生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S05E09

Part 2 Oct. 4, 2019, 2:25 p.m.

我的第一段记忆就是
My first memory:
一只蜂鸟俯冲到我的婴儿车里从我的吸吸杯里喝苹果汁
A hummingbird dive-bombing my stroller to get at the apple juice in my sippy cup.
蜂鸟很漂亮的呀
Hummingbirds are pretty.
蜂鸟是鲜花世界里的吸血鬼
Hummingbirds are the vampires of the flower world.
可它仍是我脚踝纹身的首选图案
Still my first choice for an ankle tattoo.
海豚也不错我有点摇摆不定
Or a dolphin-- I go back and forth.
七岁那年一只嗜血的小鸡追得我爬上了树
Age seven,a blood-thirsty chicken chases me up a tree.
12岁一只喜鹊想直接从我嘴里偷牙套
Age 12,a magpie tries to steal the retainer out of my mouth.
16岁宠物店里的鹦鹉叫我大屁♥股♥
Age 16,a parrot in a pet store calls me fat ass.
还用我继续说吗?
Need I go on?
好呀这比电影有意思多了
Yes,please.This is way better than the movie.
Sheldon 你的杀鸟射线搞定了
All right,Sheldon,your bird death ray is ready.
这不是致死射线
It's not a death ray.
只是用一点小小的超声波来把它吓跑
It's just a little ultrasonic blast to scare him off.
相信我我要是有致死射线的话就不在这儿住了
Trust me,if I had a death ray,I wouldn't be living here.
我会住在我的小窝里好好享用地球人怕我用射线而给我的钱
I'd be in my lair enjoying the money the people of Earth gave me for not using my death ray.
好了倒计时三二一
All right,and in three,two,one.
真是只"鸟坚强"
That is one tough birdie.
承认吧你喜欢这电影
Come on,you enjoyed the movie.
村子被水淹大家都要另寻住处时我看到你掉眼泪了
I saw you tearing up when the village got flooded,and everyone had to relocate.
不我当时在想为什么他们都能走我却不能
No,I was thinking how come they get to leave and I can't.
我去拿点薯条
I'm going to get some fries.
- 要来点不? - 不了多谢
- You want anything? - Uh,no,thanks.
确定吗? 你总说不要然后我的一半都被你吃了
Are you sure?You always say no,and then you eat half my fries.
我就吃了一些脆的你不爱吃的啊
I just eat the little crispy ones you don't like.
我喜欢的
No,I love them.
我要留下来最后吃的可是都被你吃完了
I save them for the end,but they're gone because you ate them.
我为啥让你吃?
And why did I let you eat them?
- 为了滚床单 - 答对了
- To get sex. - Exactly.
可我们没在约会
But this is not a date.
所以我再问遍你要吃什么?
So I ask again,would you like anything?
好吧我想要份炸薯条
All right,I'd like an order of fries.
很好五块钱
Great. That'll be five dollars.
真是段美好时光呀
I am having the best time.
好开心你提议这么做
I'm so glad you suggested we do this.
- 不好意思 - 没事
- Oh,sorry. - No problem.
你在写啥?
What you writing there?
剧本
A screenplay.
讲一个人他室友在滚床单所以让他去酒吧写剧本
Its about a guy whose roommate is having sex and tells him to go to a bar and work on his screenplay.
"希望Alex长阴虱:电影版"
"I Hope Alex Gets Crabs: The Movie."
这是暂定片名
It's a working title.
- 我叫Kevin - Penny
- I'm Kevin. - Penny.
幸会不打扰你们二人世界了
Nice to meet you.I'll let you get back to your date.
不我俩不是一对
Oh,no,no.This isn't a date,no.
对吧?
Right?
对
Uh...right.
你写的东西我有可能看过吗?
So have you written anything I might have seen?
不一定你平时上"点评网"不?
That depends.How much time do you spend on Yelp?
这太扯了
This is ridiculous.
我是一名来自德州的纯爷们
I'm a grown man from Texas.
这鸟根本不像鹅那样可怕
This isn't a terrifying bird like a swan or a goose.
就是只冠蓝鸦而已
It's just a blue jay.
这只冠蓝鸦有点大
That's a pretty big blue jay.
一...二...三
One...two...three.
走开! 去去去!
Go!Shoo!
鸟飞进屋了! 鸟飞进屋了!
Bird in the apartment!Bird in the apartment!
不要!
No!
这纪录片太赞了
So it is an amazing documentary.
人类想要用水坝发电
They need the electricity from the dam,
同时又想保持生态平衡
but at the same time,they want to preserve the environment.
不是吧你
You're kidding me.
