老爸有招

Man with a Plan S03E05

Part 2 April 11, 2020, 12:19 p.m.

she-she sent them to a modeling agency
因为你实在太可爱了
since you're so darn cute.
但别想把这些照片要回来了
But don't try to track those pictures down.
那家模特公♥司♥ 被一条巨鲸吞掉了
That modeling agency was swallowed by a giant whale.
所以为了完成你的作业
So, for your school project,
我们准备
we are going to...
伪造一张婴儿照片含住奶嘴
fake a baby picture. Pop in this binky,
我们从远处照会显得你很小
and we'll take one from far away so you look small.
我的天啊妈妈
Oh, my God! Mom!
爸爸把我的门拿走了
Dad took my door!
欢迎来到老派生活
Welcome to the old school.
凯蒂你的表现说明了你不能被信任
Katie, you have shown that you can't be trusted.
这样我就能看到你的一举一动了
This way, I can keep track of your every move.
而且现在你准备摔什么小摔虎
Plus, what are you gonna slam now, Slammy Davis Jr.?
我们家怎么有这么多门
Why do we have so many doors?
不好解决啊你有没有考虑过放手不管
This seems hard. Have you considered
以后让她去折磨男朋友去
just letting it be her boyfriend's problem someday?
你在干什么
What are you doing?
凯蒂在衣柜里和她的朋友
Katie is in her closet laughing it up
打着电♥话♥哈哈笑
with her friend on the phone.
她麻烦大了为什么还能笑得出来
She is in trouble. Why is she laughing?
-这个 -我告诉你为什么
- Well... - u202dI'll tell you why.
好嘞您讲
Okay, you go.
现代教育
Modern parenting.
你说完了啊
Oh, that's it?
我还以为你准备长篇大论讲十分钟
I thought you were gonna talk for ten minutes again,
都想去拿根谷物棒以备不时之需了
and I was gonna go grab a granola bar for sustenance.
她不应该高兴的
She doesn't get to be happy.
老派教育中没人是开心的
In old school, no one is happy.
看看老照片里的人一脸痛苦
Look at any old-timey picture. Miserable!
抓到你了
Busted.
-什么事 -笑得太大声
- For what? - Excessive laughing.
你的衣橱柜门也被没收了小姑娘
You just lost your closet door, missy.
安迪把我的工具拿来
Andi, get my tools.
你为什么不直接没收她的手♥机♥呢
Why don't you just take her phone?
这招聪明
That's smarter.
也更严厉
And meaner.
你的手♥机♥被没收了小姑娘
You just lost your phone, missy.
她过两年再打给你
She'll call you back in a few years.
等等我需要手♥机♥
Wait, hold on. I need that.
还有西班牙课的小组作业需要做
I'm doing a group project for Spanish.
好的为了学习
Oh. Okay, well, if it's for school,
你可以用手♥机♥ 我很讲道理的
you can have a phone. I'm reasonable.
我不讲道理
I'm not reasonable.
享受你的新电♥话♥吧
Enjoy your new phone.
这太古老了是用来跟死人通话的吗
It's so old; is it for talking to dead people?
从现在开始它
From now on, this...
就是你唯一可以使用的电♥话♥
is the only phone you are allowed to use.
而且我可以看着你因为你的通话范围只有
And I can keep an eye on you, because you can only go as far
电♥话♥线这么长
as the cord will reach.
我得把电♥话♥线弄短点
I got to make that cord shorter.
你从哪弄来的
Where'd you even get that thing?
我们家的电♥话♥呢
Where's our phone?
亚当说要用
Adam said he needed it.
他最好不要打长途电♥话♥
He better not be calling long distance.
那我的展示开场白要说
So, I'll start the presentation by saying,
[西语]
"La historia de los conquistadores es muy fascinante."
早餐吃得开心吗
Enjoying your breakfast?
我知道这有点烦人但一切都会值得的
I know this is annoying, but it is all gonna pay off.
用勺子吗
Spoon?
谢谢
Thank you.
然后你说 [西语]
And then you'll say, "Yo no sabia eso."
我打赌她说的是脏话
I'll bet she's saying curse words.
她真的很生你的气
She's real mad at you.
好的顺便说一下
Good. By the way,
我们的老派规矩里孩子需要自己打扫
part of our old-school rules, kids clean up after themselves.
你可以把用过的杯子放到水池里吗
