老爸有招
Man with a Plan
第三季
剧集 | 老爸有招 | 导航列表
老爸有招
Man with a Plan S03E01
Part 3
April 11, 2020, 12:18 p.m.
然后再回来这里
but then I come back over here,
因为真正的派对就在这里
because this is where the party happens.
你连个电视都没有
You don't even have a TV.
电视 洛厄尔
A TV, Lowell!
我不介意 我就把手♥机♥用胶带贴墙上
I don't mind. I just tape my phone
然后看手♥机♥
to the wall and watch that.
好吧 也算有个看的东西
Okay. I guess that's something.
等等 你的床在哪里
Wait. Where's the bed?
我走的时候拿上了我女儿的睡袋
I grabbed my daughter's sleeping bag on the way out.
可是睡袋还不到一米长
But it's three feet long.
没关系 这几天我都是以胎儿的姿势睡觉
That's okay. These days, I sleep in the fetal position.
你不是说不会有感受吗
You said there wouldn't be feelings.
我现在有很强烈的感受 洛厄尔
That gives me a big feeling, Lowell!
抱歉 那你要不要
I'm sorry. Do you want to
走去那里待一会 然后再回来
walk over there for a second and come back over here?
这样对我有帮助
It helps me.
行了 把你东西收拾好
All right, get your stuff.
你跟我走
You're coming with me.
-真的吗 -我肯定不能留你在这里
- Really? u202d- Well, I can't leave you here.
你没有电视 你会死的
You have no TV. You'll die!
洛厄尔现在住我们家啦
So Lowell's staying with us?
对 是的是的
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
这下你高兴了
Are you happy now?
我高兴了 我觉得我今天去上班是好事
I am happy. I think it's a good thing I went to work today.
我问你"这下你高兴了" 就是说我不高兴了
When I ask, "Are you happy now?", it means I'm not happy.
好吧 等帮助完洛厄尔 我们再帮你
Okay, well, after we help Lowell, we'll help you.
进食品室
Pantry!
你 你难道不明白你做了什么吗
Don't... don't you see what you did?
如果我不知情 我就不必付出行动
If I don't know about stuff, I don't have to fix it.
所以我每次看到联♥合♥国♥儿童基金会广♥告♥
That's why I turn off the UNICEF commercial
都会在儿童的画面出来之前关掉
before they show the kids.
否则 我就会特别难过 然后给他们买♥♥山羊
Otherwise, it's too sad, and I end up buying 'em a goat.
你知道已经有多少名叫"亚当"的山羊在村里吗
You know how many goats are running around villages named Adam?
基金会并不会以你的名字...
They-they don't name the goats after...
好吧 会的 会的
Yes, they do. Yes, they do.
是你让我陷入这个境地
You put me in this position!
所以你是因为我觉得你是个好人而生气吗
So you're mad because I think you're a good person?
反正我不喜欢
I don't love it.
现在因为你 我沙发上坐着一个伤心的巨婴
And now, thanks to you, I got a giant sad kid on my couch,
我还得做点什么
and I got to fix it.
因为你是个心地善良心思细腻的男人
Because you're a sweet and sensitive man.
你这招太low了 安迪
That's a low blow, Andi.
你为什么没告诉我们你和珍分开了
Why didn't you tell us you and Jen split up?
因为这只是暂时的
Because it's just temporary.
对 洛厄尔跟我们解释说
Yeah, Lowell explained to us
他在给珍一些空间 而她正在暂时性地
that he's giving Jen some space while she temporarily
跟她的马术教练上♥床♥
sleeps with her horse-riding instructor.
对 开车回家的路上就像
Yeah, the whole car ride home
一条很长的联♥合♥国♥基金会广♥告♥
was one long UNICEF commercial.
我有个问题
I have a question.
她跟一个骑马的人在一起了对吧
She's with a horse guy, right?
所以我不禁在想
It makes me wonder.
"滚床单"这个短语会不会起源于
Do you think "Roll in the hay" comes
在干草棚里滚来滚去
from doing it in the hayloft?
这个问题留着以后问吧
Maybe let's save the questions for the end.
我真的没事
Guys, I'm fine.
我们应该很快就会复合了
I'm sure we'll be back together soon.
我还有个问题
I-I have another question.
不 不是
No, no, no. No.
这次是真问题
It's a real one.
她既然这样对你
If she did this to you,
你为什么还想跟她复合呢
why do you want her back?
有时候 他挺让人惊讶的
Every so often, he surprises you.
就像皮划艇旁边出现一只鲸鱼
Like a whale surfacing next to your kayak.
-有点吓人 但是很美丽 -是啊
- Startling, but beautiful. - Yeah.
