小镇滋味

Santa Clarita Diet S02E03

Part 1 Oct. 15, 2019, 11:25 a.m.

说话啊发生什么了
Well, say something! What's happening?
天啊
Oh, my God!
他还活着
He's still alive.
确认一下我想的对不对
Okay, confirm a theory I'm working on.
我只剩个头了吗
Am I a severed head?
你咬的时候一定把他转化了
When you bit him, he must have turned.
-我们没有杀死他的大脑 -我们并不知道
- And we didn't kill his brain. - We didn't know.
所以答案是肯定的吗
Okay. So, that's a yes?
操
Fuck.
这么长时间你一直清醒地躺在这洞里
All this time, you've just been lying awake here in this hole?
在我的"内脏布丁"里
In a pudding of my own guts.
天啊那感觉一定很糟
Oh, God, that must have been awful.
但是你的确攻击了我
Although, you did attack me.
看看你对我做了什么
But look what you did to me!
天我真怀念能比划的日子
God, I miss gesturing.
那现在怎么办
So, what happens now?
你也不能这样活着啊所以...
You can't live like this, so...
我想我们得杀了你...
I guess we have to kill you...?
你是在问我吗
Are you asking me?
不我是因为这样的对话很不舒服所以底气不足
No, I was trailing off because it's uncomfortable.
这都不理想加里
None of this is ideal, Gary.
很显然错误已经犯了
And, clearly, mistakes were made.
但是我们会尽可能
But we would like to send you off
让你有尊严地走的
with as much dignity as possible.
你想听点音乐吗
Would you like to hear some music?
我们有卫星广播所以我们什么都有
We've got satellite radio, so we've got everything.
有的时候太多了我们真的需要400个车载频道吗
Sometimes too much. Do we really need 400 channels in our car?
-是啊 -好吧
- I know, right? - Okay.
在你们杀我之前我还有最后一个请求
Before you kill me, I do have one last request.
不好意思卫星广播不是那样运作的
Oh, I'm sorry. That's not the way satellite works.
你只是能收到那些频道
You just get the channels.
付那么多钱真是太荒谬了
It's ridiculous, the amount you pay.
不我是说我想让你为我做点事
No, I-- I mean there's something I want you to do for me
在我死之前
before I die.
特别重要的事
Something... incredibly important.
真的吗你想让我们帮你个忙
Really? You want us to do you a favor?
你们活埋了我
You buried me alive.
事先并不知道
Not knowingly.
自行车党我们得离开这了
Dirt bikers. We should get out of here.
好吧我们再找别的地方把他剩下的部分埋了
Okay. We'll find somewhere to bury the rest of him,
然后再把他带回家听听他有什么要求
and then take him home and hear him out.
-我不想带他回家 -你有更好的办法吗
- I don't wanna take him home. - Do you have a better idea?
该死
God damn it.
好了
There.
-和新的一样 -我能去客厅吗
- Good as new. - Hey, can I be in the living room?
这里有点吓人
It's kind of spooky down here.
这里吓人的唯一原因
The only reason it's spooky down here is
就是你在这里
because you're down here.
我们就算把你放到棒棒糖花♥园♥
We could put you in a garden of lollipops
那依旧会很吓人
and it would still be spooky.
所以加里你有什么要求
So Gary, what is your request?
在我被埋期间
Well, I had a lot of time
我有很多时间反思我的人生
to reflect on my life while I was buried out there.
我不是个好人
I wasn't a good person.
伤害了很多人只想着自己
Hurt a lot of people, only thought about myself.
你需要我们做什么头
What do you need from us, Head?
我只做过一件令自己骄傲的事
There was only one thing I ever did I was proud of.
我总是照顾我侄女凯拉
I always took care of my niece, Kayla.
她遭遇了很多不幸
She's had a lot of bad breaks,
但是我是她生命中唯一一个
but I was the one person in her life
确保她和她宝宝有吃的食物
who always made sure she and her baby had food to eat,
有住的地方
a roof over their heads.
那真好
That's really nice.
他攻击你他是个变♥态♥
He assaulted you. He's a creep.
人是多面的乔
People can be more than one thing, Joel.
在我办公室
Look, in my office,
有我在密歇根湖的避暑别♥墅♥的房♥契
there's a deed to a summer house I own on Lake Michigan.
我想让你把它交给凯拉这样她和她的女儿就能...
I want you to give it to Kayla so she and her little girl can...
不用住在她长滩的破公♥寓♥里
get out of their crappy apartment in Long Beach,
开启新生活了
