生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S05E24
Part 1
Oct. 4, 2019, 2:26 p.m.
"天才理论传"前情提要
Previously on The Big Bang Theory:
谁嘿♥咻♥了一半会说这种话?
Who says something like that right in the middle of sex?!
说不清 不是高♥潮♥了嘛
I don't know.It was the heat of the moment!
不 高♥潮♥时该说"爽 就这样"
No,the heat of the moment is "Ooh,yeah,just like that.
而不是"你愿意嫁给我吗?"
" Not,"Will you marry me?"
美航局很想把我的望远镜 用在空间站上
NASA really wants my telescope up on the Space Station,
所以他们要先把我弄上去
so they're putting me on an earlier launch.
啥时候?
When?
下周五
A week from Friday.
啥? 下周日可是我们的大喜之日
What?We're getting married that Sunday.
你说得对 我不能去太空
You're right.I can't go to space.
我还得结婚呢
I have to get married.
这是个好借口 我给他们回个电♥话♥
No one can say that's not a good reason.I'll call them back.
要不我们等你回来 再举♥行♥婚礼吧
We'll have the wedding when you get back.
你老爸会气死的
Your dad's going to be furious.
他不会同意推迟婚礼的 我们已经尽力了
There's no way he's going to let us postpone this wedding.Well,we tried.
我来和他说 他不会拒绝自己乖女儿的
I'll talk to him.He won't say no to his little girl.
不 我去和他谈 男人的事男人解决
No!I,uh,I should talk to him.Man to man.
好吧 听着 说实话
All right,look,I'm going to level with you.
要去太空这事把我吓懵了
I'm terrified about going into space.
要是我一去不复返了呢?
You know,what if I don't make it back?
没事的 孩子
It's going to be okay,son.
- 你真这样想? - 当然
- You really think so? - Of course.
Bernadette那么漂亮 她会找到新欢的
A pretty girl like Bernadette,she'll find a new guy.
现在
****
起飞第十二阶段准备
*******
起飞第十二阶段 收到
***
- Mike? - 啥事
- Hey,Mike? - Yeah...
我改主意了 我不想去太空
I changed my mind.I don't want to do this.
- 笑话不错 - 对 我很幽默
- Good one. - Yeah,I'm a funny guy.
我还有个超搞笑的点子 起飞全程 我都会假装大哭
I also have a hysterical bit planned for later where I pretend to cry through the whole launch.
Sheldon 美航局是几频道?
Sheldon,what channel is NASA TV?
289 在游戏频道288
289,right between the Game Show Network at 288
和迪斯尼东岸频道290之间
and the East coast feed of the Disney Channel on 290.
我爱死他的过目不忘了 超性感的
I love his eidetic memory,it's so sexy.
Sheldon 品客薯片里有啥成分?
Sheldon,what are the ingredients in Pringles?
干土豆片 植物油 玉米粉 小麦粉 麦芽糊精 食盐
Dried potatoes,vegetable oil,corn flower,wheat starch,maltodextrin,salt,
还有我最爱的 混合均匀
and my favorite ingredient of all,uniformity.
"湿"性大发 有木有?
The uterus quivers,does it not?
Howard在那火箭里 哈萨克斯坦现场直播
There's Howard's rocket,live from Kazakhstan.
天哪 我好紧张 我都不敢看了
Oh,God,I'm so nervous.I don't think I can watch.
紧张? 我已经四天食不知味了
You're nervous?I've been stress-eating for four days.
看我 裤带渐宽
Look at me.I'm wearing my fat pants.
不可思议
Remarkable.
半小时后
In just under a half hour,
200吨♥燃料将被点燃 在Howard的屁♥股♥下引发一场可控爆♥炸♥
200 metric tons of fuel will ignite in a controlled explosion right beneath Howard's keister.
而主办国家对世界的 主要经济贡献则是...
And all from a country whose entire contribution to the global economy,
俄♥罗♥斯♥方块和网购新娘
has been Tetris and mail-order brides.
把薯片给我
Give me those damn Pringles.
飞船系统是否就绪?
*****
就绪
Da.
好了 要倒计时了 你还好吧?
Okay,we're in the final countdown.How you doing over there?
好极了!
Good!Good!
一个小问题 刚我漏听了
Oh,quick question,I missed it in the briefing.
这宇航服能装多少尿来着?
How much urine do these suits hold?
嘿 果脆圈 试下你的风扇开关吧
Hey,Froot Loops,want to hit your fan switch?
没问题
Check.
他叫你果脆圈是因为 你娘炮的发型吗?
He calls you Froot Loops because of your very gay haircut?
不 因为我和我妈住一起 她会给我泡果脆圈
No,it's... 'cause I live with my mom and she makes me Froot Loops.
就说是因为发型太娘吧 别人更好接受
Go with gay story,people are more accepting of that.
实际上 果脆圈刚和一姑娘结婚了
Actually,Froot Loops just got married to a girl.
恭喜
Congratulations.
谢谢 我们决定在上天前结婚
Thanks,we decided to do it before the launch.
你和果脆圈夫人的婚礼盛大不?
