副总统（2012）

- 夫人 - 我要去收拾东西了
- Ma'am. - I need to gather my things.
还有件事... 这些该加水了
I'll tell you something else... these need water, okay?
- 好吗? - 明白
- Got it. - Okay.
- 好 - 夫人 总统更希望你选择移♥民♥法案...
So, ma'am, potus would like your new chosen subject to be immigration reform...
美国公民被非法移♥民♥抢走工作 诸如此类
Americans losing jobs to illegals, et cetera.
我整个初期竞选都是爲移♥民♥特赦说话
I spoke in favor of immigration amnesty all during my primary campaign.
- 嘿 最近如何? - 无意冒犯 夫人
- Hey, how's it going? - Well, with respect, ma'am,
你真以爲有人记得你的初期竞选吗?
do you think anybody's gonna remember your primary campaign?
除了开头半句 我没察觉到
In spite of your preface, I did not detect
剩下的问题中有一丝尊重
a whole lot of respect in that question.
我的初衷是淡化选区的回忆
You know, I meant that more as a slight against
而非攻讦你的竞选效能
the power of recollection of the electorate and not as an attack on the potency of your campaign.
那爲什麽你不直接那麽说呢?
Well, why didn't you say that, then?
噢 因爲你的社交能力是狼教的
Oh, because you have the social skills of someone who was raised by wolves.
噢 还有把中国强调成贸易伙伴
Oh, and pump up China as a trading partner.
我们必须坚持强调这点
We gotta keep nudging that one along.
我该回白宫去了 天啊 我真喜欢这说法
I gotta get back to the White House. God, I love saying that.
天佑总统
Well, God bless the president, you know.
他真是个好人
I mean, he's really a great man,
但他真的让我彻底乳酸了
but he is busting my fuckin' lady balls here.
还有强调中国?
And pump up China?
那算是对Chung的刺探吗?
Is that some sort of dig about Chung?
好吧 我想我们回不了家了
Okay, so I guess we're not going home.
- 对 Sue? - 在
- Yeah. Sue? - Yep.
- 我们不走了 - 嗷
- We're staying. - Aw.
周日 早7:45 副总统官邸
- 周六晚上玩得开心吗? - 还不错
- Did you have a good Saturday night? - It was okay.
我的Leviathan拉链坏了
My zipper on my Leviathan broke,
我不得不开车到处找修理替换
so I had to drive around trying to find a replacement.
- 你怎麽过的? - 你问我怎麽过的? 我晚上7点上♥床♥
What did you do? You know what I did? I went to bed at 7:00 P.M.
晚上7点 还是周六晚 罹患疟疾的人都睡得比那晚
- Ooh. - 7:00 P.M. on a Saturday night. Even people who are dying of malaria stay up later than that.
他们睡不着的 因爲咳嗽
Well, they can't sleep because they're coughing.
嗨 伙计们 我准备好了 马上下来
Hi, guys. I'm all set. I'll be there in just a second.
- 好 好好好 - 明白
- Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah. - All right.
我该走了 至于你嘛?
I gotta go, but you know what?
想呆多久呆多久 我完事给你打电♥话♥ 好吗?
Hang out here as long as you like and I'll call you afterwards, okay?
- 我不能和你一起走吗? - 不 我不想他们看到你
Can't I just leave now with you? No, I don't want them to see you.
- 这些额外规程... 真是太怪了 - 我知道 但我可是副总统
All these extra rules... it's kind of weird. I know, but I am the vice president.
噢 对 你当然是
Oh, yes, you are.
听到你这麽说就让我性致勃发呢
Hearing you say that gives me a massive hard-on.
噢 我的确是副总统
Oh. I am the vice president.
噢 宝贝 我准备吃午餐了
Oh, baby, I'm ready to launch.
我准备吃你了
And I'm ready to eat you up.
噢 早上第二回 没想到你有这能耐呢
Oh, second breakfast. I didn't know you had it in you.
