直言真相（2019）

怀我女儿四个月时就什么都穿不下了
Once I got to four months with my daughter, nothing fit.
-所以… -你很幸运
-So… -You're lucky.
谢谢你的礼物 但有什么能帮你的吗
Well, I appreciate the gifts. But how can I help you?
这是马库斯在避风港的工作要约
These are the offer papers for Markus at Shelter.
这…
This is--
条件很好啊
This is generous.
他值这个身价
He's worth it.
我担心他会拒绝 因为一些…
I'm just afraid he's gonna throw it all away because of some…
对波比的忠心
devotion to Poppy.
我和波比最近关系闹僵了 我仍抱有希望
Poppy and I had a falling-out, and I remain hopeful
但是目前感觉无法挽回
but at the moment, it feels irreparable.
马库斯拒绝了吗
Did Markus turn this down?
还没有
Not yet.
谢谢你的礼物 谢谢你的坦诚
Thank you for the gifts. Thank you for your honesty.
我在婚姻中不会替伴侣做决定
I don't back-door in my marriage.
我尊重这一点
I respect that.
但这份工资是他之前的两倍
But this is twice his old salary.
六个月的产假 还让他有机会建立自己的保安队伍
Six months paternity leave, an opportunity for him to create his own security detail.
好吧 米卡
Okay. Micah.
波比离开了她的丈夫
Poppy left her husband.
她要离婚了
She's getting a divorce.
我需要马库斯 他让我很有安全感 这是很难做到的
I need Markus. He makes me feel safe. That is not easy.
我们可以互相帮助
We can help each other out.
怎么帮
How?
这份要约基于他只在避风港工作
That proposal is predicated on his exclusivity to Shelter.
不能做其他工作
No outside work.
不能和波比合伙
No partnership with Poppy.
考虑一下吧
You think it over.
安全 罗林斯不在这里
All clear here. No sign of Rollins.
收到了
10-4…
收到 这就回来
Copy that. Heading in.
你想过我们被捕那天晚上 警♥察♥是怎么找到我们的吗
You ever wonder how the cops found us the night we were arrested?
我们当时太年轻
We were young.
经验不足
Amateurs.
我们被捕几周前
A few weeks before we were arrested,
他们在米卡闯入学校时抓到了她
they caught Micah breaking into the school.
只给了她个警告就把她放了
They let her off with a warning.
接下来 两周后 我们被当场抓获
Then, two weeks later, we get caught red-handed.
她自己也被抓了 和我们一样
She got picked up. Same as we did.
但她从未被起诉
But never charged.
你还不明白吗 是她举报了我们
Aren't you getting it yet? She set us up.
-你去死吧 -说我们参加了
Fuck you.
某个盗窃团伙
Claimed we were in some sort of a burglary ring.
你和我 所以我们才入狱的
You and me. That's how come we went to jail.
你为了保护她杀过人
You have killed people to protect her.
如果你碰我 我就尖叫
If you touch me, I will scream.
警♥察♥就在外面 记得吗
Cops right outside, remember?
而且他们在找你
And they're looking for you.
你和米卡
You and Micah.
从来都不知道什么叫界线
Neither of you ever had any good boundaries.
人们不知道界线时 就会受到伤害 现在你懂了
People get hurt when they don't know where the lines are. Now you know.
-米卡… -不许说她的名字
-Micah-- -Stop saying her fucking name!
她当时没有保护你 现在也不会
She didn't protect you then. She won't protect you now.
你感觉到了 我说得没错吧 我能看出来
You feel it? You feel it's true? I can see it.
你打算怎么办
What are you gonna do, huh?
你打算怎么办 杀了我
What are you gonna do? Kill me?
动手吧
Go ahead.
继续收拾她的烂摊子
Keep cleaning up her messes.
嗨 小虫舅舅
Hey, Uncle Bug.
嗨
Hey.
波比 你好吗 有什么书
What's up, Popgun? What you got?
还有什么
What else we got in here?
我已经不想读有关越战的书了
I don't wanna read about Vietnam anymore.
好吧 你想读什么书
Okay. What would you like?
拿破仑的
Napoleon.
见到你很高兴
Well, it's good to see you.
我常常能见到你
Well, I see you all the time.
巴士上、公告牌上、无线电波上的声音
Buses, billboards, voice on the airwaves.
你是人们关注的焦点
You're the talk of the town.
不知道这是好事还是坏事
Don't know if that's a good or bad thing.
你和朋友吵架了
You and your friend are fightin'.
不仅仅是吵架
It's more than that.
她要求见面
She asked to meet.
想和好 在她说过那么多谎言之后
Wanted a truce. After all she lied about.
永远不要去你认为敌人不敢去的地方找她
You never look for an enemy where you think she's too scared to go.
