糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S07E03
Part 5
Jan. 2, 2021, 2:36 p.m.
为我做了美味的布丁
for making me a delicious pudding,
B 向我最爱的妃子道歉
B, to apologise to my favourite wife
B 马桶座圈
因为我没放下马桶圈
for leaving the toilet seat up,
C 向我已过世的最爱的妃子
or C, a tribute to my favourite wife
C 去世
表达深切的缅怀
as she has sadly passed away?
答案是C 向我已过世的最爱的妃子
The answer is C, a tribute to my favourite wife
表达深切的缅怀
after she sadly passed away.
我于1632年开始建造泰姬陵
I started building it in 1632
作为对我过世妻子的浪漫纪念
as a romantic gesture to honour the memory of my late wife.
人生一大憾事就是你最爱的妻子去世了
It's such a shame when your favourite wife dies.
我的确还有别的妃子 但都比不上她
Yes, I've got others but she was the best.
不 我要更大 就你刚刚建的那个
No, no, bigger. You know that thing you've just built?
就那样 给我放大
That but bigger.
现在的建筑工人真不行
You just can't get the staff these days.
泰姬陵 真希望你还在这儿
可笑罗曼史
沙·贾汗的泰姬陵是为了纪念逝去的爱人
So Shah Jahan dedicated his Taj Mahal to his lost love.
但就算你找到了真爱 现实有时仍很艰难
But even when you have found love, it can still be difficult.
在法国 玛丽·安托瓦内特和路易十六
In France, Marie Antoinette and Louis XVI
在奢华的盛典和众人的祝福中
celebrated their wedding with a lavish ceremony
举♥行♥了婚礼
and thousands of well-wishers.
当新婚之夜来临
Then, as the day drew to a close,
他们期待着能共享一些
they looked forward to spending
美妙的二人时光 是吗
some quality time alone together, or did they?
法国 1770年
就只有我们俩了 我的妻子
So here we are alone, my wife,
在新婚之夜
on our wedding night.
只有你和我
Just you and me.
太甜蜜了
So sweet.
只有你和我 和一步不离的所有随从
Just you and me and the courtiers, who follow our every move.
别介意我们 玛丽·安托瓦内特
Oh, don't mind us, Marie Antoinette.
就当我们不存在
We're not here.
但你们确实存在
Yeah, but you kind of are, though.
这里是宫廷
This is the Royal Court.
这里可没有隐私
There is no privacy here.
一切我们都看在眼里 皇室成员去世
We watch everything - royal deaths,
皇室婚礼 甚至皇室的出生
royal weddings, even royal births.
我喜欢皇室的诞生
I love a good birth.
我也是 太可爱了 也太恶心了
Oh, me too. So cute. So gross.
不过别担心 你尽可以相信我们
But don't worry, you can rely on us
会告诉所有人今晚发生了什么
to tell everyone else all about it tomorrow.
那么 我们现在该做什么
So, what do we do now?
我觉得按照传统应该接吻
I think perhaps a kiss is traditional.
-接吻 就像 -是的
- A kiss, that is the thing with the... - Oui.
我觉得好像是这样
I think it goes something like...
不不不
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
接吻不是这样的 殿下
That is not how you kiss, your Highness.
得把嘴嘟成这样
You put your mouth together like this.
像一条愤怒的鳟鱼
Yeah, like an angry trout.
不不 应该像鲑鱼
No, no, no. It should be more like a salmon.
-生气的鲑鱼 -谁想亲鲑鱼啊
- A cross salmon. - Who wants to kiss a salmon?
要像马鲛鱼 殿下
A mackerel, your Highness.
-像马鲛鱼一样 -或是鳕鱼
- Like a mackerel. - A cod.
不对
No.
我不干了 接吻这事太难了
No, no, no. This kissing business is too difficult.
我想去玩我的钟表
I want to play with my clocks.
钟表可不用亲
You don't have to kiss a clock.
正相反 别人会反对我去亲吻钟
In fact, it is discouraged.
行 去吧
Right. OK.
我受够了 所有人请离开卧室
I've had enough of this. Everyone out of the bedroom, please.
快 出去 麻溜的
Come on. Out! Allez!
莫名其妙
I cannot think why.
扫兴鬼
Party pooper.
所有人 走吧
Everyone. Yes.
我看见你了 快出来吧
I can see you. Off you pop.
我没说你
Not you.
