生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S05E22

Part 2 Oct. 4, 2019, 2:26 p.m.

Amy 不要
Amy,please.
谨记谁在上位谁婚后就是老大
Keeping in mind that whoever's on top may set the tone for the marriage.
好吧不要玩了
Okay,show's over.
嘿他们可能在婚礼当晚怀上孩子
Hey,they may conceive a child on their wedding night.
你不认为孩子有权知道是怎么发生的吗?
Don't you think the kid might get a kick out of knowing how it happened?
我才不关心
I don't care.
问她别的问题像"你要跟Howard姓吗?"
Ask her things like "Are you going to take Howard's name?
而不是"谁在谁上面"
Not "Who's going to sit on who.
我会连起来姓
I've actually been thinking I'm going to hyphenate:
Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski-Wolowitz
Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski-Wolowitz.
不错
Nice.
你应该在别人抢注之前赶紧去给这名字注册个网站
You know,you should totally get Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski-Wolowitz.com before someone snaps it up.
Howard已经搞定了
Howard already took care of it.
他还建了我们婚礼的网站里面有我们的家族历史
Plus,he set up our beautiful wedding Web site with cute little facts about our family histories.
在波兰时我家和他家就住隔壁呢
Do you know,for a while in Poland,my family and his family were neighbors.
太酷了
Oh,that's cool.
不一点都不酷待会解释给你听
No,it's not.I'll explain it to you later.
安静请注意了
May I have your attention,please?
今晚我们庆祝我的挚友 Howard Wolowitz即将到来的婚礼
We are hear tonight to celebrate the upcoming nuptials of my best friend Howard Wolowitz.
- 干杯 - 干杯
- Hear! - Hear!
显然也是Wil Wheaton的挚友
And,apparently,Wil Wheaton's best friend.
- Sheldon... - 别烦我
- Sheldon... - Talk to the hand.
哪位有话想对咱今夜的主角说吗?
Does anyone have any words they'd like to say about our man of the evening?
我
I do.
遵从传统我准备了些调侃Howard的贱笑话
As is the tradition,I have prepared a series of disrespectful jokes which generate humor at Howard's expense.
准备好笑破肚皮吧
Prepare to have your ribs tickled...
Howard
Howard...
我一直以为我们之中你是最后结婚的因为你就是个矮挫丑
I always thought you'd be the last one of us to ever get married,because you are so short and unappealing.
对吧?
Am I right?
来这条
Let's see here.
讲真的了 Howard 你是我认识的人中最聪明的
Oh,seriously though,Howard,you're actually one of the most intelligent people I know.
骗你的其实不是
And that's a zinger,because you're not.
我一直以为有天你会成为一位优秀的丈夫
I've always thought that you'd make someone a fine husband someday.
但你先得弄到零件
Assuming you'd be able to get the parts,
再提高下工程技术把老婆组装起来但我觉得不太可能
and develop the engineering skills to assemble them,which I don't see as likely.
好笑吧
Hacha!
好我看看
Okay... Let me see here.
好不开玩笑了 Howard 你是个好朋友
Okay,kidding aside-- Howard,you are a good friend.
我希望你能幸福快乐
And I wish you nothing but happiness.
逗你玩并没有
Bazinga,I don't!
- Sheldon - 还是逗你玩我有
- Sheldon... - Doubleazinga!I do!
还好跟了这句
Good luck following that.
Howard Wolowitz要婚啦
So,Howard Wolowitz tying the knot.
他那疯狂的单身日子已成过去
Leaving his crazy bachelor days behind.
他原来可疯了
He was a wild one.
我们应该都是吧
Well,I guess we all kind of were.
我记得有一次我跟一妹子去沙滩
I remember this one time,I was with this girl at the beach.
我们下到海里开始亲热
We were in the ocean and we started making out.
我知道超疯的
I know,it was crazy.
我都没穿防水鞋
I wasn't even wearing my Aquasocks.
- 然后... - 没人想听 Hofstadter 赶紧着
- Then... - Nobody cares,Hofstadter.Wrap it up.
好
Right.
- 敬Howard - 敬Howard
To Howard.To Howard.
我在海里打了一炮
I totally had sex in the ocean.
好我来
Okay,I'll go.
Howard 想到你跟Bernadette 携手开始美好的人生旅程
Howard,when I think about you and Bernadette starting this wonderful life together,
我不禁有点哽咽
I can't help but get a little choked up.
我是说瞧瞧你啊
I mean... look at you.
你拥有一切
You have everything.
瞧瞧我
Look at me.
都37了
I'm 37.
还睡在漫画店后面骨密度相当于80岁老头
I sleep in the back of a comic book store,and I have the bone density of an 80-year-old man.
敬Howard
To Howard.
嗯敬Howard
Yeah,to Howard.Yes...
谁还要说?
Um,uh,who's next?
我来
I'll go.
Howard 我想说件事大家心里都嘀咕呢只是没胆说
Howard,I'm gonna say something to you that everybody's thinking but no one has the courage to say out loud.
你邀请哥们来单身派对其中含义就是会有脱衣舞娘
When you invite a man to a bachelor party,the implication is,there will be strippers.
