老爸有招

Man with a Plan S03E07

Part 2 April 11, 2020, 12:19 p.m.

What kind of business?
不关你的事
None of your business business.
今晚你泰迪和艾米要和
So, you, Teddy and Emme are gonna be staying
唐伯伯和玛茜婶婶待在一起
with Uncle Don and Aunt Marcy.
或者
Or...
我觉得我已经够大了
I think I'm old enough now
可以自己在家待一夜了
to stay home by myself for one night.
你觉得呢
What do you say?
-好 -不行
- Okay. u202d- No.
储物间
Pantry.
听着
Okay.
我们不能留凯蒂一个人在家
We are not leaving Katie here by herself;
不能相信她
she can't be trusted.
她可是我们俩的孩子
She's got our DNA.
流着咣咣灌啤酒跑去骑野牛的血液
Our beer-chugging, mechanical bull-riding DNA.
她成绩优秀有责任感
She gets good grades, she's responsible,
是个好姑娘
she's a good girl.
我们家有只金毛刚长大的时候也是个好姑娘
We had a golden retriever growing up that was a good girl.
你知道我们出门她自己在家的时候都做什么吗
You know what she did every time we left her alone?
跳出栅栏然后怀孕了
Jumped the fence and got pregnant.
她现在在学校的生活很辛苦的
She's having a tough time at school, all right?
她最好的朋友搬家了
Her best friend moved away.
她还没找到新的社交团体
She hasn't found a new social circle yet.
她想这样
Look, she wants this;
我们就给她点好东西
let's just do something nice for her.
我们每天都给她食物和衣服
We give her food and clothes every single day.
好吧我问问你
All right, let me ask you this:
你更想要哪一样
what do you want more?
凯蒂这件事的胜利还是去酒店上♥床♥
To win this Kate thing, or hotel sex?
我投酒店上♥床♥ 我是单一问题投票者好吧
I vote for hotel sex. I'm a single-issue voter, okay?
凯蒂好消息
Katie, great news.
好的泰迪和艾米去唐伯伯家
Okay, so Teddy and Emme are at Uncle Don's...
大家知道彼此的位置
Okay, everyone knows where everyone is.
别吻别了没时间浪费了
Blow some kisses. No time to waste.
我邀请谢尔比和温思洛来家里行吗
Would it be okay if I invited Shelby and Winslow over?
《布偶大电影》里面那两个老人
The two old guys from The Muppets?
不是是我西班牙语课的女同学
No. They're girls from my Spanish class.
我和她们多相处
But I'm thinking I might get to know them better
可以更了解她们
if we hang out.
你可以明天跟她们相处
You-you can hang out tomorrow, okay?
今晚家里只能有你一个人
Nobody but you here tonight.
你邀请几个人她们再邀请几个人
You invite someone over, they invite more people.
接下来我家客厅就变成狂欢节现场了
Next thing you know, I got Burning Man in my living room.
你在家只有你
You in the house, just you.
坐着什么都别做
Sitting around, doing nothing.
开心点我爱你
Have fun. I love you.
亲爱的
Honey,
这话就我们俩知道
just between you and me,
去邀请那些姑娘来
go ahead and have those girls over.
-可老爸说 -别担心老爸
- But Dad just said... - Don't worry about Dad.
他没空管别的事
He's got other things on his mind.
快走
Come on.
你能不能快点我有很多想法
Would you please come on? I've got ideas. u202dOkay.
好啊牛仔
Howdy, cowboy.
西部妓♥女♥ 我喜欢
Ooh, Old West prostitute. I like it.
不我是拓荒的女人
No, no, I'm a pioneer woman.
没错耕地还要喂饱我们12个孩子
Yeah, farming the land to feed our 12 children.
我们还是做自己吧
Let's just be ourselves.
已经15天了肯定有新鲜感
It's been 15 days. It'll seem new.
等会我们去清空小冰箱里的零食
Later, we should raid those minibar snacks.
