糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S07E06

Part 1 Jan. 2, 2021, 2:37 p.m.

*恐怖都铎华丽乔治*
*Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians*
*卑劣斯图亚特邪恶维多利亚*
*Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians*
*悲惨战役凶残争斗*
*Woeful wars, ferocious fights*
*昏暗古堡英勇骑士*
*Dingy castles, daring knights*
*恐怖难以言表*
*Horrors that defy description*
*凶狠凯尔特可怕古埃及*
*Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians*
*凶残维京冷血罪行远古的惩罚*
*Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes, punishment from ancient times*
*罗马人堕落恶心又冷血*
*Romans, rotten, rank, and ruthless*
*穴居人野蛮残酷不长牙*
*Caveman, savage, fierce and toothless*
*绝妙古希腊聪明大圣人*
*Groovy Greeks, brainy sages*
*卑鄙又卑微就是中世纪*
*Mean and measly Middle Ages*
*血腥故事无限多*
*Gory stories we do that*
*且听鼠君对你说*
*And your host a talking rat*
*历史不再是个谜*
*The past is no longer a mystery*
*欢迎收看*
*Welcome to*
糟糕历史
Horrible Histories.
糟糕历史为您呈现
Horrible Histories presents...
巧妙的发明家
很久很久以前我们人类就开始发明东西
Since the dawn of time we humans have been inventing things.
很多发明甚至沿用至今
Many of which are still in use today.
我要放点萝卜上去
I'll have a bit of turnip on that.
朋友们我发明了一个东西
Friends, I have an invention
八千年前
它将改变世界
that is going to change the world.
我给它起名为轮子
I call it...the wheel.
轮子
The wheel.
轮子
The wheel?
因为"我们"[谐音]都将从中受益
Yep. Because "Wheel" All benefit from it,
所以叫"轮子"[谐音]
so wheel.
名字只是暂定的
That's a working title.
以后可能会改
Probably change it.
重点是它可以帮你
Anyway, the point is it helps you
毫不费力地移♥动♥重物
move heavy things with hardly any effort.
-不管用 -你做得不对
- Don't work. - No, see, you're doing it wrong.
这样把它立起来
So, you stand it up like this.
扶着在里面插一根棍子
Hold. And then, you put a stick in there.
然后它就能动了
And then it moves.
怎么样很聪明吧
See? Clever, isn't it?
那萝卜放在哪儿呢
Where do you put the turnips?
我会解决的
Well, I'm coming to that.
说实话我还是用我的麻袋吧
I'll be honest with you, I prefer my sack.
朋友们我也有一个发明比你的强
Friends, I too have an invention. it's better than yours.
-这下有好戏看了 -确实如此
- This should be good. - Yeah, it is, actually.
请看...
I present...
-另一只轮子 -你们惊叹什么
- ..The other wheel. - What do you mean, "Ooo"?
他是抄袭我的
He's copied me?
我没有因为你的发明就是垃圾
No, I haven't because yours is rubbish.
你的轮子上什么都装不了但是用我的
Can't carry anything on that. But with mine...
好了
..There you go.
-不错嘛 -另一边再装两个
- Nice. - Two more on the other end,
上面搭个台子这样大家才会受益
a bit of a platform. And we all benefit.
全家人都能坐得下
You could get the whole family on that,
而且与此同时
but at the same time,
如果只用来运萝卜也很好用
it's handy if you are just nipping out for a turnip.
-我才是原发明者 -是花岗岩做的吗
- Hello? Original inventor here! - Does it come in granite?
算了我去下个村了
Fine, I'm going to the next village.
也许他们会欣赏我的天才创意
Perhaps there they will appreciate my genius.
-你知道你需要什么吗 -我知道
- Yeah, you know what would help you there? - Yes, I know!
人类发明了很多东西
Yeah, so humans have invented stuff
不过伟大的老鼠有什么发明吗
but what about the great rat inventions?
比如...
Like, um, um...
鼠疫算吗
Does the plague count?
不算好吧
No? Right, that's it,
我要证明老鼠也能做伟大的发明家
I'm going to prove rats can be great inventors, too.
不过很难啊好多都已经被发明出来了
It's tricky, though. So much has already been invented.
很多都来自罗马人希腊人还有古代中国人
And lots of it by the Romans, the Greeks and the ancient Chinese.
但我很好奇哪个文明最厉害
But I wonder which one was best.
这里的气氛热火朝天
Yo, yo, it's going down right now.
