副总统（2012）

- How about that? - Yes.
我们刚才流失了革除"冗长辩论"的支持者
We just lost the numbers on filibuster reform.
- 你刚才说什麽? - 是的 是的
- What did you just say? - Yeah, yeah.
Doyle参议员刚刚收回对你的支持
Senator Doyle has just withdrawn his support.
因爲Amy在Chung的新书发布会上说的一些话
Something Amy said at Chung's book launch.
他还在爲绿色産业而生气
He was still upset about clean jobs,
这个是你的责任 Dan 因爲你把Sidney Purcell放到工作小组里了
which is on you, Dan, because you put Sidney Purcell on the task force.
是啊! 你知道吗? 我要怪的是乔治华盛顿!
Oh, sure! You know what? I blame George Washington.
如果不是他创立了现在政♥府♥的形式 那我们就不用...
If he hadn't started this whole form of government,
好吧 好吧 别吵了!
- then we wouldn't...- Okay, okay, stop squabbling!
我现在应该怎麽做?
What am I supposed to do now?
告诉我
Tell me that.
我应不应该给Doyle打电♥话♥求他回心转意?
I'm supposed to call Doyle and beg him to come back?
我是美国副总统 你们这帮大傻♥逼♥!
I'm the vice president of the United States, you stupid little fuckers!
应该是这些人来求我!
These people should be begging me!
这个门的高度应该减一半
That door should be half its height
这样来我办公室的人就得他♥娘♥的♥跪着了!
so that people can only approach me in my office on their goddamn, motherfucking knees.
我不能失去Doyle
I can't lose Doyle.
- 谁手里还有一把参议员? - 和Doyle划清界限吧 当他是在唬你
Who else has a bucketful of senators? Cut Doyle loose, all right? Call his bluff.
- 我们转换阵营去接触移♥民♥改革党团 - 什麽?
We reach across the aisle - to the immigration reform caucus. - What?
你想不想顺便摆脱大白人挑剔的形象 女士?
You want to break out the white, pointy hoods, too, ma'am?
听着 我们只要给他们党团几个承诺
Look, we throw them a few commitments to their cause
以此换取他们对革除"冗长辩论"的支持
in exchange for support on filibuster reform.
- 这很容易... - 呃
- This is easy. - Ugh.
你只要踏上了那条黑道 什麽幺蛾子都会有
Once you go down that dark country road, the lights go out and the scarecrows come to life.
有人想听班卓琴吗?
Yeah, anyone hear the banjo music?
听着 Mike 你老听那种音乐 是因爲你丫脑子被门板夹了
Look, Mike, that's what you always hear because mentally you're in a fuckin' hammock on a back porch.
- Dan 这可不是梦幻政坛 - 住口! 住口!
Dan, this isn't fantasy politics. Stop it! Stop it!
这对你来说既是参议院改革的胜利
This is a win for you on Senate reform
也是另一场对总统在移♥民♥政策上的胜利 对吧?
and it's also another big win for you with the president on immigration, all right?
大胜 大胜!
Win big, win big.
我不知道...也许你和Dan应该去和...
I don't know... maybe you and Dan should go down and talk to...
呃...我去...亚利桑那州参议员谈一谈
J... God damn it... the senator from Arizona.
就是那个想对穿披风的人随机搜查的那个
The one who wants to random search people in ponchos?
- 噢 Bill - O'Brien
- Oh, Bill. - O'Brien.
- 对 - 对
- Yeah. - Yeah.
他和那些白人至上党团老眉来眼去的
He's got a lot of sway with the pro-Caucasian caucus.
好吧 那我们有了O'Brien 他可以带来McCaulay和Cunliffe
All right, so we get O'Brien, who brings us McCaulay and Cunliffe.
McCaulay是那个鼻毛长得像 有浣熊住鼻孔里的那位麽?
Is McCaulay the one with the nose hair problem like he's got two raccoons in his nostrils?
那就是7票对Doyle的5票 那就是"冗长辩论"派的绝杀啊
That's seven to Doyle's five. I mean, this is a filibuster slam dunk.
