老爸有招

Man with a Plan S03E03

Part 3 April 11, 2020, 12:18 p.m.

I'm surprised you came into work today.
考虑到泰迪的事情上我做得这么对
Considering how right I was about Teddy,
我以为你会请个"错"假
I thought you might call in wrong.
可惜错的是你
Well, you'd be wrong.
因为我刚跟泰迪学校的人通完电♥话♥
Yeah, 'cause I just had an interesting conversation with Teddy's school.
他在课间休息的时候推了其他孩子
He spent the morning pushing kids at recess.
什么乖孩子泰迪居然动了粗
What?! Sweet little Teddy took it to the streets?
作为妈妈我不能容忍♥这件事
As a mom, I don't condone that.
我没让他推其他孩子
I didn't tell him to push other kids.
你记得我怎么跟你说的吗
Do you remember what I told you?
我说这件事上你迟早会被打脸
That this was gonna blow up in your face?
请不要纠结于过去
Let's not live in the past.
我们应该展望未来
Let's be about the future.
未来就是我跟你说 "我早告诉过你"
Well, the future is gonna be me telling you, "I told you so."
我早告诉过你欢迎来到未来
I told you so. Welcome to the future.
柯林斯校长我们感到很抱歉
Principal Collins, we are so sorry.
我感到抱歉是因为他是我家孩子
I mean, I-I'm sorry because he's my kid, and,
他感到抱歉是因为这都是他的错
well, he's sorry 'cause it's all his fault.
我早告诉过你
Told you so.
说实话泰迪是个好孩子
Look, Teddy is a good kid.
他只是有点没控制住自己
He just got a little carried away.
我们没必要反应过度
I don't think we have to overreact.
因为我们学校决不允许大家斗殴
Well, due to our zero tolerance policy on fighting,
他这周放学后都需要留校察看
I'm placing him in detention for the rest of the week.
我只是在保护小孩子不受霸凌
I was just protecting little kids from bullies.
这个事实很重要
Well, that changes everything.
我们都反对霸凌但愿如此
We are all against bullying here, I... I hope.
你不是提倡霸凌吧
You're not pro-bully, are you?
当然不是
Of course not.
我只是按蝙蝠侠的方法做的
I thought I was just acting like Batman.
你瞧瞧
There you go. Huh?
你不会让蝙蝠侠留校察看的对不对
You wouldn't put Batman in detention, would you?
另一个选择是给他一件蝙蝠衣
Another option might be to give him a little Batsuit
让他惩恶扬善
and let him do his thing.
公♥司♥的人都觉得我很幽默
People think I'm funny at work.
行了你下班吧
Okay, that's it. You are off the job.
接下来是妈妈时间
It is Mom time now.
妈妈时间这话很逗
Mom time. That's funny.
这个观众不适合我
This is not my crowd.
你闯大祸了先生
You are in big trouble, mister.
你不能到处推别人
You can't go around pushing people.
懂吗你要用言语沟通或者找大人解决
All right? You use your words, or you get an adult.
如果大人是爸爸而他让我推他们呢
What if that adult is Dad, and he tells me to shove them?
你别拉我下水呀
Don't take me down with you.
我俩可是睡一个屋的
We sleep in the same room.
这样做永远是不对的
It is never okay, ever.
那如果有人欺负艾米
What if someone's picking on Emme,
言语沟通不管用周围又没大人怎么办
and my words don't work, and there's no adults around?
那...
Well...
那...
Well...
那就...
Well, y...
你让她哑口无言了孩子
You stumped her, pal.
你这周真是人生巅峰
What a week for you.
我没哑口无言好吗
I'm not stumped, okay?
我只是想花点时间想一想
I'm just taking a moment to figure out
要怎么跟你解释很明显
how to explain that obviously...
答案就是...
...the answer is...
我得去另一个房♥间跟你♥爸♥说
something I'm gonna tell your dad in the other room.
-爸 -怎么
- Dad? u202d- Hmm?
妈还会训我吗
Am I still in trouble?
我觉得咱俩现在形势一片大好
