生活点滴（2015）

Life in Pieces S01E03

Part 2 Oct. 12, 2020, 11:17 a.m.

I'm just being brought in for a urine test.
我只是被带去做个尿检
I cannot believe you are getting a night away.
我真不敢相信你就这样逃过了一个晚上
It...
这
I'm going to jail.
我是要去拘留所
This is not a night away.
不是逃过了一个晚上
You know, you always get the breaks.
你知道吗你总是能休息
When it's your turn to watch her, she sleeps.
轮到你照看她的时候她就睡觉
When it's your turn to feed her,
轮到你喂她的时候
she doesn't throw up in your mouth.
她不会吐你一嘴
When it's your turn to go on a diaper run, you get arrested.
轮到你去紧急购物的时候你居然被捕了
When's it my turn?
什么时候轮到我呢
When's it... when... when's it Mommy's turn
什么时候什么时候什么时候轮到妈妈
to catch a break, Greg?
休息一下呢格雷格
Greg?
格雷格
Oh, my God, did you just fall asleep?
哦我的天你这是睡着了吗
Greg!
格雷格
Greg!
格雷格
And now you woke the baby.
现在你又把宝宝吵醒了
And, uh, I'll take four of those Wizard Fingers.
还有呃我要四个巫师手指
You want one more? Make it a fist?
再来一个吧凑个拳头
Fist me.
给我一拳吧
Okay.
好吧
Alright.
行的
Hey, babe, have you seen my Motley Crue T-shirt?
嘿亲爱的你看见我那件克鲁小丑的T恤了吗
You know, the one that used to scare Samantha
你知道的就是在萨曼莎小的时候
when she was little? Okay, honey, not now.
用来吓她的那件好吧亲爱的现在别和我说话
Karen Jackson is in charge of the school fair
现在轮到凯伦·杰克逊掌管学校事务
and I have to get this e-mail to her within ten minutes
我得在十分钟内把这封邮件发给她
or I'll be stuck at the petting zoo again,
否则我又要被困在宠物动物园了
getting my crotch sniffed by every barnyard animal.
然后所有的农场动物都会来蹭我的裆部
There's a lot more humping going on there
在那你可得比想象得
than you'd expect. That goat would take a run at anything.
更努力点了山羊会跟任何东西赛跑
Mom, I'm hungry. Can you make me a peanut butter and jelly?
妈妈我饿了你能帮我做个花生酱和果冻三明治吗
Tim, honey, can you make her a sandwich, please?
蒂姆亲爱的能拜托你帮她做个三明治吗
No. Daddy doesn't make them right.
不要爸爸做的味道不对
How do you make a peanut butter and jelly wrong?
谁做的花生酱和果冻三明治不都一样吗
You leave the crust on like I'm some kind of animal.
你把面包皮留在上面了好像我是某种动物一样
You know, it's not too
你知道现在把你塞回娘胎
late to return you. Okay, you know what,
还不算太晚好吧你听着
I'll make you one later. Just have an apple.
我一会儿就给你做先吃个苹果吧
Fine. But you know an apple
好吧但是你要知道
is the lazy mother's snack.
苹果是懒妈妈给孩子吃的点心
Mom, can you sign this permission slip?
妈妈能签一下这份许可单吗
It's for an overnight trip to Joshua Tree.
去约苏亚树国家公园过夜野营的许可单
Who's chaperoning? Kylie's mom.
谁是你们的监护人凯莉的妈妈
Uh, no. Is it because she did porn?
呃不行是因为她拍过黄♥片♥吗
It wasn't, but it is now.
本来不是这个原因但是现在是了
Kylie's mom needs help? I'll help Kylie's mom.
凯莉的妈妈需要帮手吗我能帮忙的
You know what, we're-we're good.
你听着我们我们没事儿
I'll-I'll text your teacher and see who else is chaperoning.
我我要给给老师发短♥信♥ 看看还有哪位家长同行
Hey, Mom, uh, can I borrow the car?
嘿老妈呃我能借你的车吗
Gabe and I are gonna go see a movie.
加布和我要去看部电影
Which movie?
什么电影啊
Does it matter?
有关系吗
I'm 17. I can see what I want.
我17了我能看我想看的
It's Minions.
是小黄人啦
If you can find the keys, you can take the car.
