高中前要做的一百件事（2014）

100 Things to Do Before High School S01E06

Part 3 March 19, 2021, 10 p.m.

Every time I want to help my friends...
每次我要帮朋友的时候
It's ridiculous, walking around
在走廊里带着这玩意儿
in the halls with this thing...
走来走去真是可笑
I was up all night with this baby!
我昨晚一夜没睡就是在照顾孩子
Hello?
有人吗
Who's home?
谁在家里
Just me again.
还是我一个人
What's in the bags?
包里是什么
Flour octuplets.
八个面粉宝宝
Eight?
八个
Dad, nobody gets that many do-overs.
爸爸这重来次数也太多了吧
I know.
我知道
I'm a terrible father.
我真是个糟糕的爸爸
I dropped you guys a few times, and I'm sorry.
我摔过你们几次对不起
Your mother was right.
你妈妈说得对
Yeah, but...
是啊但是
you also went to every game
你还是尽可能参加了每场比赛
and school concert you could.
和学校音乐会
You provide the voice of calm when mom gets,
每次妈妈呃抓狂的时候
you know, a little crazy
你都能保持冷静
and you are the most-hugging dad in history.
你也肯定是史上最热爱拥抱的爸爸了
I guess I am... pretty good.
这么说我还是不错的
So good, in fact, I think you get one more do-over.
非常不错其实我觉得你有资格再来一次
Okay.
好的
Okay, one more.
好吧再来一次
Okay.
好的
Okay, stop!
好了你歇着吧
It was the most amazing school motivational poster in history...
这是学校有史以来最励志的海报了
but it made me sad.
但我看着好伤心
And who in school would take a bag of flour?
学校里有谁会要一袋面粉呢
Wait, flour... cookies.
等等面粉饼干
Person who makes cookies.
做饼干的人
Lunch lady.
食堂大妈
Hi.
你好
Um... I think that's my bag of flour on the table.
呃桌上那包面粉好像是我的
I left it in a cart in the hallway.
我把它丢在走廊的推车里了
Perhaps was a bad idea.
谁让你丢三落四的
Probably.
可能吧
But if I can have it back,
但如果我能把面粉拿回来
my mom will get me a guinea pig.
我妈妈就会同意我养荷兰猪
You know, when I was your age,
我像你这么大的时候
I asked my mother for pet goat.
我求我妈同意我养羊
You know what she said?
你知道她说了什么吗
You can have a fish instead?
你就养条鱼吧
No.
不是
She laughed... ha!
她嘲笑了我哈
Then vomited ice because it was 30 below zero.
接着就吐冰块了因为当时零下三十度
I have to prove I'm responsible.
我必须得证明我是个负责任的好孩子
But you are clearly not,
但很明显你不是
and not ready for guinea pig.
没能力养荷兰猪
I am like angel for you, yes?
我就像你的守护天使一样是吧
No!
才不是
Maybe I wasn't responsible enough for a guinea pig
也许我的确还没资格养荷兰猪
and maybe...
也许
Smokescreen mode now.
开启障眼法模式
We don't have a smokescreen mode.
我们没有什么障眼法模式啊
Then take Chip, they're after him.
照顾好薯片他们正在追杀他
You're my only hope.
你是我唯一的希望了
She's always telling me what to do,
她总是告诉我要做什么
but I don't want to be told what to do anymore.
但这种日子我受够了
I just want to prove to Fenwick
我只是想证明给芬威克看
that I'm more responsible than him.
我比他更负责任
We had an arrangement
我们说好的
that I would help him take care of this flour baby
我会帮他照顾面粉宝宝
together.
一起照顾
He just can't cut me out.
他不能就这么让我出局
It's not even yours.
这孩子跟你一点关系都没有
Okay, guys, we realize we're talking about a bag of flour?
好了我们都知道这孩子是袋面粉对吧
My bag of flour.
这袋面粉是我的
I'm the one who named him Elliot.
给他起名艾略特的人是我
Well, I just changed his name to Not Elliot.
我刚刚改了名字不是艾略特
That's a horrible name.
这什么破名字
Okay.
好了
Well, Christian.
克里斯蒂安
It was very nice of Mindy to help you
明蒂是好心帮忙的
and it looks like your bag of crushed ground wheat
你的这包研磨小麦粉似乎
is well taken care of,
被照顾得很好
so I can't believe I'm doing this,
我居然要说这话了
why don't you take the bag of crushed wheat during the week
要不工作日的时候你带孩子
and Mindy can have it during the weekends
周末让明蒂带
or until one of you drops it?
或者等你们其中一个把它摔了再交换
Okay, I'm fine with that.
好啊我同意
Do we sign some sort of custody agreement?
我们要不要签个什么监护协议
Why not?
好啊
Oh, good, it's safe.
哦太好了它没事
And I have joint custody of Not Elliot.
我已经取得了不是艾略特的共同监护权
And he still hasn't beaten me.
我还没有被他打倒
What's wrong?
怎么了
The new lunch lady has my flour baby.
新来的食堂大妈拿走了我的面粉宝宝
It's about to be cookies.
它马上就要变成饼干了
What? What?
什么什么
We have to go get him, now!
我们必须把他抢回来现在就去
Actually...
其实
I was hoping you'd say that.
我就等你们这句话了
Operation Flour Baby was a go
拯救面粉宝宝计划开始
and it was gonna be our greatest rescue ever.
这一定是我们最伟大的救援计划
And then it wasn't.
然而现实好残酷
Out, out, out!
都给我出去
Get out!
出去
We're just being responsible!
我们只是想当负责任的好孩子
And what about my responsibility
我还要负责给糕点义卖♥♥会
for making Moscow toe cakes for bake sale?
做莫斯科小爪子蛋糕那我怎么办
American children.
美国小孩真够呛
Always dressing like spies and wanting guinea pigs.
总是打扮成间谍的样子想要荷兰猪
For goodness sake...
真是要命
Take happy face bag.
把笑脸面粉包带走吧
There will be less toe cakes for students,
学生们会少几个小爪子蛋糕
but guinea pig for you.
但你可以养荷兰猪了
Go!
快走
We had done it.
我们成功了
With focus, determination and some sticky notes,
凭借着集中精神决心和便签
we made it through the day with our flour babies intact.
我们让面粉宝宝一整天都完好无损
And in just three minutes,
还有三分钟
I would be on my way to the pet store to meet my wonder pig.
我就能去宠物店见我的神奇猪猪了
Then I noticed something outside.
接着我发现外面有点事
Fenwick was trapped.
芬威克被围攻了
Sorry, Fenwick.
抱歉芬威克
But you fell right into our trap.
但你掉进我们的陷阱里了
Just give us the chips
把薯片交出来
and we'll give you extra credit.
我们就给你加分
And who wants a solo
谁想在下一场学校音乐会上
in the next school concert?
独唱一曲呢
Come on, it's just a bag of snacks!
拜托这只是包零食
No!
不
It's not just a bag of snacks.
这不只是包零食
And his name is Chip.
他的名字是薯片
Grab the bag.
同志们上
And right then, I learned
就在那时我意识到
that being responsible also meant being a good friend...
负责任也意味着要当一个称职的朋友
so I invented smokescreen mode.
所以我自创了障眼法