小镇滋味

老天 假如我们和她说"别去地下室"
Oh, God, but if we tell her, "Don't go into the basement,"
-那等我们一走... -她就会去地下室
- the second we leave... - She'll go to the basement.
所以我们该怎么办
So, what do we do?
我希望你今天能去打扫一下地下室
I want you to clean the basement today.
好的 我马上就去
Sure, I'll get right on that.
这是你们干的吗
Is this you guys?
"在岩石缝公园发现尸块"
"Human body parts found near Rocky Peak Park."
不是
No.
但听上去确实像是我们干的
But it sure sounds like us.
老天 这家伙真的是被大卸八块了
God, this guy was really ripped to pieces.
在岩石缝公园发现尸块
会不会是外面还有和你一样的人
Think there's someone out there like you?
别把什么都怪在我们自己身上
Let's not make everyone's problems our problems.
被大卸八块这种事经常发生的
People get ripped to pieces all the time.
-并没有 -我说有就有
- No, they don't. - They do for the purpose of my argument.
我们的烦心事够多了 就别再自寻烦恼了
We have a lot on our plate, let's not go looking for more.
但确实让人好奇
It really makes you wonder,though.
会是谁杀了这个可怜虫
Who could've killed this poor guy?
谢谢你带我去吃午餐 很有意思
Thank you for taking me to lunch. It was fun.
谢谢你邀请我到你家来
Thank you for inviting me back to your apartment,
你一个人住 这里还有床之类的
where you live by yourself with the bed and everything.
你什么都没吃 我挺过意不去的
You know, I still feel bad you didn't eat anything.
第一次约会去熊猫快餐是不是个糟糕的选择
Was Panda Express a bad choice for a first date?
-是的 -好吧
-Yes. - Cool.
但我也不饿啦
But also, I just wasn't hungry.
我想对你做许许多多的事
There are a million things I wanna do to you.
我已经对自己做过许许多多的事了
There's a million things I've had done to me.
但我都是自己动手丰衣足食的
But I did all of them myself.
实际上 只是把一件事做了许许多多次
Actually, it's just one thing a million times.
我能喝点水吗
Can I have some water?
我去给你倒水
I'll get you that water.
老天爷啊 真的要发生了
Jesus Christ, it's happening.
好的
Okay.
冷静点 艾瑞克
Stay calm, Eric.
比你还傻的人都能成功
Dumber people than you do this successfully all the time.
醒醒 老伙计 你的闲日子到头了
Wake up, old friend, your days of leisure are over.
我♥操♥
Fuck me.
你好啊 大情圣
Hey, Romeo.
我没时间和你开玩笑 我在雷蒙娜家的浴室
I don't have time for gentle ribbing. I'm in Ramona's bathroom.
她是活死人 我觉得她叫我来是为了杀我
She's undead. I think she brought me here to kill me.
-我的天啊 快跑 -不行 她就在外面
- Oh, my God. Run! - I can't, she's right outside.
好吧 锁住浴室的门
Okay, uh, lock the bathroom door.
她家在哪 我马上就过去
What's her address? I'll be right there.
太阳鸟街34号♥ 2D公♥寓♥ 快点
34 Sunbird, apartment 2D. Hurry!
别走麦克贝恩街 这个时间赌的和停车场似的
And don't take McBean. It's a parking lot at this hour.
如果我是你 我就从魔术山景观大道走
If I were you, I'd get on Magic Mountain Parkway
-然后一路走到罗斯街 -艾瑞克 我自己能找到
- and go all the way to Rose-- - Eric, I'll find it!
天啊
Oh, God.
我应该带更多保护措施的
I should've brought more protection.
抱歉我们赶不上
I'm sorry that we're not gonna make it back in time
你的理发预约了
for your hair appointment.
没事的 不是你的错
It's all right. It's not your fault.
405州际公路很堵
There was traffic on the 405.
我只是不明白
I just don't understand
人们为什么会减速去看一张床垫
why people slow down to look at a mattress.
那是全新的而且旁边还有一只牛仔靴
Well, it was brand-new and it had a cowboy boot next to it.
会引发大家的疑问
It invites questions.
如果我们快点的话 就还能赶到木料场
If we hurry, we can still make the lumberyard
回来的时候还能买♥♥到中餐
and get Chinese food on the way back.
除非另一支牛仔靴出现 坑了我们
Unless the other cowboy boot shows up and fucks us.
-你好 -你好
- Hi! - Hi!
-是凯拉·劳森吗 -是的
- Kayla Lawson? - Yes?
我们是约翰·达令和温蒂·达令 我们之前打过电♥话♥了
We're John and Wendy Darling. We called earlier.
是的 你们有我加里叔叔的消息吗 他还好吗
Yeah, you have some news about my Uncle Gary? Is he okay?