我想跟她复合是因为她...
I want her back because she's my...
我们已经...
We've been...
我为什么想跟她复合
Why do I want her back?
我是个很好的丈夫
I was a great husband
可她并不是个很好的妻子
and she wasn't that good a wife.
虽然这是小事
This is a little thing,
但她从来没有换过一次厕纸
but she never once replaced an empty toilet paper roll.
我知道她这样就是想逼我走"鸭步"
I think she did it just to make me duck-walk
裤子脱在脚踝处 在家里跑来跑去
around the house with my pants around my ankles.
没错 企鹅游♥行♥
Ah, yes, the march of the penguins.
我值得更好的
I deserve better!
你知道吗 的确如此
You know what? You really do.
你现在是我团队的一员
And you're on my team now,
没人能欺负我的队员
and no one screws with my team.
我想做点什么
I want to do something.
但是 我不知道该做什么
I just... I don't know what.
我告诉你 你应该做什么
I'll tell you what you're gonna do.
你看他 他要给这个孩子买♥♥山羊了
Look at him. He's gonna buy that kid a goat.
你带着我们一起去你家
You and the team are gonna go over to your house,
把你的东西拿走 这样珍就知道你放开了
get all your stuff and let Jen know that you are moving on.
-没错 -是吧
- Yes! u202d- Right?
-不行 -为什么
- No. u202d- Why?
我家去不了 她和女儿们去了她爸妈家
We can't. Her and the girls are at her parents',
而且她把我家的锁换了
and she changed the locks on our house.
什么 她出轨背叛了你 她居然还换锁
What? She changed the locks on you after what she did?
我真的很想扇这女人一耳光
I really want to slap this girl right in the sweet potatoes.
那我们就强行进去 等她回来
So we'll just break in. Then when she gets back
看到你的东西都不见了
and sees that all your stuff is gone,
她就会非常吃惊了
she'll be in for a big surprise.
-没错 吃惊而难过 -正是
- Yeah, a mean surprise. - Yeah.
就像我那天提前去谷仓接她的感受
Like I got the day I came to pick her up early at the barn.
那些都过去了 我们向前看
Let's not look back. Let's look forward.
她被上的时候肯定在向后看 对吧
I bet she was looking back, though, right?
怎么了 我表现这么好 一个玩笑都不能开吗
What? I've been good this whole time. I don't get one?
好了 放手 放开
Okay. Let go. Let go!
现在很像以前爸爸为了省钱让我们骑一匹马
This is like when Dad tried to save money on the pony ride.
-你进吧 -不 你先进
- Just go. u202d- No, you go ahead.
-好吧 我拉着你一起 -什么 什么
- Okay, I'm taking you with me. - u202dWhat? What?
你在干什么
What are you doing?
把遥控器藏在沙发垫下面
Hiding the remote under the cushion.
这下你试着换个台 珍
Try and change the channel now, Jen.
你得跟个穷光蛋一样走到电视跟前
You'll have to walk to the TV like a sucker.
好了 赶紧拿好洛厄尔的东西 离开这里
Okay, let's just get Lowell's stuff and get out of here.
放轻松 没人看到我们进来
Relax. Nobody saw us break in.
我们很谨慎 像忍♥者一样
We were sneaky, like ninjas.
暗夜安保
Shady Side Security.
他们不知道我们在里面
They don't know we're in here.
我知道你们在里面
I know you're in there.
你们有人穿了发光鞋
One of you is wearing light-up shoes.
我早就说了别穿这双鞋
I told you not to wear those stupid shoes.
这事结束后我和玛茜要去竞走
Marcy and I are going power-walking after this.
安全第一嘛
Safety first, guys.
等等 等等
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
-你打算怎么说 -别担心 我来解决
- What are you gonna say? - Don't worry. I got this.
谢天谢地你来了
Thank God you're here.
这些暴♥力♥悍匪闯进了我的家
These violent criminals broke into my house.
富兰克林先生 你妻子跟我们说
Look, Mr. Franklin, your wife told the office
你们分居了 让我们盯着你 跟我来吧
you two separated and to keep an eye out for you, so, let's go.
等等 还有一个人呢
Wait a minute. Where's the other guy?
还有什么人
What other guy?
我的工资不够让我多管闲事 走吧
They don't pay me enough to care. Come on.
我要是哪天成了悍匪
If I ever become a criminal,
绝对首先来抢劫这个社区
this is the first neighborhood I'm hitting.
没想到亚当居然抛弃了我们
I can't believe Adam ditched us.
我还以为要是有人先跑 肯定会是你
I thought if anybody'd run away, it'd be you.
老爸有招
Man with a Plan
剧集 | 老爸有招 | 导航列表