小镇滋味

Santa Clarita Diet S02E09

Part 4 Oct. 15, 2019, 11:26 a.m.

-不过我的确不介意 -那就好
- But, yes, I'm okay with that. - Okay, good.
因为为了把东西拿到手我要调情一下
'Cause in order to get what we want, I'm gonna flirt a little.
需要做什么你就做我不会介意的
Whatever you have to do, do it. I'll be fine.
-好的 -抱歉我们关门了
- Okay. - Hey, sorry, guys, we're closed.
艾比
Hey, Abby.
-嗨斯文 -要命了
- Hi, Sven. - God damn it.
我想问你你下班[射♥精♥]后想不想
I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie together
一起去看电影
after you... get off.
好啊他来干什么
Yeah, sure. Why is he here?
他正在做一个绝密的陶器项目
He's doing a super secret pottery project,
如果你能在我们
and I would just consider it a huge favor
一起"舔"甘草糖吃黄油[屁♥股♥]饼干时
if you could let him use your hot, hot kiln while...
让他使用你热辣的窑我会非常感激你
you and I share a lick-orice and a Butt-erfinger.
我不能让他单独使用窑
Um, no, I can't leave him alone with the kiln.
万一他把这里烧毁了怎么办
What if he burns the entire place down?
我可能会被抓跟大学吻别了
I could be arrested, kiss college goodbye.
但可以吻我哦
But kiss me hello.
艾比我觉得你这招不灵
Abby, I don't think it's working.
抱歉我不擅长干这个
I apologize. This is a new muscle for me.
斯文我们一起上英语课
Look, Sven, I was in your English class.
除非有人帮你写大学论文
You're gonna be at this Color Me Mine the rest of your life
否则你这辈子都只能待在彩乐美
unless someone writes your college essays for you.
如果你把钥匙留下后离开我就帮你写论文
Which I will do if you leave us the keys and walk away.
成交完事后给我短♥信♥
All right. Text me when you're done.
谢谢你
Thanks for doing that.
-不客气 -听着
- No problem. - Listen.
我之前很混♥蛋♥ 你为我做了很多事
I was a dick before. You do a lot for me
很抱歉我有一刻忘记了
and I'm sorry I forgot that for a minute.
-没关系 -不我不喜欢的人很多
- It's okay. - No. I don't like a lot of people.
所以我不能惹怒我喜欢的人
So I can't afford to be pissing off the ones I do like.
-我们没事了吗 -嗯
- So, are we good? - Yeah.
没事了
Color Me "Fine."
你提醒我了
That reminds me,
求你千万别告诉别人我调情的事
please, please don't tell anyone about my flirting.
-别担心我都描述不出来 -是我活该
- Don't worry. I couldn't even describe it. - I deserve that.
完成一半了
Halfway through.
-你真是太好了 -你不必这么说
- You're such a good man. - You don't need to say that.
真的你是一个活死人老婆
Seriously, you're the best husband
所能拥有的最棒的老公
an undead wife could ever ask for.
你忍♥受了纳粹谋杀起疑心的警♥察♥
Putting up with Nazis, murder, suspicious cops.
你今天还失去了最好的朋友
And you lost your best friend today
就因为我非要在贾婆婆餐厅点蛤蜊吃
because I had to order the clams at Japopo's.
你没做错任何事
You didn't do anything wrong.
你看这些壳有多红我早该注意到的
Look at how red these shells are. I should've noticed.
它们当时泡在红酱里
They were drenched in marinara
而且我们的蜡烛也没电了
and the battery in our candle was dead.
我本来想吃红酒炖鸡肉但服务员说
I wanted the chicken marsala, but the waiter said,
"我们只剩一道特♥价♥菜了"
"We have one special left,"
感觉很特别我真的太蠢了
And it felt exclusive, and I'm so stupid.
-希拉 -什么
- Sheila. - What?
不是你的错都怪我
It wasn't your fault. It was mine.
-你说什么傻话呢 -是我害死了你
- What are you talking about? - I'm the reason you died.
我们去贾婆婆餐厅那晚我本该煮晚饭的
That night we went to Japopo's, I was supposed to cook dinner.
-对但你接到公♥司♥的电♥话♥ -我说谎了
- Right, but you had a work call. - I lied.
你不在家我抽了点大♥麻♥
You weren't home, I smoked a little pot,
我没煮饭
and instead of cooking,
而是在YouTube上看了"狗狗犯蠢集锦"
I watched "Epic Dog Fails" on YouTube.
之后我想吃披萨所以告诉你
Then I wanted pizza, so I told you
我因为工作没空做饭只能出去吃
I got stuck on a work call and we had to go out.
所以这一切就是因为你嗑嗨了
So all this happened because you got high
然后想看无脑狗狗视频吗