噢 老天 我真想水乳♥交♥融
Oh, God. Oh, I want it in me.
- 行了 - 拜
- All right. - Bye.
我要好好欣赏你的翘臀
Yeah. I'm gonna watch your ass move. Yeah.
- 嗨 伙计们 - 嘿
- Hi, you guys. - Hey.
- 你气色不错 - 噢 谢谢
- You look pretty. - Oh, thank you.
- 你们怎麽样? - 很好
- How are you guys? - Great.
- 准备好了? 都带齐了? - 噢 是的
- All set? You got everything? - Oh, yes.
- 我去拿点东西 - 你周六晚过得如何?
呃 还不赖
- I just have to get my stuff. - How was your Saturday night? Um, it was fine.
- 我帮你开 - 谢谢
- Here, I'll get that. - Thank you.
- Mike! - 噢 嘿
- Mike! - Oh, hey.
只是在想象你在"会见新闻界"上的完美发挥
Just visualizing you kicking ass on "Meet the Press."
你怎麽这麽累的样子? 你啥都没干
Why are you so tired? You don't do anything.
这是Scott对Chung的调查
Here's the research Scott pulled on Chung.
注意第一页
Check out page one.
他生于中国 然后他父亲才得到国籍
He was born back in China before his dad got his citizenship,
所以他不可能当总统或副总统
so he can't be president or vice president.
- 真的? 真是个好消息 - 嗯哼
- Really? - Mm-hmm. Well, that's good news.
- "会见新闻界"还有更多好消息 - 噢 真的?
- More good news for "Meet the Press." - Oh, yeah?
David Gregory生病了
David Gregory is ill.
- Sam Finnegan补缺 - 哈哈 雏儿一个
- Sam Finnegan is the fill-in. - Ho ho, a virgin.
我要把他吃干抹净了
Oh, God, I'm gonna eat him up.
怎麽了?
What?
- 那样体育话题就要改变了 - 别紧张
- Well, that changes the sports stuff. - No panic.
我们只需把红人改成Finnegan支持的球队
We'll just change the redskins to whatever Finnegan's team is.
- Finnegan支持哪个队? - 我确信他是芝加哥熊的粉丝
- What is Finnegan's team? - I'm pretty sure he's a Bears fan.
- 确信? - Mike 你确信? 那可帮不上忙
- Pretty sure? - Mike, you're pretty sure? Exactly. That doesn't help.
没关系 你要聊的是乌鸦队
It doesn't matter because you're gonna talk about the Ravens.
我知道我是乌鸦球迷
I know that I'm a Ravens fan,
但万一Finnegan也是乌鸦球迷呢 你明白吗?
but, like, what if Finnegan is a Ravens fan, too, you know?
- 一支队伍可玩不起来 对吧? - 电子游戏里就可以
A team can't play itself, can it? You can in video games.
有人说你的移♥民♥政策
Some people say your immigration policy
取决于你的就业计划
is at odds with your jobs program.
- 对此你怎麽回应? - 我会如此回应...
How would you respond to that? Well, I would respond like this...
我会说经济在我当初声明之后
I would say that the economy has changed a great deal
已经有明显转变 总统和我都同意
since I made those statements and the president and I agree
美国公民理当优先
that Americans have to come first.
干得好 完美的太极推手
That's my girl. Olympic-style backflip.
我强烈相信...
And I believe very strongly...
- 那是汗 人中的汗 - 那是反光
- That's sweat. That's lip sweat. - That's shimmer.
你今天没有怎麽提到 参议院革除"冗长辩论"计划
You haven't spoken much today about the Senate filibuster reform.
我这麽说吧... 要想做出变革
Well, I'll say this... in order to reform,
就要有所行动
you have to perform.
- 她把话题引到冗长辩论了! - 等Jonah 打来了
She got the filibuster in! Just waiting for Jonah. Here he is.
- 噢 真的? - 您好 男性外生殖器增大诊所
Oh, yeah? Hello, penis enlargement clinic.
