小镇滋味

Santa Clarita Diet S02E08

Part 3 Oct. 15, 2019, 11:26 a.m.

我被捉到用夜视镜观察一只猫头鹰
I got busted using the goggles to observe an owl.
它当时栖息在安德森家的卧室窗户上
It was perched above the Andersons' bedroom window.
他们以为我在看他们做♥爱♥
They thought I was watching them have sex.
好像他们那平凡的身材能和
As if their unremarkable human forms could hold a candle
西部鸣角鸮的优美躯体相提并论似的
to the feathered glory of a Western Screech Owl.
你妈很喜欢我我去要夜视镜
Well, your mom loves me. I'll ask for the goggles.
挺好
Oh, excellent.
-八点来接你 -好先吃饭再去吗
- Pick you up at 8:00? - Yeah. Are you gonna eat before?
我会太过紧张的
I'll be too nervous.
我想或许我们可以完事后再去吃
I thought maybe we could go out after.
行啊挺好的好令人激动
Yeah, that would be great. This is exciting!
是啊今晚见
Yes, totally. Well, till tonight.
-就这样吧 -好吧
- Yeah. - Okay.
丽莎
Lisa?
艾比你好
Oh, Abby. Hey.
我刚在读《圣经》为洗礼做准备
I was just reading the Bible, getting up to speed for my baptism.
-你看过吗 -没
- Have you read this? - No.
-该死 -我准备走了
- Damn. - I was just on my way out.
-在我走之前我能请你帮个忙吗 -当然
- While I'm here, can I ask you a favor? - Of course.
耶稣说
You know, as Jesus says...
该死我永远也装不出来这个什么事
Oh, fuck, I'll never be able to fake this. What's up?
艾瑞克说
Eric mentioned that
丹的夜视镜在这
Dan had some night vision goggles lying around.
我在想能不能借用一下
I was just wondering if I could borrow them.
-学校的课题要用 -什么课题
- It's for a school project. - On what?
关于夜间的究竟在晚上会发生什么
On nighttime. What happens at night, anyway?
-我要弄清楚 -是给艾瑞克观察猫头鹰的吗
- I'm gonna find out. - Is this for Eric to look at owls?
我可不能再让尼尔·安德森怒冲到我们家来
Because I can't have Neal Anderson storming over again
穿着卫裤老二还半硬着
yelling at me about parenting
大声逼逼我该如何为人父母
while standing there in sweatpants with half an erection.
好吧是我和艾瑞克要用
All right. It's for me and Eric.
我们今晚在沙漠有特别计划
We kinda have this special thing planned in the desert tonight.
天呐
Oh, my God.
你们要去约会了吗快说你们是要去约会了
Are you going on a date? Tell me you are going on a date.
是的我们要去约会终于走到这一步了
Yes. We're going on a date. It's finally happening.
太好了我只祈祷过一次我去给你拿
This is incredible! You pray one time. Let me get those for you.
丹失踪后
You know, when Dan disappeared,
我把他的变♥态♥玩意全锁起来了
I locked up all of his crazy shit.
等下你今天被停学了对吗
Wait. You're suspended today, right?
是的怎么了
Yeah. Why?
我来给你化个妆
I'm making you up.
不了谢谢
No, thank you.
你还想要夜视镜吗
If you want the goggles...
-好吧 -耶
- Fine. - Yay!
耶
Yay.
那就是朝你挥手的红衬衣男吗
Is that the tall man in a red shirt who was waving at you?
是的现在想起来他是有着惊人的柔韧性
Yeah. Now that I think about it, he was incredibly limber.
这里没有警戒线
There's no police tape.
我们应该去里面看看
Well, we should check inside
看我有没有把谁的肠子当成圣诞彩灯一样挂了起来
and see if I strung up anyone's entrails like Christmas lights.
我最近一直在做这样的梦
I've been dreaming about that lately.
等不及要过节了
I think I'm excited for the holidays.
等下不能让别人看见我们
Hang on. We don't want anyone to see us.
应该等她们离开
We should wait for them to leave.
嗯不过她们才十几岁
Yeah, although they are teenage girls,
我敢肯定她们不会注意到我们的
so I'm sure we're invisible to them.
好吧我得承认卡尔和我很合不来
Okay, I'll admit it. Carl and I were not a great match.
我不再和他一起共事也是件好事
It's good I won't be working with him anymore.
谢谢很高兴你能接受
Thank you. I'm glad you are able to accept--
所以我在想我们可以到别的地方工作
So I was thinking we could work somewhere else.
原则房♥屋中介那有职位空缺
There's an opening at Principal Residential.
克里斯和克里斯塔的公♥司♥
