副总统（2012）

你干嘛呢? -
What are you doing?
先生 这个流泪戏码大家很买♥♥账啊
Sir, this crying is tracking pretty well.
你说啥?
What?
哎呀妈啊 没错
Oh, shit. Yeah, it's good.
这下大洗牌了 -
Okay, that changes everything.
她是一位你们都十分熟悉的人
She's someone I know you know very well.
快过来 放松点儿 行不?
Hey, come here. Relax, okay?
我跟她谈过了 你们也谈过了
I spoke to her. You spoke to her.
她不可能背书支持你的
She's not gonna fucking endorse.
不 不 不 她必须现在就背书
No, no, no. We want her to endorse now.
听懂没? 她已经从人人嫌变成人人爱了
Okay? She's gone from toxic to turn-on.
反正就等我们一点头 你就跟她放话 听懂没
So just... when we give you the nod, give her the signal, all right?
你俩现在搞得我胃灼热了都
You guys are burning a fucking hole through my stomach.
我花了一下午时间按照你俩意思来
I just spent all afternoon fixing this for you.
结果现在可又不玩儿了? 你头一回遇到么?
Now you want me to unfix it? is this your first day in The game?
我看他好像快说完了...
I think he's wrapping up, so...
好吧 你感觉如何?
Okay. How you feeling?
这样啊 我是个政♥治♥上的麻风病人 情感上的定时炸♥弹♥
Well, I'm a political leper, and I'm an emotional time bomb.
所以你猜怎么着... 咱上台吧
So here's an idea... let's put me onstage.
Selina Meyer.
女士们先生们 谢谢各位
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much.
太美妙了 谢谢各位
So wonderful. Thank you.
请入座 谢谢各位 这是我...
Please be seated. Thank you so much. It is my very...
快点儿 你等啥呢? 快点儿给信♥号♥♥
Come on, what are you waiting for? Give her the signal.
啥信♥号♥♥啊?
What the fuck is the signal?
哪有什么国际通用的信♥号♥♥ 能表达'快背书'的意思?
There's no international signal to endorse.
你♥他♥妈♥动点儿脑子啊 竖个大拇指啥的
Use your fucking head. Give her a thumbs up or something.
我的天啊 今天真是
Oh, my goodness. Well, this has been
非比寻常 不是吗?
quite the day, hasn't it?
我们爱你
We love you!
谢谢你们 -
Thank you very much.
她可不能一天哭三回
She can't cry three times in a day.
三振就出局了 -
That's three strikes and you're out.
她的泪腺有多发达啊?
How big are her tear ducts?
跟他妈潮汐似的一阵一阵的涌 -
It's like they're fucking tidal.
在这样开心的场合...
Such a happy occasion, and...
老天爷啊 我去 别背书了
Jesus Christ. Fuck it, don't endorse.
我非常荣幸能来到联邦第17个州
I'm so glad to be here in the 17th state of the union.
我的祖父来自辛辛那提
My grandfather, he was from Cincinnati, as a matter of fact.
Oh.
我家过去常说这么一句话
We used to have a saying in our family.
我们常说不喜欢自己的
We used to say we're awfully embarrassed
犬牙形象
by our buckteeth.
但是来自俄亥俄州 我自豪
But we were mighty proud of our buckeyes.
好了 背书 快背书
Okay, endorse. Endorse. Endorse.
你确定? 背书 快点儿
You're sure? Endorse. Yes.
我...
I, um...
仍然想念我的祖父
I still miss my grandpa.
干嘛呢 大力水手?
What is that, Popeye?
不是 让她坚强起来 他太了不起了
No, be strong. He was the best.
他... 他无比坚强
He was... he was such a strong man
因为他来自一个伟大的州
from a great state.
这就是我今天来这儿的原因
And so that's why I've come here today.
我来这里
I've come here today
是为了支持
to give my 100% support
Roger Furlong众议员
to congressman Roger Furlong
成为下一任
to be the next, the best,
俄亥俄州州长
governor of Ohio.
没错
That's right.
就是你 快上来
That's you. Come on up here.
什么情况这是?
What the hell just happened?
跟你共襄盛举真是荣幸啊
So great to be part of your feel-good moment.
你个下作的混♥蛋♥
You're a dirty little prick.
天啊 真心谢谢你
Oh, boy. Thank you so much.
那是必须 天啊
Absolutely. Oh, boy.
别忘了你的儿童♥增♥高椅 -
Don't forget your booster seat.
那就别占着
Oh, shove it up your ass.
谢谢你 好的
Thanks So much. Okay.
那个会读唇语的记者没来吧? -
Hey, that photographer who reads lips,
没有
he's not here, is he? Mm-mmm.
没来啊 这下放心了
No. That's a blessing.
