生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S08E13
Part 2
Oct. 5, 2019, 9:44 a.m.
等等
Hold on.
我们有什么好处吗?
What's in it for us?
- 我想... - 好的 我们答应了!
- Well, I suppose... - Okay, we'll do it!
搞定
Done.
33秒
33 seconds.
好了 那是我们的基线
Okay, that'll be our baseline.
我本不想告诉你
You know, I don't want to tell you
怎样做好自己的工作 但是一只老鼠走出迷宫后
how to do your job, but when a mouse completes a maze,
都会获得一点食物奖励
it gets a food pellet.
老鼠的大脑也会被用镊子夹出来
It also gets its brain plucked out with tweezers.
那最后一餐你就给它吃那么点食物?
And his last meal was a food pellet?
你真是个禽兽
You're a monster.
好了接下来 我们要用
All right, next, we're gonna introduce
一种焦虑诱导刺♥激♥ 测量你的压力水平
an anxiety-inducing stimulus, measure your stress levels
再看看它如何影响你解决问题的效率
and see how it affects your problem-solving rate.
很好
Very well.
祝你好运... 我可是很淡定的人
And good luck... I'm a pretty laid-back guy.
准备好了?
Ready?
开始
Begin.
你为什么戳爆它?
Why'd you pop it?
抱歉 我本来是要戳你的心脏的
I'm sorry, I was aiming for your heart.
我知道你不喜欢
Look, I know you don't like it'
但是这是实验的关键
but that's the point of the experiment.
我要刺♥激♥你
I need to irritate you
才能找到你的最佳焦虑区
to find your optimal anxiety zone.
既然你说了不能挠痒痒 不能放波尔卡舞曲
And you said no to tickling, polka music
也不能看着我吃香蕉
or watching me eat a banana.
有谁是横着吃香蕉的?!
Who eats them horizontally?!
我妈说好女孩就该这么吃
My mother said that's how good girls do it.
也许这就是在浪费时间
Perhaps this was a waste of time.
嘿Sheldon
Sheldon,
你是一个卓越的科学家
you're a remarkable scientist.
耐心一点... 我保证
Just be patient... I'm sure you'll find the breakthrough
你能找到突破点
you've been looking for.
谢谢
Thank you.
而且就算你只老老实实做研究
And if you only do solid research
没有突破性发现
instead of making a groundbreaking discovery,
那又怎样呢?
what does it matter?
"老老实实做研究"?!
"Only do solid research"?!
哦... 我来找你帮忙 你却侮辱我?!
Uh... I come to you for help, and you insult me?!
我以为你至少能...
I thought the least that you would do would be...
看 你的焦虑水平达到理想值了
Look, your anxiety levels are right in the zone.
真的?
Really?
真棒啊
Oh, that's fantastic.
等等 下降了
N... Now, wait, they're dropping.
为什么会下降呢?
Why are they dropping?
因为它们升高了你很开心
Because you're happy they're elevated.
哦 真可恶!
Oh, that is infuriating!
看 看 又回来了
Ooh, look, they went back up again.
太好了
Terrific.
不 又下降了!
Oh, no, they went back down!
好了 伙计们 你们想玩什么游戏?
All right, guys, what game do you want to play?
我来看看
Let's see.
不如玩 "Emily还是Cinnamon"
How about "Emily or Cinnamon"
你不觉得这样很奇怪吗
You know what? I think it's a little weird
你总是能记住我说的话
that you remember me saying all these things.
可能是... 你嫉妒我的感情生活吧
Maybe the truth is... you're jealous of all my relationships.
可能是吧
Oh, maybe I am.
谁不想成为那个女孩
Who wouldn't want to be the girl,
也有可能是狗狗 可以听到你这么说:
or possibly dog, to hear the words:
"你真幸运
"You're so lucky.
可以拥有这一头闪亮无比的秀发"
You have the shiniest hair".
这个有点难
That is a tough one.
我...我知道他给她俩都梳过头
Uh, I...I know he brushes both of them.
