小镇滋味

Santa Clarita Diet S02E07

Part 1 Oct. 15, 2019, 11:25 a.m.

你把自己手指咬断了那能解决什么问题
You bit your finger off? What problem was that solving?
很明显这是个意外啊
Obviously, it was an accident.
你怎么会意外地把附肢咬断呢
How do you accidentally bite off an appendage?
因为我当时在卡尔旁边想保持冷静
Because I was trying to keep my shit together around Carl,
顺便说一下我没杀他
who I didn't kill, by the way.
也不夸我一句行吧
No credit there. Fine.
我当时在咬指甲忽然手指就断了
I was biting my nails. Then all of a sudden, crunch.
老天
Jesus Christ.
你因为压力而吃自己有人看到吗
You're stress-eating yourself. Did anyone see you?
没有我冲到洗手间把手包起来
No. I ran to the bathroom and wrapped it up.
我回去时投资人已经走了
And by the time I got back, the investor had left.
断口很整齐
It's a clean bite.
-你觉得能重新接上吗 -我不知道
- You think it can be reattached? - I don't know.
也许有办法重新固定上去
Maybe there's a way to stick it back on.
橡皮筋延长线夹子
Rubber band, extension cord... chip clip?
不行
No.
比利·乔的唱片百视达会员卡
Billy Joel CD, Blockbuster card--
我们的减压球还记得吗
hey, one of our stress balls. Remember these?
"跟最优秀的人共事就不会有压力"
"You won't be stressed when you work with the best."
我想我压力超他妈大
Well, I think I'm pretty fucking stressed.
这是你的脚趾吗
Is this your toe?
我不想丢掉
I didn't wanna throw it out.
不该放在装废品的抽屉里应该...
Well, it shouldn't be in the junk drawer. It should be...
我想暂时还是先放回这里吧
Well, I guess we can put it back in here for now.
唯一的好事是卡尔自己推销得太糟
The only good thing was Carl screwed up his pitch so badly,
导致投资人想听我的意见
that the investor wants to hear my idea.
所以你跟我明天要去给他做展示
So you and I are gonna go present it to him tomorrow.
不行你不能待在卡尔旁边
No. You can't be around Carl.
你在把自己一块块咬下来
You're chewing off pieces of yourself.
卡尔不会去他感到太耻辱了
Carl won't be there. He was so humiliated
所以他声称明天
that he claimed he'll be
要忙着跟所有在世的总统打高尔夫球
busy golfing with all the living presidents.
你能从他表情看出他知道自己过火了
You could see on his face he knew he overreached.
卡尔也许不会出席那个会议
Carl may not be at that meeting,
但以后还会有无数次会议
but there'll be a hundred more meetings.
等我们完成这个项目
By the time we finish this project,
你就只剩下一张嘴坐在椅子上了
you'll just be a mouth on a chair.
老天乔
Jesus, Joel.
我仍然会骄傲地称那张嘴为我的妻子
A mouth I would still proudly call my wife.
我不会放弃这个项目
Well, I'm not giving up on this project.
我不想因为我是活死人就放弃生活
I don't want to stop living just because I'm undead!
-该死 -该死
- Shit! - Shit!
你看到飞哪儿去了吗
Did you see where it went?
-天呐 -你找到了吗
- Oh, my God. - Did you find it?
艾比的奶嘴
Abby's pacifier.
-是她的"咪♥咪♥" -我知道时间过得真快
- Oh, my God, her "Mi-mi." - I know. So fast.
-该死 -该死
- Shit! - Shit!
我收到你说是因为蛤蜊的短♥信♥了真是好消息
I got your text that it was the clams. That's great news.
我已经开始调查贾婆婆餐厅从哪儿进的货
I've already started researching where Japopo's gets them.
现在不是时候
Now's not a good time.
很快说完
Real quick.
在网上搜不到供货商但我有个计划
Couldn't find supplier online, but I have a plan.
明天我们去贾婆婆餐厅
Tomorrow, we go to Japopo's
假扮成一家父子经营的海鲜公♥司♥
posing as a father-son seafood company.
我们是生意伙伴朋友也是家人
We're business partners, we're friends, we're family.
我老婆的手指不见了
My wife lost her finger.
掉在捕蟹笼里了吗这很难解释
Like in a crab trap? Probably hard to work that in,
不过你已经在想背景故事了很好
but it's great that you're already thinking about backstory.
找到了
Found it!
我们家有蚂蚁
And we've got ants.
进来吧
Just get inside.
你觉得我们能弄好吗
Do you think we can fix it?
我的脚趾就没办法接回去
Yeah, because my toe would never stay on.
你的脚趾是腐烂脱落的所以死绝了
Well, your toe rotted off, so it was dead-dead.
但你的手指是被扯断的还有生机
