生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S05E15
Part 2
Oct. 4, 2019, 2:26 p.m.
当然
Absolutely.
不过我妈挂掉后 就换你了 孩子
But when Ma's hips give out,you're up,kid.
既然Amy很忙 那为我服务的机会就让给你们了
Well,if Amy's too busy,that gives the rest of you an opportunity to make my life easier,
保证你能在我的传记上留下一笔 传记暂名为"不用谢 人类"
thus assuring yourselves a footnote in my memoirs,tentatively entitled You're Welcome,Mankind.
好了 你们想承担什么任务喊就行了
All right,then,just shout when you hear the task you want to undertake.
看牙医
Uh,dentist.
好吧 我们待会再讨论这条
Okay,w-we can circle back to that one.
谁想周三早上带我去 给我的皮鞋换鞋跟
Um,well,who wants to take me Wednesday morning to get new heels put on my dress shoes?
没人吗?
Anyone?
这活儿可有意思了
That one had hoot written all over it.
好了 看皮肤医生
Um,all right,uh,dermatologist.
过敏医生
Allergist.
足科医生
Podiatrist.
理发店?
Supercuts?
好吧 我想到个有趣的
Okay,okay,here's a fun one.
我需要一个新相框 也想吃瑞典肉丸
Um,I need a new picture frame and I have a hankering for Swedish meatballs.
谁想跟我一起去宜家?
Who wants to spend the day with me at IKEA?
- 那里的肉丸超好吃 - 你说什么?
- Their meatballs are pretty good. - What's that?
没什么 没什么
Nothing,nothing.
你好 Stuart
Hello,Stuart.
嘿 Sheldon
Oh,hey,Sheldon.
今天要我帮你找点什么吗?
Can I help you find something today?
不用
No,no.
我刚坐在家里想
I was just sitting at home
找我的第九名好友 打发下时间应该不错
thinking about how it might be nice to catch up with my ninth favorite person.
- 第九名? - 你上升了一名
- Ninth? - You moved up one.
我的索马里笔友被海盗绑♥架♥了
My pen pal in Somalia was kidnapped by pirates.
你怎么样?
So,uh... how are you?
不是很好
Uh... not so good.
我的心理医生刚刚自杀
My shrink just killed himself and...
还在遗嘱里责怪我
blamed me in the note.
不错 不错
Great.Great.
那你家里有什么新鲜事吗?
So,what's new with your family?
你妈妈怎么样?
How's your mother?
- 她还活着吧? - 是的
- Is she alive? - Yeah.
你♥爸♥呢? 也活着?
And your father?Alive?
是的
Yes.
你的祖父母呢 他们还活着吗?
How about your grandparents,they alive?
没有
No.
请节哀顺变
Oh,I'm so sorry for your loss.
给你说个好事 我下午要去洁牙
On a cheerier note,I have a teeth-cleaning appointment this afternoon.
你带我去怎么样 伙计?
What do you say you take me over there,buddy boy?
等等 你要我带你去看牙医?
I'm sorry,you want me to take you to the dentist?
是的 虽然我无法保证
Yes.Now,I can't make any promises,
但你做了这事 可能就会成为 我好友名单上的第八名哦
but that's the sort of thing that gets a fella on the short list for the number eight friend slot.
Sheldon 我在工作 没法带你去看牙医
Sheldon,I'm working.I can't take you to the dentist.
并且 我得强调一下
Also-- and I can't stress this enough--
我也不想去
I don't want to take you to the dentist.
在朋友需要帮助时视而不见 是吧?
Can't help a friend out in a time of need,huh?
我知道你为啥要看医生了
I see where your therapist was coming from.
你的宇航员外号♥就叫 Howard-巴斯-Wolowitz怎么样?
What about we make your astronaut nickname Howard "Buzz" Wolowitz?
不能叫巴斯 巴斯有人叫了
You can't do "Buzz." "Buzz" is taken.
"巴斯光年"是假的啊 (出自"玩具总动员")
Buzz Lightyear is not real.
我不是这意思
No,that's not what I'm talking about.
那意思是 他以为自己是真的吗
Well,are you talking about when he thought he was real?
不是
No.
好吧 那"撞击"呢?
Okay,um... how about "Crash"?
Howard-撞击-Wolowitz
Howard "Crash" Wolowitz.
很好 别人肯定喜欢和一个名叫 "坠毁"的家伙上太空的
Yeah,terrific.The other astronauts would love to go hurtling through space with a guy named "Crash.
(Crash的两个意思)
***
那叫"火箭超人"吧?
" All right,um,how about... Oh,how about "Rocket Man"?
还不赖 Howard-火箭超人-Wolowitz
That's not bad,Howard "Rocket Man" Wolowitz.
是不错 不过外号♥叫啥我说了不算
Yeah,it's great,but I told you,I don't get to pick my nickname.
这得由别的宇航员取
It has to come from the other astronauts.
那想办法让他们取这外号♥呗
Maybe there's a way to get them to come up with it.
比如说?
Like how?
有次我带着"邓肯"牌溜溜球
Once I tried carrying around a Duncan yo-yo,
想让别的小朋友叫我"邓肯"
hoping the other kids would start calling me Duncan.
结果呢?
Did it work?
