生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S05E02
Part 1
Oct. 4, 2019, 2:25 p.m.
你在干嘛?
What are you doing?
Priya等下会用Skype打过来 我们要共进晚餐
Oh,uh,Priya's calling in a few minutes on Skype,and we are gonna have a dinner date.
现在孟买♥♥可是早上8点
It's 8:00 in the morning in Mumbai.
她怎么就吃晚餐了?
How can she have dinner?
随便啦 Priya要和我共进早餐
Fine,whatever. Priya will be having breakfast.
那严格来讲 这不是共进晚餐
All right,so technically it's not a dinner date.
我想应该称之为共进早晚餐
I suppose you could call it a,uh,dinfast date.
这么叫的话 那就等着被我们笑话吧
But if you did,you'd open yourself to peer-based mocking,
Leonard 昨晚 你和Priya的早晚餐如何?
such as,"Hey,Leonard,how was your dinfast with Priya last night?"
没听出来哪里嘲笑了
That doesn't sound like mocking.
听我说完 早玩惨
You didn't let me finish. Dinfast.
- 这些是豆制蜡烛吗? - 我哪知道 什么意思?
- Are those soy-based candles? - I don't know. Why?
石蜡蜡烛可能含致癌物
Paraffin candles may contain carcinogens.
或者你想让肺癌与早晚餐相伴
Unless lung cancer is the ambiance you were going for at your dinfast.
早玩惨
Dinfast.
听着 我不想赶你 但Priya随时会打来
Listen,I don't want to be rude,but Priya's gonna be calling any minute,so...
没错 说到Priya
Oh,yes,Priya.
Leonard 你知道我这个人
Leonard,you know I make a point of
从来不干涉别人的私生活
never interfering in your personal affairs.
没错 这点我倒一直很欣赏
Yes,I've always admired that about you.
那是当然 但今天我要破个例
As well you should. But I'm going to make an exception here.
我个亲娘
Oh,good.
Priya回印度当她的律政佳人
Priya has moved back to India to pursue her law career.
与其维系这场跨洲恋情
Instead of desperately trying to keep this intercontinental relationship alive,
你不如培养一个爱好
you could use that time to take up a hobby.
- 爱好? - 正是
- A hobby? - Yes.
我看新闻说 堪萨斯州 有人绕了个巨型麻线球
I read recently about a fellow in Kansas with an enormous ball of twine.
你肯定能抢走那人的奖金
I bet you could give him a run for his money.
有人说 努力维持异地恋很伟大
You know,some people might say that it's great that we're trying to make things work long distance.
他们说 爱情比距离更强大
They'd say things like,"Love is stronger than the miles between you"
等我掌权时 就灭了这些人
When I rise to power,those people will be sterilized.
你和Amy还常视频呢 有什么区别?
You video-chat with Amy all the time. How is this different?
- 你不喜欢Amy吗? - 我当然喜欢
- Don't you like Amy? - Of course I like Amy.
这不就是区别嘛
Well,there's the difference.
失陪了 是Priya
Excuse me,that's Priya.
- 你好啊 Leonard - 好啊 亲爱的
- Hi,Leonard. - Hey,honey.
- 人家好想你 - 我也想你
- I miss you. - Oh,I miss you,too.
真怀念当年 能把这些虚幻情人 退回音像店里的时光
I miss the old days when your romantic partners could be returned to the video store.
感谢你在Leonard和女人视频时收留我
Thanks for letting me stay here while Leonard Skypes with his girlfriend.
没什么大不了
Oh,it's no problem.
这不挺好的嘛 各看各的书
It's actually kind of nice. You reading,me reading.
多像一对老夫妻
We're like an old married couple.
这样的话 妻子会端来冰茶加曲奇饼干
If we were an old married couple,the wife would serve iced tea and snickerdoodles.
我家没有这两样东西
I don't have iced tea and snickerdoodles.
称职的妻子会去超♥市♥
A good wife would go to the store.
咱离吧
I want a divorce.
很好 见律师的路上记得买♥♥茶和饼干
Good. On the way to see the lawyer,pick up some tea and cookies.
我必须讲一下 我真心喜欢你这新椅子
I must say,I am enjoying your new chair.
- 是不是很舒服? - 没错
- It's great,isn't it? - It is.
紧靠腰椎 按♥摩♥尾骨 平衡屁屁
Aligns the lumbar,cradles the coccyx,balances the buttocks.
这椅子还真对得起这名字
This is a chair worthy of the name.
- 什么名字? - 椅子
- What name? - Chair.
不管怎么说 喜欢就好
Oh,all right,well,I'm glad you like it.
真想不通这样的椅子也会被丢掉
I mean,I still can't get over the fact someone just threw it away.
- 你说什么? - 就在街上捡的
- What? - Yeah,it was just sitting on the street.
10块钱找个流浪汉帮我搬上来的
I paid a homeless guy ten bucks to help me get it up here.
哦 天啊 天啊
Oh,dear. Oh,dear.
- 你怎么了? - 我坐在垃圾上了
- What is wrong? - I've been sitting in garbage!
Sheldon 别发神经
Sheldon,take it easy.
你才发神经 我要去冲个澡
You take it easy! I need to use your shower.
当时结婚 姐可是满心期许啊
I went into this marriage with so much hope.