start a new life.
你们帮我完成这件事然后就可以杀了我
You do that for me, then I'll be ready to die.
我想你和你的小♥弟♥弟♥分开
I think being separated from your penis
让你成了一个更好的人
has made you a better man.
也许吧那的确给了我更多空闲时间
Maybe. It certainly has given me more free time.
拜托了我是凯拉唯一的家人了
Please, I'm the only family Kayla has.
我无法忍♥受她觉得我抛弃了她
I can't bear her thinking that I've abandoned her.
-绝对不... -乔
- No, fucking... - Joel?
我觉得我们应该帮他
I think we should do this.
该死但帮完之后就完事
God damn it. But then, this is it.
我们把房♥契交给他侄女然后就结束了
We deliver the deed to his niece, and then lights out.
肯定的看到吧你在想我们是不是坏人
Absolutely. See? You were wondering if we were bad people.
但是只有好人会帮
But only good people would do a favor
他们受害者头颅的忙
for the severed head of their victim.
我觉得充其量是在道德的灰色地带
I think at best, we're in a moral gray area.
我喂了加里我给他喂了塞尔维亚人的尸体
I fed Gary. I gave him pieces of the Serbian guy,
大部分通过他的脖子掉进了花瓶
most of which fell through his neck into the vase,
但他似乎很享受的样子
but he seemed to enjoy it.
你觉得书架放这怎么样
Hey, what would you think if, for the bookshelves in here,
我用樱桃木造的就像这样
I built them out of cherry wood, like this?
挺好的
Yeah, this is nice.
你觉得
And what would you think if,
如果我们不是开50英里的车去长滩
instead of driving 50 miles to Long Beach,
而是把房♥契用信封装起来邮给她侄女怎么样就像这样
we mailed that deed to Gary's niece in an envelope, like this?
我们还是好人
We'd still be good people.
也许还更好呢因为我们减少了碳排放量
Maybe even better because our carbon footprint would be smaller.
我知道但是这是加里最后的心愿了
I know, but it's Gary's last wish.
凯拉理应知道
And Kayla deserves to know
她再也见不到他叔叔的原因
why she's never gonna see her uncle again.
我们欠她的应该亲口告诉她这个谎言
And we owe it to her to deliver that lie in person.
我知道
I know.
我只是想过一天普通人的日子
I just wanted to have one normal day.
我知道这几个星期真是很疯狂
I know, things have been crazy these last few weeks,
但是我感觉特别内疚
but I just feel so guilty.
加里爱他的侄女现在因为我
Gary loved his niece, and now thanks to me,
那个可怜的女孩要孤独一人活在世上了
that poor girl's gonna be all alone in the world.
我明白
I get it.
我只是对今天应该是什么样有不同的憧憬
I just had a different vision of what today would look like.
你本来想做什么宝贝
Well, what did you want to do, sweetheart?
我想理个发
Well... I need a haircut.
这乱得和鸡窝似的
This is insane.
然后我还想买♥♥搭书架的木头
And I wanted to buy wood for the bookshelves.
然后我还想试试滨江街上新开的那家中餐馆
And there's this new Chinese place on Riverside I'd like to try.
自从出了这摊子事后我们还没约过会
We haven't had a date night since this all started.
反正就是这些日常琐事
You know, normal stuff.
见完加里的侄女之后我们还是可以做这些事的
We can go see Gary's niece and still do all of that.
我很乐意和你一起度过约会之夜
I would love nothing more than to have a date night with you.
太好了我也很久没在点评网上写
Great. I also haven't written a restaurant review
餐厅点评了
for Yelp in a long time,
我的粉丝都指望着我呢
and my followers rely on me.
精英会员的头衔即是殊荣也是负担
Elite status is a privilege and a burden.
可不是我本来还希望那点评网能和我一起死了呢
Yeah, I was kind of hoping that Yelp thing would die with me.
但我知道你很重视它所以我就假装在乎一下
But I know it's important to you, so I pretend I care.
谢谢
Thank you.
我的手♥机♥充电器呢
Where's my phone charger?
老妈你是把它拿到地下室了吗
Mom, did you take it with you to the basement?
靠我们不能让她发现加里的头
Shit. We can't let her find Gary's head.
我知道我不担心她被吓到
I know. I'm not worried about her being shocked.
我只是受够了听她逼逼我们了
I'm just tired of her criticizing us.
我有一个我给你拿下去你等等
Uh, I have one. I'll bring it down to you. Just hang on.
今天我们不能让她下去下面
We have to keep her out of there today.