生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S05E23
Part 1
Oct. 4, 2019, 2:26 p.m.
Howard Wolowitz
Howard Wolowitz.
嘿 Howard
Hey,Howard.
我是美航局的Dave Roeger
Dave Roeger here at NASA.
我们要谈谈你即将到来的任务
We need to talk about your upcoming mission.
好的 我有坚持做俯卧撑
Yes,yes,I've been doing my push-ups.
还是只能做九个 但...
I'm still stuck at nine,but...
已经不用人抱着我来做了
...that's going all the way down with no one holding me.
很好 但我不是想说这事
That's great,uh,but that's not why I called.
我们这边出了点状况
We've run into a bit of a snafu.
你的联盟号♥太空舱增压测试失败 所以任务取消了
Your Soyuz capsule failed the pressurization test,so bottom line,mission's been scrubbed.
你逗我呢 这是什么意思?
You're kidding.So what does that mean?
天啊 我真的很失望
Boy,I got to tell you,I'm really disappointed.
这是我从小的梦想
This was my dream ever since I was a little kid.
好的 谢谢你致电
Okay,well,uh,thanks for the call.
好 你也是
Yep,you,too.
耶! 谢天谢地!
Yes! Thank you!
我不会死在太空了!
I'm not gonna die in space!
我会按照上天安排 在快六十岁时 因熏牛肉塞爆心脏而死
I'm gonna die the way God intended,in my late 50s,with a heart full of pastrami.
我需要件大点儿的衬衫
I'm going to need a larger shirt.
这件腋下有点紧
This one's a little tight under the arms.
好的
Okay.
会不会是因为你穿了连身秋衣?
Do you think maybe it's tight because you're wearing long underwear?
是的 所以才会紧嘛
Yes,of course that's why it's tight.
好吧 我改变下问法
All right,let me rephrase the question.
你为什么要穿连身秋衣?
Why are you wearing long underwear?
你逗我呢
You're kidding.
不是该我问"你为什么不♥穿♥"吗?
Shouldn't the question be: why aren't you?
不 应该是 你为什么要穿?
No,it should be: why are you?
Leonard 这些出租的燕尾服 被几百号♥汗流浃背的陌生人穿过
Leonard,these rental tuxedos have been worn by hundreds of sweaty strangers.
我连自己的汗都不喜欢 他们的汗就更别说了
I don't like my own sweat touching my skin,how do you think I feel about theirs?
试试套下这件吧?
Why don't you slip this on?
说得好像要给我戴脖套绞刑一样
Said the hangman offering a noose.
虽然没有他去租保龄球鞋时搞笑 但也差不多了
Well,that wasn't as entertaining as when he rents bowling shoes,but it was right up there.
就这样了
Well,that's it.
我的任务取消了
My orders have been rescinded.
我正式去不成太空了
I am officially "no go" to space.
很遗憾 Howard 但我为你松了口气呢
I'm sorry,Howard,but I got to tell you,I'm a little relieved you're not going.
为什么?
Why?
不是吧 你要乘60年代 苏联人设计的火箭上太空
Come on,you were gonna go up in a rocket designed in the 1960s by the Russians.
是的 所以呢?
Yeah,so?
你啥时候听过有人在百思买♥♥说
When was the last time you were at Best Buy and you heard someone say,"
"看看这个蓝♥光♥播放器 肯定很棒 因为是苏联制♥造♥的"
Ooh,check out this Blu-ray player,it must be good,it was built in Russia"?
他们的技术没那么糟啦
Well,their technology isn't that bad.
当你乘联盟号♥太空舱返回地球时 会以时速500英里自♥由♥下落
When you come back to Earth in a Soyuz capsule,you free-fall from space at 500 miles per hour,
帮你减速的只有一把小小的降落伞 在你快撞上地面时才撑开
and the only thing that slows you down is a little parachute that pops out right before you crash into the ground.
设计整套装备的这堆天才
And the whole thing was designed by the same brilliant minds
连"飞鼠"和"洛基"都逮不到
who were unable to capture Rocky and Bullwinkle.
(美动画片两主角 反派为苏联人)
***
好吧 随便了
All right,well,whatever.
我没担心过
I wasn't worried.
你没有?
You weren't?
我给你解释解释我俩的不同之处
Let me explain the difference between you and me.
你看"星际迷航" 我活在其中
You watch Star Trek; I live it.
拜托 我可不记得 "星际迷航"里面有人从没上过太空
Oh,please.I don't remember the episode of Star Trek where the guy never goes to space
就在一家燕尾服店夸夸其谈了
and brags about it in a tuxedo store.
你就开玩笑吧 但我们中只有一个人 有胆量去做我差点做了的事
Make all the jokes you want,but there's only one of us here brave enough to almost do what I almost did.
好多了
Ah,much better.
你肯定热死了吧
You must be burning up.
有点吧
A little.
但肯定没你们的尿道沾上 这些裤子上的鬼东西后 那么烧得慌
But not more than your urethras will be after whatever's in those pants swims up them.
我真是有型又卫生啊 是吧?
