生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S05E07
Part 2
Oct. 4, 2019, 2:25 p.m.
Good morning,Sheldon.
确实早啊 不是吗?
It is,isn't it?
哦 真烦
Oh,bother.
怎么老是这样
Isn't that just always the way?
你要订什么东西的时候 就发现没订书钉了
You go to staple something,and you're out of staples.
哎呀 我刚去过文具店 要是早知道就好了
Gosh,I wish I'd known that earlier today when I was at Staples.
你那不是还有曲别针嘛
You have a thing of paper clips right there.
不 我需要能永久性固定的东西
No,no,I need something more permanent to join these papers.
话说 你不是都把订书钉 放在最上层的抽屉吗?
Say,don't you keep staples in your top desk drawer?
是吗 可能吧
I don't know. Maybe.
帮个忙 看看呗
Be a lamb and check.
好吧
All right.
- 看看谁在这儿? - 那是条蛇
- Who do we have here? - It's a snake.
一条吓死人的蛇
A terrifying snake.
哪个坏蛋把你关抽屉里了?
Oh,did some bad man put us in a drawer?
别用那种语气说话
Stop talking like that.
你已经吓到语无伦次了
You've been rendered speechless by fear.
我们去生物实验室 给你找只美味的老鼠吧
Let's go to the biology lab and find you some nice yummy mice.
我怎么会拿蛇来吓印度人
I tried to scare an Indian with a snake.
振作 Cooper 你可没这么二
Come on,Cooper.You're better than this.
门开着
It's open.
嘿 有时间吗?
Hey,you got a minute?
当然 进来吧
Yeah,sure,come on in.
谢谢
Thanks.
要吃点奶酪通心粉吗?
Want some mac and cheese?
不了 有乳糖 会放屁
No.Lactose.Gas.
来杯酒?
Glass of wine?
也不了 亚硫酸盐 会头痛
No.Sulfites.Migraines.
好吧 本想给你万圣节糖果的 但又吃没了
Okay,well,I'd offer you Halloween candy,but that's gone.
什么事?
So,what's up?
我们以前交往过 对吧?
Okay,we used to go out,right?
天哪 怪不得你这么面熟呢
Oh,my God,that's where I know you from.
我碰到了点感情上的问题
I'm dealing with a situation and it's kind of about my love life,
和你谈有点别扭 但这里
so I know that might be weird for us to talk about,but in this area,
你懂的 我其他哥们都太业余了
as you know,all my other friends are just so stupid.
好吧 咋了?
All right,what's going on?
- 那 你不介意聊这个吧? - 不介意
- So,you're okay talking about this? - Yes.
- 你确定这不别扭 - 没关系的
- You're sure it's not weird. - It's okay.
要是你想和我聊聊 你和男人之间的问题
You know what,if you ever want to talk to me about a problem in your life
我是不介意啦
with a guy,then I would be fine with that.
那行 我以前的一个交往对象
Okay,good,because there's this one guy I used to date
他要是满嘴废话 我就逼他吃奶酪喝酒
who's about to be force-fedwine and cheese if he doesn't get to the point.
好吧
Okay,uh...
是这样的
here it is.
这样算不算出轨 他已经有女朋友了..
Is it cheating if a guy has a girlfriend...
算
Yeah,probably.
- 别这样嘛 - 我错了 你继续
- Come on. - I'm sorry,go ahead.
我认识了个女孩 她超赞的
I met this girl,and she's great.
我们很谈得来
we have a lot in common.
你俩那啥了没?
Did you guys do it?
没 就拉拉小手 亲亲小嘴什么的
No. We just made out a little.
啧啧 瞧瞧你 小荡夫
Oh,look at you,you bad boy.
你跟她提过Priya吗?
Did you tell her about Priya?
我想提来着 但我嘴里都是舌头
Well,I was gonna,but there were too many tongues in my mouth.
真恶心
That's gross.
是这样的 我不是那种随随便便 跟别人睡觉的花♥花♥公♥子♥
Here's the thing,I-I'm not one of those guys who sneaks around and sleeps with more than one woman.
这不错
Well,good for you.
问题是 我也想当陈老师
The problem is,I want to be one of those guys.
好吧 跟那个新女孩嘿♥咻♥ 骗Priya
So sleep with the new girl and lie to Priya.
我不会那样做的
Oh,that's not who I am.
好吧 跟那个新女孩分手
All right,then break it off with the new girl.
不要冲动行事 她超辣的
Now,let's not do anything rash.She's really hot.
你要这么喜欢这女孩 为啥不跟Priya分手呢?
If you like this girl so much,why don't you just end things with Priya?
我和Priya彼此倾心
Priya and I are in love.
我以为我俩以后会结婚的
I think we could get married someday.
Leonard 你在想法子 把两个女人搞到手 并让两人都满意
Leonard,you're looking for a way to sleep with both women and have everybody be happy about it.