找得到钥匙的话你就开走吧
Okay, uh...
好吧呃
"Tina's mom is also chaperoning."
"蒂娜的妈妈也会去"
Who the hell is Tina?
蒂娜又特么是谁啊
You know, dark hair,
你知道的黑头发
has glasses, good at archery...
戴眼镜箭术很好
Mmm...
嗯
Wheelchair.
轮椅
Oh, Tina.
哦蒂娜
The one with great arms.
有很壮的手臂的那个
Yes, I will sign this for you.
好的我会给你签这个的
Is there a general area it might be?
能告诉我钥匙大概在哪儿吗
'Cause this is just tampons and mouthwash.
这儿就只有姨妈巾和漱口水
Sweety, I don't know, I gotta get this e-mail out.
甜心我不知道我得把这封邮件发出去
Good luck.
祝好运
Why was my Crue shirt in the Goodwill bag?
为什么我的小丑短袖在捐赠包里啊
I... I don't know, honey, I mean,
我我不知道啊宝贝儿你看
I-I guess I must have put it in there accidentally.
我我想我肯定是不小心放进去的
Oh! All right.
噢好啊
I'm gonna check and make sure you didn't
我要去检查一下确保你没有
accidentally throw out anything else valuable.
把其他贵重物品不小心给扔了
They're retiring, you know.
他们要退出歌♥坛了你看
They're not going to be a band anymore.
他们马上就不是一个乐队了
Home sweet home, my ass.
家人最亲亲个大爷
I'm still hungry.
我还是很饿
The apple just made it worse.
苹果只让情况更糟了
Who is that? We don't have any friends.
谁啊我们又没有朋友
Hi, I was wondering if you and your family had five minutes
嗨我在想你和你的家人能不能腾个五分钟出来
to talk about the danger of factory farms.
来谈谈工厂化农场的危险呢
I'm really busy.
我真的很忙
It'll just take five minutes.
就只要五分钟
Could you stretch that out to ten?
你能延伸到十分钟吗
Oh, I got a whole hour of material.
噢我的资料够讲上一个小时呢
Come on in, sister,
进来吧姐们儿
let's go. Really?
来吧真的吗
This never happens.
这还从来没有过呢
Okay, for the next ten minutes
好吧接下来十分钟
you three are going to sit here quietly
你们三个给我安安静静地待在这儿
and listen to...
听这位
Kalliope.
卡里奥佩
Kalliope.
卡里奥佩
Did you... did you choose that name?
你你自己取的名字吗
Yes, I got to, on my 18th birthday, so...
对必须的在我18岁成人礼生日上所以
That's lovely.
挺可爱的
I am going to go send
我要去发送
one e-mail. Okay?
一封邮件好吗
The only reason that you have permission to call my name
你们唯一被允许叫我名字的情况
is if one of you is bleeding.
就是你们中有人流血了
Okay?
好吗
I'm talking...
我是说
a lot of blood.
很多血
I-I'm talking like...
我我是说
it will affect the resale
会影响房♥子再次出♥售♥的
of this
血量
You understand? Look at me.
明白了吗看着我
You understand? Okay.
明白了吧好的
Kalliope... you go ahead.
卡里奥佩你继续
So... speaking of bleeding,
所以说提到出血
have you guys ever lived in a cage
你们有没有住过小笼子
where you can't turn around?
小到甚至无法转身
I once got trapped in a Murphy bed.
我有一次被困在一张壁柜床里
I share a Murphy bed with a guy named Kevin.
我和一个叫凯文的家伙同睡一张壁柜床
He's a homeless youth.
他是个无家可归的青少年
"And while I will miss
“我将会想念
the friendly farm animals,
那些友好的农场动物的
I feel that, this year, my time would best be spent
但我觉得今年我最好靠折腾塑料叉子
bringing plastic forks."
来度过我的快乐时光”
Send.
发送
"network not found"?
“找不到网络”
Tim, Tim, why, why is the network not found?
蒂姆蒂姆为什么为什么找不到网络了
Maybe you gave it to Goodwill!
可能被你捐赠掉了咯
Oh! I-I'm walking over to Mom and Dad's.
哦我我要去爸妈那儿
Seriously, Heather?
你认真的吗希瑟
My Capri pants?
我的七分裤你也扔