地上怎么有条湿掉的创可贴
There's a wet Band-Aid on the shower floor!
真好玩 从没用过液压热成型冲床
This is fun. I've never used a hydraulic thermoforming press before.
虎气吧 花了学校17万5千块呢
Pretty sweet,huh? This little baby set the university back 175 grand.
- 三分钟到了 看看成果吧 - 等一下
- That's three minutes. we should see what we've got - hang on
好唉 好一个火腿三明治
Oh,yeah. This is one good-looking panini.
- 金枪鱼三明治给我 - 好
- Hand me the tuna melt. - Yep.
多谢
Thank you.
异地恋进行得怎么样?
How's it going with the long-distance love affair?
不容易 但我们会找到办法的
Not easy,but we're making it work.
你说的办法 有没有包括果聊啊?
When you say "making it work," does that include doing the cyber nasty?
- 什么? - 你懂的 视频上相互那啥
- What? - You know,the virtual pickle tickle.
通过视频滚床单
The digital... Bow-chicka-bow-bow.
拜托 这说的可是我妹子
Come on,dude. This is my sister you're talking about.
Leonard对着摄像头动几下
Hey,Leonard jiggling his junk at her through a webcam has got to be easier for you
总比实战更容易接受吧
to deal with than him actually touching her with it.
别说得那么猥琐 我们就聊聊天
There's no junk jiggling. We just talk.
你没病吧?
Are you insane?
高速网络可是继毛巾以来
With high-speed Internet,you have at your fingertips the greatest advancement in the field of sex
给我们带来最多性福的发明
since the invention of the washcloth.
这样不太好吧
I can't do that.
不听话 你家Priya就得被...
Well,if you don't,you're gonna lose Priya to some fancy guy in a turban
饱读印度爱经的头巾印度男抢跑了
who grew up with Kama Sutra coloring books.
能别种族歧视不?
How can you be so racist?
说啊 告诉我哪里说错了
Oh,come on,tell me I'm wrong.
Leonard 很好 你在这儿
Oh,Leonard,good. There you are.
帮我看看头发里有没有长虱子
I need you to check my head for chair lice.
昨晚不刚看过 这次我才不干
I did it last night,I'm not doing it again.
只查了头发 对吧
Just his head,right?
我不想谈这个
I don't want to talk about it.
- 一把椅子哪来的虱子 - 明明有
You didn't catch bugs from Penny's chair. Yes,I did.
它们正在我头皮毛囊欢快的起舞
And now they're cavorting at the base of my hair follicles
和红木国家森林公园里 那些嬉皮士一样
like dancing hippies at the Redwood National Forest.
Sheldon 你总是这样
Sheldon,you do this all the time.
脑子里满是妄想 没有一件事是真的
You fixate on some crazy idea and then blow it way out of proportion.
你给我举出一个例子来
Name one time I've ever done that.
那次你把导航仪扔掉
How about when you put GPS trackers in your garbage
就因为你认定朝鲜间谍 想偷你的设计图怎么说?
because you were convinced North Korean spies were stealing your doodles?
你认定吮指鸡块是人肉做的那次呢?
The chicken nuggets you were sure were human nuggets.
还有那次你说 附近有形状奇怪的云彩跟着你?
The strangely-shaped cloud that was following you around town.
还是你错把我的衬衫穿上 就认定你二次发育那次?
The time you put on my shirt by mistake and were convinced you'd started growing again.
我说"说一个" 你真得好好练练听力了
I said,"Name one." You really need to work on your listening skills.
Penny Penny Penny
Penny. Penny. Penny.
咋了?
Yello.
你得把那个椅子搬出这栋楼
You need to remove that chair from the building.
- 这是健康公害 - 好吧 放轻松
- It's a health hazard. - Okay,relax.
我拿下沙发套干洗了 还给垫子消了毒
I took off the slipcovers,had them dry-cleaned and then fumigated the cushions.
- 真的? - 可不是 比我自己沙发都干净
- Really? - Yeah. It's cleaner than my couch.
在里面找到半个芝士肉饼
Found half a Hot Pocket in there.
看起来还不错
It certainly looks okay.
闻起来有刺鼻的化学品味 真让人欣慰
Has a strong toxic chemical smell. That's reassuring.
试坐一下吧 Sheldon?
Why don't you give it a try,Sheldon?
好吧
All right.
真是个舒服的椅子
It is a comfortable chair.
你就承认你反应过度了吧?
Why don't you just admit you overreacted?
还是不了
No,thank you.
丫就跟一吉娃娃似的
It's like living with a Chihuahua.
Penny Penny Penny
Penny. Penny. Penny.
咋了 小娇花?
What's up,buttercup?
- 你还是得把椅子弄走 - 不要
- You have to get rid of the chair. - Nope.
Penny Penny Penny
Penny. Penny. Penny.
又怎么了 小蜂鸟?
What's the word,hummingbird?
为了你的安全着想 你先去我那儿等着
For your safety,please wait in my apartment
我好打给当局 让他们把这死亡之椅移走
as I call the authorities so they may remove the chair of death.
不要
No.
Penny! Penny! Penny!
Penny! Penny! Penny!
有啥要事 物理学家?
What's the gist,physicist?
生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory
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