生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S05E09
Part 1
Oct. 4, 2019, 2:25 p.m.
你今天中午休班?
You work the lunch shift?
是的 拿了八斤要变质的鲑鱼
Yeah.I've got eight pounds of salmon that's about to go bad.
你知道怎么做吗?
Do you know how to cook it?
不知道
Not really.
该死 早知道就顺那些问题鸡肉了
Damn it.Should have liberated the iffy chicken.
你和苦逼脸博士今晚准备干啥?
What are you and Professor Fussyface up to tonight?
蓝♥光♥版"星球大战"
Star Wars on Blu-ray.
你都看过几千遍了吧?
Haven't you seen that movie,like,a thousand times?
蓝♥光♥的没有
Not on Blu-ray.
就看过两遍
Only twice on Blu-ray.
Leonard啊
Oh,Leonard.
没办法 这就是高清的悲哀
I know,it's high-resolution sadness.
我今晚要自己出去看电影
Well,I'm going to take myself out to a movie tonight.
要一块去吗?
You want to go?
真的? 这样好吗?
Really?Do we do that?
什么意思?
What do you mean?
分手后我们就没有单独处过
You know,we haven't spent time alone together since we broke up.
Leonard 不是约会啦
Oh,it's not a date,Leonard.
只是一男一女出去玩 之后不上♥床♥
It's just a man and a woman hanging out,not having sex at the end of the night.
貌似我的约会都这样
Sounds like most of my dates.
神啊 离我远点 你这个怪物
Oh,dear Lord,get away from me,you monster!
怎么回事?
What is that about?
他很聪明 又那么疯狂 也许自己创造了只怪物
Well,he's smart and crazy enough,he may have actually created a monster.
去 去! 快走!
Shoo,shoo!Be gone!
到底什么问题?
What the hell is going on?
窗外有只鸟 怎么赶也不走
There's a bird outside the window,and he won't go away.
这就是该死的问题
That is the hell that is going on.
我们这里没有虫子和种子
We have no worms or seeds here.
搞笑吧? 各方面都很牛逼 居然怕鸟?
Really?On top of everything else,you're afraid of birds?
学名叫恐鸟症
It's called ornithophobia.
总有一天会被列为精神类缺陷
And someday it will be recognized as a true disability,
房♥东就会被强制要求 在房♥子外边装上巨大的防护网
and the landlord will be required by law to put a giant net over the building.
不幸的是 我也害怕网
Which is unfortunate,because I have a fear of nets.
看电影 去不去?
So movies,yes or no?
去
Movies,yes.
很好 待会见
Great.I'll see you later.
别怕 他比你更怕
And remember,he's more afraid of you than you are of him.
这话没啥用
That doesn't help.
我在跟那只鸟说呢
No,I was talking to the bird.
走开 破鸟 走开 破鸟 走开 破鸟
Go away,bird.Go away,bird.Go away,bird.
Sheldon 别管他了
Sheldon,just ignore him.
好主意 鸟就是喜欢被人看
Good idea. Attention is what birds want.
好多了
Oh,much better.
好了 现在过我的正常生活
All right. Now I'll just get along with my life.
煮一壶茶 Leonard 今晚会很漫长
Make a pot of tea,Leonard.It's going to be a long night.
那只鸟还在?
The bird's still there?
快 老鹰怎么叫的?
Quick,what does a hawk sound like?
不清楚... 咕... 咕
I don't know-- scree-scree.
算了吧 那是海鸥叫
Please,that's a seagull.
不会就不要瞎帮忙
If you're not going to help,don't help.
对不起 我是不是穿得太正式了?
Sorry.Do you think I'm overdressed?
看你要干吗了
It depends on the activity.
去做前列腺检查的话 有点
For a prostate exam,yes.
去拉斯维加斯的话 镶点闪片比较好
If you're playing Vegas,I'd add sequins.
我要和Penny去看电影
I'm going to the movies with Penny.
我不想让她以为 我当成是约会
I don't want her to think that I think it's a date.
你认为是约会吗?
Do you think it's a date?
不是 但她会以为我以为是个约会 虽然我没那么想
No,but she might think I think it's a date even though I don't.
或者你以为她以为你以为是个约会 虽然她不那么想
Or you might think she thinks you think it's a date even though she doesn't.
- 是不是想过了? - 一点都不
- Are we overthinking this? - Not at all.
好的 没事 我就这么穿
You're right.I'm fine. I'm wearing this.
真的? 西装外套?
Really? A blazer?
好吧
All right.
喂 你好 我是Sheldon Cooper博士
Yes,hello.This is Dr.Sheldon Cooper.
我住在北罗夫莱斯大道2311号♥
I'm at 2311 North Robles Avenue.
我要报告一只危险动物
I'd like to report a dangerous wild animal.
一只冠蓝鸦
A blue jay.
不好意思 是动物管理中心吧
I'm sorry,this is Animal Control.
我不明白笑声代表什么
I don't understand the laughter.
