老爸有招

Man with a Plan S03E09

Part 2 April 11, 2020, 12:19 p.m.

好的
Right.
现在感觉如何了
How do you feel now?
疼得更严重了
Much worse.
好的你在恢复了
Okay. Okay, good, good. We're making progress.
在这件事情上你必须相信我
Okay, now you're gonna have to trust me on this.
耙子是干嘛用的
What's the rake for?
你可以咬着这下一定会很疼的
For you to bite down on. This is gonna hurt.
好了大派对开起来吧
All right, let's party.
你真的要跟我假装你没事吗
Are you seriously pretending to be okay right now?
为什么就为了去路西法的腚沟吗
Why? So you can take that trip down Lucifer's Heinie?
我没有装啊
I'm not pretending.
我感觉好极了
I have never felt better.
所以我要去魔鬼的排气管骑摩托
Which is why I will be riding the Devil's Tailpipe.
你取笑它的名字只会让我更想去
And your mocking names only make me want to go more.
如果你感觉好极了何不去试试
Well, if you feel fine, why don't you try out
孩子们送给你的生日礼物
your birthday present from the kids?
-这是一个保龄球 -对
- That's a bowling ball. - Yeah.
拿起来
Pick it up.
我已经有一个了大唐还是你拿吧
I already have one. Don, why don't you take it?
我拿不起来
Mm, I can't pick that up.
我刚刚好像把脖子扭到了
I, uh, I sort of tweaked my neck
就是帮你修
when I was trying to fix your... u202d
背印的时候
...ack-bay.
干得漂亮
Nice work.
她永远都猜不到你是什么意思
She'll never crack that code.
够了你不许去
All right, you are not going on that trip.
你已经是50岁的人了
Okay, you are a 50-year-old man
吹个蜡烛都能把自己伤了
who injured himself blowing out candles.
好吧我是把后背伤了很轻的
Okay! I hurt my back. A little.
过几天肯定就好了
But I'll be fine in a couple of days.
亚当我是这个家的保护者
Adam, I am the protector of this family, okay?
我告诉凯特你不能在火山口按滑索
I told Kate, "No, you can't zip-line over a volcano."
我告诉泰迪不行你不能骑自行车
And I told Teddy, "No, you can't jump over Emme
从艾米身上跳过去
with your bicycle."
现在我要告诉你不行知道吗
And now, I am telling you, "No," Okay?
你不能去让我变成寡妇赛道
You cannot ride the "Make Me Raise Our Kids Alone" Trail.
要是医生给我开条
What if I get a note from a doctor
说我很好可以去呢
saying I am good to go?
那你就去吧
Well, yeah. Sure.
祝你好运
Best of luck.
希望那张条子不要太重不然你拿不起来
Just hope that note's not too heavy for you to pick up.
医院
爸爸你那是偷东西
Dad, that's stealing.
这个东西是免费的
This stuff is complimentary.
就像酒店房♥间里的香皂和咖啡机一样
Like the soaps and coffeemakers in hotel rooms.
请进
Come in.
你这个年龄这个后背的状态很不错乔
Well... these back X-rays look good for a man your age, Joe.
那是我的片子
Those are my X-rays.
情况不太妙
That's not good.
你最近做什么剧烈运动了吗
You do any strenuous activities lately?
我在建筑业工作有很多需要抡锤子的
Well, I'm in construction, so there's a lot of hammering,
爬梯子的搬东西的工作
climbing ladders, lifting stuff, you know.
我儿子的意思是他在吹生日蜡烛的时候
What my boy is trying to say is he hurt his back
把后背伤到了
blowing out some birthday candles.
人变老了就是会这样
Well, that's just part of getting older.
是这样的
Okay, here's the deal.
我计划要去科罗拉多州的一座山上
I have a trip planned to ride a dirt bike
骑越野摩托
down a mountain in Colorado.
这是我的梦想我可以去吗
It's been a lifelong dream. Can I do it?
我的梦想是想当爵士钢琴家
You know, my lifelong dream was to be a jazz pianist.
如果我成功了现在我就能为你弹奏一曲悲伤的歌♥曲
If I had done that, I could play you a sad song right now
因为你去不成了
about how you can't go on that trip.
我的专业意见是你拉伤了
In my professional opinion, you pulled something.
你是从片子里看出来得
Huh, did you get that from the X-ray,
