老爸有招

Man with a Plan S03E04

Part 3 April 11, 2020, 12:19 p.m.

大唐安迪·沃霍尔
Don. Andy Warhol?
纽约的
From New York?
在大都会队里打游击手的
Plays shortstop for the Mets?
对没错我知道了
Oh, right, right. Okay.
洛厄尔看看WallHoleUSA.Com这个域名有人占了吗
Hey, Lowell, see if anyone owns the name WallHoleUSA.Com.
对这个网址得开个网店
Yeah, we're definitely gonna want that for the online store.
周边产品才是挣钱的王道
The money is in the merchandise.
“墙洞”网已经有人占了
Someone already has the Wall Hole site,
内容真是不堪入目
but the subject matter's quite disturbing.
她可没想到会是这样
Ooh, she was not expecting that.
也许她想到了
Oh-- well, maybe she was.
爸爸
Hey, Dad. u202dHey.
爸你怎么来了
Dad, what are you doing here?
你膝盖手术以后应该在家多休息的
You're supposed to be home resting from your knee surgery.
听大唐说你们这群小子在这里搞了点好东西
Well, we heard from Don that you boys had something good
我就和你们的妈妈说我的护士
going on over here, so I told your mother that my nurse, uh...
我的名字叫趣奇你可以叫我名字
Oh, my name is Funchy. You can just call me that.
没问题小护士
Sure thing, Nursey.
说我应该走出去进行复健散步
Said I should get out of the house and take a rehab walk.
所以是怎么回事
So, uh, what's going on?
希望那个洞是你们往里扔东西用的
I hope you're throwing something into that hole.
我们得跟你谈谈
We need to talk to you.
怎么了
What's going on?
你说怎么了这一周我们的丈夫每天晚上
You tell us. Our husbands have been over at Lowell's apartment
都往洛厄尔家里泡
every night this week.
他们准备干嘛
What are they up to?
什么事都没有
They're not up to anything.
他们是去帮助洛厄尔度过这个艰难时期
They're helping Lowell during a difficult time.
我还挺为他们骄傲的
I'm actually very proud of them.
心疼你很傻很天真
Bless her little heart.
不是真的
No, I-it's true.
你们也应该高兴我们的丈夫是好人
I-- you should be happy. Our husbands are good people.
我非常怀疑这一点
I highly doubt that.
他们肯定是得到了什么好处
Something's in it for them,
否则他们是不会去的
or else they wouldn't be over there.
不会
No.
吧
Well...
确实像亚当的做事风格
That does sound more like Adam.
该死我本来还以为他已经长大成人了呢
Shoot. You know, I really thought he was growing as a person.
宝贝男人永远长不大
Honey, they don't do that.
好的我们来到了赛点
All right. We're at match point.
这是墙洞史上的第一个赛点
For the first time in the history of Wall Hole,
墙洞球
一对父子在季后赛上狭路相逢
a father and son meet in the playoffs.
血浓于水还是比赛第一
Can a family survive it?
好的
u202dAll right.
老爸进决赛了
Dad makes it to the finals.
就算只用一条腿老爷子也把你打得满地找牙
Even on one leg, the old man smoked you.
他用心理战了
He gets in my head.
你的心是我生的里面的路我可熟了呢
I built that head. I know my way around in there.
胜利者在此
Well, I've got winner.
当护士当得我精疲力竭
You know, I was getting burned out on nursing,
但现在我是职业运动员了
but now that I'm a pro athlete,
我的激♥情♥又回来了
I've got my passion back.
是安迪所有人都安静
Ooh, it's Andi. Uh, everybody shush.
我们马上就比赛了
Well, we're starting a game here.
如果我被抓了会拉着你们垫背的
Look, if I go down, we all go down.
我要怎么被拉下去
Uh, how exactly will I go down?
我...就是所有安静
Well, I-- Just, everybody, shush.
亲爱的
Hey, honey.
没有洛厄尔状态不是太好
No, Lowell's not doing so good.
周五本来是他和珍的电影夜
Friday was his and Jen's movie night,
所以勾起了好多回忆
so it's bringing up a lot of feelings.
我们怕是要看哈利波特全集了
I think we're gonna watch all the Harry Potters.
好的拜亲爱的
Okay, bye, honey.
安迪完全不知道