You and Mrs.Loops have a big wedding?
不算吧
Not exactly.
听着 不介意的话 我现在不太想聊天
Listen,if you don't mind,I'm not really up for chatting.
我要静静♥坐♥着 在脑海里回顾我的一生
I'm just going to sit here quietly and let my life flash before my eyes.
回顾得太快 重新试一次
That went really quick.Let me try it again.
闭上眼 伸出手 我给你准备了份特别礼物
Close your eyes.Put out your hand.I got you something special.
得了吧 Howard 我再也不上当了
Come on,Howard.I'm not falling for that again.
不是啦 在这呢
No,here...
Howie 小星星 好美
Oh,Howie.A little star.It's beautiful.
帮我戴上
Put it on me.
好的 但我得先留着
Okay,but I'm going to have to get it back for you
这样我就可以带去国际空间站
so I can take it to the International Space Station.
当我回来的时候
That way,when I come home,
你将会有一颗 真正从太空带回来的星星
you will have a star that was actually in space.
天哪
my God.
傻了吧 以前送过你东西的哥几个
Take that,every guy who's ever bought you anything.
这是我收过最棒的礼物了
This is the most amazing gift I've ever gotten.
真的? 要是你这么喜欢
Really?Well,if you like it that much,
闭上眼睛 伸出手
then close your eyes and put out your hand.
我去超♥市♥给你买♥♥旅行要带的零食!
I'm going to the supermarket to buy snacks for your trip!
你要小盒装的果脆圈吗?
Do you want me to get those little boxes of Froot Loops you like?!
不 我一吃果脆圈 别的宇航员就笑话我!
No!When I eat Froot Loops,the other astronauts make fun of me!
Howard 我不想等你回来再结婚
Howard,I don't want to wait until you're back to get married.
你说什么?
What?
我想在你走进火箭之前 和你结婚
I want to be married to you before you get in that rocket.
但我两天后就走了
But I'm leaving in two days.
苹果脆片怎么样?
What about Apple Jacks?!
(同为一款儿童麦片)
***
我不用带麦片!
I don't need to take cereal!
你知道在俄♥罗♥斯♥ 他们早饭会喂你吃啥?
What kind of breakfast do you think they're going to give you in Russia?!
薄饼卷是他们发明的 没事的!
They invented blintzes!I'll be fine!
(薄饼卷-犹太食品)
***
新泽西人还发明了灯泡呢
They invented the lightbulb in New Jersey!
他们发明了又不一定会给你
It doesn't mean they hand them out to you when you go!
我们举♥行♥个简单仪式 只有朋友出席
We'll have a quick little ceremony with just our friends,
等你回来 再补办一场大的
and we'll still have the big reception with everyone when you get back.
好 我们结婚吧
Okay.Let's get married.
以防你在外太空便秘 我给你买♥♥全麦麦片吧
You know what,I'll buy you All-Bran in case you get stopped up in outer space.
(一种高膳食纤维麦片)
***
我们决定今天下午 去市政厅登记结婚
So anyway,we decided to go down to City Hall this afternoon get married,
然后等到Howard回来再办婚宴
and then have the reception when Howard gets back.
- 太棒了! - 那真好!
- Great! - That's so good!
我知道这通知太临时了 但我希望大家能一起去
I mean,we know it's short notice,but we'd love you all to come with us.
不 这不是我要的婚礼!
No,no,no,this is not the wedding I wanted!
我想穿着我的伴娘礼服 万人瞩目下走过红毯
I want to wear my maid of honor dress and walk down the aisle with a hundred eyes on me,
同时弦乐乐团演奏着 "今夜你的容颜"
while a string quartet plays "The Way You Look Tonight.
(30年代电影插曲)
***
我们的进场音乐不是那首啊
" That wasn't going to be our processional music.
是我的进场音乐!
Well,it was going to be mine!
谢谢你们邀请我
Thank you for the invitation,
但我必须谢绝 因为听起来 不像是我会喜欢的样子
but I have to decline because it doesn't sound like something I'll enjoy.
来吧 Sheldon 会很有趣的
Come on,Sheldon,it'll be fun.
你也是这么说电影"绿灯侠"的
That's what you said about The Green Lantern movie.
你错了1♥1♥4♥分钟(电影全长)
You were 1♥1♥4♥ minutes of wrong.
Amy 你怎么说?
So,what do you say,Amy?
我能穿我的伴娘礼服吗?
Can I wear my maid of honor dress?
真的? 你要穿着它去市政厅?
Seriously?You're going to wear that thing to City Hall?
我只剩下它了 连它你都要夺走?
It's all I have left!You're going to take that from me,too?!
- Amy 你真美 - 我知道
- Amy,you look great. - I know.
你从哪儿弄的啤酒?
Where'd you get a beer?
那边那对满身纹身的 幸福小情侣给我的
From that happy young couple over there with all the tattoos.
美丽的故事 他们身处对立的贩毒团伙 却执意要结婚
Beautiful story: they're in rival drug gangs,and they're getting married.
嘘 谁也别说哦
Shh,no one can know.
看看这些深陷爱河的人
Look at all these people in love.
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