生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S05E19
Part 2
Oct. 4, 2019, 2:26 p.m.
除紧急医疗事故外 我上次叫你帮忙 是啥时候的事了?
When is the last time I asked you to do something that wasn't a medical emergency?
昨天 你要我看看你耳朵里 是不是进了个瓢虫
Yesterday.You made me look in your ear to see if there was a ladybug in it.
- 好吧 看来我只能用B计划了 - 那是啥?
- All right,then,I have no choice but to go on to plan B. - What's that?
湿着头发出去跑步 好让自己感冒
I'm going to run around outside with a wet head and try to catch a cold.
- 早上好 - 好
- Good morning. - Hello.
你今天会很开心的
I think you're really going to enjoy yourself today.
你不仅可以见我的亲戚
Not only do you get to meet my relatives,
而且因为派对在我姑姑疗养院举♥行♥ 所有食物都会非常软
but since you aunt's nursing home is catering the party,all of the food is incredibly soft.
你的牙可以放个大假啦
It's like a vacation for your teeth.
好的
All right.
- 你确定你想去吗? - 确定
- You sure you're okay with this? - Yes.
我决定想办法既参与其中 又乐在其中
I decided to find a way that I could have this experience and enjoy it.
谢谢 这对我来说很重要
Thank you.That means a lot to me.
别谢我 谢谢无线科技吧
Oh,don't thank me.Thank wireless technology.
我意识到 我可以去你姑姑的破派对
I realized,I can go to your aunt's awful party
同时还能全天和朋友们玩游戏
and still spend the whole day gaming with my friends.
Sheldon 我的亲戚会跟你聊天的
Sheldon,my relatives are going to want to talk to you,
难道你就坐那儿玩游戏吗?
and you're going to be sitting there playing a game?
- 会不会有点失礼? - 这不用担心
- Isn't that a little rude? - Oh,I got that covered.
耳机 这样那群老家伙说啥 我都听不到了
Headset.I won't hear a word the old geezers are saying.
如果你觉得玩游戏比兑现承诺更重要
You know,if playing that game is more important to you than honoring your commitment to me,
而且你也不介意我一个人去参加
and you don't mind me showing up at a party all by myself
即便我已经告诉大家 我会带伴儿去 那行
after I've already told everybody I'll be bringing somebody,then,fine.
回家玩游戏去吧
Go home and play your game.
多谢
Thanks.
听着 我不介意你给我带块蛋糕
Ooh,listen,I wouldn't mind a piece of birthday cake,
只要你姑姑吹蜡烛时没喷口水
provided the old gal's candle blow is clean and dry.
都瞧好了
Here you go.
这场大战所需的物资都准备好了
I've got everything we'll need for the big game:
低脂火鸡肉干 低卡啤酒
lowfat turkey jerky... low-carb beer...
100卡路里的小吃包
100-calorie snack pack...
(都是减肥食品)
你买♥♥Y染色体没? 我看你没有呢
You pick up a Y chromosome while you were there?You might be short one.
(男性-XY 女性-XX)
***
我是在提高游戏水准 不是我的泳衣大小 多谢你了
Hey,I plan on leveling up in the game,not my swimsuit size,thank you very much.
先生们 这游戏让我们选择
Gentlemen,the game offers us a choice,
是玩正义方 共和国
between playing for the Republic and the light side,
还是邪恶方 西斯帝国
or the Sith Empire and the dark side.
我们总是选好人啊
Well,we're always the good guys.
玩"龙与地下城"时 我们是守序善良阵营 玩"英雄之城"时 我们是英雄
In D&D,we're lawful good,in City Of Heroes,we're the heroes,
玩"侠盗飞车"时 我们都付钱给妓♥女♥ 而不是拿球棒打她们
and Grand Theft Auto,we pay the prostitutes promptly,and never hit them with a bat.
她们是妓♥女♥?
Those women are prostitutes?
你说她们是在为干细胞研究筹款
You said they were raising money for stem cell research.
