to regulate its internal environment
并维持其属性在一个常规的状态下
and maintain a constant condition of properties
就好像温度或酸碱度
like temperature or pH.
史上最烂的床边故事
Worst bedtime story ever.
我想说的是
My point is
我不喜欢事物发生变化
I don't like when things change.
所以无论你心里想什么
So, regardless of your feelings,
我希望你能跟莱纳德保持现状
I would like you to continue dating Leonard.
还有
And also,
说到改变 你最近换了不同味的洗发精
while we're on the subject, you recently changed your shampoo.
我不喜欢这个新香味
I'm not comfortable with the new scent.
麻烦别瞎换 用回青苹果味的
Please stop this madness and go back to green apple.
好吧 宝贝 我有很多事情琢磨
Okay, honey, I have a lot to figure out,
但在我想清之前 你不许告诉莱纳德一个字
and until I do, you are not to say a word to Leonard.
-明白了吗 -明白
- Do you understand? - I do.
-那洗发精的事情你明白了吗 -快滚
- You clear on the shampoo issue? - Get out.
-佩妮 -干嘛
- Penny? - What?
拜托不要伤害我的朋友
Please don't hurt my friend.
-这是我最不想做的事情 -谢谢
- That is the last thing I want to do. - Thank you.
椰子味 你想什么呢
Coconut? What were you thinking?
-你又不是跳草裙舞的 -快滚回家
- Are you a hula girl? - Get out!
你好
Hello?
你是怎么想的 居然告诉谢尔顿
What the hell is wrong with you? You told Sheldon?
你知道你把我置于一个多糟糕的处境吗
Do you know what a terrible position this puts me in?
等下
Hang on, please.
你好
Hello?
提醒你一下
Yeah, just a heads-up:
佩妮知道你泄露了关于莱纳德的事
Penny knows that you blabbed about Leonard.
她气疯了
She's pretty mad.
我知道
I know.
她现在打电♥话♥嚷我呢
She's yelling at me right now.
好吧 你都知情了就好
All right then, so we're all on the same page.
好啦
Yeah.
小妮妮
Hey, Bernie.
我的老公仔
There's my hubby.
在上面一切还好吗
How's everything going up there?
还好啊
Oh, it's okay.
太空很美丽
Space is beautiful.
地球很漂亮 一切还是老样子
Earth is beautiful. Same old, same old.
-怎么了 -没事啊
- What's wrong? - Nothing.
一切都好
Everything's fine.
霍华德
Howard.
其他宇航员都欺负我
The other astronauts are being mean to me.
不是吧 他们怎么欺负你了
No, what are they doing?
像那天我还在睡觉
Well, like for instance, the other day when I was asleep,
其中一个出去太空漫步
one of the guys went on a space walk
然后在我窗外粘了大眼橡胶外星人的面具
and glued a big-eyed rubber alien mask to the outside of my window.
我醒来后 大概尖叫了九分钟
When I woke up, I screamed for like nine minutes.
可怜的华仔
Oh, Howie.
你想看的话看得到 视频网站有
You can see it if you want. It's on YouTube.
只需搜索"宇航员尖叫九分钟"
Google "Astronaut screams for nine minutes."
你为什么不跟他们讲道理呢
Why don't you stand up to them?
我该说什么呢
What am I supposed to say?
不知道
I don't know.
就说 "欺负人不好
Say, "Being mean is lame.
对人友善才酷"
What's cool is being nice."
哪天我想被人欺负到死
Great, I'll do that when I want to be the first guy
我就会说的
in space to get a wedgie.
要我打电♥话♥找太空总署的人吗
Do you want me to call somebody at NASA?
不用
No.
我妈已经打过了
My mom already tried that.
完全是火上浇油
It only made things worse.
粘性之球
Gelatinous Sphere.
专心蝗虫
Focused Locust.
叶氏圣殿
Temple of Yip.
抱歉 沃罗威茨绝不会出这张牌
I'm sorry. Wolowitz would never play that card.
好吧 幼年恶魔龟
All right, Lesser Demon Turtle.
