老爸有招

Man with a Plan S03E12

Part 2 April 11, 2020, 12:20 p.m.

你做什么运动呢
What sport did you play?
羽毛球
Badminton.
好吧你这个运动确实不咋地
Well, you weren't doing yourself any favors.
如果你不打算说什么就让我来
Look, if you won't say anything, then let me do it.
好吗她需要知道如果对你出言不逊
Okay? She needs to know that there are consequences
就要承担后果
when she's mean to you.
绝对不行好吗
Absolutely not, okay?
你别管我有自己的计划
You stay out of it. I have my own plan.
等我们五十周年纪念日的时候
At our 50th anniversary party,
我周围都是可爱的孙子外孙们
when I'm surrounded by all my grandchildren
而她孤独地坐在轮椅上
and she's in a wheelchair, hobbled with loneliness,
她抬头看我那时我们都会知道
she'll look at me, and we'll both know
我赢了
I won.
但是那时候还要好久啊
But that'll take forever.
七块九毛九
$7.99?
这些绝对要退货
Oh, we're returning these.
米克酒馆
《老爸有招》第三季第十二集
我受不了安迪的妹妹了
I can't take much more of Andi's sister.
我想让她离开我们家
I'm trying to get her out of my house,
可是安迪还给她做四星级早餐
Andi's making her a four-star breakfast.
想要赶走老鼠怎么能往地板上扔芝士呢
You don't get rid of rats by throwing cheese on the floor.
除非芝士里有毒
Unless you put poison in the cheese.
但那样的话事态就有些严重了
But then you've escalated things quite a bit.
我不喜欢凯莉
I'm not a fan of Kelly.
当初我给安迪当伴娘的时候
Yeah. When we were Andi's bridesmaids,
她跟我说黄色很适合我
she told me that the color yellow looked good on me
因为跟我的牙颜色搭
because it matched my teeth.
我没计较因为我不想毁了安迪的婚礼
I let it slide, 'cause I didn't want to ruin Andi's wedding.
你是说我们的婚礼
You mean our wedding.
就是安迪的婚礼
Eh, it was Andi's wedding.
没人看新郎
Nobody wants to look at the groom.
所以你们都穿黑色的像工作人员
That's why they make you dress in black, like a roadie.
我想的是让凯莉的日子不好过
What I'm thinking is, if we make life unpleasant for Kelly,
她自己就走了但我不能出手
she'll leave, but I can't do it.
所以我需要的是不愉快制♥造♥者
No. So what I need is a maker of unpleasantness, huh?
这就让我想到了你玛茜
Which brings me to you, Marcy.
你特别擅长让别人
You're really good at making people
自卑痛苦
feel bad about themselves.
你嘴好甜啊
That is so sweet.
我为我的技能骄傲这可得来不易的
No, I-I'm proud of my skills. They didn't come easy.
我一直在大唐身上练习
I had to practice on Don.
我就是你的沙包宝贝
I'm your speedbag, baby.
所以你愿意帮我
So... so you'll do it?
当然我说凯莉的话已经憋了十♥八♥年♥了
Sure. Sure, I've had stuff to say to Kelly for 18 years.
她的脚特别大对不对
She has big feet, right?
把她的鞋给你一只
Oh, you could row one of her shoes
你能用它在湖上泛舟
across a lake like a canoe.
大家好
Hey, guys. u202dHey.
你拿的什么东西
What do you got there?
是一位女士送我的饼干
They're cookies, and a woman gave them to me
喜欢我并且不是我的亲戚
and she likes me and I'm not related to her.
你跟人约会呢
Uh... you seeing someone?
对她叫梅兰妮
I am. Her name is Melanie,
一个月之前在健身房♥认识的
and we met a month ago at the gym
当时我在爬梯机上头晕目眩
when I became lightheaded on the StairMaster.
一个月了啊很认真啊
A month, huh? Sounds serious.
虽然我不喜欢聊八卦
Well, I don't like to kiss and tell,
但我们吻过了八卦地说我很喜欢
but I have kissed, and I must tell you, I liked it.
我了解你洛厄尔
I know you, Lowell, okay?
你只要跟人一上♥床♥
Whoever you sleep with,
就会像小鸭子印随一样
you're gonna imprint on like a baby duck.
没错
That's true.
我觉得我们得见见这个姑娘
So I think we should meet this girl.
也许你可以把关
