副总统（2012）

Chung 闭嘴
Chung. Shut up.
那是什么? 别担心
What is that? Don't worry about it.
Felicia 等一下 你尽管问她女儿的事 好吗?
Felicia, one second. Feel free to dive right in on the daughter, okay?
因为我们希望你问支持率的问题
'Cause we want to hit these disapproval ratings head on.
看吧 他对我这么说话的时候 我就觉得很紧张
See, when he says things like that to me, it makes me anxious.
我们刚知道Chung州长在和总统打高尔夫
We just found out that Governor Chung is golfing with potus.
所以如果你想提这个话头的话... 好的
So, if you want to talk about that... All right.
非常感谢
Thank you so much.
能回俄亥俄州来真棒
It is just great to be back in the state of Ohio.
最近这几个月你很不顺吧
Been a rough couple of months for you, though.
你的阻挠改革停滞不前
Your filibuster reform stalled.
绿色产业倡议也死了
Clean jobs initiative, dead in the water.
你说了很多希望带来改变的话
You talk a lot about really wanting to be able to make change.
你还觉得自己可以改变什么吗?
Do you still think you're gonna be able to make that happen?
当然了 是的 我为我们感到非常自豪
Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I'm very proud
对于目前的成就
of what we've been able to achieve thus far.
那你感觉自己是重回游戏了么? -
So you feel you're back in the game?
呃 这对我来说可不是游戏
Well, it's not a game to me.
而且流言肯定也让你很受伤
Must be very hurtful for you, too, with all the gossip going around.
到底她会下台么? 我才知道
Is she gonna go? I just understand today
今天总统和Chung州长打高尔夫了
that the president is golfing with Governor Chung.
这个消息困扰到你了吗?
Does that bother you?
总统
Well, I mean, the president
想和谁打高尔夫都行
can play golf with whoever he likes.
可我来这里是因为我有工作要做
But I'm here because I have work to do.
这是全年无休的 这是我的政♥治♥职责
It's 24/7. It's a public duty.
全年无休那就是说没有多少时间 留给你的家人了?
24/7 doesn't leave you much time for your family,
你女儿
your daughter...
呃 这是一个让人精疲力尽的日程 确实是这样
Well, I mean, it's a punishing schedule, that's for sure.
我是说 你会...你会累
I mean, you get... you get tired
而且会被...被打击
and you get knocked... knocked back.
但是...
But...
你能想象吗 Felicia
Can you imagine, Felicia,
如果我累了的话
if I'm tired,
想象一下俄亥俄州的橡胶工人有多累吧
imagine how tired the rubber makers are here in Ohio.
她太牛逼了
She is magnificent.
日复一日的制♥作♥橡胶
Making rubber day in and day out.
我觉得俄亥俄就是橡胶球之州
I feel that Ohio is the rubber ball state,
如果你仔细想想的话 它永远都会反弹回来
if you think about it.
俄亥俄公民民♥主♥党筹款会
Always bouncing back.
我不知道她到底在想什么
I don't know what the hell she could have been thinking.
你上一次一天哭两回是什么时候?
When was the last time you cried twice in one day?
比你想的要近多了
It was a little more recently than you'd think.
Oddjob (007中的一个反派)
Oddjob.
过来 你老板他妈是搞什么?
Come here. What the fuck gives with your boss?
我看见她崩溃了
I saw the meltdown.
众议员 我看到的是热情和信念
Congressman, I saw passion. I saw conviction.
我看到的是他妈疯婆子
I saw a fucking crazy lady. That's what I saw.
如果她提到我名字的话 如果我得到了支持的话
If she mentions my name, if I get the stamp of approval,
要是她点石成屎的手敢懂我一下 我就冲着你来 朋友
the midas touch from Jenny shitfinger, I'm coming for you, pal.
我和美♥利♥坚♥国会会弄死你的 -
Me and the congress of the United States will get your ass.
是的 先生
Yes, sir.
去问问你的朋友Macauley 也许他能帮助你
Ask your buddy Macauley about it. Maybe he can help you.
有请副总统
The vice president.
你好! 是的 我看见你了
Hello! Yes. I see you.
看看这些人啊
Oh, wow, look at this group.
他们能在我之后活到投票的那天么?
Are they gonna live long enough to make it to election day,
也许不会
right behind me? Probably not.
哈罗啊 不能投票的娃娃们
Hello, children who do not vote.
访谈的回馈很好
We're getting great media response to the interview.
你也收到了吗? 不 更好
Are you getting this, too? No, better.
我在这房♥间里已经调查过了 很热情 很友好
I've been polling the room. It's warm, it's friendly.
如果这在俄亥俄管用 那全国都会买♥♥账的
If this plays in Ohio, it's gonna go national.
来吧 Amy
Come on, Amy.
Marcus 什么?
Marcus. What?
我做了一个蛋糕 上面有你的脸
I made you a cake with your face on it.
不是吧? 噢!
Are you kidding me? Oh!
那看起来就像是我在参议院 度过了漫长一天的样子
That looks like me after a long day in the Senate.