Andi has no idea.
比赛开始了各位
It's game on, boys.
他真是太差劲了
Well, he's terrible at this.
他挂电♥话♥之前就把安迪完全不知道说出来了
He didn't even hang up before he said "Andi has no idea."
我们怎么办
So what's our move?
我只能说我包里放了四年的辣椒喷雾
All I can say is, I've had pepper spray in my purse
准备在过期之前把它用掉
for four years, and I want to use it before it expires.
是披萨来了
That'll be the pizza.
不敢相信洛厄尔开始感觉好多了
I can't believe that Lowell started feeling better
就在此时此刻
this very minute.
我建议大家回到家里去陪自己美丽的妻子如何
I say we all go home to our beautiful wives. Huh?
女士们好啊
Oh, hey, ladies.
没看到你们来了
Didn't see you there.
没错我是对为什么去洛厄尔家撒谎了
Yes, I lied about why I was at Lowell's.
但是你在我掩盖真♥相♥之前就埋伏了我
But you ambushed me before I could cover it up.
所以到底是谁的错呢
So who's really at fault?
你利用朋友的不幸出去玩
You used your friend's unhappiness
来逃避家里的事情
to go out and have fun and avoid stuff around here.
什么没有我爱家里的事情
What? No. I love the stuff around here.
还是你在逃避我
Or were you trying to avoid me?
没有没有
No. No.
逃避的是家里的事情
It was the stuff around here.
你编造理由晚上出去玩
I mean, you're making up reasons to go out at night,
还不希望我在公♥司♥有桌子
and... and... you don't want me to have a desk at work.
没错现在事情都联♥系♥起来了
Yeah. It's starting to come together now,
全都是有关联的
it's all connected.
不不是不要再连线了
No, no, stop connecting things.
好吗亲爱的我发誓
Okay? H-Honey, I swear,
只是因为我想出去做点傻事
this is just about me trying to get away with something silly.
那到底是怎么回事
Well, then, what's really going on?
好吧听着
Okay, fine. Look-- uh...
我只是想享受一下休息时间
I was just trying to enjoy a little break.
不是逃离你
But not from you.
是因为学校的作业
There's school projects
还有鞋需要除屎还有
and shoes that need de-poopifying, and...
孩子们永远不关灯
and the kids never turn off a light.
我这辈子大概有三年的时间
I have probably spent three years of my life
是用来关灯的
turning off lights.
你肯定了解我说的这些
I mean, you have to know what I'm talking about.
不我不了解
No, I don't.
我觉得和孩子们在一起的每一分钟
I find every minute with my children
都是快乐而珍贵的
to be a joy to treasure.
讲真
Do you?
两周以前你去大超♥市♥给泰迪买♥♥新内♥裤♥的时候
Two weeks ago, when you went to Target to buy Teddy new shorts?
因为去得太久我都担心了
You were gone so long, I got worried.
于是我也去了
Yeah. So I went down there.
你猜我在电视区看到谁了
And you know who I saw, drinking an Icee,
边喝沙冰边看心理医生脱口秀
watching Dr. Phil in the TV section?
我失踪已久的双胞胎姐妹
My long-lost twin sister?
不是你哦宝贝
No, it was you, baby.
但我什么都没说
But I didn't say anything.
悄悄离开让你享受因为我懂
I left and let you have your time because I get it.
然后记在小本本上
And also, to keep in my pocket
留着应对这种事情的发生
in case something like this came up.
非常对不起让你发现了
Well, I'm very sorry... that you found out about that.
我们确实花了很多时间
You know, we do spend a lot of time
来照顾其他人
taking care of other people.
我说的就是这个意思
That's all I'm saying.
既然我们都摊开来说了
And since we're coming clean,
坦白说你发现的那次不是第一次了
I should tell you that time at Target, it wasn't my first.
那里的人已经认识我了
They know me there.
熟到可以让我用遥控器
They let me use the remote
可以遥控所有的65台电视
that controls all 65 TVs.
还有主遥控
There's a master remote? u202d
有多大我需要知道它有多大
How big is it? I need to know how big it is.
虽然不大但很重