是赠送的
They're complimentary.
事情顺利的话
Well, if we do this thing right,
你没力气去吃小冰箱的零食了
you won't be awake for minibar snacks.
怎么了
What is it?
我开始想到那些床虱了
I started thinking about those bedbugs. u202d
这间好像是我们上次
I think this might be the same room
住的那个房♥间
that we had last time.
一样的平面图床窗户和电视
It's got the same floor plan: bed, window, TV.
这是酒店房♥间平面图都是一样的
It's a hotel room. They all have that floor plan.
对没错
Right. Right.
我仿佛能感觉到那些虫子在我身上
It-It's like I can feel bugs on me.
那些东西吸血的
Those things drink blood.
万一有一只咬到那里呢
And what if one of 'em bites me there?
到时候血液肯定都在那里
That's where all the blood will be.
不会有事的好吗
Everything's gonna be fine. All right?
快点过来吧我的伴侣
Now, mosey on over here, partner.
快来
Come on.
我做不到对不起
I-I can't do it, I'm sorry.
泰迪在大唐和玛茜家
Hey, Teddy is at Don and Marcy's.
也就是说主卧的床是空的
That means our bed is empty.
咱们直接回家吧
Le-Let's just go home.
你想回家去吗
You want to go home?
我会把家里变成酒店的
I'll make it just like a hotel, okay.
我在枕头上放点巧克力
I'll put chocolates on the pillow,
早上的时候我们可以偷拿自己的洗发水
and in the morning, we can steal our own shampoo.
好可以
Okay, yeah, that--
我给凯特发个短♥信♥提醒她不告诉她
Let me just text Kate and warn her-- tell her
我们要回家了
that we're coming home.
好我这就出去了
Good, good, great. I am out of here.
亚当
Adam.
玻璃电梯
Glass elevator.
好要穿裤子
Right. Pants.
来自妈妈
让你的朋友们赶紧走
我们要回家了
我爸要来了所有人都出去
My dad's coming. Everybody out!
快点赶紧走
Go, go! Get out!
出去出去走走走
Out, out, out, out. Go, go, go, go!
天哪
Oh, my...!
-嗨 -妈妈回来了
- Hi. - Hey, Mom.
我家女儿真乖
There's my girl.
一个人待着我就知道是这样
All alone, like I knew you would be.
好了凯特我们很累了
Okay. Hey, Katie, we're very tired,
打算直接回卧室睡觉
so we're just gonna go straight up to bed.
好
Okay.
我没吃到小冰箱里的零食
I never got my minibar snacks.
这房♥间有人了哥们
This room's taken, bro.
凯特储藏间里有两个小年轻搂搂抱抱的
Katie, there were teenagers canoodling in our pantry.
这是怎么发生的
How did this happen?
事情怎么发生的并不重要
It doesn't matter how it happened. u202d
我们也不需要知道是谁说了什么话
We don't even need to know what anybody said
才导致这样的情况
that might've led up to it.
我想知道
I want to know.
她开了派对
She had a party.
我明明说了不许开派对
The one thing I told her not to do.
不是派对
It wasn't a party.
不是派对吗
Oh, it wasn't a party?
那你应该不介意
Well, then you won't mind
我去门外垃圾桶检查一下咯
if I check the trash outside for evidence, huh?
屋里看起来太干净了
This house looks a little too clean.
我跟你妈一起生活这么久了...
I've been living with your mother for a long time...
你什么意思
Hey!
等等
Wait!
在你去之前我要告诉你
Before you do that, I should tell you.
之前有个邻居过来
A neighbor came by...
问我他能不能
and he asked if he could
把他家的啤酒罐扔在咱家垃圾桶里
dump his beer cans into our trash.
后来他说他要搬走了
And... then he said he was moving away
所以我们再也见不到他了
so we'll never see him again.
凯特啊
Oh, Katie.
你摊上事了凯特
Oh-ho-ho, Katie.
好吧这里确实开了派对
Okay, fine. There was a party.