副总统（2012）

Can we not strategize in a closet?
好吧 我们要做的是慢慢走到车里 好吗
All right, what we're gonna do is we're gonna walk slowly to the car, okay?
但你们要围着我 煞有介事
But you guys surround me, very purposeful.
像人肉车队 - 没错
Like a human motorcade. - Exactly.
我们在讨论重要的事情 - 就像教皇
- We're discussing important things. - Like the pope.
拜托 - 走吧
- Come on. - Mike: Let's just roll.
微笑 要微笑 微笑 - 干得好
- And smile, though. Smile, smile. - Wonderful job.
微笑 我们要谈这事
Smiling. And we're gonna talk about that.
不够
It's not enough of a motor...
再来 再来 围住
surround me more, though. Surround it.
围着我 好的 好的
- Surround me. - Okay, I've got it. I've got it.
我得把帘掀起来因为静电会吸引灰尘
I need to keep these off your jacket 'cause the static attracts and retains dirt.
谢谢 Gary 让物理变得有趣起来了
Selina: Thank you, Gary. Making physics fun.
我们每耽误一分钟 拖沓就上升一个字号♥
Every minute that we delay, Retard goes up a font size.
那开始工作吧
Amy: Well, then start the process.
Mike 我们需要你值夜班
Mike, we're gonna have to have you pull an all-nighter.
不 不行 我养狗了
No, I can't. I've got the dog.
好吧 听着 Mike 你回家
Okay, listen. Mike, you go home.
喂狗 遛狗
Feed the dog. Walk the dog.
开枪把狗打死 埋了它
Shoot the dog. Bury the dog.
然后回来 好吗 - 狗自己能行
- And then come back in, okay? - The dog will be fine.
她一直想表现风趣幽默
She was trying to be funny.
我知道 可她不风趣 我当然知道
I know. She's not funny. Of course I know that.
不 不 不 那个她也没不行 不要
No, no, no. She won't be available for that, either. No.
我不能再拒绝你 我只好...
I can't say no to you again, so I'm just going to...
早晨好
Good morning.
看过这个吗
Seen this?
所有人都看过了吗 好好看过了吗
Everybody seen it? Everybody got a good look?
华♥盛♥顿♥邮♥报♥时尚版的头版
Front page of the style section of the Washington Post.
你是首席联络官 对吗
You're the head of communications, is that correct?
是的 女士 - 把衬衣塞进去
- Yes, ma'am. - Tuck your shirt in.
好吗 你的老二在裤子外边晃悠
Okay? Your dick is hanging out of your pants.
Sue 总统打电♥话♥来了吗
Sue, did the president call?
没有 - 没有
No. - No.
嘿 大家好 - 天啊
- Hey, everyone. - Oh, God.
今天早晨要应付什么烂摊子
Hey, what colossal fuckup are we dealing with this morning?
副总统把最后的雪豹干♥死♥了吗
Did the VEEP kill the last remaining snow leopard?
她用燃♥烧♥弹♥炸收♥容♥所♥了吗
Did she firebomb a hospice?
我没时间无视你 Jonah
I don't have time to ignore you, Jonah.
Gary 帮我无视Jonah好吗
Gary, could you please ignore Jonah for me?
你想怎么样 Jonah - 我有一张慰问卡
- What do you want, Jonah? - I have a condolence card
给Reeves参议员的遗孀
for senator Reeves' widow.
总统签了 需要副总统签字
POTUS has signed, the VPOTUS needs to sign.
然后我要把这个带到国会山
And then I'm gonna take this to the Hill, okay?
你说得好像是递交人♥权♥法案
You talk as if you're passing the civil rights act.
注意 - 帅哥 做什么呢
- Look alive, gang. - Hey, good-looking. What you got cooking?
老二派?
Dickwad pie?
Amy 这位是Paul Burton
Amy, this is Paul Burton. He's the chair
他是成人智障患者基金会的主席
of the American Foundation for Adult Mental Disabilities.
你好 - 很高兴见到你 我是Amy
- Hi. How are you? - Hi. It's nice to meet you. I'm Amy.
Burton先生 很高兴你能来我的办公室
Mr. Burton, love to bring you into my office.
谢谢 - 你知道我有自己的旗吗
Thank you. - Did you know that I have my own flag?
女士 有一张给Reeves参议员遗孀的慰问卡
Ma'am, I have a condolence card here for senator Reeves' widow.
Amy 你能...
Oh, Amy, can you...
Gary 两杯咖啡 - 好的
- Gary, we are going to need two coffees. - Okay.
不应该是三杯吗 - 两杯就行了
- Shouldn't that be three? - Two is good.
伙计们 有个男人死了
Uh, guys, a man is dead.
如果一个性骚扰犯死了 我们给他妻子一张签了名的卡片
When a sexual harasser dies, we sign his wife's card.
华盛顿风格一向如此
Okay? That's how Washington works.
我来签 - 好 谢谢
- I will sign it. - Fine, thank you.
她教我这么签她名字的
That was her telling me to sign her name.
