老爸有招

Man with a Plan S03E01

Part 4 April 11, 2020, 12:18 p.m.

那我应该跑不远
Well, I wouldn't have gotten very far.
我动作越快我的鞋就会越亮
The faster I move, the brighter my shoes blink.
我为什么要把遥控器藏起来
Why did I hide the remote?
我应该直接拿走
I should've taken it!
谁都喜欢找到遥控器的感觉
Everyone loves finding the remote.
这下她找到之后会很开心
Now she's gonna find it and be happy.
这算什么报复
That's not payback!
你去哪儿了
Where have you been?
你们这帮傻瓜被抓的时候
Well, while you jokers were getting caught,
我像忍♥者一样藏进了衣柜里
I hid in the closet like a ninja.
你不能用"像忍♥者一样"修饰很平凡的动作
You can't just say normal things and then add "Like a ninja."
我像忍♥者一样... 吃了肉丸三明治
I ate a meatball sandwich... like a ninja.
你别扫我的兴安迪
Don't step on my moment, Andi.
我接下来有大事要宣布
I'm getting to something good.
听我说我没拿到你的衣服
Okay, now, I didn't get your clothes,
因为说实话我分不清哪些衣服是你的
because, well, honestly, I couldn't tell the difference
哪些是珍的
between yours and Jen's.
但我发现一个办法
But I did find a way
可以让她非常不开心
to make her very unhappy.
这是我送你的礼物
This is my gift to you.
她的厕纸
Her toilet paper?
他拿走了她的厕纸真是太有创造力了
He took her toilet paper! That's so imaginative.
每一卷都拿走了
Every roll in the house.
这下该谁在家里做企鹅游♥行♥了
Who's gonna be doing the march of the penguins now?
-太机智了 -对吧
- Oh, that is good. -u202d Yeah.
而且我也不用去便利店买♥♥了
Plus, it saves me a run to Costco.
是啊而且现在
Yeah. Yeah. And now,
没有人帮她换厕纸了
there's no one there to replace it.
她就会后悔把你赶走的决定
She is gonna regret the day she let you go.
-每当她需要"光腚"的时候 -没错
- Every time she has to go. -Yeah.
这才叫报复
Now that is payback.
享受走鸭步的感觉吧
Enjoy the duck walk.
嘎嘎珍
Quack quack, Jen.
谢谢你
Thank you for this.
不客气
You're welcome.
你拥抱起来像个忍♥者
You hug like a ninja.
多谢夸奖洛厄尔
Thank you, Lowell.
好了洛厄尔睡熟了
Okay, Lowell is out cold.
他真的是以胎儿姿势在睡觉
He really does sleep in the fetal position.
我本来想把他拉直
I tried to straighten him out,
但他马上又弹回去了跟一根卷发似的
and he just snapped right back, like a curly hair.
抱歉我们今天没做什么工作
Sorry we didn't get much work done today.
这不算什么
Eh, we've done less.
我是认真的
Well, I-I'm serious.
我不希望我去上班会让你压力很大
I don't want me being at work to stress you out.
一天之内你对我去上班的感受
I mean, in one day, you went
从兴奋到担忧后来成了抵触
from excited to worried to reluctant.
亲爱的这只是"跟老婆当同事"的
Honey, that's just the three stages
三个阶段性感受
of working-with-your-wife grief.
我现在已经到了第四阶段
Okay, and now, I am at the fourth stage:
愉快地接受
joyful acceptance.
那以后不会再有妻子防护行动不会藏东西了
So no more wife-proofing? No more hiding things?
我确实有一件小事要交代
I do have one small confession.
-什么 -我对新同事有强烈的好感
- What? - I got a huge crush on the new guy.
我认真的今天你去上班真的很好
No, seriously, I'm glad you were there.
如果不是你我永远不会发现洛厄尔的事
If it wasn't for you, I never would've known about Lowell,
我觉得我们真的帮到了他
and I think we helped him.
毕竟他现在有电视了
You know, he's got a TV now.
有时候电视比家人还要好
And sometimes, that's better than a family.
你非常睿智
You are very wise.
就像...
Like a...?
就像忍♥者一样
Like a ninja.
漂亮
Yeah.
我像个忍♥者一样逼你说了这句话
I made you say that... like a ninja.