and wanted to watch a stupid dog video?
没错都是我的错
Yes. It's my fault.
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
等一下
Wait a minute.
-那视频是我发给你的 -是吗
- I sent you that video. - You did?
所以也许就是我的错
So maybe this is my fault.
不过是伊芙琳上班时发给我的
But Evelyn gave me that video from work,
她妈妈发给她的
and her mom gave it to her.
你觉得是伊芙琳妈妈的错吗
You think this is Evelyn's mom's fault?
也许都怪视频里的那些狗
Maybe it's the dogs in that video
以为自己能在油布上急转弯
who think they can make sharp turns on linoleum.
或者该怪把狼变成宠物养的洞穴人
Maybe it's cavemen who decided to turn wolves into pets.
那你是说所有人都有错但主要是洞穴人的错吗
So you're saying it's everybody's fault? But mostly cavemen?
不我是说不是任何人的错
No. I'm saying it's nobody's fault.
乔
Joel...
不是任何人的错
it's nobody's fault.
谢谢你
Thank you.
准备受死吧偷蛤蜊的人♥渣♥
I'm coming for you, you clam-thieving motherfuckers.
再说发生在我们身上也许是好事
Besides, maybe it's a good thing that it happened to us.
怎么会
How is it good?
因为我们在努力阻止病毒扩散
Because we're trying to stop it from spreading.
其他人可能根本不会在乎
And maybe someone else wouldn't even care.
也对也许我们是好人
Right. Maybe we are good people.
我想我们是的
I'm gonna go with we are.
在我看来可不是
Not from where I'm standing.
厄文你这卑鄙的小偷离开我的桶
Irving, you thieving son of a bitch. Get out of my tubs.
露比我可以解释
Ruby, I can explain.
我是用这些袋子装更多蛤蜊来给你了
I'm bringing you more clams in these bags.
-胡扯 -露比听我说
- Bullshit. - Ruby, listen to me.
艾萨克想说的是...
What Isaac is trying to say--
-是厄文 -是厄文
- Irving. - Irving.
好吧其实我也编不出借口
Oh, okay. Well, you know what? I didn't have anything anyway.
你今早先是来试图色♥诱♥我
First, you waltz in here this morning trying to seduce me.
然后又派你的两个跟班来审问我
Then you send your two lackeys to interrogate me.
我去上班的路上
I was halfway to work
才忽然意识到我的蛤蜊可能有危险
before I realized my clams might be in danger.
等等你说"跟班"
Wait, did you say "Lackeys"?
什么跟班我们没有跟班啊
What lackeys? We don't have any lackeys.
搞毛啊
What the fuck?
你射偏了
You missed.
谢你了玛莎这反馈太"棒"了
Thank you, Marsha. That's great feedback.
-怎么回事 -像是炸♥弹♥爆♥炸♥了
- What the hell happened? - It's like a bomb went off.
天呐我都不知道海鲜行业竞争如此激烈
Christ, I had no idea the seafood business was this competitive.
天呐
God...
老天不
Oh, my God. No!
够了我退出你们赢了
Okay, that's it. I'm out, you win.
求你们放过我家里的宠物蛤蜊
Please, just spare my house clams.
-不是我们干的 -是啊我们是好人
- We didn't do this. - Yeah, we're good people.
-我想我们该跑了 -我同意
- I think we should run. - I agree.
我♥操♥ 打中了你成功了
Holy fuck, it worked. You did it!
现在我们只需找到
Now all we have to do is track down
吃过那些蛤蜊的人然后把他们杀了
whoever ate those clams and kill them.
没错
Totally.
你在看什么
What are you looking at?
看你我们回家造人吧
You. Let's go home and make a baby.
不是真心的就别说这种话
Don't say that if you don't mean it.
不想我爱你就别这么漂亮
Don't look beautiful if you don't want me to love you.
-是谁干的 -不知道但他们是来真的
- Who the hell did that? - I don't know, but they're serious.
普通人可不会有火箭筒
No one casually owns a rocket launcher.
你觉得是露比说的跟班吗
Do you think it was those lackeys Ruby was talking about?
有可能
Maybe.
如果他们已经知道蛤蜊的事
Well, if they knew about the clams,
还有多久就会知道我们的事啊
how long until they find out about us?
这个问题我们在逃离路上
This seems like a conversation we could have
-再讨论吧 -也对
- while getting the fuck out of here! - Right.
-给 -谢谢
- Here. - Thank you.
我发短♥信♥告诉艾比我们把蛤蜊都消灭了
I texted Abby and told her we destroyed the clams.
你说是我们消灭的吗
You said we destroyed the clams?
对我们正好需要一次胜利
Yeah. I figured we could use a win.
我们拯救了世界差一点
We saved the world. Almost.