糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S07E05
Part 2
Jan. 2, 2021, 2:37 p.m.
旋转一百八十度
rotate it 180 degrees,
和登月舱连接
and connect it to the lunar module...
-你有记下来吗 -没有
- Are you writing this down? - No.
然后你们绕着月亮飞行三十圈
..And then you fly around the moon 30 times.
请不要
No, please.
我做不了这个
I am not OK with this.
然后 巴兹和尼尔
And then, Buzz and Neil,
你们分离登月舱 登陆
you detach the lunar module and land...
在月球表面登陆
and land on the surface of the moon.
很简单
Easy! So...
有什么想问的吗
..any questions?
长官 我有一个问题
Yes, sir, I have a question...
这些人真的在1969年成功登月
Those guys really did land on the moon in 1969,
乘着火箭勇闯太空
braving outer space in a rocket
用到的技术还不如现代的智能手♥机♥
that had less technology than a modern smartphone.
百分之百的英雄
100% heroes.
百分之百的笨蛋
100% bozos.
所有的英雄都是笨蛋
All heroes are dull.
这不可能
Well, that can't be true.
看看古埃及法老拉美西斯二世
What about the ancient Egyptian Pharaoh Ramesses?
看看他取得的成就
Look at everything he achieved.
他太伟大了 到处都有他的雕像
He was such a hero, they erected statues of him everywhere.
你觉得是谁下令建了那些雕像
Who do you think ordered those statues?
今天 我要在古埃及见一位法老
Today, I'm in ancient Egypt to meet a pharaoh
凯文·麦克缪勒斯
他喜欢做大梦 建大殿
who likes to dream - and build - big.
欢迎收看历史上伟大的设计
Welcome to Historical Grand Designs.
历史上伟大的设计
拉美西斯和他的妻子奈菲尔塔利
Ramesses and his wife Nefertari
赢过许多战争 建造了令人惊叹的
have won many battles and built incredible
城市和纪念像
cities and monuments,
但没有一个能超过他们现在正在筹建的东西
none more so than the one they are planning right now.
拉美西斯二世 很荣幸见到你
Ramesses II, great to meet you.
没错 见到我是很荣幸
Yeah, it is great to meet me.
欢迎来到阿蒙神之领土
Welcome to the mansion
拉美西斯二世法老和奈菲尔塔利王后
底比斯之上的
of the millions of years
有着数百万年历史的
of Usermaatre Setepenre
乌瑟玛瑞·塞特潘利陵庙
which joined with Thebes in the Domain of Amun.
简称拉美西姆 是我提议的
We're going to call it the Ramesseum for short. My idea.
是的 这是真金打造的
Yes, it's real gold.
我有个傻问题
Silly question,
你们到底在哪睡觉呢
but where on earth are you guys going to sleep?
不不不 你完全搞错了 大个子
Oh, no, no, no wrong end of the stick, big guy.
我们不住在这儿
No, we're not going to live here.
我建造这个地方是为了让人们在我死后敬拜我
I'm building this place so people can worship me after I'm dead.
是我们 敬拜我们 亲爱的
Worship US. Worship us, darling.
你答应了的
You did promise.
那里要建什么呢
And what's going to go over there?
我想放一座我的巨大雕像
Yeah, I'm thinking a massive statue of me
加深刻上我的名字
with my name carved in extra deep
这样以后的法老就没法把我的名字铲掉
so that no future pharaohs can come along and chip it off
拉美西斯二氏
像我一样 假装是自己的雕像
and pretend it's them, like I do.
他真这样干过
那里呢 那里放什么
And what about over there? What's going there?
我要再放一座我的巨大雕像
I'm thinking another massive statue of me.
那里呢 再放一座你的巨大雕像吗
What about over there? Another massive statue of you?
-不不 -是我的雕像吗
- No, no. - A statue of me?
两座我的雕像 大家伙
Two statues of me. Big fellas. Whoa!
好吧
OK, all right.
事实上 拉美西斯是要把整座拉美西姆
In fact, Ramesses plans to fill the entire Ramesseum
都摆满自己的雕像
with statues of himself.
我只是觉得这里的雕像会不会有点太密集了
I just wonder if it might be a tiny bit statue-heavy?