也不用全♥裸♥的啦但起码要有贴胸贴穿丁字裤的吧
Maybe not completely nude,but at least pasties and G-strings.
你这太坑爹了
That's not unreasonable.
- 干杯 - 干杯
- Hear,hear. - Hear,hear.
还有人吗?
Okay,uh,anybody else? Huh?
没啦
No?
那就该我这伴郎了
Okay,it all comes down to me,the best man.
这蚱蜢酒还真让我脑仁乱跳呢
This grasshopper is kicking my ass-hopper.
好我刚来这国家时不知道该如何交流如何穿着
Okay,okay,when I first came to this country,I-I didn't know how to behave or how to dress,
还有怎么扮酷我当时挺寂寞的
or what was cool...I was pretty lonely.
但然后我就遇到了Howard 突然我的人生就变了
But then I met Howard,and suddenly,my life changed,
因为我们可以一起寂寞
because we could be lonely together.
这男人成了我的全世界
This man became my whole world.
说得好妹子
Yeah,nice speech,Francine.
我没说完呢但谢啦
I'm not done,but thank you.
我回忆起...
I think back....
我们一起经历的美好时光
...to all the good times we had,like,uh,
比如我们去露营那晚我俩互相倾诉彼此的秘密
when we went camping and spent that night telling each other all our secrets.
我说我是恋脚癖他说他的初夜给了他表姐
I told him I'm addicted to pedicures and he told me he lost his virginity to his cousin.
是远房♥的啦
She was my second cousin.
也是你第一位让她性趣全失的女人
And the first woman you ever disappointed sexually.
逗了个逗你玩
Ba-da-bazinga!
还有次 Leonard和我带Howard去拉斯维加斯
Oh... oh,yeah,and then there was the time when Leonard and I took Howard to Las Vegas
我俩请了个妓♥女♥ 让她假装是犹太人还想吃他的小黄瓜
and paid a hooker to pretend she was Jewish and that she wanted his little kosher pickle.
在所有"Howard上妓♥女♥"的故事中这是我的最爱
Of all the "Howard humping hookers" stories,that one's my favorite!
好了哥们够了
Okay,buddy,that's it.
坐吧
Sit down.
动漫展那个穿美少女战士装的胖妞是怎么回事来着?
Oh,oh,what about that tubby girl in the Sailor Moon costume at Comic-con?
不记得了快坐下吧
Don't remember.Please sit down.
我人生唯一一次3P 我很骄傲因为是跟这哥们一起的
The only threesome I've ever had in my life,and I'm proud to say it was with this man right here.
快闭嘴吧
Oh,please shut up.
别误会了我跟Howard没怎么着
Oh,oh,don't get me wrong,nothing happened with me and Howard.
我俩之间隔着个90公斤重的美少女战士呢
There was about 200 pounds of Sailor Moon between us.
互联网啊这视频肯定火了
Oh,Internet,this is so going all over you.
哇塞我醉了
Jeepers,I'm drunk.
谢谢你接我们
Thank you for picking us up.
威士忌酒瓶上有条警告
There's a warning,right there,on the scotch bottle.
喝多了以后不准操作重机械小伙子
You cannot be operatin' heavy machinery after you had a snootful of this,laddie!
有意思
Funny.
你们玩得开心吗?
You boys have a nice time?
嗯挺不错的
Yeah,it was great.
如我保证的那样很低调
Low-key,like I promised.
没恶作剧没请脱衣舞娘
No hanky-panky,no strippers.
就是一群爷们瞎扯淡
Just the guys telling jokes.
不错
That's nice.
你呢? 你今晚开心吗?
How about you?Did you have a fun night?
嗯我们准备礼品袋喝了酒然后上网看到了这个
Yeah,we,uh,made gift bags,had wine,and then went online and saw this.
在所有"Howard上妓♥女♥"的故事中这是我的最爱
Of all the "Howard humping hookers" stories,that one's my favorite.
这里离我家也不远
You know,we're not that far from my apartment.
你停车的话我走着回去就行
If you stop the car,I can walk from here.
你哪里也别想去 3P男
You ain't goin' anywhere,Threeway.
- Bernadette 听好 - 你骗了我
- Bernadette,listen... - You lied to me.
你说你交往过的女孩你都交代全了
You said you told me about all the girls you've been with,
可你没提过你表姐妓♥女♥和Raj
but you never mentioned your cousin,the prostitute or Raj!
其实你也不用停车啦
Seriously,you don't even have to stop the car.
只要时速在十英里下我就能滚到街上去
Anything under ten miles an hour and I can combat-roll into the street.
澄清一下那妓♥女♥不是我招的是他们送我的礼物
Okay,just to set the record straight,I didn't hire the prostitute,she was a gift from him.
真无♥耻♥ Raj
Shame on you,Raj.
在这国家可不能那么对女人
That is not how we treat women in this country.
别想怪他身上
Don't you try and blame this on him.
谢谢 Bernadette
Thank you,Bernadette.
闭嘴变♥态♥
Zip it,pervert!
我不知道该怎么办了
I don't know what I'm going to do.