我想她就捐了50块 -
I think she's only paid 50 bucks.
我得走了
I have to go.
副总统女士 什么?
Madam Vice President. Yes?
我要给你介绍一位真正的白金捐赠者
I'd like to introduce you to one of our actual platinum donors.
我有一些关于税改的想法想和你聊聊
I have some great ideas about tax reform I want to talk to you about.
我很想听 呃 这世上有两种人
I want to hear them. Well, there's two types of people.
啊哈 对吧? 有一种是抓取者
Uh-huh. Okay? you got grabbers.
然后是另一种
And then you have the other kind.
我没有给他们取名字 他们不抓东西
I don't have a name for that. The ones who don't grab.
抓取者 好吧
Oh. The grabbers, right,
他们抓住世界的蛋蛋 好吗?
they take the world by the scrotum, okay? Oh.
而他们让事件发生 这个口味太重了
And they make It happen. this is just riveting stuff.
噢 对不起 对不起 什么?
Oh, I'm so sorry. So sorry. Yes?
我不知道要说什么 所以我就只好对你耳语了
I don't know what to say, so I'm just whispering instead.
我这里有...
Oh, I have the...
中东的问题 你一会儿再说吧
Middle east. you Can talk later.
我们还有一晚上呢 很感激 你好
We have All night. I appreciate that. Hello. Uh-huh.
我只是想离
I just want to eat in a quiet corner
这帮二货远远的
away from these bozos, okay?
找个安静的角落自己吃东西 好吗?
And that's the essence of a grabber.
这就是抓取者的精髓
Okay? Mm-hmm.
对吧? 嗯哼
You'd think with all the money I'm jerking up the wall here,
你以为就凭我射在墙上的这些钱
I'd get more than a stuffed chicken breast.
我吃得会比夹心鸡胸肉强
Right, well, you know, I've got to tell you,
就是 我告诉你吧 这些承包伙食的啊...
these caterers, they've got...
我捐了3万块 就换了一块鸡胸肉
I gave 30,000 bucks, I get a chicken breast.
那个人连500块也没捐 他也得了一块鸡胸肉
That guy didn't give 500 bucks, he's got a chicken breast.
那我得的是什么 馅料么? 嗯哼
What do I get, stuffing? Mm-hmm.
好吧 给我来个鸡腿什么的啊
Okay. Throw me a drumstick or something.
Larry 你好啊
Larry. Hey.
真高兴见到你 为啥 你惹上官司了?
It's good to see you. Why, you need a lawyer?
好吧 听着是这么回事儿
All right, look. Listen.
我可能惹上了点儿麻烦
I may have gotten involved in a little something.
要是我被国会委员会质询了怎么办
What happens if I get called in before a congressional committee?
这样的话 你需要准备三个说辞
Okay, you need three versions of your statement.
类似我自己的版本 对方的版本 还有真实版本是吧?
Uh-huh, like what I say happened, what they say happened, and the truth?
没错吧?
Right?
书面的 口头的 和一份简短的口头版本
A written, an oral, and a shorter oral
有的时候会有时间限制 好吧
in case of a time limit. right.
国会委员会问问题你当然得说真话 Dan
Yeah, you want to tell a congressional committee the truth, Dan.
出点儿什么差错 你就会因作伪证被起诉
Anything out of line, you're looking at a perjury charge.
奶奶的! -
Fuck!
别给自己惹麻烦 听见没?
Don't call attention to yourself, all right?
就低调点儿小心行事
Just lay low, keep your head down.
好吧 那如果真的发生了
All right, now let's say this does actually happen
我被叫去质询 那是个什么情况啊
and I get called in, what's it like up there?
你想像一下做梦梦见橄榄球队教练冲你发飙
You know those dreams where your football coach is screaming at you,
你就低着头 还穿的跟秀兰邓波尔似的 接下来就被打得就满地找牙了 想象得出不
you look down, you're dressed like Shirley Temple and then all your teeth fall out?
这个跟国会委员会比起来 简直是梦幻迪士尼
That's like a Disney version of a congressional committee.
你会经历各类问题 可能是温和的 也可能是严厉的拷问
You're gonna get hometown, downtown questions.
甚至遭到党派攻击 因为有人一定会哗众取宠
You'll catch partisan shit. There's gonna be grandstanding.
然后一旦他们尝到了甜头 他们就会觉得你不行了
And if they smell blood, if they think that you're going down
然后大肆攻击
and there's gonna be a kill,
你搞不好还会被鞭尸
you might get what we call corpse fucking.
老天爷啊 鞭尸?
Jesus. Corpse fucking?
就是就算你已经倒了 他们还会喋喋不休地攻击你
That's what it's called where they take your mortal remains
并且乐在其中
and have as much fun with it as they can.
因为人人都想上电视 懂不?
'Cause everybody wants to be the guy getting the TV sound bite, okay?
他们会一直谈论你
And they're gonna be talking about you.
懂了 好的
Yeah. Yeah.
谢谢你们
Thank you so much.
衷心感谢大家 各位晚上好
Thank you so, so, very, very much. Good evening, everyone.