糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S07E09

Part 2 Jan. 2, 2021, 2:37 p.m.

当我们展望下一阶段的历史
There's a good chance of bloodshed
流血事件将有较大概率发生
as we move forward into the next phase of history.
到二十世纪初
By the time we reach the early 20th century,
我预计情况将稳定许多
I predict the picture looks much more settled,
欧洲的部分地区将迎来民♥主♥社会
with parts of Europe being ruled fairly,
摆脱商人或国王的统治
not by businessmen or kings,
由全体人♥民♥当家作主
but by all of us, the people.
我的新型共♥产♥主义体系
And my new communist system
将横扫世界
will be sweeping across the planet,
给所有人带去百分之百的晴好天气
bringing a 100% chance of sunshine for everyone.
至少我是这么希望的
At least, that's what I think.
预报又什么时候出过错呢
And when has the forecast ever been wrong?
晚安
Goodnight.
鱼子酱可能是俄♥国♥最有名的食物
Caviar is probably Russia's most famous dish.
它是种很美味的腌制鱼卵
It's yummy salted fish eggs.
等等这不是鱼卵
Hang on, these aren't eggs.
这是老鼠屎
They're mouse droppings!
谁拿我的饭碗当厕所来着
Who's been using my bowl as a toilet?
说实在的你不能相信任何人
Honestly, you can't trust anyone.
马♥克♥思♥当然不相信世界上的统治者
Marx certainly didn't trust the world's rulers.
他的共♥产♥主义观点认为应由工人阶级
His view of communism was that the workers,
而不是富人来统治国家
not the rich, should run the country,
人♥民♥要通过革命来夺取政♥权♥
and the people should take control through a revolution.
马♥克♥思♥的主张在一群叫做布尔什维克的
Marx's ideas became popular with a group of Russians
俄♥国♥人中流行起来
called the Bolsheviks.
布尔什维克
他们秘密集♥会♥ 讨论应由布尔什维克领袖
They met in secret to discuss replacing the Romanov Tsar
沙皇尼古拉二世
弗拉基米尔·列♥宁♥接替沙皇罗曼诺夫
with the Bolshevik leader, Vladimir Lenin.
弗拉基米尔·列♥宁♥
为了让这一切完全保密
And to keep everything really, really shtum,
他们有时候会在很特别的地方会面
they would sometimes meet in rather unusual places.
同志们我们的伦敦之行非常成功
Comrades, our trip to London has been a great success.
我们造访了大英图书馆
We have visited the British Library,
伦敦 1903年
在那里卡尔·马♥克♥思♥写下了众人皆平等
where Karl Marx wrote that all people should be equal
和均享一切的文章
and share everything fairly
我做了一场关于革命的精彩演讲
and I gave a fascinating lecture about the revolution.
然后我们造访了海格特公墓
Then we visited Highgate Cemetery,
卡尔·马♥克♥思♥葬于那里
where Karl Marx is buried,
我又做了一场关于革命的精彩演讲
and I gave another fascinating lecture about the revolution.
但今天我的同志马克西姆·高尔基告诉我
But today, my comrade Maxim Gorky informs me
列♥宁♥的确在欧洲各国做了共♥产♥主义演讲
你们想尝试一些更加
that you would like to do something a little bit more...
-更不无聊 -我刚准备说...
- Less boring. - That's fun. I was going to say, but...
所以我带大家来到伦敦动物园
So I have brought you here to London Zoo,
动物园
欢迎
在这里我将做一场关于革命的精彩演讲
where I will give a fascinating lecture about the revolution.
他们确实造访了动物园
俄♥国♥沙皇是我们不共戴天的仇敌
The Tsars of Russia are our sworn enemy.
为了打倒那些资本家
To overcome these capitalist...
-鸵鸟 -不是猪
- Ostriches! - No, pigs.
我们叫他们资本主义猪高尔基
We call them capitalist pigs, Gorky.
工人阶级应该得到公平对待
The working man deserves fairness,
但所有富人关心的只有
but all the rich people care about is...
-企鹅 -不不是企鹅
- Penguins! - No, not penguins!
钱钱他们关心的只有钱
Money, money, they care about money.
在共♥产♥主义下一切都将被均享
Under communism, everything is shared out equally.
我们能拯救人♥民♥于恐惧之中
We can save people from the horrors of...
冰淇淋快来买♥♥冰淇淋
Ice cream! Get your ice cream!
