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- will you take your dresses inside for me, please. - Yes.
谢谢 非常感谢
Thank you very much. Appreciate it.
我去看看凯文那边有没有要帮忙的
I'm gonna go see if Kevin needs anything.
我爱你
I love you.
你是准备永远都像21岁一样吗
So, you're just gonna, like, look 21 forever?
-你喜欢那样吧 -看看是谁说的这话
- That's your thing? - Look who's talking.
你生完两个孩子身材还那么好
You got no right to still have that body after two kids.
-你好吗 -我很好
- Oh, you good? - Oh, I'm good.
是吗 那我不用去芝加哥打某人屁♥股♥了
Yeah? I don't have to come to Chicago and whup nobody's ass?
-这周不用 -好的
- Not this week. - Okay.
谢谢你能来参加婚礼
Thank you for doing this wedding, lady.
你的家人就是我的家人
Hey, any family of yours is mine, right?
我真是太爱你了
This is why I love you.
就是她吗
Is that her?
我慢慢跟你说
I'll tell you all about it.
当然希望是在喝香槟之后
Hopefully, over champagne.
很多的香槟
Lots of champagne.
好了 这就是我能在小屋里
All right, here it is, everything old of Dad's
找到的所有能代替爸爸T恤的旧物
I could find around the cabin to replace the T-shirt.
所以你是想她拿着咱们的棒球棍
So you want her to walk down the aisle
走上红地毯了
with our old baseball bat.
真是太浪漫了
That's romantic.
你说得对 简直太糟糕了
Yeah, you're right-- this is a disaster.
糟糕透顶了 我们要怎么做
A total disaster, man. How are we gonna do...
看看啊 新娘来了
Hey! Look, it's the bride!
我们精心挑选了一些"旧物"供你选择
Uh, so we rounded up a few "Something old" options for you
-对 -来代替那件T恤 怎么样
- Yeah. - to replace the T-shirt. What do you think?
绝佳的选择
Terrific options.
谢谢 但我不需要这些东西
Thank you. But I don't need any of this stuff.
-我有新计划 -什么意思 新计划
- I have a new plan. - What do you mean, new plan?
什么 你要去哪 妈妈一会儿就到了
What... Where are you going? You know, Mom's gonna be here
还有伴娘们 她们随时都会开始
with the bridesmaids, they're gonna do
做造型 化妆
hair and makeup any minute now.
-好吧 我很快回来 -我来啦
- Okay. I'll be back soon. - Hello, hello.
宝贝
Bug!
新婚快乐 亲爱的
Happy wedding day, sweetheart.
我要出去办件事
I'm just running an errand.
就不能让别人替你去办吗
Can somebody not run the errand for you?
我马上回来
I'll be back.
我是说错什么话了吗
Did I say something wrong?
你说了"新婚快乐 宝贝"
You said, "Happy wedding day, Bug."
今天就是婚礼啦 小贱♥人♥们
It's wedding day, bitches!
我还以为这间屋子里
I thought this room would be, like,
-都是姑娘 -不是
- filled with women. - No.
凯特呢
Where is Kate?
经典口味
欢迎光临手工冰淇淋
Welcome to Artisanal Scoops.
要不要试试我们的新口味
Would you like a sample of our new flavor?
是薰衣草香的
It's lavender balsamic.
不了 谢谢
Um, no. Thanks.
我过去经常跟我爸爸来这里
I used to come here with my dad.
我记得之前这里叫法朗奇 还是...
I think it was called Frenchie's back then, or...
是的 几年前他们把这家店卖♥♥了
Oh, yeah. They sold the place a couple years ago.
那你们现在还有做
Any chance you guys are still making
香蕉布丁口味的吗
that banana pudding flavor?
不做了 抱歉
No. I'm sorry.
那是我爸爸的最爱
It was my dad's favorite.
我今天结婚
I was gonna buy it today
本来准备买♥♥那个配上蛋糕
to serve with the cake at my wedding.
不是什么"老旧"的东西
Not exactly something old,
但也是一种传统
but an old tradition.
我们有香蕉椰子味的
Hey, we do have banana coconut.
味道也很不错 是我的最爱之一
It's really good. It's one of my favorites.
不用了 谢谢
No. Thanks.
只是那样...
It just wouldn't...
不会有任何意义
mean anything.
但还是谢谢
But thanks.
在我和杰克有自己的公♥司♥
So, long before Jack and I had our own company,
以及这三个小家伙出生之前
and long before the Big Three were around,
我在一家酒吧驻唱
I was singing in a bar...