结果他们叫我 "袜子嘴"
No,they ended up calling me Sock Mouth.
因为他们抢走了我的溜溜球 还把袜子塞我嘴里
Because they took away my yo-yo and stuffed their socks in my mouth.
好 我们把"火箭超人" 设成你的手♥机♥铃♥声♥
Okay,uh,what if we make "Rocket Man" your ringtone,
下次你跟他们聊天时 我打给你 他们就能听到了
and the next time you talk to those guys,I'll call you and they'll hear it.
预先准备好
Plant the seed.
这计划还不错
That's actually not a terrible plan.
我"棕色炸♥弹♥"的名字 可不是白叫的
They don't call me "Brown Dynamite" for nothing.
- 好 - 好
- 'Sup? - 'Sup?
你去看牙医了吗?
Hey,did you ever make it to the dentist?
没有 不必了
Not necessary.No.
我找到一项服务 他们会开车到你家做洁牙
I found a service that'll send a van to your house for a teeth cleaning.
大多数是给狗做 不过
Mostly they cater to dogs,but...
接电♥话♥那家伙挺好说话的
...the fellow on the phone seemed to have an open mind.
这样 Sheldon 如果你需要我
All right,Sheldon,if you need me to take you to the dentist,
我会带你去看牙医
I will take you to the dentist.
你是说 你良心发现了
Are you suggesting that you've come to your senses
你希望恢复完整版室友协议? 重建咱俩的互惠互利?
and wish to reestablish the mutual benefits that stem from full participation in the Roommate Agreement?
正是如此
Absolutely.
如果你承认你30岁了 还没有自理能力的话
If you admit that you're a 30-year-old man who's incapable of functioning on his own.
"袜子嘴"让他无言以对了
Ooh,Sock Mouth's got him on the ropes.
我才不会承认莫须有的事情
I will admit nothing of the sort.
现在呢 如果你不介意的话 我要给我的牙医打电♥话♥了
And now if you'll excuse me,I have to call my dentist
看能不能帮我洗洗头发 剪剪指甲
and see if I can also get my hair shampooed and my nails clipped.
很好 你也停电了
Oh,good,your power's out,too.
那有什么好的?
Why is that good?
因为上个月我给电力公♥司♥ 寄了张星巴克礼券
Because last month,I sent the electric company a Starbucks gift card,
一封道歉信 还有用胸罩包着的几张自♥拍♥照
an apology note,and a few snapshots of me in a bra.
停电啦
Power failure.
执行停电方案
Implementing power-failure protocol.
你漆在地上的荧光紧急出口标记 去哪儿了?
What happened to all your glow- in-the-dark-emergency-exit stuff you had painted on the floor?
那个太致癌了
Oh,that was wildly carcinogenic.
总之 很可惜你不再 完全受惠于我的友谊
Anyway... it's too bad you're no longer entitled to the full benefits of my friendship,
因为我刚好未雨绸缪
because I happen to be extremely prepared for such an emergency.
请不要借这束光看任何东西
Please try not to see anything by this light.
你不准看
It's not for you.
停电而已 我肯定一会儿就来电了
It's just a blackout; I'm sure the power will be back on soon.
我也肯定"Dooner党"的某个傻瓜说 雪随时会停的
And I'm sure some fool in the Donner party said the snow would stop any day now.
(美西进淘金党其中一支 全员因天灾死去过半)
***
我觉得他们一开始就该吃了他
I like to think they ate him first.
(因饥饿出现过吃人惨剧)
***
我房♥间里有蜡烛
You know,I got some candles in my apartment.
蜡烛? 停电的时候?
But candles?!During a blackout?!
你疯了? 那是火灾隐患
Are you mad?That's a fire hazard.
不行 帕萨迪纳市水利电力部 推荐更为安全的荧光棒
No,Pasadena Water and Power recommends the far safer glow stick.
你那也叫荧光棒?
You call that a glow stick?
这才叫荧光棒
That is a glow stick.
咱们走
Come on,let's go.
走之前 先听我说一句
Before you go,consider this.
我不仅有一块深循环航海电源
Not only do I have a deep-cycle marine battery power source
给我们的娱乐系统供电 完全没问题
which is more than capable of running our entertainment system,
我还有BBC出品的 "红矮星号♥"61集全集
I also have all 61 episodes of the BBC series Red Dwarf...
还有糖衣爆米花
and Fiddle-Faddle.
只要你愿意恢复室友协议 这些都是你的了
All yours if you're willing to reinstate the Roommate Agreement.
我那儿有红酒 还有可以捏的泡泡膜
I've got wine at my place and some bubble wrap we could pop.
他会回来的
Oh,he'll be back.
红酒加黑暗中的女子 他会烦死的
Wine and a girl in the dark-- he's gonna be bored out of his mind.
敬红酒和泡泡膜
To wine and bubble wrap.
以及不用看Sheldon演示 他那逆向渗透机
And to not having to watch Sheldon demonstrate his reverse osmosis machine
把尿变成饮用水
that converts urine into drinking water.
我当女童军时 Tammie Dineesha说 用连裤♥袜♥就能搞定
You know,in Girl Scouts,Tammie Dineesha said you could do that with panty hose.
天啊 她真是错了
Boy,was she wrong.
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