他们名垂青史 比如列♥宁♥
men whose names would go down in history like Lenin,
大胆的领袖
the bold leader,
斯大林 钢铁般的男人
Stalin, meaning man of steel,
还有将军托洛茨基
and Trotsky, the general.
但让我们
But let's start
从给他们带来思想启发的人说起
with the man who gave them the idea in the first place.
那个人叫卡尔·马♥克♥思♥ 来自德国
His name was Karl Marx and he came from Germany.
他生活在革命开始的五十年前
He lived 50 years before the revolution.
他提出了共♥产♥主义
The idea was called communism
这一观点认为国家应该
and it laid out the belief that countries should be ruled
由人♥民♥统治 为人♥民♥服务
by the people for the people,
人人都应平等
with everyone being equal.
那样会有什么问题呢
Now, what could go wrong with that?
大家好 我是卡尔·马♥克♥思♥
Hi! I'm Karl Marx,
史上伟大的思想家 大灰狮
the great historical thinker and big grey lion.
现在是1867年9月
It's September 1867
这是我历史预告
and here's the history forecast,
预测世界在接下来的几年将如何发展
my prediction of how the world will develop over the next few years.
先回顾中世纪
So looking back first across the Middle Ages,
我们看到国王和女王
we saw the kings and queens
在整个欧洲进行严苛的统治
reigning very severely all across Europe.
对我们大多数人来说生活都很艰难
Difficult conditions for most of us,
贫穷的农民散落各地
a heavy scattering of poor peasants
直到最近几世纪
right up until the last couple of centuries,
许多这样的统治突然终结
when a lot of these reigns suddenly ended
情况开始好转了
and things started to brighten, yeah!
所以展望未来的几年
So as we look ahead to the next few years,
我们将看到穷♥人♥揭竿而起
we're going to see poor people rising up
发动革命
and starting revolutions
反抗控制着所有工厂和钱财的人
against the people who control all the factories and money.
这将引发零星的局地暴♥乱♥
This will lead to scattered outbreaks of violence,
所以别忘带雨伞
so don't forget the umbrella!
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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