然后一个男人走了进来
when a man walked in.
*我被那月影紧紧跟随*
*I'm bein' followed by a moonshadow*
*月影 月影*
*Moonshadow, moonshadow*
*纵身跃上月影*
*Leapin' and hoppin' on a moonshadow*
*月影 月影*
*Moonshadow, moonshadow*
*假若我失去了双手*
*And if I ever lose my hands*
*假若我丢失了北斗 失去我的手*
*Lose my plough, lose my land*
*假若我失去了双手*
*Oh, if I ever lose my hands, oh...*
这里是什么情况 兰德尔
What is going on in here, Randall?
我都不知道凯特找了群专业的模特
I did not know that Kate hired professional models
来当她的伴娘
to be her bridesmaids.
我想是的 小凯 因为这间屋子里
I think she did, Kev, 'cause this room's
-都是标准的模特 -没错
- full of a whole lot of damn. - Yeah, it is.
-看我们拿了什么 -谢谢
- What do we got? - Thank you.
-你的 -我们带了礼物
- For you. - We brought gifts.
-尝尝看 -妈妈
- Don't even try. - Mom?
我刚又给她打过电♥话♥ 她手♥机♥肯定关机了
So, uh, I just tried her again, and her phone must be off,
因为直接转到了语♥音♥信箱
'cause it went straight to voice mail.
-我们应该去找找她 -去哪找
- We should go look for her. - Where?
我有个主意
I have an idea.
我是首席伴娘 我应该帮着一起找
I'm maid of honor. I should help search.
-首席伴娘 -凯特不是说
- Maid of honor. - Oh. I thought Kate said
她不需要首席伴娘
she didn't have a maid of honor.
可能她只是随便一说 并不是真心的
Well, maybe she said that, but she didn't mean it.
-我们可以... -不了
- We could... could, you know... - No.
-真的吗 -是的 我们可以
- Really? - Yeah. We're good.
-谢谢 -谢谢
- Thank you. - Thank you.
好吧
Okay.
-天啊 她疯了吧 -是的
- Oh, man. She's crazy. - Yeah, man.
别让我跟她睡觉
Don't let me sleep with her.
所以现在我们就等法庭宣判了
So now we're waiting for the courts to
终止她作为母亲的抚养权
terminate her mom's parental rights
这样我们就可以合法收养她
so that we can legally adopt her.
但她已经彻底变成一个恶梦
But she has turned into a complete nightmare.
她甚至一句话都不对我讲
I can barely get a sentence out of her.
而且我敢肯定 她打算穿
And I'm pretty sure she's wearing
-那件运动衫参加凯特的婚礼 -是啊
- that sweatshirt to Kate's wedding. - Yikes.
你想让我跟她聊聊吗
You want me to try talking to her?
怎么 你现在是叛逆儿童的知心朋友吗
What are you, like, the angry kid whisperer now?
只是我以前也是个叛逆儿童
Only 'cause I used to be the angry kid.
不敢相信我们跟她错过了
Can't believe we missed her.
天啊 这个榛子酱冰淇淋太好吃了
God, this Nutella chip is insane, huh?
非常好吃
Ridonkulously good.
简直太好吃了
This is just so good.
别把冰淇淋滴到我的车里...
Do not drip ice cream in my car...
不会的 我不会滴在你车里 好吗
I'm not. I'm not gonna drip ice cream in the car, okay? It's...
我明白 你爱这辆车 你是用现金买♥♥的
I understand. You love the car. You bought it for cash.
-谢谢 -我们要去哪儿
- Thank you. - Where are we going?
不知道
No idea.
这件事很严重 兰德尔 这件事很严重
This is a disaster, Randall. This is huge.
我们在婚礼当天把新娘弄丢了 好吗
We lost the bride on the wedding day? All right?
就像最亲近的人却不适合做婚礼策划
That's, like, the number one don't for wedding coordinators.
是啊
Yeah.
我和贝丝有时候会玩个游戏
You know, Beth and I play this game sometimes,
"最糟糕状况"
worst-case scenario.
就是把我们害怕的所有情况大声说出来
It's where we say all the things that we're afraid of out loud,
这样会让我们感觉好一点 你要玩吗
and it makes us feel better. You know?
-好的 我奉陪 -好的
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm down. - Okay.
我们找不到凯特
We never find Kate
然后不得不告诉托比 婚礼取消了
and we have to tell Toby that the wedding's off
他遭受巨大打击 心脏病发作去世了
and he's so shocked that he has a heart attack and dies.
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