- Chung在直播电视节目上 - 什麽?!
- Chung is on TV live. - What?!
- 快打开 快打开 - 遥控器呢?
- Get it on. Get it on. - Where's the remote?
在碗里 遥控器在碗里
It's in the bowl. The remote's in the bowl.
Sue 按按乐在哪里?
Sue, where's the clicker?
- 按按乐在哪里? - 同志们 在书柜里呢
- Where's the clicker? - Guys, it's in the credenza.
拿来 快 快 快
Get it. Quick, quick, quick.
- 什麽频道? 频道? - 直播的都行
- What channel? Channel? - Any live TV.
Mike...不 Mike 别碰那个遥控器 搞不好你要发射原♥子♥弹♥的
Mike... no, Mike. Don't touch that remote. You're gonna launch a nuke or something.
- Sue? - 这是关于今天早些时候评论所做的简单回应
- Sue? - A few brief words about the comments that were made earlier today.
尽管在互联网上有一些阴暗的流言
Despite what is said in some dark corners of the Internet,
但在我出生的时候
when I was born, both my parents
我的父母都是完全的归化美国公民
were fully naturalized American citizens.
什麽 他是他妈的美国队长吗?
What? He's Captain fuckin' America?
- 现在怎麽了? 干得好啊 Amy - 这不是...
- What's happening here? Good job, Amy. - It's not...
这不是Scott给我的信息
That is not the information I was given by Scott.
这说明了她手下职员调查技术的透彻性
A quiet word with one of her staff regarding the thoroughness of their research techniques.
到底Scott用的是什麽调查工具? 是他♥娘♥的♥苦力报告吗?
What did Scott use as a research tool, the fuckin' drudge report?
- 二代美籍华裔 - 那个加上卫生间的墙
Second-generation Chinese American... That and bathroom walls.
自豪到足以爲了这个国家抛头颅洒热血
Proud enough to risk my life for this country.
我胸前有一颗紫色的心
I've got a purple heart on my chest,
但在我胸腔里跳动的那颗 却是红白蓝色的
but the one that beats inside of me is red, white, and blue.
- 噢 不 他真说得出口 - 他抓住了机会
- No, he didn't. He didn't say that. - He is seizing his moment.
这也是爲什麽 这个国家是地球上最伟大的国家
And that's why this is the greatest country on earth.
我现在能吐出一条腿来
I am gonna throw up a leg.
然后我会捡起那条腿 用它打死Scott
And then I'm gonna take that leg and I'm gonna beat Scott to death with it.
- Scott! - 啊
- Scott! - Ah!
我会起草一封道歉信给明尼苏达之王 也就是Chung州长
I'm gonna go draft a letter of apology to the king of Minnesota, governor Chung.
现在我们要做的是 Mike 好好给Chung道歉
Here's what we're gonna do... Mike, big fat apology to Chung;
Amy 搞定Doyle 我要这一票
Amy, fuck Doyle. I want this bill.
你们去和O'Brien好好谈谈 拿下边境党团
You guys talk to O'Brien and get that border caucus.
- 好的 - Amy 穿上你的舞鞋 马上去边境
- Okay. - Amy, put on your dancing shoes and head for the border right now.
- 快去 - 不 我不去
- Go on. - No, I'm not doing it.
快点动起来
Get a move on.
- 他们来了 - 开始吧
This is them. Here we go.
你好 O'Brien参议员 我是Dan Egan 我们通过电♥话♥了 很高兴见到你 先生
Hi, senator O'Brien. I'm Dan Egan. We spoke on the phone. A pleasure to meet you, sir.
好吧 我不知道你是谁 所以我还不知道该不该高兴
Well, I have no idea who you are, so I don't know whether it's a pleasure or not.
- 好吧 - 这是Jack
- Okay. - This is Jack.
- 你好 Jack - 你好
- Hi, Jack. - Hi.
Amy Brookheimer 副总统的幕僚长
Amy Brookheimer, vice president's chief of staff.
长官? 应该是女长官吧?
Chief? Shouldn't that be chiefess?
