小镇滋味

烤馅饼 奶酪茄子 蘑菇披萨 没有蛤蜊
Calzone, eggplant parm, mushroom pizza. No clams.
意面 千层面 没有蛤蜊
Spaghetti, lasagna. No clams.
翻这些贾婆婆餐厅的收据弄得我好饿
Going through all these Japopo's receipts is making me hungry.
我们今晚能去那儿吃吗
Can we go there tonight?
可能就是那里的东西杀死了你妈妈 所以不行
They may have killed your mother, so no.
而且 那里的菜也没有多好吃
Also, the food's not great.
如果我问你一个关于男生的问题
Hey, if I ask you a boy question,
你能不能保证不要表现得很奇怪
will you promise not to be weird?
-我保证 -学校有个叫斯文的男生...
- I promise. - There's this guy at school, Sven--
你可以找到更好的
You can do better.
好吧 从现在开始
Okay, starting now.
他约了我出去 我们今天要一起喝咖啡
He asked me out, so we're getting coffee today.
我该不该告诉喜欢我 而且可能会伤心的艾瑞克
Do I tell Eric, who likes me and may be really hurt?
但如果我不告诉他 那就像是在瞒着他
Or do I not tell him, which feels like I'm hiding it
因为斯文很性感 还在希腊弹了一个暑假的吉他
because Sven is hot and spent a summer in Greece playing guitar?
让我问你个问题
Well, let me ask you a question.
斯文知道你妈妈和我
Does Sven know your mother
一直在找可以杀的人吗
and I are constantly looking for people to kill?
爸
Dad.
好吧 艾瑞克是你的朋友 如果他从别人那里
Okay. Eric is your friend, and it's gonna hurt him a lot more
知道这件事会更伤心 所以你应该告诉他
if he finds out from someone else, so you should tell him.
谢了 老爸 你还真是一反常态教子有方
Thanks, Dad. That was uncharacteristically good parenting.
就不能干脆地夸我吗
Couldn't just let me have the straight win, huh?
我觉得我已经夸得够多了
I feel like I gave you enough.
大家好 收据看得怎么样了
Hi, guys. How's it going with the receipts?
这是最后一张 写的是...嫩煎鸡排
This is the final one. And it's... chicken piccata.
看来某人没读过我的第一条点评
Someone didn't read my first Yelp review.
"如果你喜欢刺山柑 不妨看看《布鲁克林劫案》
"If you like capers, try a Marx Brothers movie
因为这份嫩煎鸡排里显然没有"
because you won't find any in this piccata!"
好吧
Okay.
我们在贾婆婆餐厅吃饭的那晚 蛤蜊是特♥价♥菜
So, the night we ate at Japopo's, clams was a special,
只有三个人点了这道菜
and only three people ordered them.
你 雷蒙娜 还有一个叫艾德·图恩的人
You, Ramona, and a guy named Ed Thune.
是艾德·图恩上校 我们谷歌♥了他一下
Colonel Ed Thune. We Googled him.
他单身 退休了
He's single, retired,
而且他以为"侧边栏"就真的要贴侧脸像
and he thinks that a profile picture is literally a profile.
Facebook主页
如果他是活死人
If he's undead,
蛤蜊就一定是这件事的源头了
the clams are definitely the source of this thing.
你和雷蒙娜可能是巧合
You and Ramona could be a coincidence,
但是三个人就是模式了
but three people is a pattern.
你们真棒 这是重大发现
Way to go, you guys. This is huge!
如果我们知道蛤蜊是源头 就可以阻止扩散
If we know it's the clams, we can stop it from spreading.
我们真的可以拯救世界
We could literally save the world!
全都靠我们了
It's all up to us!
那我们去找艾德·图恩吧
Then let's go find Ed Thune!
-今天不行 -什么 亲爱的 这可是拯救世界
- Today's not good. - What? Honey, it's the world.
我们要和卡尔开会
We have that meeting with Carl,
然后还要向投资商推销我们的方案
and then we're pitching to that investor.
是啊 但是...
Yeah, but...
-这可是拯救世界 -爸爸说得对 还有什么
- The world! - Dad's right. What could possibly
会比拯救...更重要
be more important than saving the--
我去 是斯文 直立单桨冲浪好玩吗
Holy shit, it's Sven! Hey, how was paddle boarding?
斯文是谁
Who's Sven?
只是个要伤艾瑞克心的男生
Just a boy who's gonna break Eric's heart.
我真的感觉今天就应该跟艾德·图恩谈谈
I really think we should talk to Ed Thune today.
当然应该了 但是应该明天再谈
We absolutely should, tomorrow,
因为我们要是今天不去开会
because if we don't make that meeting today,
卡尔就要把我们从这辈子最大的项目中撤下了
Carl's gonna take us off the biggest project of our lives.
但如果艾德今天发狂感染别人
But if Ed is feral and infecting people today,
吃人的狂暴大军遍布街道的话
what good is a housing development
住♥宅♥开♥发♥区又有什么用吗
when rabid armies of flesh-eating goons are roamin' the streets?
-我们的论据都很充分 -"都"这个词不恰当
- We both have really good arguments. - I don't think we both do.
好吧 这样行吗
Okay, how about this?
你去跟艾德谈
You go talk to Ed.
如果他是活死人 我们就知道是蛤蜊的问题
And if he's undead, we know it's the clams.
