小镇滋味

Santa Clarita Diet S02E08

Part 1 Oct. 15, 2019, 11:26 a.m.

我的老天啊这是卡尔的心脏吗
Oh, my God! Is that Carl's heart?
你把卡尔杀了
Did you kill Carl?
-我不知道也许吧 -你怎么会不知道
- I don't know. Maybe? - How could you not know?
我在停车场看到他了
I saw him in the parking lot
他对我大吼大叫然后我就在这里醒过来了
and he was yelling at me and then I woke up here.
我肯定是断片了
It must be some kind of a blackout.
-你不记得发生了什么 -一点也不记得了
- You have no memory of what happened? - No. Nothing.
好吧也许这不是人的心脏
Okay. Maybe that's not a human heart.
或许这是个动物的心脏
Maybe that's an animal heart.
那就很棒棒也完全合法了
That would be so great and totally legal.
肯定是人的新鲜出膛
Definitely human. Fresh from the chest.
这样不好真的很不好
This sucks! This really sucks!
我不是气你我是气这情况
I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the situation.
你把尸体放哪了
Where did you put the body?
"情况"
"Situation"?
"情况"并不记得
"The situation" doesn't remember.
好吧先进门再来想对策吧
Come on, let's get you inside and figure out what to do.
-我还有只靴子呢 -我不知道
- Where's my other boot? - I don't know.
有没有一毛钱的可能
Is there even the slightest chance
这个人类心脏是你用靴子换来的
you traded it for a human heart?
卡尔不在这这里只有一些纳粹分子的残肢
Carl's not here, just some leftover Nazis
和一块塞尔维亚人
and a chunk of Serb.
加里说你也没有到另一个仓库储物间去
Gary said you didn't go to the other unit either.
然后他给我讲了一个
Then he told me a story
在洗车店遇见保罗·沙弗的故事
about meeting Paul Shaffer at a car wash.
真的挺好笑的
It was actually pretty funny.
-亲爱的 -对这个之后再讲
- Honey. - Yeah, it can wait.
他带了一只超级小的猫出门
He had this super tiny cat with him.
等会记得提醒我好了快到早上了
Remind me later. All right, it's almost morning.
我们像平常一样去上班
We'll go to the office like normal.
如果卡尔来了万事大吉
If Carl shows up, great.
如果我们听说他死了就装惊讶
If we hear that he's dead, we'll act surprised.
-天呐不是吧 -你有更好的主意吗
- Oh, God, that's crazy. - You have a better idea?
不我刚是在装惊讶
No, that was me acting surprised.
不是吧真的假的
No way. Seriously?
-真的装得很像吧 -我刚也是在装惊讶
- Yeah. Pretty good, right? - That was me acting surprised.
棒我们可以的
Oh, nice. We got this.
你好我是卡尔·科比给我留言
Hey, it's Carl Coby. Leave me a message.
帕特我录完了按什么键帕特
Pat, what do I press when I'm done? Pat!
你好我是希拉很抱歉我没去开会
Hey, it's Sheila. I felt bad I missed the meeting,
我想给你留言说下我昨天去哪了
so I wanted to leave you a recording of where I was yesterday.
我两点到五点在处理我女儿的问题
I addressed a problem with my daughter from 2:00 to 5:00,
五点到七点和我老公吃晚餐
had dinner with my husband from 5:00 to 7:00,
然后就上♥床♥睡觉一直到天亮
then went to bed where I stayed until morning.
祝你一切顺利爱你
I hope you're well. Love you.
我可不想上庭时听见这段留言
Yeah, I'm not looking forward to hearing that at the trial.
他不在家也没有和帕特联♥系♥
He's not here and Pat hasn't heard from him.
还有他今早也没有参加他的第一场会
Plus, he missed his first meeting this morning.
天呐我杀了他
Oh, God, I killed him.
他昨天吼了你之后你肯定失控了
After he yelled at you yesterday, you must've snapped,
带他去了另一个地方
brought him to another location,
袭击了他掏出了他的心脏
attacked him, and ripped out his heart.
操我都没有享受到这个过程
Oh, fuck! I didn't even get to enjoy it.
就直接面对结果了
Just straight to consequences.
这感觉就像把蛋糕
It's like pushing cake all
从喉咙灌进身体直接到了大腿
the way down your throat, right to your thighs.
这是我们杀的第二个同事了
This is the second coworker we've killed.
他们找到卡尔的尸体后
When they find Carl's body--
没跑了我要坐牢了
That's it. I'm going to prison.
真的很对不起亲爱的
I'm so sorry, honey.
我们先别放弃你不会坐牢的
We're not giving up. You're not going to prison.
我爱你
I love you.
-我会很想很想你 -别说这种话
