老爸有招

Man with a Plan S03E11

Part 3 April 11, 2020, 12:20 p.m.

你们要是打算收回对妈妈和玛茜的邀请
Well, if you guys are gonna uninvite Mom and Marcy,
那我也可以去跟安迪说
then I guess I'll uninvite Andi.
很好快谢谢你哥拯救了这次旅行
Good. Now tell your brother thanks for saving the trip.
爸让我说"谢谢你拯救这次旅行"
Dad says I say, "Thanks for saving the trip."
亚当
Adam.
我说了我没说吗
I said it. What'd I say?
瞧瞧我家老婆
Hey, look at you. Hoo-hoo!
浑身上下都透露着性感的气息
Someone fell asleep in the foxy machine.
我给你买♥♥了礼物
I got you something.
今天是什么日子呀
What's the occasion?
没什么日子打开吧
No occasion. Open it.
我的天哪好漂亮
Oh, my gosh, it's beautiful.
是吧看看贺卡写了什么
I know. Yeah. Read the card.
"红玫瑰是红的紫罗兰是紫的
"Roses are red, violets are blue.
你不能来湖边小屋了"
You can't come to the cabin."
"我是爱你的"
"And I love you."
你还没念到押韵的地方
You-you stopped before the rhyme.
这才是整首诗的精华
That's what makes it sweet.
你邀请了我一起去旅行现在居然要收回
I can't believe you just uninvited me from your trip.
好吧我是很希望你能去
Okay, look, I wanted you to go,
但是爸和大唐说 "这次旅行不能带老婆"
but Dad and Don said, "No wives on the trip."
你要是想怪谁的话就怪他们吧
So, if you want to blame someone, blame them.
少数服从多数
I was outvoted.
民♥主♥就这样也就报纸上说得好听
Democracy. Good on paper.
所以这事怪你♥爸♥和大唐吗
So it's your dad and Don's fault?
对这才是这件事的重点
Yes. That is the most important point here.
他们很坏
They're bad.
而我却给你买♥♥了手环
I buy you bracelets.
那我不能生你的气了
Well, I guess I can't be mad at you
因为他们太混♥蛋♥了
because they're jackasses.
确实不能
No, you can't.
可怜的玛茜和贝芙
Poor Marcy and Bev.
我知道
I know.
你
You, uh...
你不会去跟她们说什么的吧
You're not gonna say anything to them, are you?
我怎么说我很同情她们
How could I? I feel bad for them.
这件事上你这么善解人意
You know, you're so understanding about this,
简直都不需要这条手环
you don't even need the bracelet.
也许我可以拿回去退掉
So I could probably get my money back.
你留着吧留着留着吧
You keep it. Keep it! You keep it.
大唐
Don.
我不得不佩服你你的点子成功了
I got to give it to you. Your idea worked.
给你现在是队长了
So, here. You're the captain now.
真是意义重大
This means a lot.
我吃完了三磅重的龙虾免费拿到一顶帽子
You guys put a lot of stock in a hat I got for free one night
你们居然这么当回事
after I finished a three-pound lobster.
你们跟妈妈和玛茜说的时候顺利吗
So how'd it go when you guys uninvited Mom and Marcy?
快看我们为这次旅行买♥♥的同款外套
Check out the coats we got for the cabin trip.
简直等不及了
Oh, we can't wait.
我们一定会玩得非常开心
We are all gonna have so much fun.
你在开玩笑吗
Are you kidding me?!
我不知道这会不会有什么影响
I-I don't know if this is gonna make a difference,
但我们没有按照约好的去做
but we didn't do that thing we said before. u202dMm.
这影响大了去了
That makes a huge difference!
爸之前开会明明说好的怎么回事
Dad, we agreed at the meeting. What happened?
那次会议结束之后大唐又组织开会
Don called a meeting after the meeting
如果只有你唱黑脸会显得我们很好
and said we'd look better if you were the only bad one.
我觉得奏效了
Well... I think it worked.
行吧我决定了
Okay, you know what?
这次旅行我完全不想参与了
I don't want anything to do with this trip.
你们两个去树林里好好开会吧行吗
You two go to the woods and have your secret meetings, okay?
但是你们记住每次只有我带厕纸
Just remember, I'm the only guy that ever brings toilet paper!
而且你们知道吗
Oh, and you know what?