这些古希腊人
So, like, all these ancient Greeks, right,
希腊人
他们说我们发明了好多东西
man, them turn up, talk about how we invented all this stuff,
比你们罗马人多得多
way more than you Romans.
接着古代中国人出现了
Right, and then the ancient Chinese guys,
中国人
他们说我们发明了好多东西
they turn up and they like, oh, we invented 'nuff stuff,
比你们希腊人多得多
way more than you Greeks.
这里是一场争辩赛
Now that is fighting talk, man.
明白了吗对战非常激烈
You get me? Things about to get real. Real fast.
一定超好看
It's going to be nasty.
我先来
All right, all right, I've got one.
*我是全中国最伟大的发明家*
*Yo, I'm a master inventor, the greatest in China*
*陪这些雅典牢骚者浪费时间*
*Wasting my time with these Athenian whiners...*
*我们发明了各种东西从金鱼到卫生纸*
*We invented everything from goldfish to bum wipers*
*我们搞发明的时候希腊人还在穿尿裤*
*We were inventing while Greeks were still in diapers.*
说得好说得好听我的
Yeah. That's all right, that's all right, listen up.
*民♥主♥ 几何甚至物理*
*Democracy, geometry, and even physics*
*马拉松盘子奥林匹克*
*The marathon, the play and even the Olympics*
*闹钟锚和中心供暖*
*The alarm clock, the anchor and central heating*
*要想赢我们*
*The only way you're going*
*除非你发明了作弊*
*to win this is if you invented cheating.*
*你想要清单我们有许多*
*You want a list, we've got oodles*
*我们发明面条时*
*We invented noodles*
*你们还在涂鸦用的纸还是我们发明的*
*while you were doing doodles on the paper we invented for you.*
*坐下吧拿把椅子*
*OK, sit down, and pull up a chair*
*你像我的蒸汽机爱吹牛皮[充满热气]*
*Like my steam engine you're full of hot air*
*我们发明了数学还发明了π*
*We invented mathematics, we even invented pi*
*另外你妈妈说了声嗨*
*Oh, and by the way, your mama says, hi.*
什么
What?
我刚看见她跟你爹在逛街
I just saw her down at the shops, with your dad.
*听我说希腊人写的书也许遍地漫天*
*Check it out. The Greeks may fill pages with their books*
*但我们发明的渔轮卷起了你的鱼线*
*But we invented fishing reels for reeling in your hook*
*针灸丝绸弩弓铃铛*
*Acupuncture, silk, cross bows and the bell*
*我们的发明真够棒你们根本比不上*
*Our inventions are awesome, while yours just smell.*
我没输我没输
No, I ain't beat, I ain't beat.
我们有没有发明悠悠球
Did we invent the yo-yo?
那多米诺呢
OK, what about dominos?
-我们发明的 -那指南针呢
- That was us. - All right, w-what about the compass then, yeah?
还是我们
Yeah, us.
*放弃吧大家都在说*
*Give it up man, the word is on the street*
*中国对战希腊你们被击败啦*
*It was China versus Greece and you got beat*
让我试试让我试试
OK, let me do one, let me do one.
*确实你们发明了很多好东西*
*Yeah, it's true, you guys invented a lot of cool stuff*
*想要击败你们并不容易*
*And yeah, beating that is gonna be tough*
*但有样东西会让你们都汗颜*
*But I've got something that'll have you all shushing*
*伟大的罗马人发明了放屁垫*
*I'm a mighty Roman, home of the whoopee cushion*
罗马人真的发明了放屁垫
什么那是什么玩意儿
Literally what? What was that?
-太可笑了 -放屁垫
- That's ridiculous, man. - The whoopee cushion.
巧妙的发明家
哈哈天才
Ha-ha, genius.
当然我们罗马人不只发明了放屁垫
Of course, we Romans invented more than just a whoopee cushion.
我们发明了书本
We wrote the book on inventions.
算是吧
Well, kind of.
睡前故事时间阿蒂克斯
Time for your bedtime story, Atticus.
罗马公元一世纪睡前时间
我们讲到哪了
Now, where were we up to?
妈妈我们能不能用这个讲故事
Mummy, can't we just read from this instead?
这个叫手抄本是新出来的
It's called a codex, it's new.
在学校他们管这叫书本
At school they're calling them books.
你不能有手抄本阿蒂克斯
You cannot have a codex, Atticus.
我一直都用卷轴给你讲睡前故事
I always read you a scroll at bedtime.
妈妈别和伊特鲁里亚人似的
Mummy, stopping being so Etruscan.
公元前罗马北部的一个民族
卷轴一点都不好