伙计们 我有个惊喜
Hey,guys,I got a surprise.
如果是女性通便酸奶的话 估计Raj先你一步买♥♥了
Uh,if it's yogurt that helps ladies poop,I think Raj beat you to it.
不是 Bernadette要跟我们一起玩
No.Bernadette's going to be playing with us.
很棒 是吧? 肯定很棒的
So,that's pretty cool,huh?Right?Sure it is,yeah.
什么 你邀请了你的女朋友? 这周末本是咱哥几个一起的
What,you invited your girlfriend?!This is supposed to be our weekend!
我也没办法
I had no choice.
昨晚 她说"明天我们去吃早午餐 然后去植物园吧?"
Last night,she said,"Why don't we go out for brunch tomorrow and then maybe the Arboretum.
我说"不行 我跟哥几个说好了 周末要跟他们玩游戏"
And I said,"Well,no,"I promised the guys I was going to play a video game with them all weekend.
然后她说 "听起来很好玩 我能加入吗?"
And she said,"That sounds like fun.Can I come,too?
我沉默了一小会儿 然后她说"你不想让我去吗?"
" And then I didn't answer for a second,and then she said,"Well,do you not want me to come?
我只好给她买♥♥了个新笔电和游戏碟 她现在在停车呢
And then I bought her a new laptop and the game,and she's parking the car right now.
现在适合用响鞭软件吗?
Is the whip sound app contextually appropriate here?
很适合 但你可能错过最佳时机了
Uh,it is,but I think you might've waited too long for it to be funny.
- 我错了 还是很好笑 - 那就好
- I was wrong; it's still funny. - Oh,good.
Amy 怎么了?
Amy,what's wrong?
我男友是个混♥蛋♥
My boyfriend's a jerk.
我知道他没偷吃 所以出什么事了?
Well,I know he didn't cheat on you,so what happened?
我一个人去了姑姑的聚会
I had to go to my aunt's party all by myself,
每个人都问 "你常提起的那男友呢?"
and everybody was like,"Where's this boyfriend you're always talking about?
"他是真的吗 还是像迷你马饲养员Armen那样"
"Is he real,or did you make him up like Armen"
"也是编出来的?"
the miniature horse breeder?
"谁是迷你马饲养员Armen?"
" Who's Armen the miniature horse breeder?
为了让我家人别烦我 而编造出的男友
The pretend boyfriend I invented to get my family off my back.
他们一问"你们在哪儿认识的?" 我就露馅了
It unraveled quickly when I couldn't answer the question "How'd you two meet?
我会说是在迷你马展上
" I would have thought at a miniature horse show.
这个不错
Oh,that's good.
我一慌就说成Woodstock了 (摇滚音乐节举办地)
I panicked and said Woodstock.
我就是想跟家人炫耀一下Sheldon
I just wanted to show Sheldon off to my family.
我明白 毕竟他是你初恋
Sure,I get that.I mean,he's your first boyfriend and all.
不仅仅是我的初恋 还是最佳男友
Not just my first boyfriend,he's the best boyfriend.
想想吧 我可是在和Sheldon Cooper交往啊
I mean,think about it.I'm dating Sheldon Cooper.
是啊 你还别有用心呢
Yes.On purpose.
他英俊 高挑 聪明绝顶
He's handsome,he's lanky,he's brilliant,
他的皮肤如蜡像般苍白
and his skin has that pale,waxy quality.
嗯 病态就是性感新标准
Well,sickly is the new sexy.
就是
Yeah.
Amy 如果你跟很喜欢的人交往
You know,Amy,sometimes when you're in a relationship with someone you really care about,
讨厌的就是 你很容易受伤害
the sucky part is,it leaves you open to getting hurt.
你会担心Leonard伤害你吗?
Do you ever worry about Leonard doing that to you?
怎么会呢 才不会
That's hilarious.No.
打他! 打他!
Get that guy!Get that guy!
