生活点滴（2015）
Life in Pieces
第一季
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生活点滴（2015）
Life in Pieces S01E06
Part 2
Oct. 12, 2020, 11:18 a.m.
I'm... I'm...
我... 我...
I'm hugging everybody. Okay, that's great,
我要抱你们每一个 好了 够了
but look, you're running out of time here, Chad.
不过 你时日无多了 查德
Okay. Look, I'm really sorry that
好的 听着 真的十分抱歉
all of this has happened, but on some sort of level
为你身上发生的事感到遗憾 但某种程度上
you had to know that this day was gonna come, right?
你就知道这天会来临 对吧
Yeah. But I thought success in my own skin care line
是啊 但我以为我个人的护肤系列
was going to fix the complexion of our relationship.
会修补我们之间的关系
Now I see the only way to turn things around for us is
现在 我能回到本来生活的方法
to accept the consequences of my actions. Great.
就只有接受我所作下的恶果 很好
So I'm gonna let the cops come and get me. I'm ready.
所以 我就坐在这等警♥察♥抓我 我准备好了
I'm ready.
哥准备好了
They're not coming.
他们不会来
They're not coming?
他们不会来吗
No. No.
不会 不会
You lied to me.
你骗了我
Apparently, you don't pose a threat.
很明显 你不构成威胁
I can't even get arrested up in here.
我就连想被抓都不行啊
I mean, we're trying, you know.
我是说 我们都尽力叫警♥察♥了
Okay, here's an idea.
好吧 我有个想法
Great. Call ten of your friends,
好的 给你十个朋友打电♥话♥
ask them if they care about skin health.
问下他们关不关心皮肤护理
If the answer is yes,
如果他们说关心的话
have them call ten of their friends.
就叫他们再打给十个朋友
Hear me out. Or we could just drive you to prison.
听清楚 或者我们可以直接送你去监狱
Again.
再一次送你去
You can pick the music this time.
这次你可以选想听的歌♥
Not even Jack Johnson's
就算是杰克·强森
gonna break me out of this funk.
也不能打破我这困境
You know, I really got to give it to Chad.
你知道吗 我真的想给钱买♥♥查德的东西
He's a good salesman.
他是个很棒的销♥售♥员
Another ten minutes in that car ride to prison,
如果到监狱的车程再多十分钟
I would've bought his entire line of lotions.
我一定会买♥♥下他整个系列的产品
Now he can use them as a dowry for his prison wife.
现在他可以用给他监狱里的老婆作嫁妆
You kidding me? With those cheekbones
你在开玩笑吗 看他的脸
he's gonna be the prison wife.
他在监狱做人家老婆也不成问题
Where were we? Naked cooking.
我们进行到哪 裸体烹饪
Can we skip the cooking part?
能直接跳过做饭的环节吗
Yeah.
当然可以
Ha-ha-ha! I'm free!
哈哈哈 我自♥由♥喇
You got to be kidding me.
你♥他♥妈♥的一定在逗我
Due to...
由于
prison overcrowding, I was processed
监房♥人数过多 我被改为
and immediately released.
立即释放
The system works.
司法系统终于有用了
No.
别
Classic reaction.
你这反应真够经典
All right, let's watch some movies, huh?
好吧 我们来看些电影好吗
Movie night. We can watch Shawshank.
电影之夜 我们可以看 肖申克的救赎
I can tell you guys all the things that are real and...
我可以告诉你们里面什么是真的
what's just Morgan Freeman chewing up scenery.
还有什么地方只是摩根·弗里曼在占着镜头
So am I gonna get one of these glasses of wine, huh?
所以我能喝杯酒吗
yeah, there we go.
好了 就这样
Everything looks good.
看来全都没问题
You guys are free to resume
你们可以任意进行
all normal activities.
生理活动了
All right,
好吧
back in business, bro. Yeah.
又可以啪啪啪了 是的
You may find it more comfortable with this.
你用这个的话会更加舒服
Just be aware that it might feel a little
不过你会发现
different than it did before.
跟之前会有点不同
Uh, d-different? Like how?
