生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S08E08

Part 3 Oct. 5, 2019, 9:44 a.m.

I can't do this.
莱纳德我告诉你
And for your information, Leonard,
"上殖器"不是长在我的肩胛骨之间
the upper flermin doesn't grow between my shoulder blades,
而是从我脖子的肚脐孔上长出来的
it grows out of the belly button on my neck.
他说得对我刚才说成"下殖器"了
He's right, I was thinking of the lower flermin.
我给斯图尔特发短♥信♥ 说我们快到了
Ooh, I'll, uh, text Stuart, let him know we're close.
你的纹身真好看
That's a neat tattoo.
谢谢这是《圣诞夜惊魂》里的萨利
Oh, thanks, it's Sally from Nightmare before Christmas.
那部电影很有趣
Aw, that movie's so cute.
你喜欢她是因为你们都是红头发吗
Do you like her because you both have red hair?
不尽然更多是因为她浑身伤疤
Uh, a little, but more that she's covered in scars
还可以把四肢都拆下来然后重新缝上
and can pull her own limbs off and sew them back on.
我喜欢《灰姑娘》
I like Cinderella.
你知道在《灰姑娘》原书中
Did you know, in the original book,
灰姑娘的姐姐们为了能穿进水晶鞋
the sisters cut off their toes with knives
用刀把脚趾头砍了下来吗
in order to fit in the glass slipper?
我喜欢《魔咒歌♥》
I like "Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo."
斯图尔特和他的女伴来了
Hey, here comes Stuart and his date.
她真可爱
Oh, she's cute.
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
怎么了
What?
那人是珍妮
That's Jeanie.
她就是珍妮吗
That's Jeanie?!
-珍妮是谁 -别说
- Who's Jeanie? - Don't say it.
霍华德以前睡过的那个堂姐
That's Howard's cousin that he had sex with.
她是我的二等堂姐
She is my second cousin.
我们当时只有15岁我叫你别说
We were 15... I just said, "don't say it."
没关系
No, it's okay.
他很早以前就告诉我了
He told me that story a long time ago.
拉杰
Raj!
那是我们第一次约会
It was our first date,
突然冷场了
there was an awkward silence.
我总得找话题说啊
What was I supposed to say?
好漂亮啊
Oh, it's beautiful.
她们俩布置得真漂亮
Oh, the girls really did a nice job.
我之前虽然不太感兴趣
I know I wasn't into this before,
不过我很高兴能带你来你的第一个舞会
but I'm so glad I get to take you to your first prom.
你为什么觉得我没参加毕业舞会
What makes you think I didn't go to my prom?
-我去了 -你带了谁
- I went. - Well, who'd you go with?
我带的女伴名叫"孤独"
I took a little lady I like to call loneliness.
没事啦
Aw, it's all right.
我们最后和"丢脸"
We ended up having a threesome
来了个"三人♥大♥战"
with her friend humiliation, so...
如果我当时在场看见你一个人
Well, if I would have been there and saw you alone,
我一定会邀请你跳舞
I would've asked you to dance.
不你不会的
No, you wouldn't have.
你怎么知道
Well, you don't know that.
那时候我还没发育呢
It was before my growth spurt.
什么你现在是发育过了吗
What, that already happened?
真好笑
Very funny.
不过你肯定也不会邀请我
Well, you wouldn't have asked me either.
我肯定会邀请你
I would have asked you.
在我脑子里
In my head.
在回家的路上
On the way home.
大哭的时候邀请你
While I was having a good cry.
谢尔顿我能进来吗
Sheldon, can I come in?
我觉得还是算了吧
I don't think that's a good idea.
为什么
Why not?
根据网上的留言板说
According to an online message board,
我可能是恐慌症犯了
I may be having a panic attack.
"足球妈妈09"也有同样的症状
SoccerMom09 had similar symptoms.
不过说实话她的双胞胎那天的确很不乖
But to be fair, the twins were a real handful that day.
你让我很担心
You're making me worry.
到底怎么回事
What's going on?
事情是我们要去参加毕业舞会
What's going on is we're about to go to a prom.