Rostenkowski博士 你可能会想知道说"砰砰砰"
Dr.Rostenkowski,it may interest you to know that saying "pew,pew,pew"
还不如直接按下射击键
isn't as effective as pressing your blaster key.
还有 就算你再怎么喊"喂" 浮空飞艇也不会动
In the same way that saying "whee!" doesn't make the land speeder go.
(出自"愤怒的小鸟")
***
Raj 帝国士兵在你后面
Raj,Imperial Troopers on your tail.
去死吧
Got him.
当年甘地主张非暴♥力♥主义时
When Gandhi advocated his philosophy of non-violence,
他肯定不知道杀人有这么爽
I bet he didn't know how much fun it was killing stuff.
好了 全灭了 开始分装备吧
All right,I think we got them all.Let's divide up the loot.
看我这件漂亮的紫色长袍
Ooh,look at this pretty purple robe I just got.
你穿回你那件 我们就成情侣装了
You should put on yours and then we'll match.
但我好不容易才搞到这件盔甲
But I worked hard to get this armor.
不好意思 我只是想让别人知道 我们是一对
Sorry,I just thought it'd be nice if people knew we were a couple.
好吧 我换
Fine,I'll change.
我不太想玩游戏
I don't think I want to play a game.
来嘛 他们在那边玩他们的 我们玩我们的
Oh,come on!They're playing one across the hall-- we should,too.
好了 我们轮流在桌上弹硬币
Okay,we are gonna take turns bouncing a quarter off the table,
进到杯里的话 另一个人就得干一杯
and if it goes into this cup,the other person has to drink.
然后可以继续弹...
Then you get to go again...
像这样吗?
Like that?
是的 新手运气都比较好
Yeah,b-beginner's luck.
现在我♥干♥一杯啤酒 你继续...
So,now I will drink this entire cup of beer,and you will go again...
好吧 好吧 我先喝完这杯
All right.So,yeah,okay,now I'm gonna drink this entire cup
然后再喝另一杯
and then I'm going to drink another one.
好了 停 停 停 搞毛呢?
Okay,seriously,stop.What the hell?
儿时我经常往许愿池里丢硬币 祈求交到朋友
Spent a lot of my childhood throwing coins into wishing wells hoping for friends.
久而久之 就搞点花样增加乐趣
At a certain point,you start doing trick shots just to keep things interesting.
等等 我先喝完这些
Whoa,give me a second to catch up here.Hold on.
那肯定是我男朋友 宁愿和他朋友 玩那白♥痴♥"星际迷航"游戏
That'd be my boyfriend happier playing his dopey Star Trek game
也不愿意和我出去
with his friends than hanging out with me.
- 大战 - 什么?
- Wars. - What?
星球大战 你搞混的话他们会疯的
Star Wars.They get all cranky when you mix the two up.
- 有什么区别吗? - 完全没有
- What's the difference? - There's absolutely no difference.
怎么才能让他对我好点?
How do I get him to treat me better?
好吧 我教你点女友必备常识
All right.Let me give you a little girlfriend 101.
通常第一步是你不和他嘿♥咻♥
Usually the first move out of the gate is you withhold sex,
但那要等Sheldon到青春期后 才能管点用
but that will work better after Sheldon hits puberty.
所以 你应该...和他冷战
So,I'd say... give him the silent treatment.
不 那样他更开心
No,he loves that.
我们共处一室不说话的记录是 六个半小时
Our record for sitting in a room together and not speaking to each other is six-and-a half hours.
他说那晚感觉相当奇妙
He said it was a magical evening.
好吧 那只能用经典招了 大吵大闹
All right,then we're gonna have to go with an oldie but goodie; making a scene.
我做不来
I don't think I'd be good at that.
有我在呢
That's why you're lucky to have me.
姐在奥马哈时 有两家餐厅禁止我入内
Back in Omaha,there are two different restaurants I'm not allowed into.
都是小辣椒餐厅 (美食烧烤餐厅连锁)
Both Chili's.
Bermadette 你是我们队的治疗
生活大爆炸
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