不 那只鸟没在屋里
No the bird is not in my home.
如果在屋里 我就直接拨110了
If he was in my home,I obviously would have called 911.
先生 我敢肯定你也有害怕的东西
Sir,I have no doubt that there are things that you're frightened of.
当个没前途的公务员
Being stuck in a dead-end public service job.
或者老婆跑了 因为你是个没前途的公务员
Or your wife stepping out on you because you're stuck in a dead-end public service job.
或者蜘蛛
Or spiders.
你以为我没学过猫叫吗?
Don't you think I tried making cat noises?
太随意了?
Too casual?
去看"皇后乐队"的话 有点
For an audience with the queen,yes.
围着垃圾桶里的火 几个人喝一瓶烈酒的话 很合适
For an evening of passing a bottle of fortified wine around a flaming trash can,you look great.
想啥呢? 没画胡须
What am I thinking?Whiskers.
嘿 快点的话 我们能赶上 Jennifer Aniston的新电影
Oh,hey,if we hurry,we can make the new Jennifer Aniston movie.
("老友记"的Rachel)
***
是啊 当然
Oh,yeah,sure.
还有一部很不错的纪录片 讲在南美筑水坝的故事
There's also an amazing documentary about building a dam on a river in South America.
好的 但Jennifer Aniston的电影有 Jennifer Aniston 而且她没筑水坝
Okay,but the Jennifer Aniston movie has Jennifer Aniston,and she's not building a dam.
没话说了
Can't argue with that.
- 我去买♥♥票 - 好的
- I'll get the tickets. - Okay.
等等
Actually,you know what?
我觉得这次该换我挑电影
I think it's about time I picked a movie we see.
你挑过好多次啦
You pick plenty of movies.
没 一直都是你挑的 而且每次看的都一类型
No.You always picked,and it was always the same.
一个半小时的雨中海滨别♥墅♥镜头 然后那女人回过头 发现真爱就在身边
An hour and a half of beach houses in the rain until the woman turns around and realizes love was here all along.
哪有 那部电影很好看的 过10分钟就开始了
Come on,that is a great movie,and it starts in ten minutes.
我不喜欢那些电影
I hate those movies.
- 不 你喜欢 - 不 我不喜欢
- No,you don't. - Yes,I do.
我来这的唯一原因是 因为你想看 而我想和你上♥床♥
The only reason I went is because you wanted to see them,and I wanted to have sex.
现在每次看到Sandra Bullock的海报 就会很烦躁 同时还有性冲动
To this day,I can't see a Sandra Bullock movie poster without getting both bored and aroused.
好吧 我俩好的时候 为了滚床单 假装迎合我 这种事你干了多少次？
Okay,so while we were going out,how often would you pretend to like things just to have sex with me?
一直干啊
All the time.
你鬼扯呢
You're kidding.
以下句式是否似曾相识?
Does this sound familiar?
我超爱和你一起去买♥♥鞋子
I'd love to go shoe shopping with you.
远足? 棒极了
Hiking?It's great.
现在是凌晨两点 我超想去韩国城 跟你朋友K歌♥的
It's 2:00 a.m.,of course I want to go to Korea Town and sing karaoke with your friends.
谁不想啊
Who wouldn't?
问题是 我俩当时好着呢
Okay,we were going out.
无论如何 我俩都要滚床单的
You were going to get sex anyway.
是吗? 等看完三小时的水坝纪录片 你还会性趣盎然?
Really?You would have slept with me after a three-hour documentary on dams?
是个女人都不会
No.No woman would.
看吧 这才是现在的美妙之处
See?Now,that's the great thing.
我俩现在是朋友 这不算约会 也不用考虑嘿♥咻♥的事
We're out as friends.This is not a date.Sex is off the table.
所以 我俩去学习学习 为啥水力发电 不像人们想的那样对环境有益
So,let's go learn how hydroelectric power might not be the environmental bargain you think it is.
不好意思 剧透了
Sorry.Spoiler alert.
好吧好吧
All right,fine.
多谢
Thanks.
11块大洋一张票
Tickets are 11 bucks.
这又不是约会
Not a date.
来嘛 Sheldon 来看星球大战
Come on,Sheldon,Star Wars.
我要按"开始"了 我是认真的
I'm pushing play.I mean it.
再不开始看的话 George Lucas又要改了
If we don't start soon,George Lucas is going to change it again.
(星战导演)
***
要是你能用下你在技校里学的知识
This would go a lot faster if you put your trade school diploma to work
帮我弄好这台高频音频发声器的话 那就快多了
and helped me set up this high-frequency tone generator.
我是麻省理工的硕士
I have a Masters degree from M.I.T.
是啊 可是你学到了吃苦耐劳的精神 那才是重要的
Yeah,but you've got a can-do attitude and that's what's important.
真搞不懂鸟哪里招你了
I really don't get your problem with birds.
你应该问 我哪里招他们了?
The question you should be asking is what is their problem with me?
生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory
剧集 | 生活大爆炸 | 导航列表