Chris and Christa's company?
那个三八威胁要穿着假阳♥具♥操♥我♥们
The woman threatened to fuck us with a strap-on!
别搞性别歧视乔
Well, don't be sexist, Joel.
如果是埃隆·马斯克威胁
If Elon Musk threatened to
要穿着假阳♥具♥操♥我♥们你会说他很有领导力
fuck us with a strap-on, you'd call it leadership.
我不会的
I don't think I would.
好吧我们还可以去别的公♥司♥
Fine. There are other companies we could work with.
那些公♥司♥的老板你可能都不喜欢
All of them with bosses who you might not like.
所以你要撇下我继续和卡尔共事
So what, you're just gonna keep working for Carl without me?
我只是说我们不能同时失业
All I'm saying is we can't afford to both be out of a job.
她们走了
They're leaving.
她们把它弄坏了吗
Did they break it?
该死的臭丫头我们应该举报她们
Fucking teenagers! We should report them.
必须的
Absolutely.
等先检查完我的谋杀案后
Right after we check on my murder.
我没看见哪有血迹或是身体残肢
I don't see any blood or junk body parts.
办公室里没人也没尸体挂在墙上
There's no one in the office or on the office walls.
操那是摄像头吗
Shit! Is that a camera?
操是的
Shit! It is!
-我们该怎么做 -不知道
- What do we do? - I don't know.
-这样看起来不像正常人的行为 -是
- This doesn't look like human behavior. - No.
如果这里有摄像头
If there's a camera...
就有可能拍下我生吃人的过程
Then there could be a recording of me eating a man alive.
那真的也很不像正常人的行为
And that really won't look like human behavior.
艾瑞克有你真是太好了
You've been so good for Eric.
在你之前唯一一个和他讲话的女孩是他的表妹
Before you, the only girl he talked to was his cousin.
他们的关系后来开始变味了她喜欢强求
That was headed in a weird direction. She's super pushy.
我有艾瑞克也很好我可以依赖他
Eric's good for me, too. I can really depend on him, you know?
感觉我的脸要窒息了
It feels like my face is suffocating.
我只给你画了个淡妆搭配你的个性
I'm just giving you a little war paint to match your personality.
艾瑞克告诉了我你在食堂
Eric told me what you did
是怎么替那个可怜女孩出头的
to defend that poor girl in the cafeteria.
-没什么的 -我不这么觉得
- Oh, it wasn't a big deal. - Well, I think it was.
我前几周一直在观察你
I've been watching you over the past couple weeks,
你体内有一团一团以前没有的火焰
and you have a fire in you that you didn't have before.
你是个实干家行动果断的女人
You're a doer, a woman of action.
谢谢丽莎
Thanks, Lisa.
我的生活最近很极端
My life's been kind of intense lately.
我想这让我更多地去思考什么才重要
I guess that made me think more about what's important.
闭眼
Close.
好吧如果这样太骚了我可以改
Okay, if this is too slutty, I can change it.
如果还不够骚我也可以搞定
And if it's not slutty enough, I can fix that, too.
不管怎样都要加点闪粉
Any excuse to get out the body glitter.
好了
And done.
好吧去照下镜子我去拿夜视镜
Okay, come look in the mirror while I grab those goggles.
怎么样
What do you think?
不喜欢吗
You hate it?
没有
No.
挺好看的
It's awesome.
因为你本来就很美
Because you're awesome.
太多人打安全牌但你不同
So many people play it safe, but not you.
给你
Here you go.
你就和你妈妈一样
You're just like your mom.
哈蒙德家的女人要么成大事要么回家
The Hammond women, they go big or go home.
对
Yeah.
确实
We do.
嘿
Hey.
你就是艾比·哈蒙德的朋友对吗
You're Abby Hammond's friend, right?
我们不止是朋友
We're a little more than friends.
我们有3%的可能性做情侣这是她的原话
There's a 3% chance we might someday become lovers. Her words.
伙计我13岁就破处了
Dude, I lost my virginity when I was 13, so...
-你拿的是什么 -一架无人机
- What do you got there? - Um, it's a drone.
具体说来是Parrot AR2.0版
Specifically a Parrot AR 2.0.
什么太屌♥了真是
What? That's sick! That's...
真棒
Yeah.
这个我就收下了谢了老兄
I'm gonna go ahead and keep this. Thanks, bro.
等下什么
Wait, what?
什么不行你不能就这样拿走别人的东西
What? No! You can't just take things!
别闹我们都算是成年人了
Come on, man, we're almost adults!