还是从我走进来说
or from when I walked in and said,
我好像拉伤了
"I think I pulled something."
这个列表里都是舒展运动
Here's a list of stretches you can do
可以帮你更好的恢复
to help the healing process.
我们在来的路上吃了很多冰棍
We, uh, had a bunch of Popsicles on the way over.
洛厄尔你准备怎么花奖金
So, Lowell, what are you gonna do with your bonus?
我已经把选项缩减到储蓄债券
I'm trying to decide between a savings bond
和大肚子猪了
or a potbellied pig.
那你一定要选猪
Well, y-you got to go with the pig.
如果世道不好储蓄债券
If things get tough, you can't make a sandwich
又不能拿来做三明治
out of a savings bond.
我准备雇一位摄影师
Well, I am gonna hire a photographer
拍一张全家福我们穿着成套的衣服
to take a family picture of us in matching outfits.
看起来就像这样的
And it's gonna look a little something like this.
孩子们
Kids?
我从来没有这样不开心过
This is the least happy I've ever been.
这样不对妈妈
Not cool, Mom.
我看起来像刚从一夫多妻制逃出来的
I look like I just escaped polygamy.
不你看起来像刚从可爱农场来的
No, you look like you just escaped the cute farm.
乔来了亚当怎么样
Oh, hey, Joe. How's Adam?
你这个束腰真华丽啊弟弟
That's some fancy lingerie, little brother.
爸你还好吗
Dad, are you okay?
如果还好的话帮帮我们
And if you are, help us.
孩子们你们去换衣服吧
Uh, kids, why don't you go get changed.
怎么样医生怎么说
So? How was the doctor?
摩托车旅行要取消了他说我不能去
The motorcycle trip's off. He said I can't go.
我已经被诊断为过度衰老
I've been diagnosed with excessive oldness.
没错
Yeah.
但是在出来的路上护士跟我说
But on the way out, the nurse told me
我比以前矮了几公分真是雪上加霜
I'm an inch shorter than I used to be, so I got that.
那我得再确认一下
Well, then I should double-check.
也许你的身高不够去坐天鹅船了
You may not be tall enough for the swan boat.
我不会去坐天鹅船的洛厄尔
We're not doing the swan boat, Lowell.
-亲爱的你还好吗 -我挺好的
- Honey, are-are you okay? - u202dI'm fine.
我有哪里看起来不好吗
What about me doesn't seem fine?
浑身上下看起来都不太好
Pretty much the whole package.
好吧看来你说得对
Well, I guess you were right.
我不服老不行了从今天起
It's time to act my age, so from now on,
我就活在沙发上了
this couch is where I will be living.
跟我爸一起
With my dad.
等等等等
Well, hold on, hold on.
你还没到那个年纪呢
You're-you're not that age, either.
但我不是20岁了
I'm not 20 anymore.
那你也不是70岁啊
Yeah, but you're not 70.
四舍五入也差不多了
I am if you round up.
我都没办法自己穿袜子了
I can't even put on my own socks.
真舒服
Oh, that's nice.
欢迎来到安乐之地儿子
Welcome to the promised land, boy.
舒坦...
Yeah...
你看到这景象了吗
Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
是啊我嫁给了乔
Yeah. I'm married to Joe.
新英格兰地区温暖天气持续
New England is enjoying a warm spell,
但是低压系统正在逐渐形成
but a low pressure system is moving in.
这个反转我真是没料到
There's a twist I did not see coming.
低压系统真够狡猾
Low pressure's a sneaky bastard.
好了我觉得你应该从沙发上起来了
Okay, I think it's time to get off the couch.
已经一个礼拜了
Okay? It's been a week.
什么我提醒一下你我伤到了后背
Wha-- I would remind you, I have a back injury.
我不能现在起来
I can't get up now;
天气预报主持人马上要宣布重大消息了
this weather lady's about to stick a ruler in the snow.
乔原来你在这里
Ah, Joe, there you are.
走吧你保证过会陪我去公园散步的
Let's go. You promised we'd take a walk in the park.
我去她真是狡猾
Man, she's sneaky.
你妈妈就是个低压系统
Your mother's a damn low pressure system.
你不愿意跟我去健身房♥
A walk is the least you can do
至少可以陪我散散步吧
since you won't exercise with me at my gym.
你就是想在健身房♥ 在你那群女性朋友面前