生活点滴（2015）
Life in Pieces
第一季
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生活点滴（2015）
Life in Pieces S01E01
Part 3
Oct. 12, 2020, 11:17 a.m.
You lost your virginity to a couch?
你把你的初夜给了一个沙发
It only occurred to me when I looked down and saw a lint ball
我往身下看的时候 看到了一个棉球
and a nickel stuck to the end of my penis.
还有一个硬币粘在小鸡鸡尾端那儿 我才意识到
I can't believe you're a doctor.
我简直不敢相信你是个医生
Yes, well, speaking of which,
嗯 说到这个
you make sure you wrap that rascal.
你可得管好你那裤裆里的小调皮
The clap is back.
举头望明月 低头啪啪啪
Don't worry.
别担心
I'll take good care of Tyler.
我会照顾好泰勒
We're gonna spend some time in the library,
我们会花点时间泡图书馆
grab a healthy meal followed by a prayer meeting.
结束祷告会之后吃顿健康营养餐
Then straight to sleepsville.
然后直接去见周公
All right, honey, just promise me
好吧 宝贝儿 你答应我
you're gonna make good choices.
你会做出正确的选择
I will. Yeah. Okay. Oh, you know what, you have a little...
我会的 是的 好的 哦 你知道吗 你这儿有点
Mom. Mom. Right here. It's okay. I got it.
妈 妈 就这里 没事 我搞定了
It's gone now. Gone.
现在没了 没了
Okay. Made you a sandwich, so you have... Mom,
好吧 我给你做了个三明治 你就能 妈
are you kidding? No, it's for you. Just stick it in your pocket
你在逗我吗 不啊 这是为你做的 放在口袋里别丢了
so you have it for later. I don't care if you eat it. I don't want it.
你等会儿晚点就能吃了 我不在乎你吃不吃 我不想要
I just want you to take it with you. I'm not going to.
我只想要你带着它 我可不想带
Because... Just take the sandwich so we can
因为 你就拿着这个三明治吧 这样
all get on with our lives. Mom...
我们才能好过点 妈
There are cranberries in it, and I want you to have it
这有点蔓越橘 我想你拿着这些
in case you need a snack.
免得你想吃点零食啥的
Okay.
好吧
I love you!
我爱你哦
I wish your mom would shove her sandwich in my pants.
我希望你妈妈把她的三明治塞我裤子里
Let's talk party options for the night.
我们来谈谈今晚选哪个派对嗨吧
So he didn't want the sandwich.
所以他并不想要三明治
I would've eaten it. No, it's not the sandwich.
我本来想吃掉的 不 这不是三明治的问题
It's just... Tyler is applying to colleges.
就是 泰勒正准备申请大学了
I feel like it was just yesterday he was in diapers.
我觉得他昨天还穿着纸尿裤呢
God, he was so cute. Do you...
天哪 他小时候那么萌 你还
You remember how he used to call berries "babies"?
记得他过去把莓说成妹吗
Like, "straw-babies" and "rasp-babies"?
比如 “草-妹”和“树-妹”
And "black-babies".
还有“黑-妹”
Screaming for 'em at the restaurant. Oh, my God.
还在餐厅大哭大闹地说要吃 哦天哪
"Eat black-babies! Eat black-babies! Eat black.."?
“想吃黑-妹 想吃黑-妹 想吃黑”
Oh. Made that trip to Jamaica one for the record books.
哦 那场去牙买♥♥加的旅行可以载入世界纪录大全了
I can't believe you would tell her he isn't real.
简直不敢相信 你跟她讲说他不是真实存在的
She did it on purpose. You asked. What am I supposed to do, lie?
她是故意的 你自己问我的 那我该怎么办 撒谎吗
Yes! Billions of people lie about it every year!
是的 每年有几十亿人撒这个谎呢
Well, you told me never to lie.
哦 是你跟我说别撒谎的
Go to your room. I don't have a room. We're in a hotel.
回你房♥间待着去 我没房♥间 我们住酒店呢
Go to the bathroom.
去厕所待着去
But I don't... have to go.
但我并不 需要去
Go into the bathroom now.
去厕所待着 马上去
Are you kidding me?
你逗我呢
So, it's this giant conspiracy that everyone is in on but me?
所以说 这是不是一个巨大的阴谋 除了我所有人都参与了
The fact that you know the word "conspiracy"?
你知道“阴谋”这个词
makes me think maybe you were ready for the truth.
让我觉得你已经准备好接受这个事实了
What else has this entire family been lying about?
这个家还有什么瞒着我的事
Like, is the Easter B... Madeup.
比如说复活节兔 假的
What about the Too... Madeup.
牙仙呢 假的
All made-up. Everything.
所有都是假的 所有都是
Even God?
连上帝都是吗
That's real.
那是真的
Up is down and down is up for me right now.
简直毁三观啊
I need some time alone.
我想静静
Okay. I... I think the closet is still available.