不不不
No, no, no. No, no, no.
退后退后
Back, back, back.
共♥产♥党人不吃冰淇淋
Communists do not want ice cream.
拜托列♥宁♥ 天气太热了
Come on, Lenin, it's a hot day.
就让我们小小的享受一下
Let us have a little treat.
好吧每人一根
Fine, one lolly each.
我要覆盆子棒冰
I would like a raspberry ripple.
不共♥产♥主义不允许这样
No, communism does not work that way.
如果一切都是被均享
If everything is shared out equally,
你不能"选择"一支覆盆子棒冰
you cannot choose a raspberry ripple.
所以只要听你的指挥
So it's the will of the workers
就算是工人的意志吗
as long as they do whatever you say?
说对了你真棒
You've got it. Well done.
照这么说给你一支黑加仑味的吧
Right, just for that, you get blackcurrant.
我好讨厌黑加仑味
Oh, I hate blackcurrant!
我要草莓味的
I wanted strawberry.
在共♥产♥主义指导下
Under communism...
你你给我停下
Right, you, stop, stop it.
你是叫维克多吧
V - Viktor, isn't it?
你听没听我说的什么
Look, have you even listened to a word I've been saying?
听了列♥宁♥ 我爱死你说的了
Yes, Lenin, I totally loved it.
你爱死了
You totally loved it?
那好说说你最喜欢哪部分
OK, which was your favourite bit, then?
和共♥产♥主义有关的那段
Erm, the bit with all the communism.
同志们你们到底想不想了解
Comrades, do you want to learn about...
同志们这里有一只海象
Comrades, there is a walrus in here
和列♥宁♥长得一模一样
that looks exactly like Lenin.
你们得来瞧一瞧
You guys have to see this!
我就知道还不如去滑旱冰呢
I knew we should have gone roller-skating.
凡夫俗子你们好
Greetings, mortals.
我是俄♥国♥沙皇皇后的顾问
I am the adviser to the Tsarina of Russia,
格里戈里·拉斯普♥京♥
那个超受欢迎的拉斯普♥京♥
the very popular Rasputin.
打中我的...
Ouch! Oh, right in the...
其实大家都讨厌我
OK, so basically everyone hates me
我最后被人谋杀了
and I was eventually murdered
杀我的是众多死敌的其中几个
by some of my many enemies.
但我是怎么死的呢
But how was I killed?
我是被
Was I...
A 毒死的
B 枪杀的
C 淹死的
答案是
The answer is...
A 我是被毒死的
A, I was poisoned.
其实还有B 枪杀的
And actually B, shot.
以及C 淹死的
And also C, drowned.
告诉过你我可是千夫所指
I told you I wasn't popular.
傻了吧
Joke's on you.
香味好浓
Mm, tangy.
要么是红富士要么就是填满了毒药
It's either a pink lady or it's been filled with deadly poison.
绝对是毒药
Definitely poison.
有超多毒药在里面
Yeah, there's loads of poison in there,
连苹果的味道都吃不出了
you can't even taste the apple.
令人作呕的俄♥国♥革命
此时此刻俄♥国♥正深陷第一次世界大战
By now, Russia was fighting in the First World War
人们的生活每况愈下
and things were getting much worse for everyone.
人♥民♥正处在崩溃的边缘
The people were at breaking point,
但幸好有沙皇尼古拉为大家打气
but luckily Tsar Nicholas's attempts to cheer them up
人们很受鼓舞才怪
were wonderfully helpful... Nyet!
第一次世界大战东线战场 1917年
好消息
Good news!
沙皇尼古拉二世来鼓舞士气了
Tsar Nicholas II has come to boost morale.
起立
On your feet.
大家好好好好好
Hello! Hello, hello, hello, hello.
见到你们真高兴
Jolly good to meet you.
你们是做什么的
So what do you guys do?
我是个士兵陛下
I am a soldier, Your Highness.
妙极了你真走运
Fantastic! What a stroke of luck
因为现在开始打仗了所以
because there's a war on, so...
现在是开始打仗了对吧
There's a war on, yeah?
-是的 -你们支持哪个队
- Yeah. - Yeah! So what team do you support?
你们站哪边的
What side are you on?
我是俄♥国♥人
I am Russian.
那就太好了
Brilliant again!
因为我们不想放德国人进来对吧
Cos we wouldn't want any Germans in here, would we?
因为他们都是敌人
Because they're the enemy.