十三个原因

13 Reasons Why S03E13

Part 7 Sept. 30, 2019, 11:33 a.m.

a tiny voice in my head telling me
我的行为是错的
that what I was doing to you was wrong.
但没有
There wasn't.
以前从来没有
I never had one of those before.
我没有借口就是这样
That's not an excuse, it just... is.
我强♥奸♥了汉娜·贝克
I raped Hannah Baker.
我强♥奸♥了七八个女孩
I raped... seven or eight other girls.
有些是我当时的女友
Some of them were my girlfriends at the time.
我不说是谁但如果她们告诉你请相信她们
I won't name them, but if they choose to tell you, believe them.
我很残缺
I'm broken.
我知道
I know that.
我彻底残缺了
I'm a person in a thousand pieces.
但我在接受辅♥导♥
But I'm seeing a counselor.
这是漫长艰难的过程但
It's a long, hard process, but...
开始一点点地拼凑
little by little, you start picking up the pieces.
你会发现自己在制♥造♥一面镜子
And you realize that what you're making is a mirror.
拼凑得越多就越能看到自己
And the more pieces you put together, the more you see yourself.
我想说我现在不是
I'd like to say that I'm not the same person
强♥奸♥你的那个人了
who raped you...
不是了杰西
anymore, Jess.
但我逐渐发现我永远都是那个人
But what I've come to realize is that I'll always be him.
但我想变好
But I'm trying to be better.
变成在世界上有价值的人
To be someone worth something in this world.
我有一个梦想
I have this dream that
我想成为保护别人的人
I could be someone who protects people somehow.
保护别人远离我这种人
Protects them from people like me,
我原来那种人或许吧
like who I was. I don't know.
我
I am so...
我相当抱歉我对你做的事
fucking sorry for what I did to you.
我知道这些话
And I know words add up
完全无法弥补我从你身上夺走的东西
to nothing compared to what I took from you.
有人曾告诉我
Someone once told me that
要花一辈子时间学习道歉
it'll take me a lifetime to learn what sorry is.
他们说得对
They're right.
我迈出了这一步
But I'm starting.
谢谢你听到了这里
If you've listened this far, thank you.
比我预想的好
It's more than I deserve.
我不会怪你
I wouldn't blame you
把带子摔成碎片我就会
if you smashed this tape to fucking pieces. I would.
祝福你杰西
I wish you the best, Jess.
真心地
Truly.
再见
Goodbye.
我们会怎么样呢
What happens to us now?
你是指我们所有人吗
You mean, like, all of us?
-我不知道 -不我和你
- I don't know. - No. Me and you.
什么也不会发生
Nothing has to happen.
我爱你
I love you.
怎么可能
How can you?
这是
It's...
我只知道我爱你
It's the only way I know.
你怎么会觉得我不是另一个你不认识的女孩呢
How can you look at me and not see somebody different?
你就不会觉得我是那个
Can you look at me and not see the boy...
让布莱斯强♥奸♥你的男孩吗
who let Bryce rape you?
不会
No.
所以呢
So?
贾斯汀我害怕
Justin, I'm afraid.
我知道
I know.
亚力克斯
Alex?
爸爸怎么了
Dad, what is it?
治安官和检察官
Well, the sheriff and the prosecutor
认为他们已有充足的证据
think they have enough evidence
布莱斯·沃克的案子可以结了
to close the case file on Bryce Walker.
杀他的是蒙哥马利·德拉克鲁兹
He was killed by Montgomery de la Cruz.
蒙哥马利已经死了所以
And Montgomery's dead, so...
结案了
case closed.
好的
Okay.
好的
Wow. Okay.
儿子当我去年在浴室地上发现你
You know, son, when I found you last year on the bathroom floor...
我希望中枪的是我脑袋不是你的
I wished that bullet was in my head, not yours.
你懂吗
Do you understand?
我懂
Yeah, I understand.
我爱你儿子
I love you, son.
我也爱你爸爸
I love you too, Dad.
我的好儿子
My boy.
我告诉你这都是凯勒做的
I'm telling you, Caleb did everything.
他甚至还自己做了日料
He even made the masa himself.
你确定詹森会喜欢玉米卷吗
Mijo, are you sure the Jensens like tamales?
大家都喜欢玉米卷
Everyone likes tamales!
我们好想你托尼
We miss you,Tonio.
我们好想你托尼
We miss you! Tonio!
希望你能在这伙计
Wish you were here, man.
你的混♥蛋♥哥哥已经醉了
Your asshole brother's already drunk.
-凯勒 -凯勒
- Caleb. - Caleb...
感恩节快乐帕迪亚先生
Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Padilla.
阿图罗拜托
Arturo, please.
凯勒
Caleb,
很抱歉不能亲自与你见面
I'm sorry we didn't get to meet in person.
我也是很快我希望
I am, too. Soon, I hope.
就算相隔甚远你也是我们的家人
Even from far away, you are family.
你懂吗
You understand me?
是的谢谢你
Yes, sir. Thank you.
你们好好照顾彼此好吗
You two take care of each other, okay?
好的
We will.
我保证
I promise.
天父感谢这顿盛宴
Heavenly Father, we thank you for this wonderful food.
为这个家天主为我们的朋友
For our families, Lord, and for our friends,
感谢您所有的祝福
and all of your abundant blessings.
天父请继续保佑我的孩子们
Father, please bless and keep safe our children.
所有孩子们
All of our children.
他们的世界更黑暗
Their world is darker than ours.
天父原谅我们做过的事
And, Father, forgive us for what we've done to make it that way.
望上帝保佑让我们心存感激
May God keep us all and help us to be truly grateful
为我们的生活和自♥由♥
for our life and our freedom.
以基♥督♥的名义
This we ask in the name of Christ our Heavenly Father.
-阿门 -阿门
- Amen. - Amen.
凯勒托尼我们不信教
Caleb and Tony, we're not a religious family,
但我们会祈祷如果你们愿意的话
but we can say a prayer, if you'd like?
天主放弃我们时我也放弃了他詹森太太
I gave up on the Catholics when they gave up on us, Mrs. Jensen.
我是浸礼教♥徒♥
I'm a recovering Baptist myself.
我们的传统是绕着桌子走
Well, our tradition is to just go around the table
说出自己感激的事
and say what we're thankful for.
我感激有这么多人在这
I'm thankful for having so many people around the table.
我感激托尼
I am thankful for Tony.
我
I'm...
感激可以找到这个家
thankful that family can be... where you find it.
我感激克雷可以在这
I am thankful that Clay is here,
他有那么多在乎他的人
and that he has so many people that care about him.
我
Uh, I'm...
感激
thankful to...
能拥有一个家
to have family at all.
以及
And...
我并没戒瘾
I haven't stayed clean...
一直都没有
all this time.
对不起
I'm sorry.
很抱歉对你们撒谎
I'm sorry for lying to you guys.
我
And I...
我可能需要更多帮助
I probably need more help.
我不是有意破坏气氛
I didn't mean to bring... bring the mood down.
我们会努力帮助你贾斯汀
We will get you whatever help you need, Justin.
我们保证
We promise.
我