而如果他很野蛮 我们就一起回去杀了他
And if he's feral, we go back together and make him regular dead.
与此同时 我去和卡尔开会
In the meantime, I'm gonna take that meeting with Carl.
说到杀人这件事
Speaking of making people dead,
你不该自己去跟卡尔开会
you should not go talk to Carl by yourself.
别担心 我有计划
Don't worry, I have a plan.
我会表现得像以前的希拉一样端庄热情
I'm just gonna act like old Sheila, who's demure and chipper
从没在吃人肝脏的时候高♥潮♥
and never had an orgasm while eating a man's liver.
看你这副表情 我之前应该是没提过这件事
Judging by your look, I haven't mentioned that before.
不 你提过 我只是从来都不知道该说什么
No, you have. I just never know what to say.
你觉得你能在卡尔身边表现得像以前的希拉一样吗
You think you can even act like the old Sheila around Carl?
我觉得能 但或许你是对的
I think so, but maybe you're right.
或许这太危险了 我不该去
Maybe it's too dangerous, and I shouldn't go.
-我确实觉得最好如此 -骗到你了 小婊砸
- I really think that's best. - Fooled you, motherfucka.
刚才是以前那个讨人喜欢的希拉 我会搞定的
That was the old, agreeable Sheila. I'm gonna nail this.
-大家好 -你好 安妮
- Hey, guys. - Hi, Anne.
乔 你舞跳得还不错 是吧
Hey, uh, Joel, you're a pretty good dancer, right?
-不 这话是谁说的 -你说的
- No. Who told you that? - You did.
还记得吗 亲爱的 你就是因为教他外婆跳舞
Remember, honey, that's why you trashed Principal Novak's house,
才把诺瓦克校长的家弄得一团糟的
is because you were giving his grandmother dancing lessons.
当然 我都糊涂了
Of course. I was confused
因为你问我是不是跳得"还不错"
because you asked me if I was a pretty good dancer,
那可说错了
which I'm not.
我可是个杰出的舞者
I'm an outstanding dancer.
萨尔萨 探戈 还有好多种我知道的舞蹈
Salsa, tango, numerous others that I know.
太好了 丽莎的生日要到了
Perfect! Lisa's birthday's coming up,
我想带她去跳舞
and I wanna take her dancing.
她喜欢探戈 但我对此一窍不通
She loves the tango, but I don't know the first thing about it.
你能教我吗
Can you teach me?
问题是 我有点忙
The thing is, I'm a little busy.
-是啊 他特别忙 -是啊
- Yeah, he's really busy. - Yeah.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
我什么时候都行 按你的日程来
I could do it anytime, work around your schedule.
-好吧 -太好了 今晚六点怎么样
- Okay. - Great. How's tonight at 6:00?
-行吧 -我九点要研习《圣经》
- Okay. - I have Bible study at 9:00.
-三个小时够吗 -行
- Is three hours enough time? - Okay.
完美 今晚见 再见 希拉
Perfect. I'll see you tonight. Bye, Sheila.
再见 安妮
Bye, Anne.
-搞什么 -她让我紧张
- What the fuck? - She makes me nervous.
你说你忙 我也在顺着你说
You said you were busy, and I backed you up.
你只需要坚持住就好
All you had to do was stick with that.
我担心你自己去找艾德·图恩谈话会怎么样
I'm worried about you talking to Ed Thune without me.
他是个上校 而你刚在加西亚副治安官面前展示了
He's a colonel, and as you just demonstrated with Deputy Garcia,
你不太会面对权威
you're not good with authority.
我觉得这是因为你有个冷漠的独♥裁♥父亲
I think it's because you have a cold, dominating dad.
-能不提我爸吗 -你在安妮面前僵掉的样子
- Can we leave Father out of this? - The way you froze with Anne?
你要是对图恩上校这样 而他发狂的话
If you do that with Colonel Thune and he's gone feral,
你的肠子就要挂在脖子上当项链了
you're gonna end up wearing your intestines as a necklace.
好吧 我去监视他家 看看能发现什么
Fine. I'll just stake the place out, see what I can learn.
我保证会按你希望的那样当个胆小鬼
I promise I'll be the coward you want me to be.
谢谢
Thank you.
-祝你今天愉快 -你也是 别杀了卡尔
- Have a good day. - You too. Don't kill Carl.
好 别被艾德杀了
Okay. Don't get killed by Ed.
-好的 -好
- Okay. - Okay.
好了 这是液压破碎站点的卫星图像
Okay. Here is the satellite image of the fracking site.
我觉得那团模糊的东西可能是建筑拖车
I think that that blurry thing might be a construction trailer.
也可能是鞋盒 我不知道比例是多少
Or a shoebox. I'm having trouble with the scale.
那是个天然气田...也可能是肉汁
Well, that's a field... or gravy.
或许为了安全起见我们应该带上饼干
Maybe we should bring biscuits just to be safe.
要是事先不知道那里有什么
It's gonna be hard shutting down a fracking site
想关掉一个液压破碎站点就太困难了
if we don't know what's there.
我们需要更清楚的照片
We need better pictures.
我们不能就那样进去 会被发现的
We can't just go in there. They'll see us.
-你知道什么是嘎伊理吗 -如果说不知道呢
- Do you know what a ghillie suit is? - Assume I don't.
那是狙击手用当地植物做成的伪装服
It's a camouflage outfit that snipers make from local flora,
能让他们与周围环境融为一体