你看芝加哥先驱论♥坛♥报没?
Did you see the Chicago Tribune?
哦 好极了 我从来没这么喜欢看报纸过
Oh, this is so great. I've never enjoyed reading this much.
知道么 我妈说Selina看起来 闪耀着脆弱的人性光芒
You know, my mom said that Selina looked human and vulnerable.
好啊 这可不是赞美
Great. Not a compliment.
她认为脆弱是人性的弱点
She sees human vulnerability as a weakness.
我喜欢你妈 说的可是我妈啊 Dan
I like your mom. Don't talk about my mother, Dan.
早! 你看芝加哥先驱论♥坛♥报没?
Good morning! Did you see the Chicago Tribune?
看见了 看过了 消化了
I've seen it, I've read it, I've eaten it,
我沐浴在成功的氛围里 如今我回来啦 姑娘小伙儿们
I've showered in it. I'm back, my babies.
是啊 跟橡胶上帝似的
Yeah, you are. Like rubber Jesus.
Dan 快过来跟我握握手啊
And, Dan, get over here and shake my hand.
干得多漂亮啊 我很荣幸
What a Great job you did. my pleasure.
说真的 让我支持Furlong
Seriously, getting me to endorse Furlong.
大家还不掌声鼓励一下?
How about that round of applause?
快点儿啊 大家鼓掌
Come on, guys. Give it up for him.
真棒
Absolutely great.
你知道这些人里没一个真心喜欢你的吧 -
You know none of these people generally like you.
谁会在乎啊?
So fucking what?
大家好 哎呀这么隆重!
Hey, everyone. Oh, hey!
是呀 也是时候了 谢谢
Hey, it's about time. Thank you.
你好 Mike
Hey, Mike.
总统先生对事态的新发展很满意
Potus is so excited about this new narrative.
我设法让Selina在电视上哭出来了
I engineered Selina crying on camera.
我就是木偶大♥师♥ 匹诺曹
I'm the puppet master. I'm Pinocchio.
匹诺曹不是大♥师♥ Mike 他就是个木偶
Pinocchio wasn't the puppet master, Mike. He was the puppet.
哦对 五岁娃娃都知道
Uh, yeah, he was. Five-year-olds get that.
Jonah 男士俱乐部有啥指示?
Jonah, do you come bearing news from the gentleman's club?
我是来表达总统的支持的
I come bearing a message of support from the president.
总统先生打电♥话♥了 -
Oh. As you know, he called.
Sue 他打了么?
Sue, did the president call?
没有 哎呦
No. huh.
这样的 不是真正意义上的电♥话♥
Well, it wasn't an actual call.
是让我来传达一个电♥话♥的意思 嗯
I am Here in lieu of that call. Uh-huh.
他跟我... 我有一个重大消息要宣布
But he And We are... I have a very big announcement to make.
请大家跟我进办公室
I'd like everyone to follow me into my office, please.
这边请 嗯 我是想
This-a-way. Okay, so I am about to announce
进行一项改组
a certain realignment.
Mike 真遗憾呐
Oh, Mike. I am sorry for your loss.
Dan 你升职了
Dan, you're getting a promotion.
Wow. Yeah!
太谢谢你了 不用客气
Thank you so much. You're welcome.
我刚签了份租车合同 如果我能再多呆半年...
I just signed for an auto lease. If I could get six months...
以后我每天的对外反驳都由你来负责好吗
I want you to be in charge of day-to-day rebuttal for me, all right?
政策和公共演讲方面以后由你负责
You'll be the new director of policy and presentation.
谢谢你 这就是我毕生所求啊
Thank you, ma'am. This is all I've ever wanted.
这是我毕生不屑的 -
This is all I've never wanted.
他现在成我上司了?
Is he... is Dan my boss now?
我能评论一句不 这太精彩了?
Can I just say that this is really exciting to watch?
我想我有活儿要干了
I guess I've got some business to attend to.
啥活儿啊? 你不需要知道Mike
What business? That's a need-to-know basis, Mike,
这种信息不对你开放
and you don't have the clearance.
真好笑 真的假的?
Funny. Is that true?
真可悲 你就跟
This is sad. You're like an old panda
公园里快被结果的大熊猫一样啊
that's gonna get put down at the zoo.
还能阖家观赏呢 滚蛋
they bring kids in to watch that. Fuck off.
我猜我安全吧
I'm assuming I'm safe.
Amy 你为了我假装流产
Amy, you pretended to have a miscarriage for me.
你仍然是我队伍中不可或缺的一员
You remain crucial to my policy team.
听好了 姑娘小伙儿 我升职了
All right, boys and girls, I got a promotion.
第一件事就是先发一份媒体声明
So first order of business is to issue a press release,
内容我已经写好了