不同吗 什么不同
Well, whereas before it may have felt
可能以前是像
like the firm handshake of a closed business deal,
在个秘密会议里"又紧又有力"的"握手"
now it may feel more like
现在可能会比较像
the mandatory handshake of an eight-year-old
在八岁小孩的家庭晚会上
at his parents' dinner party.
你不情我不愿"握握就松手"
All right. Green light, green light.
好了 绿灯 绿灯
Baby... crib, you... bedroom.
孩子...去婴儿床 你 去睡房♥
Come on, people, let's do this.
来吧 大家 快动起来
The runway is clear and the fog has lifted.
雾已散 通道畅通无阻
I've not asked much of you during your short, brief life,
在你短暂的人生中我没要求过什么
but today, I'm begging you, please go to sleep.
不过今天 哥跪求你 拜托你好好睡吧
Okay. Oh.
好了 噢
Oh, hello.
噢 你好喔
Okay, yeah. That's good.
很好 这不错
It's very casual, very relaxed.
很放松 很随意的
Hey, uh, honey.
嘿 亲爱的
Let's turn the lights off, like, just in case
把灯关掉吧 保险一点
it looks like something exploded down there.
免得你一看下去 像有东西被炸开一样
Yeah, uh, well, speaking of exploded,
对了 说开爆♥炸♥
I'm sorry if this is going to go quick.
如果我太快的话请原谅我
It's just been a while since I've done it.
我好一段没啪啪啪了
With another person, you mean.
你意思是很久没跟人啪啪啪吧
Yeah. Yeah, okay.
对 好的
Will you get the stuff that...
你可以帮忙拿一下
the doctor gave me, okay? Oh, yeah.
医生给我的润滑剂吗 噢 可以
And really overdo it, you know.
多用一点
Think like a hair gel at a bar mitzvah.
像是在成人礼上用的发胶越多越好
Okay.
好吧
All right.
好了
You got it? Yeah.
弄好了吗 嗯
Really doing it. Okay, okay.
要开始了 好了好了
Here we go. Here we go.
开始吧 开始吧
Hi. Hi.
嗨 嗨
Feels like I'm on fire down there.
感觉我下面像被火烧一样
Yeah, me, too.
对 我也是
Oh, no, it's like... like my genitals
噢 不 这真的像我的阴♥道♥
are-are actually burning.
真的真的被火烧一样
Yeah, mine, too.
我也是啊
What?
什么
This is hand sanitizer.
这是酒精洗手液啊
Oh, it burns! Oh, my God.
噢 在发烫 我的天啊
There's steam coming off of it.
有水气从那跑出来
Oh, it looks like morning on a golf course.
它就像早上的高尔夫课
Oh, come on, honey, get off the sink,
噢 甜心赶快离开水槽
I will not get off the sink!
我死也不会下来
Oh, that's my side!
噢 那边是我的
Okay, fine...
好了好了
Yeah, no, we checked online.
是的 不 我们上网查过了
We're just wondering if there's anything medically
我们只是想是否有什么药
we can do to speed this along?
能让我们加快消除痛楚
Relax, it'll go away in a couple hours.
放松 几小时后就好了
Oh, that's not what I wanted to hear.
噢 这不是我听想听到的
You have what we in the medical profession
这些情况我们我们医学上
refer to as "cleanis."
称为 "洗鸡鸡"
Oh, that is charming.
噢 听起来不错
Okay, well, thank you.
好了 谢谢你
Um, and, let's, obviously, let's keep this,
还有 当然啦 就件事
um, between ourselves, huh?
就我俩知道就够了 好吗
Of course.
当然啦
Heather, get down here!
希瑟 快下来
You're not gonna believe this!
讲你也不相信
All right, you sure you want to try this again?
好的 你确定想再试一次吗
Yeah, we just gotta get right back on the horse.
对 我们这次就直接来吧
Okay, but now you just said horse,
不过你提到直接来
and that's a lot to live up to.
也有很多花式可以做
Let's go. Okay. Okay.
就直接来吧 好吧
Okay, okay.
好的 好的
No, no, no. You know what, we're doing this.
不不不 我们在啪啪啪
生活点滴（2015）
Life in Pieces
剧集 | 生活点滴（2015） | 导航列表