拉美西斯和奈菲尔塔利 这可是个大工程
Ramesses and Nefertari, it's been a lot of work.
这一切是否值得呢
Has it been worth it?
我不知道 问那些奴隶吧
I don't know - ask the slaves.
开玩笑啦
I'm joking.
请不要和奴隶说话
Please don't speak to the slaves.
就是这样
So there you have it.
拉美西斯还能给后世留下什么更宝贵的遗产呢
What better legacy could Ramesses leave behind
除了一座宏伟的神殿 里面放满了巨大的
than a temple full to the brim with big...
-头像 -雕像
- Headed... - ..Statues?
我的雕像
Of me.
我是在说结束语 但是...
I kind of do the sign-offs, but...
你好 我是最高法老克娄巴特拉七世
Hello, supreme pharaoh Cleopatra here.
克娄巴特拉王后
当一名领袖是件很辛苦的工作 有时你要
Now, being a leader is hard work and sometimes you have to be
特别残忍♥才能管得住自己的王位
pretty ruthless to keep hold of your throne.
包括对家人也要铁面无私
And that includes being strict with your family.
我总共有四个兄弟姐妹
I had four brothers and sisters in total,
其中有几个是因我而死于非命的呢
but how many of them met a sticky end because of me?
是
Was it...
A 没有人
B 三个
还是C 所有人呢
答案是
The answer is...
B 三个
我的弟弟托勒密十三世
My brother, Ptolemy the 13th,
死于反抗我的战斗中
died fighting me in battle.
我的另一个弟弟托勒密十四世
My other brother, Ptolemy the 14th,
被毒杀
was poisoned
而我的妹妹阿尔西诺伊四世 死于刺杀
and my sister, Arsinoe, was assassinated.
挡了我的道 还指望有什么好下场吗
Well, if they will get in my way, what do they expect?
我是不是可怕极了
Aren't I awful?
英勇的英雄
邪恶的坏人
谋杀自己的兄弟姐妹 真可怕
Murdering your brothers and sisters - that's terrible.
但是好人与坏人有时
It just goes to show it's not always easy to spot
并不容易分辨
who is a villain and who is a hero.
我们希腊人甚至有一个坏蛋
We Greeks even had a villain
名字里就有"英雄"二字
with "Hero" in his name.
以弗所的人♥民♥
People of Ephesus,
公元前四世纪 希腊
我们的城市遭遇了一桩极其恶劣的犯罪
our city has suffered a terrible crime.
阿耳忒弥斯神庙
The Temple of Artemis,
世界七大奇迹之一
one of the seven wonders of the world,
被恶棍赫洛斯塔图斯烧毁了
has been burned to the ground by the villain, Herostratus.
不
Oh, no.
他犯罪的动机只有一个
He committed the crime for one reason only.
想成名
To make himself famous.
只有他做得出来
That's typical.
为了不让他得逞
To deny him this,
即刻起 不得提起赫洛斯塔图斯这个名字
it is henceforth forbidden on pain of death
违者处以死刑
to speak the name Herostratus.
这事是真的
你刚才说了
You just said it.
不 不 不 法律还没有生效
No, no, no, no, it's not started yet.
禁止说赫洛斯塔图斯的法律
So the law against saying Herostratus
现在起生...
actually starts no...
"赫洛斯塔图斯"
"Herostratus"
效
..now.
那写下来呢
What about writing it down?
我是说 把它写下来
I mean, if you write it down,
那样并不算"说出"赫洛斯塔图斯
it's not the same as saying, "Herostratus".
他说了 把他拿下
Right, he said it. Arrest him.
不 我没有
No, no, no, I didn't.
我说的是"英雄稳定剂"
I said, "Hero stabilisers".
那才是我说的 对吧
That's what I said, didn't I?
没错 这完全两码事
Yeah, it's a different thing.
是我自己造的词
It's made up, it's made up.
-这招不错 -算你聪明
- It's good. - All right.
千万别提赫洛斯塔图斯
Just not Herostratus.
好吧 我自找的
Fair enough.
抱歉各位 我来晚了
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
我错过了什么
What have I missed?
颁布了一项新律法
There's a new law.
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
剧集 | 糟糕历史（2009） | 导航列表