I think things are looking up for both of us.
亲爱的请讲
Yes, darling?
我我不知道该跟他说什么了
Look, I-I don't know what to say to him.
我不希望任何人欺负我女儿
I mean, I don't want anybody pushing my daughter,
但是作为妈妈我不能让他去推其他孩子
but as a mom, I can't tell him to push another kid.
-你希望我去跟他说吗 -对
- So you want me to talk to him? u202d- Yeah.
-因为你是妈妈 -对
- Because you're the mom. u202d- Yeah.
而我是...
And I'm the...
我是什么来着
What am I again?
跟"伟大"押韵
Rhymes with "Glad."
傻瓜吗
Bonehead?
输了还嘴硬我敬你有胆识
Going down swinging. I respect that.
好吧你是爸爸
Okay. Fine, you're the dad,
妈妈和爸爸之间是有区别的
and there's differences between moms and dads.
我现在需要你来处理这件事
Now I really need you to handle this!
做对事的感觉太好了
It feels so good to be right. u202d
你平时肯定一直是这个感觉
This must be what it feels like to be you.
好了
All right.
泰迪
Teddy,
请走进电梯我们一起上楼
step into the elevator and let's take a ride up
进入男人空间
to the men's department.
好了吗
Okay?
是这样的
Here's the deal.
你当不了世界警♥察♥
You can't police the world.
言语沟通是你的第一选择也是最好选择
Using your words is your first and best option.
但是有时候
But sometimes...
如果言语沟通不管用
if your words don't work,
那你可以采取必要的措施来保护你的家人
you do what you have to do to protect your family.
这是我们的生活准则懂吗
That is the code that we live by, hmm?
听起来好像黑帮
You're making it sound like the mob.
没错谢谢你安迪
Yes! Thank you, Andi.
谢谢我们就像黑帮
Thank you. We are like the mob.
明白吗与黑帮一样
Okay? And like the mob,
如果犯罪了
if you do the crime,
就得去坐牢
you do the time.
所以你要留校察看
So, it's detention at school,
而且你还得跟操场上那些孩子们道歉
and I want you to apologize to those kids from the playground.
好吧好吧
Okay. Okay.
我们的黑帮包括我女朋友吗
So does our mob include my girlfriend?
你有女朋友了吗
You have a girlfriend?
你的第一位女朋友吗
Your first girlfriend?
什么时候有的
Since when?
今天女孩们很喜欢蝙蝠侠
Since today. Chicks dig Batman.
上楼去吧给自己画点胸毛儿子
Head upstairs and draw on some chest hair, son.
那是你应得的
You've earned it.
你是个好孩子泰迪
You're a good boy, Teddy!
泰迪这事你处理得不错
That was pretty good with Teddy. u202d
你也做出了贡献
Hey, you did your part, too.
你只是说来安慰我的
Nah, you're just saying that.
不我是认真的
No, I'm serious.
妈妈会激发孩子们更好的天性
Moms appeal to kids' better nature,
而爸爸则教会他们如何保护自己
and dads teach them how to defend themselves
不受没有好妈妈的人们欺负
when other people don't have good moms.
说得真好
I like that.
我说话也可以很深刻的
Yeah, I can get deep.
是因为啤酒喝了啤酒就会很深刻
It's the beer. Beer makes me deep.
-兄弟 -你来了
- Hey, man. u202d- Hey.
我试了所有办法还是无法说服爸请护士
I tried everything, but I can't get Dad to agree to a nurse.
这会危及他的健康还会让妈妈失望
I'm jeopardizing his health, disappointing Mom.
我好难受
I feel terrible.
老唐我不希望看你这样
Oh, Don, I hate seeing you like this.
好吧我去跟爸爸谈
Okay, I'll talk to Dad.
-不许反悔 -什么
- No take-backs! - Wha...?
什么你居然套路我
What? You tricked me!
没错现在是你的事了
That's right. It's all on you now.
我不想处理这事
I don't want to deal with this.
你也可以不处理呀
Well, you don't have to do it.
他说了不许反悔
He said no take-backs.
他给我安排得明明白白了安迪
He got me fair and square, Andi.
爸
Dad,
我们需要严肃地谈一谈