副总统（2012）

石油公♥司♥气坏了
Well, oil was so pissed
我们竟然打算安排无足轻重的Chuck到特别小组
that we tried to put lightweight Chuck onto the task force
他们给总统施压 安排别人上位
that they forced the President to go with somebody else...
Sidney Purcell 操♥他♥妈♥的
Sidney Purcell. - Sweet hairy fuck.
我要和副总统聊聊
I need to speak to the Vice President.
好极了 非常感谢
That's great. Thank you so much.
飓风Selina 他们说可以改名
Hurricane Selina... they say they can change the name.
你逗我呢
You're kidding me.
这是天大的好消息 做得好
that is incredibly Great news. - Well done.
你要飓风改名?
You're changing the name of a hurricane?
是的 那会是我们的灾难
Yeah. And that would have been a disaster for us.
是的 自然如此 太吃惊了
Yeah, naturally. It's amazing.
你试图控制天气
You're trying to control the weather.
你可不是雷神
You are not fucking Thor, mom.
妈妈 我还是去做功课了
I'm just gonna go do my homework.
不 Catherine
No, Catherine, listen.
听着 这件事比你想得更复杂微妙
It a much more complicated and nuanced situation.
不 真的不是 你们这些应声虫从不会拒绝她么?
No, it's really not. Don't you yes-men ever say no to her?
他们当然会 是的 我们会
- Of course they do. - Yeah, we do. Yeah.
没错 好吧 你知道么?
- Exactly. - All right, you know what?
你有点失控了 跟我来
You're a little bit out of control.
失控? 是的
come with me. Yes. - out of control?
哎呦 不 别说哎呦 你知道这根本不痛
No, don't say ow. You know that didn't hurt.
进来 我要和你聊聊
Get into here. I need to talk to you for a second.
不是所有一切都围着你转
Not everything is always about you.
我知道不是 我知道
I know that everything isn't always about me. I know that.
你要飓风改名 妈妈
You're changing the name of a hurricane, mom.
就是这么办事的
This is how it works.
这是现实生活 一言难尽
This is real life. This is complicated.
这很微妙 微妙?
this is nuanced. - Nuanced?
你需要经验
You need experience.
妈妈 别他妈的像个政客一样和我说话
Mom, stop talking to me like a fucking politician.
我在努力 Catherine
I've been trying, Catherine.
我一整天都在努力和你聊天
I've been trying to talk to you this whole day.
聊什么? 任何东西
about What? - about everything.
我都不知道你有了新室友
I didn't even know that you had a new roommate.
还得他告诉我
What's-his-ass had to tell me.
我知道 Gary告诉你的
I know. Gary told you.
妈妈 你要做的就是开口问而已
All you have to do, mom, is ask.
说真的
Seriously.
好吧 这么做如何?
Okay. How about this?
听着 我们不打算让飓风改名了
Listen. We are not gonna change the name of the hurricane.
当然 谢谢 妈妈
- Sure. - Thank you, mom.
很抱歉我之前发火了
I'm sorry I got so upset before.
瞧她道歉了 不是问题
Look At Her apologizing. - Not a problem.
她会道歉是不是很好啊? 副总统女士
- Isn't she good to apologize? - Madam Vice President.
我们得聊聊 好的 有什么事?
We need to talk. - Okay. What Can I do for you?
你要把Chuck Furnham安排回特别小组
Well, you need to put Chuck Furnham back on the task force.
等等 我糊涂了 因为现在你求我
Wait, I'm confused, because now you're begging me
把当初要我从特别小组
to put back onto the task force
撤走的人 重新放回去
the same person you were begging me to take off of the task force.
当你大声说出来的时候 确实听上去...
When you say it out loud, you know, it does sound...
有点愚蠢
Kind of idiotic.
但是
Well, but it's
没目前的阻挠议案体系愚蠢
not as idiotic as the current filibuster system.
我可以想办法替你把Chuck Furnham 放回特别小组 没问题
I can find a way to get Chuck Furnham on the task force for you, no problem.
好极了 好极了
Super. - Super.
谢谢你 女士 那还用说
- Thank you, ma'am. - You betcha.
现在如何?
How about that?
好样的 Dan
Way to go, Dan.
第44条军规 他中招了 抱歉 (指陷入互相矛盾的境地)
Catch-44, he caught it. Pow! I'm sorry.
你们的人绿色产业小组都没问题了?
Are you guys all good on clean jobs?
Chuck Ham加入 还有什么?
Chuck ham is on and what?
还有Sidney Purcell会留下作为顾问
And Sidney Purcell will stay on as an advisor
非正式的职位
in an unofficial capacity....
好吧 勾掉 我们明天可以去领狗
All right. Tick it. - We Can pick up The dog tomorrow.
好极了
Oh, great!
抱歉 你们在说什么?
I'm sorry. What are you guys talking about?
我们要养条狗 没什么大事
We're getting a dog. It's no big deal.
为什么没人通知我这事?