Well... I cut quite the dashing,yet hygienic figure,don't I?
好像准备结婚的闪电侠
I look like the Flash about to get married.
纸巾! 有纸巾! 老天爷呀!
A tissue! A tissue!Oh,good Lord!
他去哪儿?
Uh,where's he going?
他把手部消毒液放在车里 以防紧急情况
He keeps emergency Purell in the car.
车钥匙 车钥匙 车钥匙!
Keys! Keys! Keys!
嘿 你好
Hey,you.
进来前得先告诉你 我带了气 (也有"我爱放屁"的意思)
Before I come in,you should know,I have gas.
这不算是你最烂的开场白
For the record,not your worst opening line.
看这个
Check it out.
我的自♥由♥电子激光器 就是用这种气体来支撑高电压
It's the gas I use in my free-electron laser to support high voltages.
但它还有第二种有趣的用法
But it also has an interesting secondary use.
来 吸里面的气
Here.Breathe this in.
在吸之前 如果你是警♥察♥ 你得表明身份 是吧?
B-Before I do it,if you're a cop you have tell me,right?
试试
Just try it.
好的
Okay.
有什么...
What's it supposed to...
天呐 好恐怖啊!
Oh,my God,that's so freaky!
你真坏 圣诞怪杰
*You're a mean one * *Mr. Grinch. *
(见金凯瑞同名电影)
***
到我了 到我了 准备好没?
Okay. Me,me,me.Ready?
Leonard 我是你♥爸♥
***
我这辈子还从没这么喜欢过 公鸭嗓的女人
I have never been more attracted to a woman who sounds like a man in my life.
嘿 我们一直在...慢慢来
Hey... you know how we've been... taking things slow?
那个 我在想...
Well,I've been thinking,and...
或许我已经准备好...
maybe I'm ready to... take things a little...
加快点速度了
faster.
太好了
great.
我保证 在等了四个月后 我肯定很"快"
And I promise,after waiting four months,fast is what you're gonna get.
只有一件事
You know,just-just one thing.
我们现在的关系很好
Look,we're in a really great place right now,
我不想把事情再弄尴尬
and I don't want to do anything that will make stuff all weird again.
那我们就别把它弄尴尬
So we won't let it get weird.
好的
Okay.
提醒一下 你上一次见完我裸体后 我去纹了个饼干怪
Oh,and just a heads-up... mm,since the last time you saw me naked,I got a Cookie Monster tattoo.
("芝麻街"中人物)
***
你见到后 只能称赞 或者啥都不说
The acceptable responses when you see it are "awesome" or nothing.
那...
What about...
"饼干"呢?
Cookies!
Amy Amy Amy
Amy? Amy? Amy?
七点整 刚刚好
7:00,right on time.
不是刚好
It's not an accident.
我已经在你家门口 等了二十分钟了
I waited outside your door for 20 minutes.
饭马上好了
Well,dinner's almost ready.
我很惊讶 你会选择在家约会
I must say,I was surprised you chose to spend our date night in your apartment.
我提过 帕萨迪纳市议会正就 人行道时间延长问题进行讨论
As I mentioned,the Pasadena City Council is debating longer crosswalk times,
之后乐高专卖♥♥店有一个 午夜疯狂大甩卖♥♥
and later,the LEGO store is having a midnight madness sale.
你问谁 谁都会说去那儿约会不错
You ask anyone,that's a hot date.
是很诱人 不过我为今晚做了些特别的准备
Tempting choices,but I have something special planned for tonight.
什么能比有充足的时间穿过街道
What can be more special than having an adequate amount of time
去乐高买♥♥迷你印第安琼斯更特别呢?
to cross the street on your way to buy a tiny LEGO Indiana Jones?
咱朋友的感情有所发展
With our friends moving forward in their relationships,
我认为我们也该如此
I've decided that we should make progress in ours as well.
老天爷啊
Oh,dear Lord.
两年前我们连对方是谁都不知道 而现在 天黑后我却在你家里
Two years ago,we didn't even know each other,and now I'm in your apartment after dark.
进展还不够快吗
How much faster can this thing go?
我知道你不情愿
I had a feeling you'd be reluctant,
所以我要施展一些 神经生物学的小把戏
which is why I'm going to dip into my neurobiological bag of tricks.
你们这种脑科猴子还想弄我?
Oh,you brain monkeys kill me.
算了吧
Dip away.
我相信我的实验 能让你在短时间内更喜欢我
I have devised an experiment that I believe will increase your feelings for me in an accelerated time frame.
你要怎么做
And how do you propose to do that?
希望不是想通过迷幻药控制我
Uh,hope you're not thinking about some sort of LSD thought control.
因为只有一种迷幻药对这位有效 就是 学校
Because there's only one mind-expanding drug that this man enjoys,and that's called school.
(也有"增知药"的意思)
***
人类在成长时会形成情感依恋
Human beings form emotional attachments as they grow up.
对你来说就是 母亲 超人 等等
In your case,to your mother,superheroes,et cetera.
生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory
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