- 先生们... - 嗯
- Gentlemen... - Yeah.
我找到了你们能刺♥激♥我的最好方案
I have figured out the perfect way for you to irritate me.
我希望你们能做我的专业挑刺员
I'd like you to be my intellectual sparring partners.
从现在起 只要我说什么
From now on, when I make an assertion,
你们就挑什么刺
I need you to challenge it.
所以无论你说什么 我们只要否定它就好了?
So you just want us to disagree with whatever you say?
是的
Yes.
- 你觉得这样能起作用? - 是的
- And you think that's going to help? - Yes.
但是我觉得根本没用
Well, I don't think that's gonna help at all.
会的
Oh, no, it will.
通过让我的大脑保持运转 我会更专注
See, by keeping my mind engaged, I'll become more focused.
Howard说得对... 没用的
Howard's right... that'll never work.
前提就不要在跟我争了
Stop fighting me on the premise.
这是有科学测试有效的
It's scientifically valid.
我提出观点
I'm going to advance propositions,
你们只管来质疑
I just want you to challenge me.
你肯定不希望我们这么做
I don't think that's what you want at all.
怎么会 我当然希望
Why, of course it's what I want.
如果我不希望的话 我怎么又会说我希望
Why would I say it's what I want if it's not what I want?
因为你心口不一
Because it is what you want, and it's not what you said.
我就这么点点要求 你们居然都不帮忙
I ask you for one simple thing, and you can't even do it.
- 我们可以帮啊 - 好啊 那就来吧
- Yes, we can. - Yeah, well, then do it.
不
Nah.
你们真差劲
You guys are the worst.
谢谢 真的管用
Thank you, I think that was helpful.
季度销♥售♥冠军可以
So, whichever rep has the best sales for the quarter
获得夏威夷双人游
gets a trip for two to Hawaii.
对你和Leonard来说 太浪漫啦
That would be so romantic for you and Leonard.
显然你没有见过他
Yeah, clearly you haven't seen him on the beach
带着金属探测器在沙滩上走来走去
walking around with his metal detector.
我要是能去夏威夷
If I were going to Hawaii,
我要一整天都泡在Keck天文台
I'd spend all my time at the Keck Observatory.
你知不知道 那里的望远镜
Did you know that the telescopes there have
分辨率比哈勃还高?
better resolution than the Hubble?
真的?
Really?
你想去夏威夷吗?
Want to go to Hawaii?
女士们?
Ladies?
女士们...
Ladies...
女士们?
Ladies?
进来
Come in.
女士们
Ladies.
什么事?
What's up?
你们可能已经知道了 我在试验
As you may know, I've been experimenting
提高焦虑水平
with elevated anxiety levels,
我想
and I thought,
还有什么比参加一场
what better way to increase my discomfort
没品的未经删减的三俗谈话
than to subject myself to an evening
更好的方式呢?
of tasteless uncensored crotch talk?
你到底以为我们都聊什么?
What exactly do you think goes on here?
嗯...
Well...
你们在进行一场不适于有异性
conversations that you wouldn't be comfortable having
参与的谈话
in front of the opposite sex.
比如 谁的宫颈最好
You know, who has the best cervix.
哪种姨妈巾最风靡
Which sanitary napkin is all the rage right now.
怎么啪啪男神的屁屁
Men's buttocks, and how you want to pat and squeeze them.
我们在聊Penny的工作
We were talking about Penny's job.
她的工作有多困难?
And how difficult it is to do
她这么膨胀 暴躁 脑子抽筋
when she's bloated, cranky and crampy?
继续
Continue.
Sheldon 我们都是正常人
Sheldon, we are just people.
我们跟你们聊的东西都一样
We talk about the same things you guys talk about.
你们聊狼人可以游泳吗?
You talk about if werewolves can swim?
Leonard说可以
See, Leonard says yes,
但是我认为这决定于他被咬之前
but I say it depends on if the human could swim
是不是会游泳
before he was bitten.
你怎么看?
What do you think?
生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory
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