Why wasn't I told about this?
为什么要通知你?
Why would you be told about that?
问题是 夫人 第♥一♥夫♥人♥目前正竭力想养一条狗
The thing is, ma'am, Flotus is currently procuring a canine for herself.
第一宠物狗 第一犬已经筹备了数周
The first dog, or F-dotus, has been planned for weeks.
我们不能允许你的狗风头盖过了第一犬
We simply can't allow the possibility that your dog will overshadow F-dotus.
别再说第一犬了 夫人 你必须杀了这只狗
- Stop saying F-dotus. - Ma'am, you need to kill the dog.
不是字面意思 但是 我的意思是 是的 如果到了这一步 那就是字面意思了
Not literally, but... I mean, yeah, if it comes to it, then literally.
不 杀了这只狗? 我们的狗 不 宝贝
- No! Kill the dog? Our dog? - No, honey.
Mike在哪 他在哪?
Where is Mike? Where is he?
又回去喂奶了
Back to his tits and dip.
你们真的要让这个长着强♥奸♥通缉犯样子的人
You guys, are we seriously gonna let the guy
指挥你们怎么做么?
with the police sketch face of a rapist tell us what to do?
这个强♥奸♥犯也许能进入8人团队
This rapist face gets eights.
你情我愿的 我也许能入选
Consensually, I might throw in.
我们为什么要灭了领狗新闻 我才刚刚宣布
Why are we killing the dog? I just announced it.
因为第♥一♥夫♥人♥要领狗 所以现在我不能领养了
Because the first lady is getting one, so now I can't get one.
为什么我不知道这件事 因为你太无能了
- Why don't I know this? - Because you're incompetent.
有个办法 Mike已经有了条狗
Here's an idea. Mike's already got a dog.
他有一整套装备 毛毯
He's got the whole setup for one... the blankets,
纸板箱 玩具球 所有的小玩具
the crate, the balls, all the little toys and stuff.
何不让他收下这条狗? 好主意
- Why doesn't he take the pooch? - That's a great idea.
不不 很好的解决方法 很好的解决方法
- Mm-mm, no, no. - Great solution. Great solution.
Simon是个雄性意识很强的狗
Simon is an Alpha male.
事实上我觉得这是个好主意
Actually, I think that is a good idea.
你们笑什么? 别说了 妈妈
- Why are you guys laughing? - Stop, mom.
说真的 Mike有一条虚构的狗
Seriously, Mike has a fake dog.
这里好像就你不知情
You're like the only one here who doesn't know that.
什么?
What?
是的 他借此逃避某些事情比如迟到挨批
Yeah, he uses it to get out of stuff like if he's late.
这就是所谓的牛头梗
It's called a shitbull terrier.
是胡扯帝 胡扯帝
- It's a bullshit-tzu. - Bullshit-tzu.
这是真的么 Mike?
Is this true, Mike?
这事有点难以收场了
It got a little out of hand.
你皮夹里放了一张照片 Mike
You carry a picture of it in your wallet, Mike.
我是谷歌♥搜索到的
I just got it from Google images.
我很抱歉夫人 我以为你知道 夫人
I'm sorry, ma'am. I thought you knew, ma'am.
不然我不会笑的 Gary知情?
Otherwise I would Not have been laughing. - Gary knew?
连他妈的Gary都知情? 好吧
Even fucking Gary knew? - Okay.
你要收下这条狗
You are getting the dog.
你要收下这条阴险的
You are getting this little rat-faced,
令人反感的 喜欢狗吠的小猎犬
repulsive, yappy, decrepit-looking terrier.
我真高兴你坦白了对
I'm glad that you were so honest
我选的这条狗的喜爱
about liking the one that I chose.
Catherine 我没有... 好吧 现在我要处理这件事了
Catherine, I didn't... okay, now I've got to deal with that situation.
所以真是太感谢了 Catherine
So thank you. Catherine.
也许现在我有真的借口了
Maybe I've got a real excuse now.
Sue的存在完全就是浪费 是的
- Sue's pretty wasted. - Yeah.
无可争议的第九人
And arguably a nine.
Sue. - Jonah.
你有空缺能让我上位么?
You got a convenient opening I can slide into?
为Jonah腾位置?
Open up a slot for Jonah?
这世上酒还不够多 Jonah
There's not enough alcohol in the world, Jonah.
你没说不行 不行!
- Didn't say no. - No!
嗨 夫人 要来一杯白葡萄酒么? 好的
- Ma'am, can I get you a glass of white wine? Okay. - Yeah.
Amy 你可以...
Amy, would you please...
把飓风的名字改了 已经做了
Get the hurricane name changed. Already done it.
很好
Good.
这个晚宴没有太失控 是么?
It's not too diva-like, this party, is it?
是的 我觉得我们的基调正合适
No, I think we got just the right tone.
是的 大家显然没有太享受
- Yeah. - People definitely aren't having too much fun.
好了 给你
Okay, here we go.
给你 谢谢