看来我们有点共识了
Now we're getting somewhere.
你内心是什么想法?
What does your gut tell you?
"去问Penny 她知道咋办"
"Go ask Penny;she'll know what to do."
嗨 Howard 我知道你吓唬我 是开玩笑的
Hello,Howard.I've realized that you scaring me was all in jest.
请允许我说一句 好样的
Allow me to say,job well done.-
完美
Perfect.
你干啥呢?
What are you doing?
科学 你不懂的
Science.You wouldn't understand.
好吧 回见 我出去下
Hey,well,see you.I'm going out.
我刚以为你要走呢
I thought you were leaving the apartment.
我也是 我没法下定决心
Yeah,me,too.I can't make up my mind.
你担心外面都是大狗和流氓吗?
Are you concerned because the world is filled with big dogs and bullies?
不 我在遭受道德的考验
No.I'm having a moral crisis.
好吧 要是这有用的话 我研究过所有伟大哲学家的著作
Well,if it's of any help,I've read all the great moral philosophers,
包括苏斯博士(儿童作家)
including Dr.Seuss.
算了 管它呢
Oh,what the hell.
我准备去见那个 在漫画店碰到的女孩 Alice
I'm supposed to go see that girl from the comic book store,Alice,
但我不知道该不该去 因为我在和Priya交往 可她人在印度
but I don't know if I should,because I'm going out with Priya,but she's in India.
好吧
All right.
所以现在的议题是有关爱情忠诚度
So the topic at hand is sexual fidelity.
这里应该用不到苏斯的理论
Probably won't be relying on Seuss here.
尽管我觉得 <一条鱼 两条鱼 红色鱼 蓝色鱼>
Although One Fish,Two Fish,Red Fish,Blue Fish
很适合现在的情况(苏斯代表作)
might be surprisingly applicable.
继续说
Go on.
好吧...有人说在生命的尽头
Well... they say at the end of your life,
比起干过的事情 人会更追悔自己没有干的事
you regret the stuff you didn't do more than the stuff that you did,
我现在确定Alice是我想"干"的
and I'm pretty sure Alice is the stuff I want to do.
你知道 著名的德国哲学家 弗里德里希·尼采
You know,the German philosopher,Friedrich Nietzsche,
他说过道德是一群下等人编造的
believed that morality is just a fiction used by the herd of inferior human beings
用来约束极少数天才
to hold back the few superior men.
说得有点道理
That actually does help.
顺带一提 他死于梅毒
It's worth noting tha the died of syphilis.
管他呢 我走了
Screw it,I'm going.
回家的时候 你能买♥♥点橘子汁回来吗?
On your way home,will you pick up some orange juice?
你确定? 我现在脑子里一堆疑问
Do you mind?I'm questioning a lot of things in my life right now.
包括你对橘子汁的喜好吗?
Is one of those things your fondness for orange juice?
- 不 - 好 纯果乐 无果肉型
- No. - Great.Tropicana,no pulp.
Sheldon 好呀
Hey,Sheldon.
谁啊!
Who is it!
是我 Sheldon Wolowitz夫人
It's me,Sheldon,Mrs.Wolowitz.
那不是我妈 是Bernadette
That's not my mom,it's Bernadette.
真的吗?
Really?
这声还真惊悚
That's very unsettling.
- 嗨 Sheldon - 你好
- Hi,Sheldon. - Hi.
咋啦?
What's up?
我突然想起来 我还没有正式祝福你 那即将到来的婚礼呢
It just occurred to me that I never formally congratulated you on your pending nuptials.
因此我见到辆公车就跳上去 赶来和你握手
So I hopped on the first bus and hightailed it down here to shake your hand.
手拿来 你个讨厌鬼
Put 'er there,you old so-and-so.
我还有12小时就和你一起上班了
Well,I-I'm gonna see you at work in...
你不觉得可以等到那时候吗?
12 hours-- don't you think it could have waited until then?
我晕 我怎么就没想到呢?
Holy smoke,why didn't I think of that?
你比我厉害 Howard Wolowitz
You're a better man than I,Howard Wolowitz.
握个手吧 好小子!
You put 'er there,you son of a gun!
好吧
Whatever.
我...
My... oh... it's...
老天哪 Howard!
Oh,my God,Howard!
你怎么他了?
What did you do?
只是个没恶意的万圣节恶搞
It was a harmless Halloween prank.
你看
Look.
Howard心脏有问题 你知道的!
Howard has a heart condition!You know that!
我以为是他瞎编的
Well,I thought he made that up.
犹太人都不是都特爱 幻想自己有病吗?
I-Isn't hypochondria a common idiosyncrasy of Jewish people?
这是肾上腺素 我们得注射到他心脏里
This is adrenaline--we're gonna have to inject it into his heart.
- 我们? - 你来
- We are? - You are.
我没那么大力气扎进去 而且药只有一支
生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory
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