- I'm gonna miss you so much. - Don't talk like that.
答应我一定要找到那个蛤蜊批发商
Promise me you'll find that clam distributor
找出引起这个病的原因
and figure out what caused this
让其他人不会染上这个病
so it won't happen to anyone else.
我会的不我们会的
I will. No, we will.
艾比结婚时
And when Abby gets married,
所有地方都要布置桃色玫瑰
there should be peach roses everywhere.
她会说这样太过但别听她的
She'll say it's too much, but don't listen to her.
该死的
God damn it!
你没有杀卡尔
You didn't kill Carl.
-我没杀卡尔 -棒棒
- I didn't kill Carl. - Hotcha!
等下那你杀的是谁
Wait. Then who did you kill?
某个路人还是不太妙
Some random person! That's still not great.
希拉你昨天到底搞什么鬼
Sheila, what the fuck happened to you yesterday?
-你好乔 -卡尔
- Hey, Joel. - Carl.
我在停车场看见你了然后你就开走了
I see you in the parking lot, and then you just drive away?
我又没法给投资人介绍你那扯淡的生态住♥宅♥
I mean, I couldn't pitch your bullshit eco-homes to the investor.
我只得借用《广♥告♥狂人》里的套路
I had to pull a "Mad Men"
带他去脱衣舞俱乐部玩了个通宵
and take him to a strip club all night.
但是你能健健康康地
But isn't it great that
享受美色不是很好吗
you're healthy enough to enjoy the female form?
你只需要到场表现得谦逊点就好
All you had to do was show up and not be a know-it-all.
连这你都做不到
You couldn't even do that.
很抱歉卡尔
I'm sorry, Carl.
但是你知道吗过去几天有点太为难我了
But you know what? The last few days have been impossible.
你想我做一个对你恭恭敬敬的女人
You want me to be your meek yes-woman,
但那已经不是我了
but that's not who I am anymore.
我有自己的想法这是好事
I have opinions, and that's a good thing,
因为每个员工都有自己的想法♥会♥让公♥司♥更强大
because a workplace is stronger when everybody has a voice.
这听起来很讨厌你被解雇了
Yeah, that sounds like a pain in the ass. You're fired.
什么你要解雇我们
What? You're firing us?
不只有你乔可以留下来
No, just you. Joel can stay.
我跟投资人重新约了时间今晚五点
I rescheduled the meeting with the investor for 5:00 tonight.
你能来吗
Can you make it?
很好
Great.
他还活着
He's alive.
卡尔让我措手不及我不知道该怎么说
Carl took me by surprise. I didn't know what to say!
这样说怎么样 "希拉和我是个团队
How about, "Sheila and I are a team,
卡尔我们一直都是个团队
Carl. We've always been a team.
我宁愿割喉自尽也不会背叛我的女神老婆"
And I would sooner slit my throat than betray my goddess wife."
他打断了我的话我本来准备这么说的
He cut me off. I would've gotten there.
那你到底想起来你杀了谁没有
So, any thoughts on who you did kill?
你是在想还是在学我
Are you thinking about it or just doing me?
知道了你以后会一直提这个梗
Oh, I get it. Is this gonna be a thing?
天呐可能是警♥察♥ 我要去坐牢了
Oh, my God. It could be the police! I'm going to jail.
我们一起面对亲爱的
We'll fight this, sweetheart.
你是生病了不能怪你
It's a disease. It wasn't your fault.
不准用艾比上大学的钱
Don't you dare spend a
来付我的律师费
penny of Abby's college fund on my legal team.
我是丽莎
It's Lisa!
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
我知道你们在家
I know you're home.
快出来快出来不管你们在哪
Pull out, pull out, wherever you are.
谢谢你希拉
Thank you, Sheila!
不客气
You're welcome?
我考虑了下你昨晚说的话我决定去做了
I thought about what you told me last night, and I'm gonna do it!
万岁
Hooray?
你们有牛奶吗我家里一点都没有了
Do you guys have any milk? I can't keep any in the house.
艾瑞克一天要喝一桶牛奶
Eric goes through like a gallon a day.
-你跟她说什么了 -不知道
- What did you tell her? - I don't know!
我和你一样懵
Your guess is as good as mine.
我不这么认为亲爱的你当时在场
I don't think so, honey. You were there.
-你跟乔说了吗 -还没
- Did you tell Joel yet? - Not yet.
快告诉他啊
Well, tell him.
这个丽莎是这样
Well, Lisa... here...
天我来说吧
Oh, my God, I will tell him.
你也知道安妮非常信教
As you know, Anne is very religious.
细节就不多说了
Without going into too much detail,