副总统（2012）

- It just can't wait. - I have to take this.
我先走开一下 好的
will you excuse me? - Go ahead.
喂 对 嗨 总统先生
Hello? Yes. Hi, Mr. President.
供您参考 女士 其实总统没打电♥话♥
F.Y.I., ma'am, the President is not calling.
供你参考 Gary 废话少说 好
- F.Y.I., Gary, no shit. - Okay.
宣布Chuck的任命没 我在等最好的时机 好吧
- Is Chuck announced yet? - I'm waiting for the perfect time, okay?
你就像个...
You are like a...
耳垂...就在那里
Earlobe... you're just there,
摇摆不定
just wobbling.
Doyle就在那儿 我知道
Doyle is Right there. - I know.
现在说 我会的
do It now. - I will.
Doyle参议员 不要
Senator Doyle. - Stop.
Mike有话要说 如果您不介意的话
- Mike wanted a word, if you don't mind. - Mike McClintock.
最近好吗 对 先生 很好 先生
- You are well? - Yes, sir. Very good, sir.
噢 娘的 这蘑菇真好吃
Holy shit. These mushrooms are amazing.
你想说什么 Mike 肯定加了意大利奶酪什么的
- What is it, Mike? - Must be ricotta or something in there.
哦 真好笑 对啊
- That's funny. - Yeah.
真好 我喜欢幽默 对
- Goody, I love humor. - Yeah.
我这儿有个假设 嗯
I have a hypothetical for you. - Okay.
如果我们让Chuck Furnham 加入绿色产业小组 您觉得怎样
What would you say if we announced Chuck Furnham to the clean jobs task force?
Furnham? 对 Chuck
- Furnham? - Yeah, Chuck.
那就算副总统背叛了我们
Well, that would be a betrayal from the veep.
不一定吧
Not necessarily.
那我应该会把猿粪和蝙蝠屎混在一起
So I imagine that I would mix ape shit with bat shit,
用怨念举起它
raise it to a whole new level of fury,
然后撕了你的脸
then I'd probably rip your face off
拿你的眼窝做性玩具
and use your eye sockets as a sex toy.
就是个假设 跟你的一样
It's just a hypothetical like yours.
Chuck就是打了石油的标签而已
Chuck would just be token oil.
石油业以为他是特洛伊木马
Oil would think he's their trojan horse,
其实他是个空心马
he'd be a hollow horse.
也不算空心马 他还是特洛伊木马
Not a hollow horse. That's a trojan horse.
但是个特洛伊空心马 先生
He'd be a hollow trojan horse, sir.
你们承诺过不会有石油业的人
I was promised no one from oil.
Chuck不是石油业的 他去年退休了 对 从石油业退的
- Chuck's not oil. He retired a year ago. - Yeah, from oil.
现在 我他妈一定要去跟副总统聊聊 好吧
Now I fucking want to speak to The Vice President. - Okay.
飓风预告效果不错
Hurricane forecast is looking good,
您女儿刚刚也到达办公室了
and your daughter's just arrived at the office.
太好了 这是我们的暗号♥ Hallowes 飓风Hallowes
- Great, that's our cue. - Hallowes, hurricane Hallowes.
嗨 你好 Barbara 你好
Hi. Hello. - Barbara. Hello.
不好意思 Hallowes参议员
I am so sorry, Senator Hallowes.
总统打电♥话♥来了 噢 亲爱的 对不起
- The President is calling. - Oh dear. I'm sorry.
等我一下哦
Excuse me just for one second.
听着 在你打假电♥话♥的时候
Listen, while you take your fake phone call,
我应该可以把Dan偷来一下吧
is it okay if I steal Dan for a second?
或者说是偷回来?
Or should I say steal Dan back?
您能等一下吗
Could you hold on just one second?
知道吗 事实上 这个电♥话♥不是假的
You know what? Actually, this phone call is not fake.
Dan是个自♥由♥个体 他想去哪就去哪
And Dan is his own man. He can go wherever he wants.
好的 这边请Dan 让你等久了 总统先生
- Okay. This way, Dan. - I'm sorry to keep you holding, Mr. President.
知道什么是天后吗 那个才他妈是天后
You know who's a fucking diva? That's a fucking diva.
就是她
That one.
大学生活怎么样 挺好的
- So how's college? - It's good.
除开特勤处保卫人员什么的 我觉得自己...
You know, except for the whole secret service detail, I think I'm actually...
副总统办公室 开始融入进去了
- Office of the Vice President. - ...Starting to blend in.
不是 午餐时间当然是吃午饭
No, at lunchtime she eats lunch.
再见 选好新狗了吗
Good-bye. Have you chosen a new dog yet?
什么狗
What dog?
你妈妈要养狗 如果这还是秘密 我道歉
Your mom is getting a dog. Apologies if that was a secret.
副总统办公室
Office of the Vice President.
你发短♥信♥甩了我女儿 连个道歉都没
You dumped my daughter by text and didn't even apologize.
没 我道了 我打了个苦脸表情
No, I did. I signed off with colon open brackets.
听着 Selina真准备用Chuck Furnham 来安抚石油业游说团吗
Listen, is Selina really trying to appease the oil lobby with Chuck Furnham?