Can you please put your dirty glass in the sink?
乐意之至
Happy to.
不不不
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
我来收拾桌子
I will clear the table.
挺好的
Yeah, that's good.
然后我说
And then I'll say,
[西语]
"Los conquistadores eran guerreros viciosos."
够了
All right.
凯蒂亲爱的
Katie, honey...
我给你看样东西
let me show you something.
亚当我们要不要制定一个
Adam, do we have a...
实施这种方式的时间限制
time frame on how long this is gonna take?
我们什么时候才知道自己赢了
I mean, when do we know we won?
等她说我错了你是对的对不起
When she says, "I was wrong. You were right. I'm sorry."
就是每次我跟你说的话
You know, that thing I always end up saying to you.
可你说得特别好
But you're so good at it.
真是熟能生巧
Practice does make perfect.
凯蒂在外面用我的电♥话♥说西班牙语
Kate was outside speaking Spanish into my telephone.
那要是国际长途你得出电♥话♥费
If that was an international call, you're paying for it.
爸跟你说你绝对会喜欢的
Hey, Dad, you're gonna love this.
自从我们发现凯蒂偷溜出去
Since we caught Katie sneaking out,
我就用严厉的老派教育
I have been making her life miserable
让她的生活苦不堪言
with some tough, old-school parenting.
让她尝到苦头了
Oh, really giving her the business, huh?
我非常坚定
Oh, I am locked in.
我一晚上没睡一直在想怎么给凯蒂添堵
I was up all night thinking of different ways to bum Katie out.
你为了给孩子上一课
So you're turning your life upside down
-自己的生活都乱套了 -对
- to teach a kid a lesson? - Yeah.
这是我听过跟老派教育最不沾边的东西
That's the furthest thing from old school I've ever heard.
什么你不懂
What? What? You don't get it.
我把凯蒂的卧室门拆了
I took Katie's bedroom door.
门是青少年最喜欢的东西而我拆走了
A door is like a teenager's favorite thing, and I took it!
这绝对是冷酷无情的老派作风
That is stone-cold old.
儿子你小的时候
Son, when you were a kid,
我根本都不知道你有没有门
I didn't even know if you had a door.
这才叫老派教育
That's old school.
我们相信孩子需要新鲜空气
We believed in fresh air for kids.
每天早上我们就把你们像空奶瓶一样放出去
Every morning, we just put you outside like a milk bottle.
完了
Oh, no.
亚当怎么了宝贝
Adam, what's wrong, honey? Are...? Oh.
是不是你♥爸♥不知道你有没有门你伤心了
Are-are you sad 'cause your dad didn't know if you had a door?
什么比这糟糕多了
What? It's worse than that.
我是现代家长
I'm a modern parent.
贝芙他似乎很难过
Bev, he seems upset.
把你的肌肉放松剂给他一颗
Give him one of your muscle relaxers.
我简直无法相信
I can't believe this.
我如此现代甚至不知道老派是什么样子
I'm so modern, I don't even know what old school is anymore.
我就像一只猫穿着狗的戏服
I'm like a cat wearing a dog costume.
你从小很敏感
Well, you've always been sensitive.
记得你那次站在龙虾池前面大哭吗
Remember that time you stood in front of the lobster tank crying?
我当时才六岁
I was six.
你让我选我最喜欢的一个
You told me to pick my favorite one.
我不知道接下来会发生什么
I didn't know what was gonna happen next.
-他们把围裙系在了他身上就跟天塌了一样 -是啊
- They put the bib on him, and all hell broke loose. u202d- Yeah.
你不要这样自责
Well, don't beat yourself up.
你也没有多现代
I mean, you're not so modern.
你还会穿着浴袍冲洗走廊呢
You still hose down the driveway in your bathrobe.
我那是想给女邻居们提供一道风景线
That's just to give the neighbor ladies a thrill.
奶奶我学校作业需要的婴儿照片带了吗
Grandma, do you have that baby picture for my project?
当然有啦宝贝
I sure do, honey.
-给你 -谢谢
- There you go. u202d- Thanks.
你看到了吗
Did you see that?
艾米想要的我们没有所以她问了贝芙
We didn't have what Emme needed, so she asked Bev.
她很聪明
She's resourceful.
是啊我们把她教得不错