别紧张 小姐 我只是开玩笑
Relax, missy. I'm just yanking your chain.
当然了
Absolutely.
这地方不错 不是吗?
This place looks nice, huh?
这里的牛小排好像很不错 但在我们点菜之前
Looks like they do a mighty fine plate of ribs, but before we do any ordering,
我想知道你们会不会说一些琐碎的事来扫兴
I'd like to know if you're going to offend us
如果是这样 我们就不用吃东西 直接走了
with some chickenshit deal that means we have to leave before the food comes.
尽管点菜吧
You're fine to order.
我感觉糟透了
I feel so horrible.
你知道吗 就像我下令解决某人
You know, it's like I've ordered a hit on somebody.
而现在只能等他们打电♥话♥告诉我任务完成了
I'm just waiting for the call to say that it's done.
任务完成
It's done.
你想来杯酒吗? 或者喝杯水? 或者...洗手液?
Do you want a glass of wine? You want some water? You want some hand sanitiz...
- 我需要安静 - 安静
- I want quiet. - Quiet?
再见 Scott 你的职业生涯到头了
So long, Scott. You are professionally dead.
祝你今晚愉快
Have a nice evening.
在上东区
Up here on the eastern seaboard,
人们很容易忘记 我们国家有很大一块地方
it's easy to forget what a big slice of our country rubs shoulders
还和一个名叫墨西哥的失败国家有来往
with a failed state by the name of Mexico.
听着 如果你有个糟糕的邻居 每晚都跑到你的院子里
Now, if you had bad neighbors who came into your yard every night
弄一些药和豆子在你的花上面
to crap a buttful of drugs and beans on your flowers,
你应该会考虑建一个围栏
you might think about building a fence.
我们不可能建边境围栏 好吗?
You're not gonna get a border fence, all right?
那可是一条3000英里长的围栏
You're talking about a 3,000-mile-long fence.
对建筑业来说是好事啊
Great for the construction industry.
是啊 但讽刺的是 我们只请得起移♥民♥工人来做这个
Yeah, but ironically, the only affordable option would be immigrant labor.
嗯 我的选民已经厌倦了
Well, my constituents are fed up
在自己的国家却感到寡不敌衆
with feeling outnumbered in their own country.
伙计们 在保持美国的特性这个问题上
Fellas, we shouldn't have a problem
我们不该有什麽问题
working to preserve a certain kind of American identity.
是啊
Yes.
亲爱的 如果你继续这麽说 晚餐结束以后我们还能一起抽雪茄
Now you keep talking like that, sweetheart, and we'll be having cigars at the end of this dinner.
只要不是古巴的就行
Just not Cuban ones.
天哪
Oh, my God,
- 今天真是糟透了 - 是吗?
- I am having the shittiest day. - Yeah?
- 有什麽能让我高兴的吗? - 确实有
You got anything to make me feel better? I do indeed.
- 什麽? - 嗯...
- What is it? - Well...
大概7英吋长 在我两腿之间...
It's about seven inches, hangs between my legs...
- 那玩意 - 我喜欢叫他Ted士官
The thing. I like to call him sergeant Ted.
好吧 你告诉Ted士官
Okay, well, you tell sergeant Ted
我希望他可以
I would like him very much
在我的椭圆办公室里训练我
to drill me in my oval office.
事实上 我希望他
In fact, I need him to put the finger
把手指放在扣子上
on the button
然后到我的玫瑰园里来
and come into my rose garden.
士官已经立正了
The sergeant is standing at attention.
你知道吗 我现在就过去 马上
You know what... I'm coming over there, like, right away.
呃 你来的时候能偷偷溜进来吗?
Uh, you know, when you come over, can you try and sneak in incognito?
我的韩国邻居不会乐意看到我和你约会的
I got Korean neighbors and I don't think they'd like the idea of me dating you.
这是玩笑还是什麽? 一点都不好笑 闭嘴 Ted
Is that some kind of a joke or something? It's not funny at all. Fuck off, Ted.
我不懂你爲什麽要说...
I mean, I don't know why you would s...
- 你在...你在打电♥话♥吗? - 嗯哼