我猜Chuck可以看做是一种手势 -
I suppose Chuck could be viewed as a gesture.
Chuck就是这种手势
Chuck is a gesture all right.
知道石油业怎么叫他的吗
Do you know what these oil wise guys call him?
叫他 谁他妈是Chuck Furnham
They call him who the fuck is Chuck Furnham?
Chuck Furnham本来是12:15来的 但是他12:00就到了
Chuck Furnham's at 12:15. Now he's at 12:00.
现在他在这儿
Now he's here.
副总统女士 Chuck 你好吗
Madam Vice President. - Chuck!How are you?
他们说我会加入绿色产业
I was promised movement on the clean jobs.
对的 就我俩知道哦 我们可能
Yes. Between us, we might possibly
会在今天宣布你的任命
make your announcement today.
好 好 是啊 好
Yes. Yes. - Yes. right.
太好了 噢 天
Fantastic. - My.
谢谢 女士 还有
- Thank you, ma'am. - And, you know,
我一见到他们就有这个想法了
I've been thinking ever since I saw them,
你的孙子 Marion和… Richard.
your grandchildren, Marion and... - Richard.
对 Richard 我这儿有副总统牌m&ms豆 (巧克力豆)
Yes, Richard. And I have some vice presidential M&Ms
想送给他们
that I would love for them to have.
看到这个印♥章♥了吗 我们这还要一盒
You see the seal right there? Except we'll need another one
有两个孙子呢
because there are two grandchildren.
没了 没了?
- I'm out. - You're out?
没了 噢 哼 真遗憾
- I'm out. - Well, that's a shame.
不知道为什么会这样 好吧
I don't know how that happened. Okay.
太感谢你了 不用谢
- Thank you so much. - You're so welcome.
醒醒吧 Dan 这是石油业
Wake up, Dan. This is oil.
你一旦任命Chuck Furnham
You nominate Chuck Furnham, and these guys
他们就会拿把铲子铲掉他的头
will fucking take his head off with a shovel.
Selina得换个人
Selina needs to find somebody else.
你喜欢这儿 我很高兴
I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.
Carol Hallowes 嗨
Carol Hallowes, hi.
噢Reeves夫人 对于您的失夫之痛 我很遗憾
Mrs. Reeves, I am so sorry for your loss.
您丈夫是个有力的竞赛者
Your husband was a massive player.
当然 是从政♥治♥上说
Politically speaking, of course.
我叫Jonah
I'm Jonah.
我在白宫工作... 你还好吧 女士
- I work at the White House. - Are you okay, ma'am?
噢 对不起 我都没意识到 你还好吧
I'm sorry. I didn't even realize. Are you okay?
你能帮我拿杯水来吗
Could you please get me a glass of water?
可是 这里没服务员啊 至少我没看见
You know what? There aren't any waiters, at least that I've seen.
Jonah 你能帮她拿杯水来吗
Jonah, would you please get her a glass of water?
当然 当然了
Absolutely. Of course. Of course.
我以为脱水了就没眼泪了
I guess all those tears must be dehydrating.
我不这么觉得
I don't think it works like that.
我还是去拿水吧 好吗
You know, I'll just get the water, okay?
你♥他♥妈♥的寡妇
Cock-blocking widow.
Doyle参议员否定了Chuck
Senator Doyle went black swan over Chuck.
他说我们承诺过不要石油业的
He says we promised him no oil.
我对Chuck说任命今天会下来
I implied to Chuck that we would announce today.
该死 他有可能老得不记得了么
Shit. Is he senile enough to forget?
嘿 嘿 Hallowes怎么说
How was Hallowes?
Dan 嗨 我讨厌Chuck Furnham
Dan, hi. I hate Chuck Furnham.
等等 什么
Wait, what?
对 她还预言了石油业所有的激烈反应
Yeah, she's predicting all kinds of backlash from oil.
为什么石油业会不喜欢Chuck Furnham
How could oil not like Chuck Furnham?
因为他还不够油 噢
He's not oily enough....
没关联的 一切我们喜欢他的理由 他们都讨厌
Unconnected. For all the reasons that we loved him, they hate him.
所以我们现在同时有两个两难抉择了
Okay, so now we have two catch-22 situations simultaneously.
不会还有专门说这种情况的词吧
Is there even a name for that?
四难抉择怎么样
- How about catch-44? - Gary.
好吧 我去找石油业说客聊聊
Okay, I'm gonna run it by an oil lobbyist.
Sidney Purcell就在那儿 噢 真好
- Sidney Purcell is right there. - Oh, good.
去吧 Amy 上 好
- Do that, Amy. Go. - Okay.
大部分庆典照片都要拿走
Well, most of the party photos need to be removed.
我不知道 用你的直觉
I don't know. Use your instincts
眼睛 然后还有手跟胳膊
and your eyes, then your hands and arms. Thank you.
谢谢 我妈妈养狗这个决定真好
It's really nice that my mom's getting a new dog.
我一直想养狗
I always wanted a dog.
嘿 Catherine 你还要咖啡吗 还是...
Catherine, you want some more coffee?
不用 我还在喝这杯
No, I'm still drinking this one.
其实 你不用招待我的