回头想想 还是晚安吧
Oh, second thoughts, night-night.
历史版初次约会
他又来了 五个了 我不干了
He is back. Number five. I give up.
慢点 慢点
Easy, easy, easy, easy.
1540年
好吧 我离过婚
OK. I've been divorced,
一个前妻被我处决了 另一个死了
executed one wife and another died.
但我是国王 所以你必须嫁给我
But I'm the King, so you have to marry me.
好的 我是凯瑟琳·霍华德
OK. I'm Katherine Howard.
第五任妻子
凯瑟琳·霍华德
行吧 无所谓了
Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
这家伙是谁
Who's this guy?
我是托马斯·卡尔佩珀
I'm Thomas Culpeper.
-我是她的男... -男喷油
- I'm her boy... - Boyfrumple.
这是对仆人或助理的新叫法
It's a new word for servant, or assistant.
亨利 我注意到凯瑟琳没跟你在一起
Henry, I can't help noticing that Catherine isn't with you.
是 我发现她跟那个小白脸有一腿
No. Turns out there was something going on with that young man.
奇了怪了 她跟我说那人只是个男喷油
Amazing. I was told he was a boyfrumple.
谁能想得到
Who knew?
总之 我只能把她处决了
Anyway, had to have her executed, naturally.
很可惜 不过这意味着我又单身了
It was a shame but it does mean I'm back on the market.
说实话 我取得了一点进展
To be honest, I'm getting on a bit.
我真正需要的是个护士
What I really need is a nurse.
-你叫什么名字 -凯瑟琳·帕尔
- What's your name? - Catherine Parr.
第六任妻子
凯瑟琳·帕尔
你想要结婚吗 凯瑟琳
Do you want to get married, Catherine?
结了婚基本上跟现在没区别
Pretty much the same as now,
只不过你会戴上钻戒
except you'll be wearing diamonds
而且 下回你扶我进房♥时
and when you take me into the room next time
每个人都要称呼你为"殿下"
everyone will address you as "Your Majesty".
行 好吧
Yeah, OK, cool.
好极了 时机正好
Great. Good times.
不过你还是得给我擦屁屁
You still have to wipe bot-bot though.
抱歉
Oh, sorry.
凯瑟琳·帕尔是亨利六任妻子中的最后一任
Catherine Parr was the last of Henry's six wives
亨利去世时 他们仍在一起
and they were still married when he died,
所以他的结局似乎还不错 我和鼠妹也一样
so he kind of has a happy ending and so do me and Ratalie.
我们复合了 我要向她求婚
We are back together and I'm going to ask her to marry me.
鼠妹
Oh, Ratalie.
请收下这枚百分之百纯芝士的戒指
Please accept this ring of 100% pure cheese
跟我与子偕老吧
and make me the happiest rat in the world.
鼠君 当然了
Oh, Rattus, of course.
等等 戒指呢
Hang on, where's the ring?
我把它吃了
Oh, I ate that.
我还指望戒指盒就能让你满意呢
I was hoping you'd be happy with the box.
好吧 看来我又单身了
Oh, well. Looks like I'm single again.
我想单身也不是那么糟糕
I guess it's not all bad.
这位十八世纪的意大利名人
This famous 18th-century Italian
无疑非常享受单身生活
certainly seemed to enjoy himself.
接下来交给 卡萨诺瓦
Take it away, Casanova.
LMFAO - I'm Sexy And I Know It
卡萨诺瓦
*过来这边*
*Hey, come on over*
*我给你讲卡萨诺瓦的故事*
*I'll tell you the story of Casanova*
*我是个无业游民*
*I'm the hobo who...*
*我是个音乐家*
*Me, a musician*
*间谍 外交官 花♥花♥公♥子♥ 内科医生*
*spy, diplomat, dandy, physician*
*赌徒 军人 经纪人 自学成才*
*Gambler, soldier, broker, self-taught*
*天主教♥徒♥ 宇航员*
*Catholic priest, astronaut*
*好吧 最后一个是瞎吹的*
*OK, that last was a lie*
*但是以上都不是*
*But none of this what I am*
*我被牢记的原因*
*Remembered by*
*我也不懂为什么*
*I can't work out*
*快看那双眼睛*
*Oo-ooh, just look at those eyes*
*多迷人的眼睛*
*Such well-dressed eyes*
*我是男中极品 让所有人疯狂*
*I, of all the guys I, I drive them wild*
*治好一位参议员的病*
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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