小虫舅舅 我想问你
Uncle Bug, I wanted to ask you…
妈妈死后 老爸为什么 要送我去雪莉小姐那里
After Mama died, why did Daddy send me to Miss Shirley?
他为何不把我送到你这
Why didn't he send me with you?
我这哪有地方住啊
To live where?
你知道雪莉小姐的事吗
Did you know about Miss Shirley?
所有人都知道
Everybody knew.
黛丝里和赛迪当时在乐土公园区 玩扮装游戏、举♥行♥茶话会
Desiree and Cydie were playing dress-up and having tea parties in Elysian Fields.
为什么我不行
Why not me?
我到底有多大问题 以至于让我被抛下了
What was so wrong with me that I got left behind?
你记住的都是情绪 而不是事实
You're remembering emotions, not facts.
你可曾问过她们在那边生活是怎样的吗
You ever asked them what it was like up on them hills?
没得比 这我确定
It can't compare, I'm sure.
-我变得很脆弱… -你挺过来了 对吗
-It left me vulnerable to-- -You survived, right?
我忍♥过来了
I endured.
但我心中有些东西没挺过来
But not every piece of me survived.
住进雪莉小姐家中的那个小女孩
The little girl that went into Miss Shirley's house
离开时已经变了一个人
is not the same one that came out.
嗨
Hey.
喂 寄宿看护机构的戴安娜联♥系♥了我
Yo. Heard from Diane at the board and care.
-是吗 -她告诉我说
-Yeah? -She told me that
霍特罗林斯就是那位被禁的访客
Holt Rollins was the banned visitor.
第二位访客呢
And the second visitor?
乔希亚基思
Joshua Keith.
乔希在被谋杀前六个月去见了露丝
Josh went to see Rose six months before his murder.
我们必须找到她 马库斯
We have to find her, Markus.
是的 必须的 但怎么找
Yes, we do, but how?
罗马人有一句老话 “memoria praeteritorum bonorum”
The Romans used to speak of "memoria praeteritorum bonorum."
大致意思是 “过去的事永远会被人们牢记”
Roughly translated, this means, "The past is always well-remembered."
这是心理学家所说的一种现象 玫瑰色的回顾
It's a phenomenon psychologists refer to as rosy retrospection.
即人们回忆往事时往往把过去想得太好
A tendency to disproportionately positively remember the past.
这个想法是假设 你有一个值得被浪漫化的过去
This idea assumes you have a past worth romanticizing.
但那些从小到大经历创伤的人呢 或经历贫困的人
But what of those born and bred in trauma? Scarcity?
他们有什么回旋余地来反思自己的过去
What leeway are they afforded to reckon with their past?
露丝吉尔这一生大部分时间 都遭到社会遗弃
For most of her life, Rose Gil was erased by society.
（露丝吉尔）
她流落街头长达20多年 没有一个真正的家
She spent over 20 years living on the streets without a real home.
就像米卡恰如其分地形容的那样 是一名“弃子”
She was, as Micah so aptly coined, "a discard."
露丝吉尔在乔希亚基思死前仅几个月 曾和他见过面
Rose Gil met with Joshua Keith mere months before his death.
那一刻令二人的行为都发生了剧变
A moment that incited a dramatic change in both of their behavior.
接下来 她从唯一照顾过她的地方逃走了
She then ran away from the only place that ever looked after her,
那时距乔希亚基思遇害仅有两天
just two days before Joshua Keith was murdered.
只有一个人确切地知道 这些事件之间的联♥系♥
Only one person knows for certain how those events are related.
那个人就是你 露丝
That person is you, Rose.
我不是你的法官、陪审团或行刑者
I'm not your judge, jury or executioner.
如果你听到这期播客 露丝 请一定要联♥系♥我
If you hear this, Rose, please, please contact me.
我愿意向你提供这个平台 让你不再被社会遗弃
I offer you this platform so that you are no longer erased.
无论你做过什么 经历过什么
Whatever you've done, whatever's been done to you,
让《重新考虑》成为一个安全场所 在这 你可以用自己的话讲述你的故事
let Reconsidered be a safe place to tell your story in your words.
我是波比帕内尔 希望大家能够重新考虑
My name is Poppy Parnell, and I'd like you to reconsider.
波比
Poppy!
-是 -我们有麻烦了
-Yeah? -We got a problem.
《湾区早间新闻》 正在播出米卡基思的新闻
Bay Morning is airing a segment on Micah Keith.
那又如何 我们早知道 宣传公♥关♥的消息会出现的
So? We knew a puff piece was coming.
嘿
Hey.
不是公♥关♥ 而是愤怒 针对你的
Less puff, more huff. At you.
米卡基思