对我们这样的青年情侣来说
And there's a great deal of pressure
要做到鲍勃·尤班克斯
on young couples like us to engage in
说的那样"肆意狂欢" 有很大压力
what Mr. Bob Eubanks called making whoopee.
什么压力
What pressure?
我不过就说了你好帅
All I said was you look handsome.
把门打开好吗
Can you please open the door?
不光是这样
It's not just that.
莱纳德和佩妮也说了这事
Leonard and Penny also made comments about it.
我又不是瞎子
And I'm not blind.
我都忍♥不住多看两眼我的翘臀
Even I looked twice when I saw my posterior
裹在礼服裤里的样子
in these tuxedo pants.
我跟珍妮相识于你阿姨格拉蒂家
So, I met Jeanie at your Aunt Gladys'.
她递给我犹太典礼酒
She passed me the Manischewitz,
我看了这犹太美女一眼
I took one look at this punim,
差点犹太式"喷"到犹太布丁上
and I almost plotzed on the kugel.
我谈论印度时也这么烦人吗
Is this what I sound like when I talk about India?
我妈对此没意见吗
So, my mother's okay with this?
你妈干嘛对我和斯图尔特有意见
Why would your mother have a problem with me and Stuart?
因为他们之间存在着不恰当的逾越之举
'Cause they have a weird, inappropriate relationship.
比咱俩在我爸车里"做"的事还逾越吗
Weirder than what you and I did in my dad's Corolla?
真是太"糟糕"了
This is so messed up.
我知道我看得好开心啊
I know, I'm having the best time.
你今天为什么要来
Why would you even come to this?
你不是知道我也会在场吗
Didn't you know I'd be here?
那事都过去多久了霍华德
It was a long time ago, Howard.
而且你俩是二等堂姐弟有啥关系
And you're only second cousins, who cares?
你明知道这事还非要带她来吗
So, you knew and you brought her anyway?
霍德华能上她我却不能上吗
Oh, so she's good enough for Howard, but not for me?!
没错
Yeah.
滚回家和你自己妈妈
Yeah, go have weird relationships
堂姐玩不伦去吧
with your own mother and cousin.
这是他的地盘
This is his turf.
说得对
Yeah.
我之前没请你跳舞
Well, I might not have asked you to dance then,
-现在让我邀请你吧 -可是没音乐啊
- but I will ask you now. - There's no music.
我不管
I don't care.
咱们自己制♥造♥音乐嘛
We'll make our own music.
瞧瞧现在谁像个傻瓜啊
My God, who's the dork now?
谢谢你穿了平跟鞋
Thank you for wearing your flats.
谢谢你穿了高跟鞋
Thank you for wearing your heels.
看我多有出息
Look at me.
和舞会中最美的姑娘一起跳舞
Dancing with the prettiest girl at the prom.
想不想拍张合影发给
Want to take a picture of us and send it
你象棋俱乐部的朋友啊
to your old friends in the chess club?
我几年前就把你的泳装照发给他们了
I sent them a bikini shot of you years ago.
这样真好
This is nice.
我都有点希望其他人不来了
I kind of wish no one else was coming.
我也这么想
I know, me, too.
但能过个不混乱的毕业舞会也不错
But it will be fun to have a prom without all the drama.
华仔放开他
Howie, get off of him!
除非这只猪不再专拱我家的白菜
Not until he stops humping his way up my family tree!
谢尔顿你太傻了
Sheldon, this is silly.
我不要又错过一次舞会
I'm not missing another prom.
我要上楼去了
I'm going upstairs now.
回见
Good-bye.
我真心觉得你今天很美
I really did think you looked pretty.
真的吗
You did?
真的
Yes.
惊艳到让我开始恐慌
So much so that I started to panic.
你不用紧张
Well, you can relax.
就算你觉得我很美
Just because you think I look pretty
也不代表我们今晚就要在一起
doesn't mean we have to spend the night together.
可这是舞会你不就想这样吗
Were you hoping we would because it's prom?
我一直都想
I'm always hoping.
但今晚我只想好好和你享受舞会
But tonight I just wanted to have a nice time with you.
或许还能跟有手臂的生物跳舞