生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S08E08

Part 2 Oct. 5, 2019, 9:44 a.m.

I wonder who it is.
你明明知道那人是谁
You know exactly who it is.
我妈就是他的舞伴
He's gonna bring my mom.
你干嘛要邀请他啊
Why did you even invite him?
因为他是我们的朋友你们俩必须和睦相处
Because he's our friend, and you two need to get along.
再说了他为什么不能带你妈来
And why can't he take your mom?
你毕业舞会的时候不也带了吗
You took her to your prom.
我没有"带"她去她是去"监护"我
I didn't "Take" her; she was a chaperone.
我见过一张你们一起跳舞的照片
I saw a picture of you two dancing together.
不能怪我
W-What was I gonna do?
当时在播我们爱的主打歌♥
They were playing our song!
我受不了了
I can't take this anymore.
你好
Hello.
斯尔图特我们得谈谈
Stuart, we have to talk.
你跟我妈那点事儿
This thing with you and my mom,
让我超不爽
I-I hate it.
都快把我逼疯了
It's making me crazy.
你我是多年的朋友了
You and I were friends for years,
如今你却要带我妈去参加
and now you're bringing my mother to a party
我也在场的舞会
I'm going to?!
太离谱了吧
What the hell?!
我没有要带你妈去啊我有其他舞伴
I'm not bringing your mother, I have a date.
所以你现在是背着我妈偷吃吗
Oh, so now you're cheating on my mother?
你在胡说什么呀
Wha-What are you talking about?
我和你妈之前完全不存在任何逾越之举
There's nothing weird going on with me and your mother.
图仔你的洗澡水要凉了哦
Stewie, your bath is getting cold!
我得挂了再见
I got to go, bye.
佩妮
Penny?
佩妮
Penny.
佩妮
Penny.
佩妮
Penny.
佩妮
Penny.
今天敲门的次数比平时多呀
You knocked more than usual.
下次我可能有急事
Next time I might be in a rush,
先多敲两下存着吧
it's good to have a few in the bank.
找我♥干♥嘛
Okay, what's up?
我想跟你讨论下
I'd like to discuss this party
艾米和伯纳黛特举办的这个舞会
that Amy and Bernadette are throwing.
既然我和你都不想参加
Since you and I are both reluctant to go,
我想到了一个让我们乐在其中的完美方法
I think I've come up with a perfect way for us to enjoy it.
好呀怎么做
Great, how?
假装我们是外星人
We pretend we're aliens.
我不擅长阅读面部表情
I'm not the best at reading facial cues,
但我猜你很喜欢这主意并想深入了解它
but I'm gonna say that you love it and want to hear more.
在受人喜爱的小说
Now, in the beloved novel
《银河系漫游指南》中
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy,
一位叫福特·派法特的外星人为了混进人类世界
an alien named Ford Prefect pretended to be human
假扮人类
in order to blend in
目的就是为替《银河系漫游指南》
so that he could write an entry about Earth
写一本地球指南
for The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy,
而这本旅游指南恰恰是一本真书的一部分
which is a travel book within the actual book,
而那本真书名字就叫
which is also called
《银河系漫游指南》
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
我只有一个问题
Okay, just one question.
你说什么
What?
我的意思是假装外星人
My point is, pretending to be an alien is
是我使用过多次非常有用的应对机制
a valuable coping mechanism I've used many times.
我第一次去看你演出时就用过
I did it the first time I went to see you in a play.
你根本不知道观众里有
You had no idea Commander Umfrumf
来自天囷星的指挥官
of Ceti Alpha Three was in the audience.
别担心他竖起七根大拇指叫好哦
Oh, d-don't worry, he gave you seven thumbs up.
那么问题来了
Here's a question--
作为假扮人类的外星人
as an alien pretending to be human,
你打算跟艾米遵循
are you planning to engage in any
舞会后人类交♥配♥的惯例吗
post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
舞会后还有交♥配♥的惯例吗
There are post-prom mating rituals?
也不尽然啦
Not always.
但如果你舞伴的货车上有充气床垫
Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress,
那就是惯例啦
then always.