But your finger was severed, so it's more living-dead,
意思是如果我们固定好
which means if we set it,
说不定能恢复正常
there's a chance it can go back to normal.
如果恢复不了呢
What if it doesn't?
我想你可以说发生了意外
I guess you could say you had an accident.
乔和我刚才在想捕蟹笼对吧 "爸爸"
Joel and I were thinking crab trap. Right, "Dad"?
我们不会扮成父子档的海鲜批发商
We're not posing as father-son seafood distributors.
贾婆婆餐厅那家伙
The guy at Japopo's already
已经以为我在拍关于小费的纪录片
thinks I'm making a documentary about tipping.
别误会说来话长
Don't get me wrong, there's a story to be told there,
但我实在分身乏术
but my plate is way too full.
当然我明白
Sure, I get it.
冇问题呀
Ain't no thang, you know.
好了现在试试
Okay, try it now.
我断掉的部位还能接回去
I can lose parts and reattach them.
我就跟雪人一样
I'm like a snowman.
我们的生活真是越来越光明啦
Our lives just keep getting better and better.
建议你这几天别过度使用
I'd go easy on it for a few days.
几个月几秒钟我也不知道
Months? Seconds? I don't know.
不过肯定要保持干燥还是保持湿润
But definitely do keep it dry. Or moist?
这是因为你老板才弄断的吗
So, this was a reaction to your boss?
没错那混♥蛋♥又对我居高临下了
Yeah, he was being a condescending prick again.
你应该让艾比带个午餐托盘去找他
You should send Abby over there with a lunch tray.
她会让他学乖的
She'll straighten him out.
-什么意思 -对啊什么意思
- What do you mean? - Yeah. What do you mean?
-托盘那件事 -托盘哪件事
- The tray thing. - What tray thing?
托盘哪件事
What tray thing?
真不敢相信艾比用托盘砸一个男生的脸
I can't believe Abby smashed a boy in the face with a tray.
太多事发生了何时是个头
God, we have so much going on. When does it end?
我们的确同时要处理很多问题[球]
We do have a lot of balls in the air.
杂耍人是如何做到的他们同时抛接五样东西
How do jugglers do it? They keep five things going at once.
还是危险的东西链锯刀子
And dangerous things-- chainsaws, knives.
我还看过一个杂耍人抛接个子小点的杂耍人
I once saw a juggler juggle a smaller juggler.
那有什么危险的
How is that dangerous?
被抛接的杂耍人并非出于自愿
He was juggling the smaller guy against his will.
那是表演的一部分还是自然发生的
Was that part of the act or something that just happened?
我没看到开头
I didn't see the start of it.
重点是同时处理很多东西并不容易
The point is juggling a lot of things is hard,
尤其当有些东西根本不想在现场
especially if some of those things don't want to be there.
计划是什么
So, what's the plan?
我们掌握了一切信息但她并不知道
We have all the information, but she doesn't know that.
-所以我们终于比她领先一步 -好不容易
- So for once, we're one step ahead. - Finally!
我提议我们进去问她学校怎么样了
I say we go in, ask her about school,
给她机会自己说出托盘的事
and give her the chance to talk about the tray thing.
-机智 -是啊
- Smart. - Yes.
我能听见你们说话
I can hear you.
-妈的 -操
- Shit. - Fuck.
艾比你在里面吗
Abby, are you in there?
如果在我跟你妈想和你谈谈
If so, your mother and I would like to talk to you.
老天啊进来吧
Oh, my God. Come in.
我想主动向你们坦承一件事
Guys, I have some unprompted honesty I'd love to share with you.
我用托盘打了一个人
I hit someone with a tray.
我们现在知道了
Well, now we know.
我们不知道的是你当时在想什么
What we don't know is what you were thinking.
他在网上欺负他前女友
He was being a dick to his ex-girlfriend online.
有些人是很混♥蛋♥ 艾比
Well, people can be jerks, Abby.
但除非他们拿着刀向你冲来
But unless they come at you with a knife,
否则你不能这样袭击他们
you can't attack them like that.
妈妈你还杀人吃人呢
Mom, you kill and eat people.
我杀人吃人是因为不得已
I kill and eat people because I have to.
我用托盘打他也是不得已
I hit him with a tray because I had to.
你妈妈身体出状况了
Your mother has a medical condition.
你这样比较很没礼貌
That comparison is offensive.
-对吧 -对
- Right? - Right.
我很担心你的未来你有可能被开除
I'm just worried about your future. You could get expelled.
我不会被开除
I'm not getting expelled.