妖精神怪 我赢了
Fairy God Monster, I win.
你对友谊的渴求令你破绽百出
Your desperate need for friendship makes you weak.
你们等下做什么
So, what are you guys doing later?
斯图尔特和我打算出去喝一杯
Stuart and I were thinking of going out for a drink.
我们打算去泡妞
We're gonna try to meet some girls.
因为我们是采花高手
'Cause that's what we do.
小心了 女士们
Watch out, ladies:
咖啡奶油黑白配来啦
a little coffee and cream coming your way.
怕你们不懂 咖啡是我
In case you didn't follow that, I'm the coffee.
莱纳德
Leonard?
不如你也和他们出去泡下妞吧
Maybe you'd like to go with them to meet girls.
我怎么会有兴趣 我有佩妮
Why would I be interested? I have Penny.
暂时有而已
Yeah, for now.
那女人可不是省油的灯 莱纳德
But that woman has a death wish, Leonard.
她跟陌生人讲话 她会逗陌生的狗
She talks to strangers; she pets unfamiliar dogs;
而且闯进她的卧室
and it is ridiculously easy
实在是莫名其妙的容易
to break into her apartment.
如果我是你
If I were you,
我会准备个后备
I'd get a back-up.
你不能用随便碰到的人取代
You can't just replace someone you care about
你喜欢的人
with some other random person.
拜托别破坏我的美梦
No, please don't ruin this for me.
你还记得启用爱德华·诺顿
Do you remember how upset I was
出演绿巨人的时候我有多愤怒吗
when they replaced Edward Norton as the Hulk?
记得 你嘟哝了一个星期说
Yes, you walked around for a week saying,
"谢尔顿对选角不满意"[绿巨人语气]
"Sheldon unhappy with casting choice."
但马克·鲁法罗出演《复仇者联盟》里的
But, then Mark Ruffalo was the Hulk in The Avengers,
绿巨人时效果却更好
and he was even better.
你想说什么
What's your point?
就当我是浪漫主义者吧
Call me a romantic.
我觉得
I like to think
你还没碰到你的"马克·鲁法罗"呢
that your Mark Ruffalo is still out there somewhere.
真是莫名其妙 到底还要不要打牌
This is ridiculous. Are we gonna play cards or not?
我也喜欢马克·鲁法罗
I like Mark Ruffalo, too.
有节操点 伪沃罗威茨
Yeah, settle down there, Fake Wolowitz.
没人喜欢马屁精
No one likes a kiss-up.
我今早带了谢尔顿去看牙医
So, I had to take Sheldon to the dentist this morning.
-是吗 -对
- Really? - Yup.
我跟他说 如果他不咬牙医
I told him if he didn't bite the hygienist,
我就带他去吃冰淇淋
I'd take him for ice cream.
他咬了 我就省了一顿冰激凌
I didn't have to take him for ice cream.
你还好吗
You okay?
感觉有点心不在焉
You seem a little distracted.
听我说 我要跟你说件事
Look, there's something I need to tell you.
好的
Yeah, okay.
我真不知道该如何开口
I don't really know how to say this.
直说吧
Just say it.
好吧 那我就说了
Okay. Here goes.
你跟他上♥床♥了
You slept with him?
我不知道还能怎么办嘛
I didn't know what else to do.
他用可怜的星星大眼看着我
He had those big, sad eyes.
是啊 你也是"别无选择"
Oh, sure, you had no choice.
他这样看着我
He looked at me like this.
这样就能拐你上♥床♥
Well, if that's all it takes,
那真是幸好你没养狗
it's a good thing you don't have a dog.
别担心
Don't worry.
你多的是能跟他分手的机会
You'll have plenty of chances to break up with him:
你们的大喜之日 蜜月旅行
Your wedding day, your honeymoon,
金婚纪念日
your 50th anniversary.
没事的
Look, it's fine.
我们不会结婚的 明白吗
We're not getting married, okay?
我们会保持内稳态
We're keeping things, you know, homeostasis.
她硬学那些词的样子好可爱
It's so cute when she tries.
莱纳德发来的
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