如果这是舞会体验的一部分那我愿意接受
Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
你开玩笑呢吧
You're kidding.
我或许是个外星人但我也有冲动啊
I may be an alien, but I have urges.
如果艾米想交♥配♥ 把卵子发射进太空
If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space,
那好我很乐意用
well, then, I will happily catch them
我"上殖器"的生殖囊兜住它们
with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin.
虽然我不擅长阅读面部表情
I'm not the best at reading facial cues,
但我能看出你有点小性奋哦
but I can see that you're a little turned on.
如果你懒得学怎么系领结
You know, if you're not gonna learn how to do this,
有很多夹上去的领结也很漂亮
they make some pretty good clip-ons.
布鲁斯·韦恩[蝙蝠侠]才不用夹上去的领结
Bruce Wayne doesn't wear a clip-on.
布鲁斯·韦恩也不会让他的室友帮忙系啊
Bruce Wayne doesn't make his roommate tie it for him.
他的室友[管家]阿福会帮他系领带啊
His name is Alfred, and, yes, he does.
好了完美
There, perfect.
你确定吗
What, are you sure?
这是我人生第一场毕业舞会我可得按照规矩来
It's my first prom, I want to do it correctly.
我以为你要打破常规扮外星人呢
I thought you were gonna pretend to be an alien.
我想来着不过佩妮不想
I was, but Penny didn't want to.
你也不想
You didn't want to.
伯纳黛特艾米
Bernadette, Amy,
库萨帕里和沃罗威茨都不想
Koothrappali and Wolowitz didn't want to.
而连我都知道请临演来会很怪
And even I knew it was weird to hire somebody.
那是酒壶吗
Was that a flask?
是的
Yes.
我决定接受所有和舞会
I've decided to embrace all of the traditions
相关的传统包括在潘趣酒里掺烈酒
associated with prom, including spiking the punch.
你要在潘趣酒里掺烈酒
You're gonna put alcohol in the punch?
才不这是石榴汁
Oh, no, this is pomegranate juice.
用保护细胞老化的抗氧化物
It's all the fun of high school high jinks
来玩高中生寻欢作乐的游戏
with the cell-protecting zip of antioxidants.
如果你再穿上破烂的牛仔裤和皮夹克
If you had ripped jeans and a leather jacket,
你就可以当迪士尼儿童台中的校霸了
you'd be like the toughest kid on the Disney Channel.
今晚还有什么安排吗
So, anything else planned for tonight?
舞会一切要做的事
Oh, everything.
跟大家照相慢舞
Getting our picture taken, slow-dancing,
被选为舞会国王
being elected prom king.
再指正大家国王不是民选的
Pointing out that kings aren't elected.
到时候肯定爽翻天
It's gonna be off the hook.
既然你提起了
And while you're at it,
我知道在这个年龄你的荷尔蒙激增
I know that at this age your hormones are raging,
虽然你的朋友们都在嘿♥咻♥
but just because all your friends are having sex
不见得你也非得去做
doesn't mean you have to.
你何出此言
Why would you say that?
因为...
You know, 'cause...
很多人的初夜都是在毕业舞会上失去的
'cause a lot of people lose their virginity on prom night.
佩妮也暗示过这个
Penny implied the same thing.
是真的吗
Is this true?
放轻松我开玩笑的
Just relax, it's a joke.
你根本没有荷尔蒙
You don't have hormones.
你真漂亮
Wow, you look amazing.
谢谢你也很帅
Thank you, so do you.
谢尔顿你真帅气
Sheldon, you look so handsome.
谢谢
Thank you.
谢尔顿艾米不漂亮吗
Sheldon, doesn't Amy look hot?
是不是让你的"上殖器"都活跃起来啦
That's got to put some starch in the upper flermin.
什么东西
What's that?
那是长在他肩胛骨之间的
Oh, it's a scaly genital organ
鳞状生殖器
that grows between his shoulder blades.
跳舞的时候小心别碰着了
Try not to touch it when you're dancing.
失陪了
Excuse me.
你去哪里
Where are you going?
我做不到