Maybe you could check her out
别让我被她的饼干蒙蔽了双眼
and make sure I'm not blinded by her cookies.
成熟点洛厄尔那叫大馒头
Grow up, Lowell. They're called knockers.
今晚带她来好吗
Hey.Bring her by tonight, okay?
这样人多起来就能掩护玛茜嘴炮
It'll help fill up the room and distract Andi
不让安迪发现
from my hit man Marcy.
你说得对
Yeah. You're right.
洛厄尔带着女朋友来
With Lowell and his lady there,
我就成了背景
I'll just be a face in the crowd.
没错你来开火
Exactly. You'll do the hit,
把枪扔下奶油卷带走[电影《教父》著名台词]
drop the gun, take the cannoli.
亚当这是我的女伴梅兰妮
Adam, this is my date Melanie.
很高兴见到你
Hi. Nice to meet you.
你对洛厄尔有什么企图
So, uh, what are your intentions with Lowell?
你知道洛厄尔没钱对吧
You know he doesn't have any money, right?
我可以给他买♥♥点人身保险
I figure I'll just take out some life insurance on him,
然后让他练爬梯机等保险金到手
put him on a StairMaster and wait for my payday.
她很幽默
Ah, she's funny.
非常好你前妻就不幽默
That's good. Your ex-wife wasn't very funny.
你把朋友们邀请来可真好玩
It's so fun having your friends over.
像来跳广场舞的
It's like a hoedown.
会不会有驴车游♥行♥
Is there gonna be a hay ride?
我看看能不能给你搞一辆来
I'll see if I can rustle one up.
跟我说说...
So,tell me about you. u202dWell, I...
玛茜来了我得走了
Oh, Marcy's here. Got to go.
-准备好了吗 -我不仅准备好了
- You ready for this? - Oh, I am more than ready.
我们一路都在听《洛基》主题曲
We listened to the Rocky theme the whole way over.
我自己都热血有些沸腾了
I'm kind of pumped up, myself.
凯莉
Kelly, hey, uh,
你还记得玛茜吧我们婚礼上见过的
you remember Marcy, don't you? From our wedding?
你好凯莉
Hmm... u202dHello, Kelly.
我一眼都没认出来是你
Oh, I didn't recognize you at first.
大家老得各有不同你还真是十足用力
Well, people age differently, and you're doing your best.
干杯
Ch...
你让她就那么走了一个字都没说
You just let her walk away. You didn't even say anything.
我还没准备好呢
I wasn't ready.
开始钟声还没响她就狠狠揍了我一拳
She sucker-punched me before the bell.
变老虽然很难但我在努力中
I mean, aging is hard, and I am doing my best.
不别这样忍♥一下就过去了冠军
Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Shake it off, champ.
来吧专心点
Come on, stay focused. All right?
把她当做大唐
Oh! Pretend she's Don.
有帮助
Yeah, that helps.
寿司不是日本最流行的食物
You know, sushi isn't the most popular food in Japan.
是拉棉
It's rom-yon.
你是说拉面吧
You mean ramen?
你要是在东京这么说
Oh, we would have a big laugh in Tokyo
我们能笑死
hearing you say it like that.
好吧谁还要添一杯玛格丽特酒
Okay. Hey, who's ready for another margarita, huh?
看我要
Ooh, look, I am.
干掉她玛茜
Get her, Marcy.
凯莉你刚刚跟我说的那句话
So, Kelly, about what you said to me before.
对不起
Oh, I'm so sorry.
我的意思是大家老得各有不同
What I meant to say was people age differently,
你还真是十足用力
and you're doing your best.
你第一次也是这么说的
That's-that's exactly what you said the first time.
她们俩干嘛呢
What's up with those two?
不知道
Uh, no idea.
我知道没关系
You know what, it's okay.
我理解你的毒舌
I understand you lashing out,
看着你的姐姐家庭幸福
seeing your sister with her wonderful family,
而你孤身一人
and you all alone.
感觉一定非常空虚吧
Mm, it must feel like such an empty life...
站在一双巨足之上
set on top of two gigantic feet.
是吗让我告诉你
Oh, yeah? Well, let me tell you something.
你完全说对了
You're absolutely right.
我说什么了
Huh? u202dI'm what, now?
我确实很空虚
I do have an empty life.