十三个原因

13 Reasons Why S03E08

Part 6 Sept. 30, 2019, 11:23 a.m.

I just fell into a depression.
等我终于自己走出来时
And by the time I made my way out,
你好像已经不需要我了
it was like you didn't need me anymore.
你好像在抗拒我了
Like somehow you rejected me.
我所有关于自己会成为糟糕母亲的恐惧
And all the fears I had about being a terrible mother...
都成真了
confirmed.
我知道我知道这听起来很荒唐
I know... I know it's ridiculous.
一个小男孩
A little baby boy...
我应该抱着他爱他
who I should have held and loved.
但我就是不知道该怎么做
And I just didn't know how.
布莱斯
Bryce...
你现在感觉如何
how does that make you feel?
我不知道
I... I don't know.
不知道也没关系
It's okay not to know.
我根本不在乎
And I didn't really care about the...
那些该死的白色毯子
fucking white carpets,
你就记住这种事了吗
and that's what you remember?
这太让我伤心了
It breaks my heart.
布莱斯和他妈妈的关系有了突破
Bryce and his mother broke through.
你提到了克莱蒙的一个女生吧
You mentioned a girl from Claremont, I think?
我...
I, uh...
是的是啊
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
她真的很好
She's a really great girl.
我不想伤害她
I just don't want to hurt her.
你是指身体上还是情感上的伤害
You don't want to hurt her physically or emotionally?
我不知道
I don't know, I just--
我不希望在她身上犯任何错误
I don't want to do anything wrong with her.
我希望为了她变得更好
I want to be better for her.
你还会产生那些进攻性的念头吗
But you're still having these intrusive thoughts?
我们上过几次床
We've had sex a few times.
她想要上位
She wants to be on top,
这很酷但是我
which is cool, but I...
我们做了
Um, I-- It's-- We're doing it,
我只是我不能消除我脑中关于
and, yeah, I just, I can't get these thoughts out of my mind
在她身上逼她给我口或是
about... being on top of her, forcing her down or...
或是掐住她的想法
or choking her.
我保证我不想那么做我永远不会
Which, I promise, I didn't want to do, I would never.
我只是我不能消除我脑中的这些想法
I just... I can't get these thoughts out of my mind.
这太糟糕了
It's so fucked up.
布莱斯我认为你现在不该约会
Bryce, I don't think that you should be dating right now.
或是有任何性生活我认为你还没准备好
Or having any kind of sex. I don't think that you're ready.
但是但是这个女孩她很特殊
But... but this girl, she's different.
她让我更好
She makes me better.
不她做不到
No, she can't do that.
只有你自己可以
Only you can.
我们需要让你参加一个项目
We need to get you in a program.
你有一些感情问题需要解决
There are some emotional issues that you need to deal with,
认知行为疗法
cognitive behavior therapy.
我可以给你一些推荐
And I can get you some referrals.
所以我
So, I'm...
我完了
I'm fucked...
彻底地对吗
forever, right?
我余下的一生也将是强♥奸♥犯
I'm going to be a rapist for the rest of my life.
我永远也好不了了
I'll never get better.
我不相信这是真的
I don't believe that's true.
我给了他一些推荐
I gave him some referrals
据我所知他一直都没有去
and, to the best of my knowledge, he never went.
他和她分手了吗
Did he break up with her?
那个女孩吗
The... girl?
我不知道
I don't know.
那是我最后一次见她
That was the last time I saw him.
所以如果你没什么好掩藏的
So if you've got nothing to hide,
为什么你要帮助那些警♥察♥陷害我
how come you're helping the cops set me up?
我没有克雷他们想让我佐证他们的说法
I'm not, Clay. They wanted me to help them make their case.
但是我了解你
But I know you,
而且我相信我了解你的心
and I believe that I know your heart.
所以我联♥系♥了那些我希望会维护你的孩子们
So, I called kids who I hoped would stand up for you,
他们也的确这么做了
and they did.
我就应该相信你吗
And I'm just supposed to believe you?
-信你是在帮我们吗 -那就看你了克雷
- That you're trying to help? - That's up to you, Clay.
我从经验所得任何人都不可信
Now, I know from experience that it's hard to trust anyone,
但是有的人是站在你这边的
but there are people that are on your side.
还有另一件事
And there's one other thing.
当我今天和泰勒说话的时候
When I spoke to Tyler today,
自从我去年看到他之后
there was something different about him
他有些变了
since I saw him last year.
是的他
Yeah. He's, uh...
他经历了很多
He's been through a lot.
但是你看出了行为上任何的突然变化吗
But have you seen any sudden change in behavior?
你有发现这样的变化吗
Did you notice anything like that?
-突然变化吗 -他经受了创伤
- Sudden change? - He's been through trauma.
我敢打赌蒙哥马利·德拉克鲁兹
And I bet you money Montgomery de la Cruz
和这有关
has something to do with that.
好好照顾他好吗
Just watch out for him, okay?
我会的
I will.
我保证
I promise.
我只是和他说了真♥相♥
I just told them the truth.
不是全部的真♥相♥ 但是...
I mean, not the whole truth, but the truth,
你是个好人的事实
that... you're a good person.
谢谢你泰勒
Thanks, Tyler.
没事
Yeah.
你怎么样你还好吗一切都好吗
How about you? How are you doing? Everything okay?
还好吧为什么这么问
Pretty much, yeah. Why?
听着我很抱歉最近我没能陪着你
Look, I'm sorry that I haven't been around much lately.
你有事要忙所以
You've got some stuff going on, so...
泰勒
Yeah. Yeah. Tyler...
蒙蒂是不是对你做了什么
did Monty do something to you?
什么你什么意思
What? What do you mean?
我认为
I think...
你经历了一些没有
you've been through something
告诉任何人的事
you haven't told anyone.
也许是去年春天
Maybe last spring?
不是
No. No.
没没有你和谁聊过了
I mean, not... not really. Who have you been talking to?
波特先生
Mr. Porter...
今天发现了些事情
noticed some things today.
但是我也注意到了一些事情
But I've noticed some things, too.
你不想让任何人碰你
You don't want anyone to touch you.
你不去厕所
You won't use the bathrooms.
你想要去死
You wanted to die.
泰泰勒是什么事
Ty... Tyler, what is it?
我我不能
I... I can't.
-我不能 -好你不用说
- I can't. - Okay. Okay, you don't have to.
好
Okay.
但是你可以和我说的
But you can tell me.
你知道的对吗
You know that, right?
你知道我关心你
You know I care about you.
而且在这里你可以告诉我任何事情
And at this point, you can tell me anything.
我
I...
我被
I was...
我在厕所里
I was in the bathroom...
当我从我的分流项目回来的时候
when I got back from my diversion program.
蒙蒂进来了而且他
Monty came in and he...
他对赛场的事很生气而且他他
He was mad about the field and he... he...
把我的头砸向镜子和水槽
smashed my head on the mirror and on the sink.
之后他和泰勒还有肯尼思
And then, he and... Taylor and Kenneth...
他们把我的头按进马桶
they held my head in the toilet.
而且
And...
蒙蒂
Monty...
他拿起墩布而且他
he got a mop, and he...
他扒下我的裤子而且他把它