你知道加里的
You know Gary.
无论事情有多糟糕 他总是能"超额"解决
No matter how bad things get, he always comes out ahead.
-现在就开始了吗 -没有 我说完了
- We're doing that now? - No, I'm done.
好吧
Okay.
真的吗 加里叔叔就抛下一切离开了
Really? So Uncle Gary just dropped everything and left?
他说他特别爱你 但他要改变自己的生活
He said he loves you very much, but he needed to change his life.
所以他放弃了他所有的物质财产
So he gave up all of his material possessions,
搬到一个偏远村庄帮助穷♥人♥了
and moved to a remote village to help the poor.
-我很奇怪他为什么不打电♥话♥呢 -好问题
- I wonder why he didn't call. - Great question.
因为他放弃了他所有的财产
Because he gave up all of his possessions,
所以很显然他连手♥机♥也没有了
so obviously he doesn't have his phone.
答得好
Great answer.
-他有说要去哪吗 -我来回答
- Did he say where he was going? - I'll take this one.
我觉得是危地马拉...
I think it was Guatemal--
不 他没有明确说因为他不想让任何人找到他
No, he kept it vague because he didn't want anyone to find him.
这个解释好多了
Yeah, that's better.
对大家都好
For everyone.
天啊 那对加里叔叔来说很好
Holy shit. Well, good for Uncle Gary.
我一直以为
See, I always thought that
他总有一天会因为对错误的女人动手动脚而被杀的
he would just grope the wrong woman one day and she'd kill him.
-当然不是啦 -肯定不是
- Nothing could be further from the truth. - Nothing.
总之 他想确保你有被照顾好
Anyway, he wanted to make sure you were taken care of.
所以他让我们把这个给你
So he asked us to give you this.
是他在密歇根房♥产的房♥契 湖上的六英亩地
It's a deed to a house in Michigan. Six acres on a lake.
全款支付 现在都是你的了
All paid for and all yours.
天啊
Oh, my God.
我小时候的夏天是在那里度过的
I spent the summers here when I was little.
我父母离婚了
See, my parents are divorced,
这些是我仅有的幸福回忆了
so these are some of the happiest memories that I have.
谢谢你们 真的很感谢你们
Thank you. Thank you so much.
谢谢你们大老远驱车到这里
And thank you for driving all the way down here
就为了把这个带给我
just to give this to me.
你们真是大好人
You are such good people.
谢谢你凯拉 我们也在尽力
Thank you, Kayla. We're trying to be.
有时候我们会做一些并不引以为傲的事
Sometimes we do things we're not proud of,
所以为了平衡下道德尺度
and to balance the moral scales...
-不客气 -你说的对 这样好多了
- You're welcome. - You're right, that's better.
操 去你的 加里叔叔
Fuck! Fuck you, Uncle Gary!
去你们的大好人
And fuck you, nice people.
你们送了我这份礼物 现在我却不能用
You've given me this gift and now I can't even use it.
凯拉 怎么回事
Kayla, what is it?
都怪那个男人 布恩
It's this guy, Boone.
我当时和他交往了几周
I was dating him for a couple weeks,
后来我和他分手 他就生气了
and he's pissed because I broke up with him.
我的车在他手上 他不肯还给我
And he has my car. He won't give it back.
没有车我没法住在荒郊野林的湖上
I can't live on a lake in the middle of nowhere without a car!
现在我还把孩子吵醒了
Now I woke the baby.
这是不是意味着我们做得够多了
Does it feel like we've done enough?
我觉得我们做得够多了
I think we may have done enough.
乔 让她去密歇根是加里的遗愿了
Joel, it was Gary's last wish that we get her to Michigan.
我们还没帮他实现 得帮她把车拿回来
And we haven't done that yet. We have to go and get her car back.
我知道 只是我要的樱桃木在打折
I know. It just the cherry wood I wanted is on sale,
这种木材卖♥♥得很快
and it's a very fast moving wood.
我想松木也行吧
I guess we could just get pine.
森林里的丰田凯美瑞
The Toyota Camry of the forest.
亲爱的 我们这是在做好事
We are doing a good thing, honey.
我保证你能吃到你心心念念的中餐
And you are gonna get your Chinese food, I promise.
凯拉 如果你能把前男友的地址给我们
Listen, Kayla, if you give us the address to your ex-boyfriend,
我们会去把你的车要回来
we will go there and get your car back.
我的天 真的吗
Oh, my God. Really?
太谢谢你们了
Thank you so much.
这是他的地址
Here's his address.
我真的太谢谢你们了 真的
You guys, I really appreciate it. Really.
-不客气 -这是我们的荣幸
- Of course. - It's our pleasure.
关于我前任 我可能应该提醒你们一下
You know, I should probably warn you about my ex.
提醒我们
Warn us?
你们应该会没事的