Mike 到底是谁的失职 你还是她?
Mike, who is incompetent, you or her?
她现在说的可是革除"冗长辩论"
Because she just talked about filibuster reform.
他自己问她的
He asked her.
我的意向很简单 我的意向就是... 同意
My message is simple, my message is this... Yes.
- 谢谢 副总统女士 - 不客气
- Thank you, madam vice president. - Absolutely.
Sam 我得问你一下... 你是熊队球迷
Sam, I just have to ask you... you're a Bears fan.
- 对吧? - 被你看穿了
- Is that right? - Guilty.
- 她提了体育话题没? - 她现在在说
- She do the sports yet? - She's doing it now.
我们一点也不担心 有Flacco... 万事安矣
We're not nervous at all. With Flacco... forget about it.
我赌瓶啤酒 我们触底得分赢得比赛
I'll bet you a beer that we win by a T.D.
那Ray Rice? 他的优势也很大 (与Flacco同爲乌鸦队员)
What about Ray Rice? Hell of a lead runner.
Ray Rice Ray Rice Ray...
这个 他 呃... Ray Rice 他打得不错
Well, he, uh... Ray Rice, he play nice.
- 副总统 - 非常感谢
- Vice president. - Thank you so much.
我们下周再见
We'll be back next week,
因爲每逢周日 "会见新闻界"
because if it's Sunday, it's "Meet the Press."
你会看Danny Chung的"面对全国"节目吗?
Will you be watching Danny Chung on "Face the Nation"?
呃 我会的
Uh, you know, I would,
不过我还有牌局 所以我恐怕得跳过
but I've got a game of solitaire going on, so I think I'll give that a skip.
- 他掌管长♥期♥环城公路资金 很有总统潜力 - 噢 是吗?
Long-term beltway money's on him - as presidential material. - Oh, really?
那我会很吃惊的 严格说来他不算美国人
Well, I'd be surprised because technically he's not an American.
我是说 因爲他出生地不是这里
I mean, because he wasn't, um, born here,
不是因爲他是半个中国人...
you know, not because he's half Chine...
- 你懂的 因爲他的父母... - 我该走了
- You know, 'cause his parents... - Well, I've gotta go.
- 好吧 - 很荣幸能与你谈话
- Okay. - But it was a pleasure talking to you.
非常感谢 你弄好没?
Thank you so much. Did you get it?
- 搞定了 - 噢...
- I got it. - Oh...
他们没有录下 对吧? 我戴着麦克风 但我估计没开
Listen, they wouldn't have recorded that, right? I had the mic on, but I don't think it was hot.
- 你觉得它开着吗? - 我只能祈祷它没有
- Do you think that it was on? - I hope to God they didn't.
我没有说因爲他是半个中国人所以就是坏人
I didn't say he was bad because he's part Chinese.
- 没 没有 - 身爲中国人没什麽坏的
- No, no. - It's not bad to be Chinese.
- 你能和录音师谈谈吗? - 我不能 这样会显得小题大做
Can you go speak to the sound guy? I can't do it because it'll make it look like a thing.
我不可以小题大做
I don't wanna make it look like a thing,
- 也许我能... - 我来吧
so maybe I can... I'll do it.
不不不 Gary Gary
No, no, no. Gary, Gary, Gary.
- Gary Gary 过来 - 我去谈吧
Gary, come. - I'll do it.
- 我觉得他应该去和录音师谈谈 - 好吧
I think actually he should go talk to the sound guy. - Yeah. - Okay.
- 你知道我该怎麽说吗? - 你自告奋勇的 你没计划吗?
Do you have any ideas on what I should say? You offered to do this. What was your plan?
我的计划是过去了再见招拆招
My plan was to go over there and get some ideas on what to say.
Gary Gary 稍微提点一下就行
Gary, Gary, just give it a light touch.
- 别太深入 - 好
- No import to it. - Okay.
- 那是什麽意思? - 就和他聊聊
- What does that mean? - Just talk to him
同事和同事那种