我要全部告诉安迪
I'm telling Andi everything!
全部告诉她
Everything!
该死的大唐这下我们完了
Damn it, Donny! Now we're screwed!
你说会很搞笑的完全不搞笑
You said this would be funny. It wasn't funny at all!
我只能说每个人的幽默感不一样吧
Well, I guess everyone's sense of humor is a little different.
什么
Wha...?
等等十五年来
Hold on. You've been lying
湖边小屋旅行的事你一直在撒谎吗
about this cabin trip for 15 years?
也不全是
Well, not entirely.
确实有湖边小屋
There is a cabin.
但你要是想来一场男人之旅
But if you wanted it to be a guys' trip,
为什么不直接告诉我呢
why didn't you just tell me?
因为我知道如果我说"男人之旅"
Because I know if you hear "Guys' trip,"
你会觉得被丢下了
you'll feel left out,
我每年都想找个圆♥满♥的方式解决
and I try to handle it nicely every year
这样大家都高兴
so nobody gets upset.
我还称之为"妻子管理"
I call it "Wife management."
-是吗真的啊 -对
- Oh, you do, do you? - Yeah.
-我不喜欢这个叫法 -确实不好
- Yeah, I don't like that phrase. Yeah. - No, no, no, no.
"妻子管理"
"Wife management."
不过这个词听起来有点熟悉
Although, it does sound familiar.
我在哪里听过呢
Where have I heard that?
我们要去旅行很开心但是我不太想
I'm glad we're going, but I'm just not sure
住在一个又脏又旧的湖边小屋里
about staying in some dirty old cabin.
没关系不必担心
Oh, no, no, no. Don't worry about that.
我已经找到了很好的酒店
I already found a great hotel.
我可以跟亚当说
I'll just tell Adam
我在查那边的天气
that I was looking at the weather up there,
碰巧发现了这家酒店
and I just happened to find it.
这叫"丈夫管理"
That's called "Husband management."
没有从来没听过
No, never heard anything like it.
不过介于我这么宽宏大量
But, you know, 'cause I'm so forgiving,
我不会因为这件事大发脾气的
I won't make a big deal out of it.
谢谢亲爱的
Thanks, honey.
不过我得说你还真是撒了不少谎
Yeah, but I got to say, you told a lot of lies.
都是因为当了队长很有压力
It was the pressure of being captain.
你知道我跟爸的关系
You know how it is with Dad.
我永远比不上大唐
I'm always playing second fiddle to Don.
但这是第一次爸选了我
But for the first time, Dad picked me,
我却搞砸了
and I screwed it all up.
我忙着挽救这次旅行
I was so busy trying to save it,
却没有考虑你的感受我错了
I put the trip ahead of you, and I'm sorry.
-我理解 -谢谢
- I understand. - u202dThank you.
你总是偶尔犯蠢
Your jackassery.
这个吐槽来得真是出其不意
Came around from behind on that one.
可以的
Yeah. Yeah.
不过这些都不重要了我不去了
But, you know, it doesn't matter anymore. I'm not going.
爸跟大唐关系好
Dad and Don are buddies,
我不必再挣扎了
and I should just stop chasing this.
你们怎么来了
What are you doing here?
我们有话要跟你说
We have something to say.
大唐跟你弟弟道歉
Don, apologize to your brother.
爸爸说我很抱歉
Dad says I'm sorry.
不你很抱歉我也很抱歉
No. You're sorry, and I'm sorry.
赶紧把帽子还给他
Now give him the damn hat.
抱歉我出♥卖♥♥♥了你
Sorry I screwed you over.
当时我觉得很搞笑事发之后也很好笑
It was funny at the time, then funny right after,
后来爸爸说不好笑
then Dad said it wasn't funny.
开车来的路上我又觉得很好笑
Then driving over here, it got funny again.
但是现在我很内疚
But now I feel bad.
这整件事都是我的错
This whole thing was my fault.
我一直希望你们之间是竞争关系
I always liked to foster competition between you boys,
因为我觉得这会让你们更强大
because I thought it'd make you stronger,
但说到底
but in the end,
人必须能够依靠自己的家人
you need to know you can depend on your family,
而我们让你失望了
and we let you down.
谢谢爸
Wow. Thanks, Dad.