好吧 我 我觉得衣柜还是空的
Thank you. You're welcome.
谢谢 不用谢
And you have some serious trust to rebuild here.
你们想重获我对你们的信任 可要加把劲了
How could she be so smart and not have figured it out yet?
她那么聪明 为什么现在才搞清楚这些东西
Because, Tim, she is a sweet, innocent child.
因为 蒂姆 她是个蠢萌的小孩啊
Or she was. Our last baby.
或者她原来是 我们最后一个小宝贝
I mean, first Tyler and now this.
我的意思是 先是泰勒 现在又是这个
I just don't know how much more I can take.
我真不知道我还能承受多少刺♥激♥
Mom, I think I got my period.
妈 我觉得我大姨妈来了
Oh, my God.
哦 天哪
Congratulations.
恭喜你
What do you mean you don't know how to get ice? You just push
你说你不知道怎么拿冰水是什么意思 你就按下
the giant button that says "Ice"?and the ice...
那个上面写了“冰”的那个大按钮就好了啊 然后冰水
Whoa. What are you... Mmm.
哦喔 你在 嗯
Oh. I want to have another baby.
噢 我想再要个孩子
What, here? Hurry up. Let's do it now
什么 这儿 快点儿 现在来一发吧
before the kids wake up and then they wonder where we are.
在他们醒来 然后纳闷儿我们在哪里之前
I don't know if we should be having another kid
我不知道我们还应不应该再要一个孩子
if we're hiding from the ones we already have.
如果我们不告诉咱孩子的话
No, our fourth one will be different.
不 我们的第四胎肯定会与众不同
This'll be our special baby.
将会是我们最特别的小宝贝
We will finally get everything right.
我们会搞定所有事情的
Mmm. Oh, God, you're making a lot of sense right now. Yeah.
唔 噢 我的天啊 你说的简直太有道理了 对
You know what, what are the odds we mess up four in a row, right?
知道吗 我们怎么可能连续四次搞砸呢 对吧
Right? Let's do this. It can still work, right?
对吧 我们来做吧 还能行 对吗
I tell you I want to have a baby with you,
我告诉你我想跟你要一个孩子
and then you call me old.
然后你却嫌弃我老
No, that was a practical question.
不 那是一个实际的问题
I would never call you old. I'm old.
我绝对不会嫌弃你老 是我老得掉渣
how I'm going to react if you say something like that to me.
我对你说的这种话会有什么样的反应
No, you see, that's just it. I don't know. Because I don't know what I'm saying.
不是的 你要知道 是这样的 我不知道 因为我根本不清楚我在说什么
Nine times out of ten, I don't think. I just speak.
十有九次 我不过脑子 就把它说出来了
So when I ask can it still work,
所以当我问还能行吗
I just want to know if we're playing with live bullets.
我只是想知道我们是不是真枪实弹地上
Oh, my bullets are live. Yeah?
我的子弹能行 是吗
Yeah. I just want to know if the target is...
是的 我只是想知道靶子是不是
fresh.
新鲜的
So right there, were you... thinking or just speaking again?
所以刚才 你是 思考了还是 你又没过脑子
I thought I was thinking but, turns out, I just spoke.
我觉得我想了一会会儿 但是 却发现 我还是没过脑子
Yeah.
对
Come on. No.
来吧 不要
I think I'm good. I'm... I'm...
我觉得已经够了 我 我
Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good.
对 够了 够了 够了
Heather.
希瑟
Do you still want the ice?
你还要冰吗
Geez.
天啊
Rise and shine, High School.
快起来 上高中了
Your parental units are here.
你的家长在这了
Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon
# 卡玛 卡玛 卡玛 卡玛 卡玛变色龙 #
So, how was it?
怎么样了
You come and go
# 你来了又走 #
If your colors were like my dream
# 如果你与我梦的颜色一致 #
You ate your sandwich.
你吃了你的三明治
That's classic.
我就知道
Kids,
孩子们
I just want you to know
我只是想让你们知道
that it's okay that you're not crying.
你们没流眼泪也没有关系
'Cause we each grieve over your father's... death
因为我们对你们父亲的 逝世以不同的方式
in different ways.
来表达悲痛
Yeah. Putting on quite a show, huh, Mom?
是的 戏演得不错嘛 妈妈
Yeah, how are we supposed to act?
是啊 我们应该怎么表现
I've never been to one of these before.
我以前从来没见识过这种场合
It's gonna be okay.
会没事的
That's how you act.
就该这么做
Thank you, sweetie. Your father would be proud of you.
谢谢你 亲爱的 你父亲会为你自豪的
Oh, here he is now.
哦 他来了
Are we supposed to clap? Hello
我们要鼓掌吗 大家好
and thank you all for coming to my funeral.
谢谢你们来参加我的葬礼
Is this a cool
这是不是一个很酷的
70th birthday party or what?
70岁生日会什么的
生活点滴（2015）
Life in Pieces
剧集 | 生活点滴（2015） | 导航列表