出来说几句话行不?
Uh,can I see you for a sec over here?
- 好的等我下? - 没问题
- Oh,yeah.Sure.Just one sec? - No problem.
- 啥事? - 我知道你在搞什么
- What's up? - I know what you're doing.
我在搞什么?
What am I doing?
你想方设法要和那家伙说话因为我说我俩没在约会
You're going out of your way to talk to that guy because I said we weren't on a date.
不我和他说话因为他很萌
No,I'm talking to him because he's cute.
算了吧他一点都不萌
Come on,he's not that cute.
他就是啊
Yes,he is.
宅男T恤加潮男眼镜
With his dorky T-shirt and his little hipster glasses.
我也穿宅男T恤带眼镜啊
I wear dorky T-shirts and glasses.
没错但如果个头比较高并且颧骨完美就更显帅了
Yes,but when you're tall and have great cheekbones,you're doing it ironically.
那样的话我去找个妹子聊怎么样?
If that's so,what if I start talking to a girl?
你去啊!
You should!
我是说真的我会做的
I'm serious.I'll do it.
好啊! 去吧! 那边正好有几个妹子
Good!Go!There are some girls right over there.
你还在等什么?
What are you waiting for?
她们是一群人我害怕
They're in a group.I'm scared.
Sheldon 你想让我们怎么做?
Sheldon,what do you expect us to do?
你们是生物学家
You're biologists.
生物学是研究生物的
Biology is the study of living things.
那就是个生物快点开始吧
That's a living thing; get cracking.
我是研究微生物的而Amy是研究大脑的
I specialize in microorganisms,and Amy studies brains.
对我们都没兼修"赶鸟"专业
Yeah,neither of us minored in bird-shooing.
别装了
Oh,come now.
你们的本科课程一定有讲过"害鸟"什么的吧
Your undergraduate work must have included a varmints and critters class.
进来吧 Sheldon 他不会伤害你的
Come back in,Sheldon,he's not going to hurt you.
他看起来很友好
He looks friendly.
我想可能是某人的宠物
I think he might be someone's pet.
不 Bernadette 不要逞英雄!
No,Bernadette,don't be a hero!
噢他好可爱
Oh,he's a sweetie.
对非常可爱
Yes.It's very sweet.
现在慢慢小心地将他冲进马桶里去
Now,slowly and carefully,flush him down the toilet.
Sheldon 克服恐惧的唯一办法就是与它互动
Sheldon,the only way to get past this fear is to interact with it.
就像你跟邮递员那样
Just like you did with the mailman.
每年世界上有几十个人被鸟杀死
Every year tens of people around the world are killed by birds.
我不想成为统计数据中的一员
I'm not going to be another statistic.
看他多可爱啊来给他打个招呼
Look how sweet he is.Come over and say hi.
来吧
Come on.
你能做到的
You can do it.
不要害怕
Don't be scared.
赶紧摸你个大屁孩!
Oh,just pet the bird,you big baby!
我做到了!
I did it!
我竟然做到了
I actually did it.
好了快把他冲走吧
Okay,now flush him.
那么 Leonard 你有什么爱好吗?
So,Leonard,what do you do for fun?
我...让我想想
I'm...let's see.
远足
Hiking.
在韩国城K歌♥
Karaoke in Koreatown.
看Jennifer Aniston演的电影
Any Jennifer Aniston movie.
对不起刚才丢下了你
Sorry I ditched you.
没事你去就是了
No,it's fine.You can ditch away.
不不我们不是出来玩的嘛来玩吧
Oh,no,no.We said we were going to hang out,let's hang out.
很好啊回Kevin那去吧
It's cool.Go back to Kevin.
他得走了
Oh,he had to leave.
真是有趣
Interesting.
现在他走了你就想起我来了
So now that he's gone,you want to hang out with me.
- 这一定是Penny吧 - 对
- This must be Penny. - Yep.
我完全明白了
I totally get it
不好意思明白什么?
I'm sorry,get what?
没什么啦那边有男生
Don't worry about it.You know,there's some guys over there.
你去跟他们聊聊吧
You should go talk to them.
不我想知道你跟她说了什么
No,no.I want to know what you told her.
那是我和...
That's kind of between me and...
- Laura - Laura的秘密
- Laura. - Laura.
好吧了解
Okay,I see.
那他刚才有没有提过他有不止一件
So while he was telling you things,did he mention he owns,
而是两件星际迷航的制♥服♥?
not one,but two Star Trek uniforms?
- 真的吗? - 对还会真的穿
- Really? - Yeah.Wears them.
不仅仅是万圣节穿哦
Not just for Halloween.