如果她想签你的名字 她会这样
If she'd wanted me to sign your name, she would have done this...
我不懂
That didn't get me.
我是说 我错误判断了一些事
Selina: I mean, I misjudged things.
起码我会说我开错了玩笑
Fundamentally, I would say I misjoked.
我是说 如果我们真的要...
I mean, if we were gonna really be...
腹黑高鸟人
Ha-ha! Tall, dark and tiresome,
你得滚回到老板脚下去了
you need to get back to your boss's corner.
Hallowes也中枪了 有博客爆料称
Hallowes is on the ropes. She was reported by the blog
已故参议员Reeves和她有过一段不伦性史
saying that the late senator Reeves had a history of sexual misconduct.
知道吗 我不为Hallowes参议员工作了
Yeah, well, you know what? I don't work for senator Hallowes.
我一个小时前辞职的
I resigned just about an hour ago.
开什么玩笑 - 就在我泄密了那个故事以后
- Are you kidding me? - Yeah, right after I leaked that story.
你在谋划什么 - 什么
What are you planning? - What?
什么 - 什么
What? - What?
你能盯着他吗
Can you please keep your eye on him, please?
因为这太扯淡了 - 好的
- 'Cause this is shady shit. - Okay.
好的 Mike 我们这么做
All right, Mike, here's what we do, okay?
11点半的时候 你说Hallowes参议员
At the 11:30, you say that senator Hallowes
不仅污辱了已故参议员Reeves
not only insulted the late senator Reeves,
而且她煽动
but that she also encouraged...
不 等等 要加重语气 她鼓励
no, wait, strike that... she goaded
副总统在笑话中用拖沓这个词
the V.P. into using the word retard in a joke.
知道我在做什么了吗 Halowes参议员
See what I'm doing? Senator Hallowes
要为拖沓门负责
is responsible for retardgate.
你是那种故作聪明的人吗
Are you like a guy trying to be clever?
因为看起来像
'Cause you seem like a guy who thinks he's being clever.
好好看看我
Take a good look at me okay?
问问你自己 Mike
Now ask yourself something, Mike.
你眼前的这个人
Is the man you're looking at
在未来的一年内会
gonna be in a position a year from now
当你的老板还是手下?
working above you or below you?
很多年前你有的是踌躇满志
'Cause all ambition you had left your body a long time ago
在未来10年的工作生涯中 你所有的只是
and now all you've got left in the last 10 remaining years of your working life
潮湿的公♥寓♥ 冰冷的蟹饼
is a damp apartment, cold crab cakes,
还有一只隐形的狗
and an invisible fucking dog.
你到底想不想照这个计划执行
Do you want to follow this plan or not?
好好算算 哥们
Make a calculation, buddy.
Um...
你获得工科学士学位的时候 没学过怎么写新闻报道吗
In your poly-sci B.A., did you ever learn how to write a press release?
我想我听说过
I think I might have heard of that.
我会教你 - 好的
Let me teach you. - Okay.
Jonah走了吗
Did Jonah leave?
他拿着慰问卡走了吗
Is he gone with that condolence card?
是 他刚走
Yeah, he just left.
我想我签了我的名字
'Cause I think that I signed my name.
什么 - 不是Selina的名字 我的名字
- What? - Not Selina's name, my name.
好吧 好吧 等等
Okay, whoa, whoa. Okay, wait.
从1到10的肯定程度依次增加 你有多肯定
How sure are you on a scale of one to 10? Like one is the...
我知道这范围什么意思 Gary
Yeah, yeah, I can work out how the fucking scale will go, Gary.
呃...9 - 那就差不多是10了
- Uh, nine. - That's almost a full 10.
是 我签了我名字 - 父亲啊
- Yeah, I signed my name. - Oh, father.
看上去好像副总统根本不屑
It's gonna look like the VEEP couldn't be bothered to sign
给国会最受尊重的变♥态♥签慰问卡一样
a condolence card for one of the most respected perverts in the Senate.
如果我在写回忆录 其实没写
If I were writing a memoir, which I'm not,
但如果我写 这可是个大时刻
but if I were, whew, this would be a big moment.
不能让人知道
No one can know about this.
不能让她知道
- She cannot know about this. - Sue: Duh.
不 不 Gary Gary 你在做什么
- No, no, no, Gary! - Gary, what are you doing?
真的很抱歉 我要和你说点事
Gary: So sorry. I just need to tell you somethg.
搞毛啊 Amy
What the fuck, Amy?
我在里面想把两把火灭了
I am putting out two fires in there,
然后转过头发现
and I turn around to find out that you have set fire
你把消防车点着了
to the fucking fire truck.
抱歉 抱歉 抱歉
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
这个办公室里人员的不称职程度 简直到了天理不容的地步
The level of incompetence in this office is staggering.
我们会把卡拿回来
We are going to get the card back
换张新的
and replace it with a new one.
对 没错 - 很简单的
- Yeah, that's right. - Simple.
你去办
You're gonna get on it.
把这个搞定 好吗
You are going to shut this the fuck down, okay?